Yes, it’s not Presidents’ Day. A great holiday when a lazy ass Balls can wake up at the crack of 10 AM, throw some shorts on (never pants!), and get to the mall to catch the 10 AM showing of Deadpool expertly calculating the amount of time the stupid previews take in order to show up exactly just a minute before the actual movie starts!
No, that’s not the day today is/was. Today is the first day of the 140th Westminster Dog Show!
Today and tomorrow are the only days of the calendar year when the word “bitch” is NOT primarily used as a derogatory term for women (and sometimes men). Let us rejoice in that and enjoy the multiple double entendre and dick joke opportunities this day provides. Acting as Head Judge and presiding over the festivities this year is a Canadian evil mastermind named Meen.
The morning sessions are not televised and are held at Piers 92/94 in Manhattan. The evening sessions are held at Madison Square Garden and are on both CNBC (tonight) and USA Network (tomorrow). The Canada has coverage of both nights on Animal Planet. Here is the schedule:
MONDAY & TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 15-16, 2016 6PM-11PM
Doors open at 6 PM for best of breed benching area
- Monday to include Hound, Toy, Non-Sporting and Herding groups (beginning at 8 PM)
- Tuesday to include Junior Showmanship, Sporting, Working, Terrier groups and BEST IN SHOW (beginning at 7:30 PM)
Power up the jokes, dogs! (I’m sorry)
Stopped for a second for a pic break. Thinking going Beck, maybe obscure, maybe mainstream next
http://www.leral.net/photo/art/grande/8928574-14156100.jpg?v=1455119189
Weezer – Buddy Holly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4
And thanks to WCS for being awesome enough to embed for me tonight.
Blur – Song 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc18xt5wQnk
Gorillaz – Clint Eastwood
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UclCCFNG9q4
The Doors – Love Her Madly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrv7Hs7k7w8&list=PLe52M8z8EbA9nER5IAMBJZsWQYJouGbWo
Five to one, baby, one in five…
Until people show up again. I am turning this into my own music thread
Rolling Stones – Sympathy for the Devil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e5AIisWNvM4
http://45.media.tumblr.com/3acae108a002e731b62e8ce19608f301/tumblr_njasw0Mj3R1qc3ni5o2_250.gif
http://i.imgur.com/AKWb0H1.gif
I would say one more but everyone knows I am a god damn liar and not to be trusted…
One more Ashley Graham
http://getinfolist.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Ashley-Graham.jpg
damned* sorry, my constant typos tonight are bugging me. I forgot 2 words in an earlier comment.
You’re a goddamned liar and are not to be trusted.
Having said that…moar Ashley, plz.
Time to go soak and relax.
C’mon Ashley, the water be fine.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WPVQJZVKuZQ/UQL5g17uJPI/AAAAAAAAHuE/dMfzGgIje4I/s1600/69637bbd4a7767bc7c63a25f323ac66e.gif,
One more Ashley Graham
http://www.glamour.com/images/fashion/2015/03/ashley-graham-headshot-main.jpg
Sweet Jebus.
I had never heard of this Ashley Graham before today/yesterday/whatever some recent day was. One more
http://cdn01.dailycaller.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/ashley-graham-sub-600×800-e1455463966848.jpg
That’s some serious brisket.
Ashley Madison?
Never heard of it!
I would rather watch all of these purebred dogs gangbang each other and produce horrible mutant canines than listen to one more goddamn second of the Republican bullshit about the Supreme Court.
There are 9 Justices of the Supreme Court. One just died. The President nominates a replacement, you consider and approve or do not. You do not take your ball and go home. Fuck all of you.
Wooooo!!!!!
Dog Orgy!!!!!
And yeah, that other stuff too.
Dog Orgy
http://im.ziffdavisinternational.com/t/ign_in/review/i/its-always/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia-dee-made-a-smut-f_1g6g.640.jpg
Frank the artiste.
I’m not sure if Dog Orgy or Mutant Canines is a better band name.
Holy shit does Rhea Seahorn look waaayyy better as herself than as Kim.
Yes
I guess @ horatio I have had 2 Goldens, one of the worst victims of puppy mills, both from responsible breeders, but still had seizures. My last my other pup was a German Rottweiler pound puppy that was my sisters dog, then my moms when she moved, then half mine because she was always gone. My second golden is still alive so I shouldn’t talk about him in the past tense
dude the day I talk shit about someone else’s dog is the day I stop drinking good beer.
He or she is your dog. Love it, hug it, enjoy it.
I in no meant it any offensive way, just saying I had a couple dogs that were purebred, I wasn’t there til my new one was 5, it used to be my almost step siblings dog but they and my almost stepmother are heartless so they didn’t even try to take him when they left. I adopted late
My parents had a purebred gold for 11+ years. Great dog.
ADOPT A MUTT!!! GET A RESCUE DOG!!!! PUREBREEDERS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE STOPPED!!!
I fine with responsible breeders, puppy mill operators need to die in a gristle fire.
YES!!! MY YELLING WAS AT PUPPY MILLS!! NOT RESPONSIBLE BREEDERS!! I AM DRUNK!!! ARGLE BARLGEL!!!
If I had the apartment/work schedule I would already have a dog, or 2.
I’m surprised that first dog’s name wasn’t Duchess.
TEH SHEPHERD WINS!!!!! GUESS WHO’S GETTING LAID TONIGHT!?!?!?!?!?
WOOOOOO!!!!
Not the handler that’s for goddamn sure.
I’m a little concerned that we’re rooting for a genetically inferior being to get victory sex.
I’m also worried about the dog.
Look at those sloping hips on that German Shepherd! You don’t get degenerative hips this early in life without DECADES of inbreeding folks! That dog will be an arthritic cripple before it’s 8 but goddamn if it doesn’t look good now!”
I want a verdict on this. My mom has a foreign exchange student who is 18 that I normally try to politely dismiss because she is 18 and I am 32. But I failed today when I got asked to pick her up, like 20 min of overt flirting both ways. Contributing facts to this story I am sure she has a crush on me, she is a hot nerdy Asian woman, I am lonely.
Yeah that might happen occasionally or Creepy old man, never do that again?
She is a legal adult that can make her own decisions. If she wants you, that’s what she wants.
I didn’t know the Penthouse Forum was still a thing….
Wear a condom and bang her.
I am at the point in the night where I have the morals of an alley cat and my wife is holding a can of mace as though it were Excalibur and she was the Lady of the Lake, so take my advice for what it’s worth.
But again, if it’s consensual, it’s better to regret what you have done that what you haven’t done.
/CONDOMS!
Dude….card her, and if it’s all good, then we’ll all kill you if you don’t close the deal.
There’s your damn verdict.
“The Bearded Collie, Olivia Munn! I mean Tank!”
Somebody better shit on the floor here.
Canine or human, I’m OK with either.
Please be the Corgi!
I got that covered.
We ended with a Swedish herding dog that ate rodents? The fuck? If I wanted to watch Swedes eat rodent I’d masturbate to ‘The Vikings’!
The German Shepherd had better win or I’ll never hear the end of it.
– Hitler, 1939
Good thing he lost to Jesse Owens.
For the record I am hammered and will not be held responsible for the HORRIBLE comments I am about to make about racial and gender roles based on canine over-breeding.
It’s the alcohol making the bourble, not me.
LOVE IT!
http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/comment/gif-puppy-nazi-1433696.jpeg
dammit
WHEEEE!!
All. Day. Long.
Ah yes, a dog inspired by the Magyar migration, as if you needed a dog that could walk three blocks and then collapse and blame it all on the Roma.
The Polish Lowland Sheepdog is a dog of considerable ability…
if you need a bunch of “undesirables” herded into a “camp”
I’m so glad I was not drinking a beverage when I read that.
IT’S THE CORGIS MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!
I bet they’ll blow you away.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/0ad843e50e2fe3e3eab5fa85ecef6af6/tumblr_mv5jooPgpM1stgzx6o1_250.gif
It’s Corgi time!
http://s3.amazonaws.com/citybuzz/2014/04/maine-understand/maine-stereotypes-1.gif
Hehehe….Kim has caught the fever. Jimmy, you bad boy.
@Unsurprised The “Plus sized” model on their cover this year. I was extremely lazy and didn’t find the sexier pic I have seen before.
http://stylishcurves.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/3c0591a3deab975c1039d36a62b3f58608cdd54d.jpg
Nothing wrong with a few curves:
http://www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/multimedia/archive/00423/114573826__423141b.jpg
Whatever lard ass
She looks like she’s probably a US 10 or thereabouts, so large for a model, but not actually plus size.
That’s why they caught shit for saying she was “plus-sized.”
Who cares? She’s hot.
Did he just say….”Deathbed Queef”….?
I love their earlier work, was my favorite ’80s girl group.
The SI swimsuit issue is still valuable.
http://cdn-jpg.si.com/sites/default/files/styles/si_gallery_slide/public/swimsuit/web/hannah-ferguson/2016/hannah-ferguson-2016-photo-sports-illustrated-x160011_tk3_3126-rawwmfinal1920.jpg
Oh well. Back to work.
Gritty.
Best in Show….no doubt.
Great breeding….at I presume it would be.
*least
/fuck you omitted words
The Bergamasco, AKA the canine Rastafarian.
http://www.loyalanimals.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/01160.jpg
I can’t see Better Call Saul until at least next week. So I should probably leave.
I won’t say anything. My breaks will be either looking for US womans soccer pics or… well mostly the first one. No spoilers.
Nah….we can be spoiler free.
OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT?????
Holy shit.
http://imgur.com/gallery/PkXnNIz
Paging Dr. Zymm…
http://usatthebiglead.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/falcons-girl-grabs-boyfriends-junk-during-tampa-bay-game-b.gif?w=640&h=494
But can she legally be “up for anything”?
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Nickasinsaltlick/bh.bmp
Mike is awesome.
PLAYUH
OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Wolfman Rob approved.
Lucifer. Oh my god.
I’ll just say he’s shoehorned into solving a crime on each program, like a young Lennie Briscoe.
The world’s heaviest recorded dog was a 343 lb English mastiff.
http://media.mnn.com/assets/images/2015/06/largest-dogs-mastiff-puny.jpg
Stick a midget between them for the trifecta.
Reading through the older comments, I’m reminded of a line from Syriana. Matt Damon is talking to someone back at his Swiss office about how someone at the Arab summit he’s at in Beirut called the city the Paris of the Middle East, to which he adds, “That’s like winning the NIT.”
/tears flow, cannot see Saul
Nor can I.
Hey you guys teh herding group iz next!!!!
I’m quite happy with my new dog walking service.
That is one fine looking canine you got there.
/totally impressed
Weird. This one has a different face.
Oh, wait. No she doesn’t.
I’d fuck it.
Drugs are bad…
http://24.media.tumblr.com/dc63094b8c2915d942c758f3005f1761/tumblr_mjqogjIO231qdlh1io1_400.gif
Didn’t last season start in a depressing Cinnabon flashback? Am I in the wrong year again?
Yes.
He’s a shell of his former self.
Aren’t we all.
Shoulda hit that emergency door…fuck alarms and shit.
Between events at the Washington International Horse Show they have terrier races. These things are fantastic and they should give strong consideration to them as a half time show for the next Super Bowl.
http://www.jenniferwoodmedia.com/sites/default/files/images/Terrier400px.jpg
Happiness personified.
Or…caninified, I guess.
Still great either way.
That’s not a high bar.
If that tail stays like that for over four hours, better see the vet.
Banner quote material right there.
Heeeyyyyy!!!! New XFiles on the DVR. I completely spaced on that being on tonight. Wooo!!!!
Deadwood likely survives an additional night!!!!!