Oh look! It’s football again. I like football.
Falcons at Jets: A quick perusal of some fan sites informs me that the Jets have issues on the O-line, the D-line, at cornerback and probably in the bathroom line as well. Despite that they are a scorching one point favourite in this “tilt”.With a new coach comes new hope and everyone loves Bowles’ no-nonsenseness because that’s what this team needs right now. Aside from players with talent. Having players with talent would be good. Despite what you’ve read here and elsewhere Ryan Fitzpatrick is the King Of The Check Down in my mind and he’ll be spelled by Bryce Petty at some point. That some point is late in the second quarter since Bowles has stated that starters will play the majority of the half.
The Falcons are more than a little worried about their backup qb, TJ Yates. His play last week was “appallingly bad”, so bad that somebody called Sean Renfree had reps with the second team while Yates was told to “go fold some fucking towels or something”. Safe to say that if Matt Ryan goes down he’s taking the whole team with him. I guess that’s why he’s paid more in one contract than all of us (the stinking lawyers on this site excluded) will make in our combined lifetimes.
Seattle vs Kansas City: Your team might be good when your fan site’s biggest concern is how the new kid will do in the safety spot that Kam Chancellor has vacated while he waits for more money. They are a touch worried about the O-line but that has more to do with small injuries or some shuffling of positions. I don’t know exactly as I don’t like reading about successful teams that I don’t cheer for. A little side note: remember when the smartest guy in your fantasy draft took Michael Christine as his deep sleeper? Now he’s fighting for a roster spot/his life.
The Chiefs tailgaters apparently started many, many hours ago. I guess they like that sort of thing up (down?) that way. The Chiefs also have O-line worries and there is concern that Alex Smith, “a long-snapper disguised as a quarterback” may not get enough protection. I’ve never been a fan of Kniles Davis as a handcuff to JC and word is that Charcandrick “The Mouthful” West is making a run (get it?) at that role. Other players that impressed last week were Chase Daniels and wr Fred Williams. A lot of these tidbits will take a back seat to Andy Reid because he takes up so much room in the front seat. Because he’s fat. Very fat.
All in all what I’m trying so say is welcome, enjoy the football and for God’s sake-make some Andy Reid fat jokes!
Hippo, are you doing an early morning EPL post tomorrow?
http://31.media.tumblr.com/c12a6222305b6e88c848c4073e900ffa/tumblr_nayt7lCdSC1t1p06ao1_400.gif
Drinking Odell Oktoberfest. Pretty good if you like Marzen style.
yep, I just left it in the hopper.
Sweet!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b78ae0848e38ee8a30d2d2fdfbe9de46/tumblr_ndoss5UUsK1s2yegdo1_400.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8420372a00b0b8434255fd9d04921a30/tumblr_ndrk2nbIPe1r1olo7o1_1280.jpg
This is awesome
Not watching the game. Going to see Kelly Clarkson on Tuesday so rocking out to Piece By Piece.
That sounds…fun
http://media0.giphy.com/media/4pMX5rJ4PYAEM/giphy.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/0df6802a54d4e6bcee5d89cbed02c215/tumblr_ne1wn6DFMc1rn6i5go1_400.jpg
If it makes you feel better I am watching “How to Train You Dragon 2” for the 28th time. Stupid kids.
TJ Yates vs. Sean Renfree
Or
I’M A MINOR, STOP!
2nd stringers on the move.
So…the guy who wrote the song they played in the stadium after Chefs scores was written by a British pedarest (as they just ‘splained on the teevee for my amusement) and they are having a contest to replace it. How very Hee Haw.
I didn’t know Jared wrote songs.
“My greatest uncredited inspiration was Like A Virgin.”
– http://ww2.hdnux.com/photos/30/16/77/6352853/9/628×471.jpg
DANIELDOW…wait, what?
He’s trying to steal Smith’s job. It’s weird because I don’t think he’s a Mexican.
http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/fsyj.jpg
Jesus, even in preseason, Knile Davis is useless!
Gotta go true a bike wheel. I hope I make it back in time for the 3rd stringers!
Assuming you put on the spandex for that? And then go to Starbucks in the spandex when you are done?
I know a lot about cycling.
Yeah. And then I masturbate into somebody’s frappicino.
More like FAPpicino. Hahahah…
*cough*
TJ Yates vs. Sean Renfree
Or
Oh my, what a disastebacle!
Renfree was mostly a backup at Duke. At. Duke.
WHO IS SEAN RENFREE?
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS?
Finally, Friday night. And football, and beer, and football!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/dd5505c4a0d519fbf8bfea53d428f524/tumblr_n4gqjjLduA1sq4upyo4_250.gif
[bets on beer to win]
That’s a pretty damn safe bet.
What the? This belongs below sonofspamm
Everything belongs below me.
Beer’s over there:
http://38.media.tumblr.com/1ca3eaab95b0ecfea44f1f0af281bdc0/tumblr_msw64z9qGL1shznkyo1_500.gif
I should be drin-kin-yeah! Drin-kin-yeah!
Friday night SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE NFL.
AGREED.
{Smith heaves Hail Mary towards end zone]
“Smith? Really? Can we start calling it something else when he throws it? God damn it!”
-Mary
Hara-kiri?
Hey, don’t try to dump that shit on me.
– Satan
Best of luck Chiefs fans!
http://www.quotehd.com/imagequotes/authors3/george-bernard-shaw-dramatist-it-is-a-curious-sensation-the-sort-of.jpg
Hold up…
PRAY. FOR. OTTO.
Has anybody tried to direct message him?
Not with a bang…
Andy Reid’s coaching is in mid season form I see.
womp womp
hoo boy
A pre-season Alex Smith 2-minute drill is a sad, sad thing.
Alex Smith is a sad, sad thing.
There fixed it for ya.
verily, I used too many of teh words
It’s like he’s using a dentist’s drill.
I hear the reason Alex Smith has tiny hands is because his grandfather was the munchkin in Wizard of Oz that hung himself on set.
There’s the Alex Smith we all know and loathe.
Apparently, I can’t post a Vine video here.
https://twitter.com/NFL/status/634897814594588672
SMITH NEEDS TO MOVE THE CHAINS HERE!
[throws a 3 yard pass to the running back]
Alex Smith’s Potential: The Photograph As Metaphor
http://www.banterist.com/wp-content/uploads/mt/low-ceiling.jpg
No wideout TDs for Alex Smith last year? Nooooooo…
Alex Smith with the assist on the Bobby Wagner TD!
Ladies and gentlemen: Your 2015 Kansas City Chiefs!
He’s that player that always annoys the opposing team. So glad we don’t have to worry about him any more.
http://cdn2.hiphopsince1987.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/11855688-standard.jpg
A VERY SHORT INTERCEPTION on Alex Smith.
Well, if the O can’t score, the D might as well.
He throws the shortest pick sixes in the league!
Seahawks On The Bored!
Seahawks D now on the Bored TOO
Ladies and gentlemen, the last hope for the 2011 Texans: T.J. Yates!
Who’s this James Graham fellow on the Salt Water Birds? He seems like an above average player.
Sshhhhh…he’s a secret…
I’d ask if he played basketball, but, I mean, come on… this is Seattle we’re talking about.
http://images2.westword.com/imager/denvers-ten-best-nachos/u/original/6435896/nachos_fuck_yeah.jpg
OK, I laughed, but we don’t know what the rest of the portrait really is and the smile indicates something.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/fcc3fff73c8362ed9424ba4cde0198bd/tumblr_nd8jfbgvSq1rhhql5o1_250.jpg
Howdy howdy howdy, how’s everybody doing tonight?
Hey! Doing good…and you?
http://lovelace-media.imgix.net/uploads/638/d52f5fa0-7f31-0132-1d81-0a2c89e5f2f5.gif
Just getting home, and damn happy to have a little football on.
That’s a reference to “It’s Always Sunny In Anchorage”, right?
Uh, can’t remember. I thought it was Always Partially Cloudy In Saskatchewan?
It’s Always Middlin’ in Moosejaw
It’s Always Neutral In Witchita
Maybe?
Wait, wut?
http://i.imgur.com/58Wv0Xz.gifv
Seahawks win a challenge!
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2015/07/27/6357357309046047911364347160_chow%20chow%20beebenutz.gif
Holy fuckballs, TRENT GREEN is announcing this game. Waiting for him to take his pants off and start singing “I’m a little teapot.”
Wait, I do that.
http://i.imgur.com/edeY8cH.jpg
HOLY SHIT THE FREAK BROTHERS
I remember finding one of their comic books when I was like 8 or 9 and my mom whooped me for it. She was pretty skeezed I’d snuck it home.
Where is our brother of steel at?
http://41.media.tumblr.com/49fcea9e6a26a37c2084292630f67169/tumblr_mn0smtc4t81qhvxhko1_500.jpg
That is glorious!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/dfb81da0183c1b5f004eef46a905fef9/tumblr_n0e4udgvU51s3qzito4_250.gif
Ah, summer, still feels good.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/c7ede13e94495e2af3c44d770c334ee2/tumblr_nteap47H2p1s02vreo6_400.gif
This used to be a pretty entertaining AFCW divisional game. I always cheered for the Sea Chickens then, so sticking with that, in this pivotal practice contest.
Any one drinking?
So far, just the one oxy. Trying to save teh beer for second half so I don’t cancel out of the nap’s power.
Why bother even playing JC?
questionable (stigmata)
Because I have him in a keeper league and God hates me?
He’s on quite the roll with you this week.
“God has nothing to do with it.” [orders entire left hand side of the Chiefs offensive play menu, laughs maniacally]
-Andy Reid
Napped, caffeinated, and ready. Jest and Falcons replaying at midnight on NFLN for insomniacs and tweakers (and Aussies),
I won’t be able to start annoying everyone with Most Glorious Baseball Cardinals (Forward, Red Army! Da!!!) references until 10, fucking west coast trip.
Welp, hey! Look at that! You’re already off and running. It’s like you didn’t have to wait at all!
Hey, Andy Reid is…fat.
/I’m not good at this
I wonder if Andy’s high school ex-gf used to cut to this song. If so, is she ever getting her wish from Madam Karma…
That’s why we have practice.
I think LauraM too CMike last year, in the hopes that he would break out. He’ll likely make the team, but they may go with 4 RBs, so…
She did, robbing me of the chance to draft “The Strawberry Girl.” I nominated him using the Siouxsie Sioux moniker at auction, but was outbid.
Turns out, not a great sleeper at all, even in a deep keeper league. Great fucking name, though.
Falcons-Jets is still gonna be a woofer, and yet infinitely more watchable than Browns-Bills.
HOW
Fucking image embeds, man.
FUCK IT I GIVE UP I CANT REMEMBER HTML WHEN DRUNK
It’s enough for me that you’re drunk.
I ONLY CODE HTML WHEN I’M DRUNK
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/anchorman-i-dont-know-what.gif
Well, I only drink HTML.