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Bal @ Cle: 34% of the Ravens salary is on either the IR or PUP list. These folks include Flacco, Forsett, Smith Sr., Suggs, Perriman and Pitta. Needless to say, Baltimore wants a do-over for 2015. Sir Matthew of Schaubton gets the start tonight unlike the human self-destruct button that is QB Manziel. If you were a Ravens 4th round rookie RB (Buck Allen) getting his very first start and could pick any team to play against you would probably pick the Browns and their league-worst run defense. Something to say about Cleveland…hmm…well, Gruden in his game teaser on ESPN (that Tirico didn’t bother to show up for) says that he’s a BIG FAN of the SUPER SPEEDY Travis Benjamin. He may have been reaching.
Your “It’s Come To This” AFC North Debacle Open Thread
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There is no way I am keeping this game on come ‘Fargo’ time.
I appreciate the Browns 10-year plus “Major League” strategy to fail their way to a move to LA.
If you’re Buck Allen, are you happy that you scored a TD, or pissed that it happened in this game?
Ravens TD!!!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_wt_EG2EeSxo/RynRTuhnwoI/AAAAAAAAAcs/7QHkwk-GbWk/s320/crackwhore.jpg
This is about a BAJILLION more points being scored than I expected…
Jesus christ the browns suck, and I’m not gloating, but good god
Insurmountier lead?
For fuck’s sake, Cleveland.
jesus browns
Okay, here we go with a TD drive by Schaub. I almost typed that without laughing.
You spelled “sobbing uncontrollably” wrong.
3 plays later: TOUCHDOWN
Those people spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars to be there.
The lady in this vacuum cleaner commercial makes my pants tight.
I am old.
As long as it’s the lady and not the vacuum.
This is what krokodil can do to you kids. She’s 24.
Downtown Julie Brown >> Josh McCown the Brown
Oh, honey.
I think I played cards with the guy on the left at the Taj once.
Is he named after a city? Someone very wise once told me never to play poker with someone who has the same name as a city.*
/unless it’s Cleveland.
//fun fact I occasionally play poker with a guy who wrote for the Cleveland Show. He’s a pretty good player.
I only ever got one good poker nickname, and that was “Abacus”
Otherwise I’m just “the Girl”
If any of the guys in this GMC commercial were my friends, I would kill them, and then kill myself.
Now that was Browns football.
You think a loaded box is good, until you’re hip deep in it
Something Courtney Love something Hole.
Isn’t “loaded box” just another term for pregnancy?
I feel that now is as good of a time as ever to warn you that Ride Along 2 is coming soon.
http://i.imgur.com/qfOzGbm.gif
Man I love those guys. If I ever get an assignment in their state, I am going to track them down like I am a crazed stalker fan…
First McCown?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO
I felt bad typing it, but your reaction cracked me up.
GREGGGGGGGGG Easterbrook just wrote in his notebook, GAME OVER!!!
I wussed out and decided to take a bath instead of watch the game. Now I’m warm, soft, clean, relaxed and smell good. I can’t help but think watching the game would have caused me to be the opposite of all those things. This is probably the better outcome.
And is that dude’s name seriously Kaolin Clay? Isn’t Kaolin just a type of clay? His parents had a weird sense of humor. I bet he’s got a sister named Smectite.
Yeah, I took bath salts instead of watching the game too.
I thought you were the krokodil guy? Now I’m gonna have to redo all my Christmas drug shopping for you guys.
Something something daub and wattle.
For those who like word games/puzzles, my family turned me on to this free mobile game called Wordbrain. It’s like boggle, in a way. It’s simple and addictive. It’s guaranteed to be more fun than this football game.
I have a free game on my kindle called “Every Word”
I’ve spent hours on the damn thing.
My wife just brought me another glass of Buffalo Trace. Something is up.
Probably gonna want to check your credit card history in the morning, man.
RUUUUUUUUUUUUH ROOOOOOOOOOH!!
She wants you unconscious by halftime.
Sure, she may be fucking the mailman, but at least she feels bad about it.
She wants your man juice you sexy beast.
You may be dead by halftime.
Hey, if she’s gonna murder you, at least you’ll go out with a buzz on.
That first quarter was mercifully short!
So at this point we’re all just waiting for Fargo to start, right?
I have to watch that in the mornin’ doncha know. Wheels get to turnin upstairs, can’t sleep a wink! Sure hope that Milligan fella gets out of that pickle he’s in though!
I really am currently trying to weigh the cost/benefit of watching last night’s The Leftovers and then checking back in after halftime.
GRUDEN IS CONFUSED!
It hurt itself in its confusion!
IN OTHER NEWS, WATER STILL WET, TIRICO STILL COUNTING DOWN DAYS TIL CONTRACT RENEGOTIATION.
Ravens making McCown look positively mediocre.
“See? This is why I don’t want any more Browns here.”
– President-Elect Donald Trump
I think my brain has actively processed like 3 plays so far. Either a defense mechanism, it’s very full, or I’m having a stroke. If the latter, who wants to do Hippo Thoughts next week?
Lord Revisisle has dibs on selling my organs on the black market already, sorry.
Leave your drugs where I can find them.
In return, I will clear your browser history.
By the way, I really enjoy Hippo Thoughts.
DIBS ON YOUR OPIATE STASH
OK,fine…we’ll split it up while we look at all the fucked up shit in his browser history.
It’s a deal.
THIS RAVENS TEAM, I CALL THEM WADDED UP TOILET PAPER, BECAUSE THEY’RE IN THE TOILET WITH A BUNCH OF BROWNS
THAT’S RACI oh wait nevermind
Kobe sent me his next hit poem, you guys:
“This is just to say
I took the shot
you would have made
and which
would have made
our team
better
forgive me
I don’t care about you
this team
or consent”
Go Packers
Awesome. I don’t think we ever published WhyEaglesWhy’s version of this poem. We should do that.
How is it I never knew about Peyton’s sexual harassment suit until I saw it on Reddit today?
Excuse me what?
From Wikipedia:
“In 1996 while attending the University of Tennessee, it is alleged that Manning, while being examined by a female trainer, pulled down his shorts and sat on the trainer’s face. He proceeded to rub his rectum and testicles on the woman’s face until she was able to free herself from him.”
Where’s the harassment part?
I can’t believe this is the 1st I have heard about this.
In college Eli rubbed a balloon on a sweatshirt to make his hair stand up
Is that why he never won a championship at Tennessee?
(singing)
How to my balls taste to you?
Whoa.
Because he is white and was good at football?
Also because his father was also white and good at footba-HAHAHAHAAAA!!!!
Seriously, his pa sucked>.
It must be true! It was on Reddit!
AND WIKIPEDIA!!!1
I’m convinced. Hang the son of a bitch.
Anus rubbing? Maybe he was just sent marking.
Was Captain Cleveland fucking CRYING?!
Because he’s Captain Cleveland and not Captain Pyongyang or something.
If this game was on in May, would you watch it?
I’d be outdoors
In May, I would watch these jagoffs PRACTICE I am so strung out from withdrawal. FUCK MAY
I wouldn’t just watch it, I’d dissolve it in a spoon and inject it into my eyeballs.
Who is May?
Etihad: making Emirates look like Southwest since 2003.
“Hi, I’m Justin Tuck and I almost always kick wide right, so could you line me up with the right pole of the upright? I’d like to remove the suspense.”
If you were Justin Tuck you’d have two Super Bowl rings.
Tucker. Fucking iPad.
Shame you’d have no fingers left to wear them on.
“Hi, I’m Justin Tuck and I have DirectTV.”
“And I’m ‘aim just a little more to the left’ Justin Tuck and I’m a highly regarded NFL kicker.”
For some reason my Great Aunt cooked a 22 lb. turkey for eight people and somehow I ended up with all the leftovers. I just got done prepping four pans of turkey enchiladas for my freezer. And I wish it would’ve taken longer because now I have to watch this game. But at least I’ve got you twisted bastards!
HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN’!
Hello Brother how are you?
Still twisted here, you?
MY EYES HURT
Nice. She does sound pretty Great.
My Less than Average Aunt came to eat and didn’t help with dishes.
She really is the best. 87 years old and still works 30 hours a week helping manage the books for a small business for no other reason than she says she gets bored easy.
I don’t know what’s worse: Both QBs sucking or both defenses incapable of forcing turnovers out of said QBs.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3_znb5VYzWo/UP3xXOYezfI/AAAAAAAABP4/O2dtkdOv1Ys/s1600/eddy_paperthrow.gif
Don’t give up on Schaub, he’ll come through eventually.
The Ravens are only three years older than The Browns and yet they’ve drafted four Hall of Famers and countless Pro Bowl players. No wonder Cleveland fans hate them so much.
EVEN LESS SURMOUNTABLE LEAD
Schaub looking very Flacco-esque.
I love continuity.
Or, he could have drilled the ball at him at 1,000 mph, so it bounced off his shoulder pads into the hands of a defensive back.
But it wouldn’t be an ELITE ricochet.
Excrement
Schaub didn’t “deliver” as much as he “closed his eyes and heaved”
I thought a flex game was when all the players squeezed their ass muscles in unison on the sideline?
Are players that get drafted by Cleveland eligible for parole after two years, or do they have to serve out their entire rookie contract regardless of good behavior?
Josh Gordon chose exile.
I kind of want to redo that Mad Max photoshop of the Bartertown wheel so that one of the slots reads “Cleveland”.
SPIDER 2 Y BANANA DRINK!
oh dear gob
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