Well, somehow we made it. I’m so glad that we didn’t have to turn the car around due to bad behavior. Does everyone know which teams are playing? That’s what I thought. Between that and Hippo’s excellent breakdown of the game I’ve nothing to say about that end of things but I would like to share with you some “behind the scenes” tidbits about this very site that I think you might be interested in. I’m not going to name names…just yet.
Way back in 2007 the founder of this site, a grizzled, PTSD-wracked veteran of 3 tours of the second invasion of Iraq (anyone that has a beef with this version of events can take it up with me in the boardroom tomorrow morning) decided that there should be a new-ish football site. With a ton of moxy and just one good arm he created “Abandon Hope All Ye Football Fans That Enter”. That site was a disaster. I mean, it was right there in the title. Who the hell would want to join? Years later, after his extended recuperation at the St. Tunison Sanitarium For The Hopeless he decided to give it one more go.
It was a super-tough haul, putting this site together with nothing more than used scotch tape and pigeon feathers but he got the damn thing to work. But would Door Flies Open fly? A number of lawyers flocked to the site but it was immediately apparent that as a result, the site lacked “any sense of a moral compass”, according to internet pundits. At that point the site was opened up to almost everyone. Normal people came to the site in the dozens-including yours truly.
What followed was a ton of hard work. Night after night, huddled together in a dumpster underneath a single street lamp, we batted around the questions. “How can we take this site to the next level?” and “Is no one going to throw some pizza crusts in here?-I’m hungry!” and “Could you please not urinate on my pizza crust?”. We learned a lot about each other. Who knew that someone could be triggered by two exclamation marks but not one or three? And the hygiene, OH, THE PERSONAL HYGIENE!
So here we are now. We’ve morphed into a mid-major behemoth of a football-specific website that is bound to knock off a #2 or #3 ranked site as soon as we’re allowed back into the tourney. “Ongoing Pattern of Irregular Prescriptions”, my ass. The Internet is clearly out to get “The Little Site That Could”. We’ll survive and thrive…and maybe, just maybe, I can finally get that $12 Toys R Us coupon I was promised at the outset…
INAPPROPRIATE USE OF MICROSOFT SURFACE PRO TABLET: THE MICROSOFT SURFACE PRO, OFFICIAL TABLET COMPUTER OF THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE!
I’M GONNA DRINK SO MUCH BUDWEISER WHILE USING MY SURFACE!
Good News: This Godforsaken Season is Over.
Bad News:
http://2static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Untitled+that+finale+was+awesome+though_a112cb_5754549.png
her hair looks like raw bacon
Trust me, its been commented on.
http://pre15.deviantart.net/4685/th/pre/i/2013/307/6/f/sweet_and_savory_by_grendeleev-d6sy76m.jpg
WTF is this shit? I’ve got work in the morning!
What type of gangbang is this?
I hope Joe Namath kisses Roger Goodell.
Namath gonna drop that trophy.
I hope.
Joe’s trying to find the cork on that thing.
Nice
Vince Lombardi Trophy Relay!
Joe Namath is trying to figure out how to drink out of the Lombardi trophy.
Nice that TD gets to carry the trophy!
Never mind. Fuck you, Namath.
Does Peyton have to give a drug sample after the game?
Broncos fans, enjoy this prerecorded commercial to get you to buy stuff!
Another thoroughly unsatisfying ending.
Screw you guys, I’m going home.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/3039421/screw-you-guys-i-m-going-home-o.gif
Bad Prius commercial is…bad.
The time when cops start driving Prius is the time I stop pulling over for them.
They gave it to Von in the Pats game, too (when you know the media was REALLY dying to give it to PeyPey). Methinks he’s about to become the highest paid player in the footy world.
So, Miller gets MVP, right?
It’ll be PeyPey. Mark it.
If there’s an ounce of justice in the NFL, yes.
Sooooo….
Got to be Miller. Basically produced ten points on his own, not counting other sacks and pressures.
Denver’s defense won that in spite of Manning.
That’s the story of the season. Hide the offense, especially against the better defenses. Other than the pick (which was an AWFUL decision) I think it was more about the terrible OL and the Panthers’ excellent defense than anything else.
I think it’s time for a ’13 Bourbon County Stout.
I hope I don’t have to wait until my team wins a Super Bowl before I get to drink that.
“Carolina Panthers Win Super Bowl L!”
– Save The Children newsletter, probably.
this too
The 16-3 Panthers are the best 17-2 team I’ve ever seen.
insert third world kid meme with carolina championship tshirts here
They’ve got to be going to Africa, because the Shield doesn’t want to be blamed for bringing Zika into America.
The Cowboys are now undefeated.
Hippo wins the fake gambling contest. Moose wins the Prognosticating contest. Donks win the Super Bowl. I’d say you guys have had a hell of a year! Congratulations to you and make it snow, Moonbeam, and the rest of the Donks fans!
Goodnight, dear NFL season. Until the next time…
What about the Pro Bowl?
Already happened.
Um…. this is awkward…
This is the best argument against holding the Pro Bowl I’ve ever seen.
“…I’m gonna thank the man upstairs.”
Papa John?
Pat Bowlen nods in appreciation.
Congrats to King Hippo, make it snow, Moose, Moonbatting Average & co.
You bastards.
Hey Pey Pey’s got the Bud product placement.
Fuck you, Disney World
#UpForEndorsements
Peyton better not get the MVP.
It has to be Miller. Simms already started that and it kills me to agree with him.
I hope somebody kept the receipt for all of those Panthers Super Bowl hats.
Those kids in Africa are gonna look good in those hats and their Pats 19-0 tees.
Off-topic question: Should I keep my new name or switch back to mudisleblues?
Well, Chris Martin is already taken, so…
Go with your heart.
I like it, but when Wallace is out of the league next year, it might be kinda silly…
If Manning is gonna drink a lot of Budweiser, I really hopes he gets picked up on a DUI at 3am.
Budweiser mention, DRINK! Something else!
Peyton just made lots of Budweiser money.
Damn, Peyton is good at endorsments.
Jesus, that stat line
Not sure who you’re referring to, but yes.
Random Rashida pic I left open in a tab
http://25.media.tumblr.com/4aec6b2bac0a002c0e8fa9a0a5a26390/tumblr_mhxjnlX7Zx1s00ervo1_250.gif
Fuck her?
Would it kill Peyton to give a shout out to Osweiler for carrying the team through the middle of the season?
yes?
Congrats to King Hippo & make it snow & anyone I missed.
Moose.
Sorry Norman. Your offense blow it.
So, first year ksk is open, peyton manning wins a superbowl.
First year of dfo, Peyton Manning wins a superbowl.
A pattern emerges
Shit, I really hope we don’t have to migrate sites again.
Are you saying neither site should have been opened because of this curse?
Dear God, I can see the event horizon from here.
VH should have been played all night.
Was that Papa John?
Papa Ron.
Close though.
PEYTON KISSED PAPA JOHN
“Theirs was a love that could not be denied” IN THEATRES THIS SUMMER
Sorry about that folks.
At least Demarcus Ware gets a ring. Fuck you Wade, you could do this type of Defense for the Cowboys.
huh I really didn’t expect that
PAPA JOHN!?!?!!?
Just a peck on the cheek. The really hardcore stuff will be later
I actually kinda like Peyton. It sucks how he’s surrounded by a crowd of insufferable mouth breathers
Nah, he encourages that cult of personality.
Dude’s a narcissist, he can’t help himself.
Back to work. Law for the law gods.
Chin up. It’s not that hard.
Unless they changed it since ’94.
Fuck I am old.
Passing board exams sucks.