Your “The Draft is Four Weeks Today!” Thursday Open Thread

Even though we are, as Commentist Don T said, looking for proof that “the offseason is not an eternal state”, we are being treated to some excellent end-of-season drives in other sports. It’s not football, but it should keep the interest of most casual, or Boston, sports fans in the 28 days leading up to the NFL draft. Kaep staying with the Niners is not news, but surrender on all sides.

Hockey:

NHL:

The NHL is in the home stretch, with 5 games remaining for most teams. While the big news is that no Canadian teams will be in the playoffs for the first time since forever, there are plenty of factors to keep things interesting. Here are the matchups if things started today:

West:                                                     East:

  • Minnesota @ Dallas                          NY Islanders @ Tampa
  • Chicago @ St. Louis                          Boston @ Florida
  • Nashville @ Anaheim                        Philadelphia @ Washington
  • San Jose @ LA Kings                        Pittsburgh @ NY Rangers

That’s some good hockey right there. Plenty of speed, scoring, and hate to make the first round a must-watch. If you watched the Flyers-Caps game last night, just picture 7 games of that. The only remaining contenders for a wild card spot are Colorado in the West and Detroit in the East. Otherwise, it’s all about positioning and home games at this stage of the season.

College:

The “Frozen Four” will be played in Tampa (?!) this year on April 7 & 9. The semis are:

  • Boston College Eagles vs Quinnipiac Bobcats
  • Denver Pioneers vs North Dakota Fighting Hawks

Gotta say, I’d be rooting for an Eagles – Hawks final, if only to read barstoolsports after BC loses. A HAWK IS A LESSAH BAHD!

Basketball:

College:

The Final Four is this weekend, for both the men and women. The men are Saturday/Monday; the women are Sunday/Tuesday. (Starting next year, the women will be Friday/Sunday.) They both hold equal promise to be really good or really bad.

NBA:

The NBA is down to 7-8 games remaining. The West is a runaway for both Golden State and San Antonio, who still play each other twice more before the end of the season. The drama will be around if the Warriors can get to 73 wins, and if the Spurs will try and stop them or rest up for the probable Conference Finals in June. Playoff spots 5-8 are also up for grabs, with 6 teams in contention for those four spots. Like the West, the East has three tiers: the Cavs & Raptors as the top-2; seeds 3-6 in flux; and four teams in contention for the 7 & 8 spots. The Finals should be another Cavs-Warriors matchup, but it could easily be the Spurs or Raptors spoiling those plans.

With that in mind, let’s go down to the field. Goose?

NHL: (10 games scheduled)

  • Rangers @ Hurricanes – 7:00
  • Predators @ Penguins – 7:00
  • Coyotes @ Stars – 8:30

NBA: (6 games total)

  • Bulls @ Rockets – 7:00
  • Clippers @ Thunder – 9:30
  • Celtics @ trail Blazers – 10:00

Ronnie Corbett died today. I grew up watching “The Two Ronnies” on Canadian TV in the 1970s, so it’s a bit like losing a Python. They weren’t as risque, obviously, but it still worked as British humour. Here’s one of their more famous bits.

https://youtu.be/Cz2-ukrd2VQ

I guess death can be fatal.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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King Hippo

1,000 showers…never be clean

King Hippo

This is your nightly dose of national goddamned treasure Hope Sandoval.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Chan Marshall can’t even look at you right now.

King Hippo

To have a southeastern and a southwestern, clearly unattainable muse.

Chan would appreciate how drunk I am.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just stay away from Bullock Horse, ya prevert.
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King Hippo

ah, Steve the horse fucker. WHAT A TEEVEE SHOW THAT WAS

Don T

Bigger dick move: firing someone on Christmas Eve, or on April Fools? I say April Fools.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dude was lazy anyway.

King Hippo

While fucking their wife.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What, he can’t take a joke?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do what a lot of companies do; rob the pension fund, THEN fire them.

Don T

Now THAT’s entrepreneurship.

God damn that’s a lot of e’s.

Don T

Thanks for the shoutout Rob ??

And just for no reason, ?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just want to say: fuck allergies

theeWeeBabySeamus

Your immune system is doing the best it can with the tools it was given.
(but yeah, I always cringe when I see the pollen blowing around like a miniature snowstorm, as it is here now)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My car has a yellow tint at the moment.

It’s blue.

WCS

lionel hutz shudder got gif

King Hippo

I sure enjoyed the 10 days of pleasant North Cakalaky weather before the pollen hit. That’s 9 more days of Prague Spring than usual FFS.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

(Sigh)
As hard as it was to find Ed Edd n Eddy gifs, finding Maison Ikkoku gifs are a 1000000x harder.
http://data.whicdn.com/images/44756902/original.gif

Senor Weaselo

You should be working harder, or kicking your feet faster!
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/edwikia/images/5/5d/CruiseLiner.jpg

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Just keep kicking, just keep kicking…
Edd: Ahem, wrong cartoon DBMW.

Senor Weaselo
King Hippo

Baskets is the best show on teevee, non-The Americans varietal. FWIW.

“Chips, don;t be sad. You’re not that kind of cloon.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve been meaning to binge Baskets. But I gotta admit that Louie Anderson in drag has me more than a little skeert.

King Hippo

You forget he’s not actually a middle-aged put out single mom. Serious. He sells it THAT WELL. He’s hilarious, but also poignant, and none of it is campy. It just has to be seen to be believed. He might be the best part of the show.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I honestly thought he was dead before he popped up in this role.
I’m not even kidding.

Senor Weaselo

We all do, then he pops into something.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QMJousotj0

WCS

WOOOOOO!! PAINKILLERS!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn….Ray be fast and shit.

King Hippo

I got a feeling they gon’ cut the Juice loose on Tuesday!!!

/raises fist

theeWeeBabySeamus

The hunt for da reel killa…RESUMES!!!!

King Hippo

I always wondered about Eric Dickerson. Did anyone check his alibi? Or John Riggins?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Riggins has that “white guy serial killer” look, fo’ sho’.

King Hippo

He killed so much of my childhood. Charlotte, NC being [*Redacted] s TV market pre-RedZone era, my hairy white ass.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“No, you all took it for granted.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep…that might become a thing.

King Hippo

I am LIKING this red wine/vicuprofen/Archer/April Fools Eve combo

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Actually, the entire cast is perfect, even the one time characters.
http://i.imgur.com/1s29WT2.jpg

Sill Bimmons

HOLY FUCK JAGR I MEAN HOLY FUCK

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay, Ray still has his black bionic hand.

rockingdog

Just like that lady in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida? I saw an article earlier this year about it….

King Hippo

I bet he always spanks it with that hand. You know, once you go black…

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Have I mentioned how much I love Chris Parnell? Because I really do.

King Hippo

He is a goddamned voice legend on the level of H. Jon Benjamin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.
And he wasn’t bad at the sketch comedy.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

He’s Bizarro Fallon.

King Hippo

Is Fallon dead yet? If not, can the DFO Cali branch kill him as their next outing?

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude

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rockingdog

just found old episodes of Freaks and Geeks on youtube. i’ve never seen this before, but I hear its good. You guys agree?

King Hippo

heard same, but never saw it

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think it’s solid. I watched it on the Netflix two years or so ago. I have a massive crush on Linda Cardanelli.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace

(Changes to FX channel)
Aw shit, Ride Along is on. That’s ok, I’ll just watch this while waiting for AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. But that IS a pretty fine Nubian goddess there.

Defensive Back Mike Wallace
King Hippo

I was trying to think of a dumber possible Archer lead-in. “Ernest Goes to Camp?”

Senor Weaselo

Ow, My Balls?

Senor Weaselo

I stand by what I said yesterday where the 4th place team in the Metro’s got the cleanest path to the ECF. What I’m saying is, this is exactly as planned and not the Ice Giants derping the shit out of clinching a playoff spot.

Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

The Ice Skyhawks hooked a Yinzer up, yo.

WCS

For Redshirt:

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Unsurprised

Well, fuck. Now Archer’s ruined forever for me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Unsurprised

I’m so psyched to be broke after paying my April bills and it’s not even the first.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s why you pay your April bills on April 30th dummy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You misspelled “June”.

Unsurprised

I had a nightmare last night about that and I’m never going to be like my mother with that shit.

Sill Bimmons

Shenanigans at the Confluence…

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit, Rangers.

King Hippo

Can the Ice Stillers still get home ice advantage for their inevitable 1st round series loss to the Ice Giants?

Senor Weaselo

As of this second the Ice Giants are up a point. Ice Giants are now losing to the Ice Panthers, Ice Stillers are up on the Ice Tennessees.

Sill Bimmons
theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that Nutrisystem? Are trying to trick us all again into not being fat slobs?

theeWeeBabySeamus

*you
(and I don’t see no damned edit button even with hovering…I’ve been lied to again)

laserguru

I just now found it. It’s just barely right of the time stamp on the comment.
Nice!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Must be a permissions thingy.
Damn you bottom of the totem pole…once again you smite me.
/don’t trust whitey

Sill Bimmons

Nope, it’s what we drink when the smoothie bar is closed.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anybody else binge watching old episodes of Archer before the season premiere?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, just finished up this afternoon in fact. Did All six seasons over the past two months.
(oh and…evening everyone)
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King Hippo

I just realized I have no non-wine booze in the house. My back hurts like a mofo from yesterday’s STRAIGHT SETS tennis loss, so I took an extra v-profen and hope that SMA would forgive me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Kroger still open. Just saying.

King Hippo

I opened the organic red. Mixes well with opiates, in a non-Heath Ledger way.

Unsurprised

Season six doesn’t hold up, but Archer Vice is a blast.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like all of them. I appreciate each season, and even each episode, more and more with each viewing. So much dialogue going on that I always find that I’ve missed and/or forgotten something.
But yeah, the four Kriegers in San Marcos is the shit.

litre_cola

It seems today that the brutal media up here has come to announce that the world is ending and there is no teams from Canadia in the ice football super bowl. I mean main news, all the talking heads on our sports media and everywhere.

So what’s happenin down there?

King Hippo

Donald Trump? Still an asshole!

Sill Bimmons

I guess that’s “asshoule” to those people.

Sill Bimmons

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King Hippo

George Washington is officially #69. The 1st President chuckles like a schoolboy in his grave.

Senor Weaselo
WCS

He’d also be wondering why the Negroes were permitted to intermingle with the whites.

Unsurprised

Colonial preverts

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come on, wife, hurry up and get home! It’s time for steak and, uh, champagne.

Sill Bimmons

This is the Bentley Bentayga:

http://icdn2.digitaltrends.com/image/bentley-bentayga-front-three-quarter-static-2-1500×1000.jpg

Base price: $230,000

This is the Breitling Mulliner Tourbillon Clock available as an option on the Bentley Bentayga:

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d4SrQCLft_U/VfvmpWICIUI/AAAAAAABANQ/pKHJEmeW1cA/s1600/Mulliner-Tourbillon-by-Breitling-clock-0.jpg

Option price: $150,000

This is the 21st century version of Versailles.

Senor Weaselo

For $380K, I’ll take an NSX, a GT-R, and a WRX and own 7-year old Senor’s dream garage. And today Senor’s dream garage, for that matter. And if there’s money left over (probably not, because we’re getting the top-tier stuff with this imaginary money), a zamboni.

King Hippo

I would go on a nice vacation and buy SO MANY DRUGS

Senor Weaselo

I would actually spend that money on a hell of a violin and bow(s), but it was already earmarked for cars, so that’s what I’d get for that kind of car money.

King Hippo

Hmmm, then a series of Audi A6s for me, probably. I do enjoy the fuck out of that car.

Senor Weaselo
King Hippo

Or fuck, what about Ochocinco’s CARBOAT??

Sill Bimmons

E30 M3
E92 M3
E28 M5
E60 M5
E36 Z4M
E31 850i w/S70 V12

Unsurprised

It’s only a matter of time before this happens to me.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/i6tD06UktnlTxJfoNVmI_g/47237/472368223/101183.jpg

King Hippo

You’d be surprised at how few people who threaten restraining orders actually get around to doing so.

Unsurprised

Good to know.

Senor Weaselo

Woo friendly neighborhood Kreiderman

Sill Bimmons

horny woooo

King Hippo

I am now at that crucial point of the night where I have to decide if I am to keep my eyeballs pried open to see Archer live.

April Fool’s Day is a holiday one can legitimately skip work for, right?

Senor Weaselo

I have to deal with children after school. I am fearing the shit they’re going to try and pull.

Unsurprised

You need to instill the fear of God in them that pranks are stupid and people who pull them are bad and must be ended.

Senor Weaselo

They do already know that if my violin gets damaged the penalty is death.

Unsurprised

Insufficient.

Sill Bimmons

That can be your joke!

I’ll bet they laugh and laugh…

King Hippo

Technically, as a partner I don’t have a boss and can work from home as Frau Doktor is. So I will be playing hooky on myself (but I do eventually need to make the hours).

UNLESS THE WORLD ENDS THEN WOO!!!!!!! EAT IT, SUCKERS!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Way to fight The Man! That’ll show you…

Doktor Zymm

I’m working from home tomorrow. I’m kind of torn, I actually have some neat stuff to do right now, but it’s also the sort of thing that’ll wait until Monday when I have to be in the office.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I cannot wait for another Kings/Sharks series.

“We feel the same way about another Kings/Blades matchup.”

– French Peasantry

/is aware that the “Blades” are not an actual hockey team.

Sill Bimmons

The last execution by guillotine in France was in 1977.

The last public execution by guillotine in France was in 1939.

http://rarehistoricalphotos.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Last-public-execution-by-guillotine-France-1939.jpg

King Hippo

In my opinion, if you aren’t willing to let peeps see it, you ought not be doing it.

/would TOTES watch

Sill Bimmons

They say that the heads would try to talk but no sound would come out.

King Hippo

Morbidly fucking fascinating.

Unsurprised

I need to get Hulu or something. I’m missing The Americans and Archer and Better Call Saul.

Sill Bimmons

tanger woo

Senor Weaselo

Evening everyone. After work I had Five Guys, and then they were giving out free alcoholic root beer floats, so I’m in a good mood. And my alma mater made the news! …But for the wrong reasons.

Senor Weaselo

Which part?

Senor Weaselo

Some students interrupted a Hillary rally and then walked out. In fairness, we’d* protest anything, and then protest the protest just for the sake of it.

/Not me personally, people who care about those sorts of things

Sill Bimmons

Five Guys is fantastic.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I can attest.
I love it when I have Five Guys, though I rarely have Five Guys anymore because it clogs me up.
http://www.desipio.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/archer-phrasing.jpg

WCS

That is glorious.

WCS

phat phil woooo

Redshirt

It just dawned on me why the ’85 Bears only won one Super Bowl after murderdeathkilling the 1985 season. Fridge scored a TD in a Super Bowl but Walter Payton didn’t.

The Football Gods vengeance has been merciless and justified.

Sill Bimmons

First the Cubs, now the Bears.

My advice? Steer clear of Chicago teams with ursine mascots.

Redshirt

So according to sports radio, the Reds have their Opening Day Starting Picture known, their Opening Night (Game #2) Starting Picture known, and after that may not have three pictures healthy to start.

Am I forever doomed to being disappointed by sports? Is that my role in life?

Redshirt

They’re going to start “Ghostbusters II” in Game 1 and “Mad City” in Game 2. They also have pitchers too.

Doktor Zymm

The picture I most associate with the baseball season is Edvard Munch’s “The Scream”

Covalent Blonde

Too much action

King Hippo

Nothing makes for better “get ready for goddamned el beisbol season” background teevee than an NIT final.

WhyEaglesWhy

I cannot wait for another Kings/Sharks series.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was gonna make a joke about some deposed monarch being fed to sharks, but that doesn’t seem to have happened anytime in history, so if you’re planning a coup and you want it to be memorable, you know, door’s open.

Doktor Zymm

Too bad they aren’t called the Emperors. Then you could make a Shark Fin Soup joke.

Covalent Blonde

We (because obviously I am a contributing member of the Sharks–probably equally so to when Raffi Torres was a member now that I think about it) have more than a tiny axe to grind after our last post-season run around with the Kings.

Time to invest in some voodoo and chickens to slaughter to make it less depressing than last time.

Doktor Zymm

How about an Aussie PM? Harold Holt very well might have been at least partially eaten by sharks.

Sill Bimmons

Death is indeed usually fatal.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WOO HOO! Taxes are done! I’m celebrating with champagne and steak.

King Hippo

WOO!!!!!!

DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT
DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT
DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT DRAFT

/I give the square root of fuckall about the NBA in general and each of those ice footbaw playoff matchups. Boring. As. Fuck.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

And now for your good news update of the day:

ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT ARCHER SEASON 7 PREMIERES TONIGHT

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/jazz_hands_archer.gif

Redshirt

Confession:

I’ve never seen a single episode of Archer. I don’t even know what its about.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You really should rectify that immediately.

laserguru

We share a commonality.

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