It’s a K-O-N-Spiracy I!

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I was pulling half of my “Great Ram Conspiracy” out of my gigantic ass. It looks like I am not that far off. Here let’s dissect UponBlueReview’s hottest taek from

This ENTIRE Fiasco Was A FRAME JOB Started by John Harbaugh when Tom Brady told him to “Learn the Rule Book” after The Patriots Beat them in The Divisional Game…

Harbaugh was so Pissed, he got his Team Equipment Mgr. To Email The Colts G.M. Ryan Grigson that “Baltimore Suspected The Patriots were Letting Air out of certain footballs” (with NO PROOF)

Well, that is not what the email said, also I don’t know what you are quoting here are you quoting yourself or whoever wrote that exact line on a facebook post on Tim and Sid’s page? Because If you google those words that post is all you find.

Part 1

The Ravens coach was discussed only in the context that the wrong balls were used during special teams and did not imply he said anything about the Patriots were cheating. The writer says “it is well known around the league” that the Patriots deflate the balls.

Grigson then Made a Complaint to The Vice-president of Game Operations of The NFL MIKE KENSIL. Who was a Long-term Employee of The NEW YORK JETS And who’s Father was a High ranking Executive also with The NEW YORK JETS and Whom Bill Belichick had “Supposedly Pissed off many years back”…

I’m upset at not knowing that Grigson worked for the Rams ’99-’03. But what do you think Belichick did to piss off Mike Kensil and his father? Some unknown reason? Did the Grumble Lord sleep with Mike’s mom? Or was there something more? #Spygate and again with the quotes.

Kensil and Troy Vincent (A Former Philadelphia Eagles Player (who The Patriots had beaten in the 2005 SUPER BOWL) Attended The AFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME And Colluded to enact a STING OPERATION where they would let The Patriots play the 1st half of the game then TEST The Footballs at Halftime. They went into The STING Believing The Patriots had and were Cheating and we’re just looking for The Reason to solidify their beliefs….

1. Vincent also played for Miami Dolphins… the conspiracy must go deeper!

2. Isn’t it just a little too convenient that two high-ranking NFL executives just happened to attend an AFC Championship. The email was dated noon the previous day how on earth did they get tickets to this event? This must be investigated.

3. This was such a deceptive sting operation. They first convinced the Patriots that they had to play a made-up game. Then had to search for the evidence afterwards rather than waste time and money on cheap hidden cameras.

When they tested the Cold, wet Footballs at Halftime and found 11/12 balls under the 12.5 minimum PSI LEVELS They believed they had “Their Smoking Gun” …Not Understanding or even knowing about “The Ideal Gas Law” and How Air Pressure goes down in Cold weather.

The Wells report made everyone an expert in physics. Look the science in the Wells report was off because the initial measurements were not even recorded and they had to make a basic assumption. Besides the smoking gun was not the physics of the balls it was the txt messages that dated back months that showed this was a common practice.

Kensil then contacted CHRIS MORTENSEN OF ESPN and leaked the “Deflate gate Story saying 11/12 Footballs were under inflated by 2 LBS…” EVEN THOUGH It was 2 PSI, Which is a MAJOR DIFFERENCE.

Or Mortenson is an idiot and tweeted wrong and can’t possibly admit to being wrong. Once again the NFL didn’t really rush to clear this up. The NFL not cleaning up a journalists mistake is equal to Brady not feeling the need to hand over his phone.

Once this entire Scandle was set in motion by (HARBAUGH/BISCIOTTI of The Ravens, GRIGSON/IRSAY of The Colts, KENSIL, former of The N.Y.JETS and VINCENT, former of The Eagles)…ROGER GOODELL Already reeling from The Disasters of The Ray Rice And Adrian Peterson Cases had No Choice but to Assist in “THE COVERUP OF THIS BOTCHED FRAME JOB” …He Hired TED WELLS (A Supposed independent investigator….Laughable) to Build a Report on Brady and #DeflateGate with No Actually Evidence and Got NFL IN-HOUSE LEGAL COUNSEL JEFFREY PASH TO EDIT WELL’S REPORT (Which was Supposedly independent?) …

I just have to say your missing Rodger Goodell also worked for the Jets. Also was the Adrian Peterson case a disaster? Besides your point about Jeffery Pash editing the Wells Report is the hint of truth in your conspiracy. That’s just bad form.


Yes. The grand conspiracy hinges on Tom Brady doing EXACTLY what the Patriots did? Once agin conveniently forgetting that the Patriots were deemed guilty of recording other teams defensive signals in order to get an unfair advantage. Not to mention texts messages that date back months and talk about deflating balls for multiple games  showing a history of bending and breaking rules in order ot get an unfair advantage.


Folks we have found Nat Turner!!!

Here’s the thing about conspiracy theories. They miss Occam’s Razor “the fewer assumptions that are made, the better”. Wells report was flawed and the Rodger doubled down on it. However, conspiracy theorists thrive on being the only person who can see the real issue at hand and everyone else is dumb. Conspiracy theories give the theorist power and they will latch on to that no matter what evidence you bring against them.

Funny thing is what can undo all of this is not Tom Brady’s  innocence being proven, but the court ruling on the technicality that the NFL cannot punish cheating, because players were never told they couldn’t do this. The rules about ball pressure etc. were only given to team coaches, executives, and other personnel.

*Edited Email addresses

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Moose -The End Is Well NighDarkest Timeline Zack MorrisDuchessLothar of the Hill PeopleWCS Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“President George W. Bush famously fought against the scientists entrenched in his administration. At many points they promoted evolution “theory” and “global warming” over good old-fashioned common sense. They tried to uproot Christianity in our schools through activist judges. And while President Bush fought the good fight, he ultimately did not win the battle. The long line of anti-theists ruling the inner halls of power since Lyndon Johnson remained in control.”

Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood

Hey – you found my tinfoil hat! Thanks!


Man you really worked your ass off doing all this investigating! I mean I’d be exhausted.. just flat out parched.

You know what really hits the spot when you’re parched, bro? A nice cool refreshing Bud Light.

Lothar of the Hill People
Lothar of the Hill People

That post’s in jeopardy, baby.


DFO reacts completely reasonably.

Roger Ramjet
Roger Ramjet

Just look into pretty boys eyes and say…”bad roger…such a bad roger”…..


I want to give a big shout-out to our fearless leader DTZM. I don’t know what voodoo magic you worked behind the scenes, but the site is loading A LOT faster now! Thank you!


I’d also like to express my fondness for that particular web administrator.

Covalent Blonde

Hear! Hear!

//I swear to god if this improvement cost money DTZM better send out a collection plate or I will mail him a horse head stuffed with cash

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Nope – just did some cleanup – thank Duchess as well – he gave me some great ideas!

Covalent Blonde

Did I take a sedative this morning or is DFO loading like five times faster than it ever has?

King Hippo



What the HELL is UP with ALL the CAPS in this thing? It’s not even noon on the east coast and I feel like this:

That’s me in black face brought to you by Old Spice

Covalent Blonde

I knew you looked familiar! I had no idea that you were the illustrious Raffi Torres of the SJ Sharks!

*formerly of the Canucks


True story: I tried to put together an image of Andy Reid wearing a ski mask to respond to that bacon delivery story with but it ended up just looking like Andy Reid in blackface.

King Hippo

Remember, if Frank Reynolds taught us nothing else, it’s all about using the right shade of shoe polish ,, no ofense

Enrico Pallazzo

I’m obvz #UpForWhatever but I really, REALLY want this stupid story and all Pats fans to die like Myra Kraft.


I Like his Random use of Capital letters In his Email


tHat is hoW ONE knoWs a per5on is speakIng the trUth to PowEr.

so aBout thOse cheMtraiLs and oBUMMER pOisoning mY precious fluiDs witjh meRkury…


Dear God,

Do you all hate me. How did I end up with PK as my avatar?

/slits wrist, then throat to ensure quick death


I think DTZM set it up that way to encourage people to upload their own unique avatar.

Covalent Blonde

Holy fuck, RTD! Welcome back. As you may have deduced…. some things changed while you were enjoying Mexico–which is my way of saying, “I hope you enjoyed Mexico!”

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Right on the nose, RTD.

Next week I’ll replace it with something worse.

Horatio Cornblower

/Fills bunker with thin mints.

Keep laughing assholes.

Covalent Blonde

But really, what? Maybe three boxes fit in your locker…. oh forgive me. “Bunker.”


“Conspiracy theories give the theorist power and they will latch on to that no matter what evidence you bring against them.”

Well said. Knowledge is power, but if all you want is power you can leverage, massage, or even make up the knowledge that will give you the power you seek. But false knowledge can only lead to real power if you can get others to share that false knowledge, which is usually done by waving a Gadsden flag, shouting “Heritage, not hate” loud and often enough, or continually posting “Thin mints are good.”

/dick joke

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

So your saying chem-trails are the ground-up particles of Thin Mints broken during manufacturing?



Yeah, I can buy that.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem



I wish this whole thing would go away just because everybody keeps missing the main point: The CBA allows Goodell to punish any player for tremendously vague reasons. He doesn’t need to prove Brady cheated. He can simply punish him for not cooperating.

If Pats fans really want to do something worthwhile, they should support the players in a strike until a new CBA is negotiated. I don’t think, however, that 1) the players have the balls to do that and 2 ) the fans would support them, specially Pats fans. YA SAHN A KANTRACT, YA KEEP YA WAHRD, YA GLAHRY BOY DAHRKIES!


Goodell has a lot of power as appellate arbitrator, but it is not unlimited. There are procedural limitations on what he can do. In the Adrian Peterson case, the NFL lost in court because Rog retroactively applied a new policy to AP’s punishment.

In the Brady case, he can lose because because he may have an interest in the outcome of the punishment, resulting in bias. Basically, Goodell can be a dictator, but he has to be disinterested and benign, which logically would seem impossible, since he is the employee of the NFL owners, thereby resulting in a built-in inherent bias.

Nerdy McButtpart has an in depth analysis over at SI if you want to see how Labor law works and how it is overly complicated and annoying.


I’m beginning to think Brady is not too smart for this exact reason. It’s no longer about the cheating, it’s all about the heavy handed punishment (or lack thereof) handed down by Goodell without any oversight.

If Brady had more foresight he’d rally some players behind him, but fans will cry out, “Uh guh but but but he’s a Gamer and a Competitor that’s why he chose to go it alone!”

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Nope, still about cheating.


Well, pretty soon it’ll be about how OBUMMER ruined the National Footbaw League and ‘Merica!