Oh boy, folks. It’s time to watch 10 crazy people yell at each other tonight.
Here is your list of lunatics, in descending order of poll results that don’t in any way matter yet:
The Donald
Jeb (Yep Another) Bush
Scott (Fuck the Poors) Walker
Ben (No Matter What He Says, He’s Somehow A Freaking Doctor) Carson
Mike (It’s So Bad That I’m Here) Huckabee
Ted (Yes, This Is My Dad’s Suit) Cruz
Rand (Sure, I Invented My Own Ophthalmology Certification Board) Paul
Marco (Where’s My Water) Rubio
Chris (Real Life Sopranos Governor) Christie
John (Who?) Kasich
Have at it, folks. We’ll be here all night to be just goddamned awful about these terrible people.
Also, some of these guys were very easy to find a ridiculous picture of (looking at you Ted Cruz) and some people, while they are lunatics, never take a dumb looking picture (Thanks Ben Carson. That’s 10 minutes I’ll never get back…).
‘When we come back…God!”
Please tell me He’s coming down to smite the entire hall.
I just saw all of PFTC’s debate tweets. AMAZEBALLS.
tell us what you’d do if Putin engaged in a campaign to destabilize the Baltics
well first of all I’d ask what Lithuania is
Estonier? I ‘ardly know ‘er!
“Ladies and gentlemen, this Quaker stands before you in praise of the U.S.S. Ohio-class nuclear missile submarine.
“This weapons platform is so inconceivably destructive that no state on earth would dare attack the U.S. in any way.
“The slightest hint of a major attack on U.S. interests would guarantee such violent retribution by the U.S. Ballistic Submarine Fleet that no sane human would dare provoke such a response.
“But they want you to be afraid of ghosts so here’s ISIS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”
They’ll be Quakering in fear of you, Sill.
/ducks tomatoes
He redid the national budget with pencil and paper?
I don’t think so. That wasn’t the national budget. That was the maze on an Applebee’s place mat.
AND HE STILL GOT LOST!!!
‘Sen. Paul, why do you now support foreign aid to Israel after having earlier voted to cut off all of their aid?”
“Because Jews have a shit-ton of money and they’re politically active Bret.”
And crazy Christians want me to support Israel so Revelations can come true.
Why do we have a military? To kill people and break shit!
“None of us can wait to restart the Cold War!”
“Or a hot war!!!”
Trump: These bozos couldn’t heat up a war if you gave them a flamethrower. Elect me president and Moscow will be nothing but smoldering ash by morning!
It’d be great if they asked these guys who’d they would vote for if they dropped out.
Ben is just throwing out words and phrases hoping it all comes together as something smart.
“What would you do differently?”
“BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH OBAMA BLAH BLAH OBAMA BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH FAILED POLICIES OF THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION BLAH BLAH BLAH CLINTON BLAH BLAH WEAKER THAN EVER BLAH BLAH I WILL DO BETTER.”
http://i.imgur.com/iYXSdar.jpg
Nuke em.
It’s the only way to be sure.
I’m pretty sure that is the Republican strategy, but they can’t explicitly say it.
Gotta nuke something.
http://media.giphy.com/media/kfLLKs0rFlLIk/giphy.gif
NWA ad followed by a VW diesel ad.
Guess the main demo’s been asleep for 45 minutes!
THIS IS THE GREATEST CIRCUS EVER!!!!!!!
So it this thing still on? Just finished watching the Yankees beat the Red Sox 2-1.
Also ESPNU is showing the 30-30 where the Jets took O’Brien instead of Marino.
Now if only the Twinkies weren’t completely useless!
Anyone else find it odd that an ad for Straight Outta Compton is airing both on Fox News and during the Republican debate? Talk about missing your target audience.
Did I just see a Straight Outta Compton ad on Fox News? Who thought that was going to appeal to their demographic?
Yeah, those advertising dollars were poorly spent
Trump spells “girl” with a “B”
Its about scary black people so they will twitter against it and boom Buzzfeed will make a list of best reactions to the SOC commercial on Fox. Then Uproxx will make a list of that list and say its their list.
Ok Kasich is going to get a bump after this tonight.
There’s still a half an hour left…
http://images.rapgenius.com/5b1d283816dcc6c73581510c9acd67e1.200x200x48.gif
I hold a strong religious belief that I should be able to smack all these people “upside the head”
“If your child was gay how would you feel?”
http://dc509.4shared.com/img/BL_kYtsg/s7/13eee4459e8/Dis_gon_b_gud.gif
That was actually not a bad answer.
“I thought we wanted to cool their hot island hearts with a fresh island song!”
http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/faqs/2012/mar/3_15_12_FreeHat.jpg
well I’m against gay marriage
well I’m willing to deploy federal troops to resist gay marriage
well I will GAY MARRY the idea of armed resistance to gay marriage
dammit huckabee you win this round
Wow Fox is hammering at Bloomberg
The audience at tonight’s debate:
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSkRWGD7SgOuYcj0R8Q9noMJX12iBfHVp_tODuRisVPgc8nWYfX
I think I’m done. I feel dirty for having watched this. I may take a shower now.
http://i.imgur.com/XcWM0Nq.gif
Bunnies!
Do you have a gif like that in chickens?
This is a perfect encapsulation about how most national-level Republicans feel about women.
Holy shit, I think Trump is channeling Dennis Miller. All he needs is a few more esoteric references and then to start calling the mods “Babe” and he’d have it down
Hey does anyone still have a good link for the legit FOX News stream? I keep trying to click on their video link and just getting a tiny video that starts and stops.
Reagan did not say “Trust but Verify” that was a Russian proverb.
Fides tamen quin.
It’s a 2,000 year old Latin saying.
Did they just cut to the other debate?
As a Republican I must say Republican women scare me.
http://i.imgur.com/PgTXYRU.gif
http://www.gifwave.com/media/691373_suspicious-compilation.gif
I hate myself for admitting I would hate-fuck the shit out of Megyn Kelly. Gotta recognize.
Andrea Tantaros is at the top of my Fox News women hate fuck list.
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/1312241/mjddiswank.gif
I like that Trump is turning into Tom Brady so gradually no one noticed.
“Hey, EVERYBODY’S doing it! I’m just taking advantage of the rules.”
Let’s go back to the regulatory environment of the 1920’s! That was a great American decade, and it ended well for everyone, right?
“I’m proud of this festering shithole I helped destroy!”
Trump has no fucks to give.
Is this where I find the glory hole?
OOoooo, Trump getting bitchy
I don’t know about you guys, but I know my pimp pays her taxes.
Why did I learn about economics? It’s bad enough when you just use common sense to evaluate the things politicians say about the economy. When you actually use research and established knowledge it’s so much worse.
Especially when a lot of modern economics (especially supply-side devotees) is, in practice, just enabling the super-rich.
“How do you answer to the fact that all of the ‘post-recession recovery’ you all speak of is the result a recession brought on by disastrous Republican fiscal policy to begin with?”
http://s1258.photobucket.com/user/Mongol_Magpie/media/crickets-humping.gif.
http://www.whatsleftofmyhead.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/crickets11.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/6Fw8qAr.jpg
Punch and Pie?
FREE HAT
LOFTY!
Dark days are indeed upon us when our would-be leaders start sounding like Peter King. MAYBE
http://40.media.tumblr.com/70513136479190a8a285f6b95cc8eafd/tumblr_ns2i4tbipI1qzn0kbo1_1280.png
“If I was trying to destroy this country, I would try to drive wedges between people, which is why you should blame progressives for all your problems!!!!”
How come Ted Cruz doesn’t refer to himself in third person as “The Cruise”? As in “The Cruise wants to pay for upper-class tax cuts by building a massive wall to keep illegal immigrants from taking American jobs. This is something The Cruise believes in very strongly.”
Even after sponsoring this thing, Facebook may still want to consider marking this whole debate as satire.