74 Days Until the Hall of Fame Game
NFL Notes:
- multiple sites are reporting Vikings defensive lineman B.J. Dubose tore his ACL during one of the team’s OTAs. He is reportedly done for the season.
- Adam Schefter is tweeting that Walter Thurmond has chosen to retire. Feel free to find his twitter to confirm.
- nfl.com reports the Pro Bowl has been moved to Orlando for 2017 and beyond, in a multi-year deal that will likely tie in ESPN and Disney. If it results in Vontaze Burfict beating up the “It’s A Small World” ride, then I’m all for it.
- over at Florio’s Fantastical Wordfarts:
- the mayor of Las Vegas accurately observes that the NFL doesn’t have a problem with casinos, just governments that won’t play ball and pony up the stadium monies.
- still on Vegas, word is it’s the Giants, Bears & Browns that are the hard “no”‘s on any franchise there, with the Rooney’s a soft “no” because it would seem hypocritical for a family tied into horse tracks & slot machines to clutch at their pearls over a Vegas franchise.
- If you hate the Steelers, read this story.
- meanwhile, the prison word salad that is MMQB reports on:
- Greg Hardy is likely to end up in Atlanta, Detroit or Oakland, teams who believe they are 1-2 pieces away from winning their division and are desperate enough for that to take a one-year chance on such a toxic individual.
- Power Rankings! The earliest are usually the most accurate!
Here are the viewing numbers for last night:
- NBA: 11.2 – 15.8 million viewers
- NHL: 2.7 – 3.8 million viewers
According to the geniuses at Sports Media Watch, the NHL got murdered in every way possible. It was the lowest-rated opener in 4 years, despite being on a big-4 network in primetime. The OKC-GSW game started during the first intermission, so some viewers who saw Pittsburgh jump out to the 2-0 lead felt they could change, When Nick Bonino scored the game winner with less than 3 minutes to go, Game 7 was just starting the 4th quarter – and the NBA ratings peaked just after 11:00 – during that 11:15-11:30 period at 13.8, or 19.5 million viewers. Nielsen numbers show 30% of Bay-area households were tuned into the game; even the TNT postgame show drew a rating of 4.8, or 6.75 million viewers.
For TNT, it was the third-highest rated non-football sporting event of all time:
That’ll be good for setting ad rates for 2016-17.
Fortunately for the NHL, the NBA set its Finals schedule to run on opposite nights from the Cup, so there won’t be any competition for viewers. But there really isn’t. It’s just one more reason that NHL expansion has been pushed back to 2018 at the earliest.
Finals schedules: (* = if necessary)
NHL: Monday, Wednesday, Saturday, Monday, Thursday*, Sunday*, Wednesday*
NBA: Thursday, Sunday, Wednesday, Friday, Monday*, Thursday*, Sunday*
Tuesday night’s alternative programming:
A&E – Roots: (also available in Canada)
- Episode 1: 6:45
- Episode 2: 9:00
Sundance – The Blues Brothers – 7:00
Tonight, we enter the darkest timeline for one evening, as we get a glimpse of what it’s like with “just” baseball to entertain us:
That’s right Troy. But it’s only one night. Abed?
DAMMIT!
Well then – stealing inspiration from our forefathers, tonight’s mock draft –
Holy shit, are we still on the first page?
It’s time for our favorite game: New Page Russian Roulette!
http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/832042/80742562.jpg
LMFAO.
Fortunately, no liquid nasal escapes tho.
I saw that way back when during the firsts of the common interwebs, and goddamnit if I don’t still chuckle every damn time I see it; thank you. One iconic sports…. photo.
Bill O’Reilly on Colbert tonight. That’ll be fun.
Wait it’s a rerun. Boo.
http://www.marketing-chine.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/golf-chinoise.jpg
Totally inappropriate course attire.
2/10, would not bang until later.
You have more patience than I do. I’d be like, “Excuse me, I think your string is loose. Let me fix it fo…. oh, I’m sorry, it’s come apart. Let me cover you up with my hand. “
You wanna know what’s REALLY messed up? The first thing I noticed is that she’s wearing a glove on both hands. I do that too because of how I grip the shaft (don’t say it) and am prone to blisters if I don’t wear a glove on my right hand in addition to the left.
But yeah, an innocent string tug is probably the less nerdy observation. Kudos to you sir.
You and I must be brothers from another mother because I get the same blister issue! I’ve destroyed multiple gloves because of how I grip the club.
I’ve always suspected as much.
http://ct.fra.bz/ol/fz/sw/i54/2/3/20/frabz-SWITCHED-AT-BIRTH-Im-convinced-0f4d4e.jpg
It’s always refreshing when I am the pervert thinking about how hard you two grip
This is why we love you.
Wouldn’t the bikini bottom make the swing less encumbered?
Best Trophy presentation in EVAR!!!!
No tongue. 2/10. Would not invite to a foursome.
All the Cheerios you can eat obviously has less appeal for you than it does for me.
I’d soren her stam, if you know what I mean.
http://img.izismile.com/img/img8/20150714/1000/this_girl_makes_golfing_look_sexy_16.gif
?w=338&s=53942ced4c579f282f5eed1da8b8d723
Seeing every league eye bang Las Vegas is tiresome because Vegas is a relatively small market of transplants. The only league that has a shot of succeeding there is the NBA since there’s already a new move-in ready arena and basketball is probably the most popular sport there. Plus, it fits the model of the NBA plopping itself in markets with no other Big Four competition.
If the NHL seriously thinks Vegas is a good idea, Bettman needs to be killed and frozen beneath mid-ice as a reminder of how not to run a league.
See, I go the other way. There are so many things to do in Vegas that filling the arena 41 times (be it hockey or basketball) will be damn near impossible. Football, on the other hand, only happens 8 times a year. That makes it more of a special thing. I guarantee sellouts every game.
In either case, your visiting team will hold the greatest number attendance no matter the match!
Just a tap in (giggity).
Wow…still cannot stand watching golf…
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/4645870/just-the-tip-o.gif
Question, what’s the deal with flowers for “I’m sorry I ignored you for a week as you were starting to fall for me and we could have been a thing because I thought you made out with someone at a party but you didn’t, please take me back”?
Lilies
http://www.blueskyvet.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Stargazer-lily.jpg
Is scotch a flower?
That’ll inevitably be for me after.
Weren’t we sticking with “go for someone other than the girl who’s treated you like shit and is barely pretending to change her tune” petunias?
It’s easy to rip on Peter King for being spectacularly misinformed, but even SUGGESTING that Greg Hardy might end up in Oakland is staggeringly idiotic even for him. Mark Davis has made it very, very clear that the franchise has no interest in the man. The Raiders *might* stand by a player that was already on their roster when an incident occurred (I hope we never find out) but there’s no way in hell they take on an unrepentant asshole like Hardy.
Why am I so certain? Cause of this: http://www.biletnikoff.org/
It’s not like it’s a fucking secret.
To be fair to PK, it was Klemko writing on PK’s site where the suggestion came from.
I think it also shows how equally bored & lazy certain writers are.
Fantasy vacation? Nic Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.
So…. in regards to stanley cup ratings…
out of pure curiosity……
not that I’m biased……
but wouldn’t it theoretically be better for ratings if a different team was in the final, say,….
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2742915/kanewoo.gif
Just a thought
Nah, those folks are too busy having premature ejaculations over the Cubs “first two months of the season” championship.
Let he whose fan base is without assholes cast the first stone.
So…. are you saying NOT Giants fans?
Well that cancels out my fanbase. My teams have been f***ing me up the ass for my entire life.
Don’t worry, Factory of Sadness just got an order for October. They usually keep orders in house, but for Chicago they do it at a discount.
I’m sorry, no.
Bears are not a consistently good team, but they are no where near factory of sadness level bad. that is not an apt comparison.
The Cubs. The Cubs are going to blow it in the playoffs.
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/texplainthejoke.jpg
Cubs are technically bears
I legitimately did mean to type cubs at first, still not as disappointing as the browns
http://billsandbrews.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/COLBERT_PIC.png
A week ago, they were stringing their own nooses over a 4-8 stretch. Now the Cubs have won six straight.
Cubs fans are the fucking worst.
I totally cannot relate. All Orioles fans that I know are very calm and even keeled and….
OH GODDAMIT!!!! WE JUST LOST TO BOSTON AGAIN!!!! FUCK!!!!
….are just looking for the spirit of friendly competition.
I can’t think of a better team, myself.
My God!!!! He’s Only A Child for God’s Sake!!!!!!!
His shirt suggests he is a fan of the wrong team. Might as well end him now before he can grow up to do more damage.
Ah, Star Trek Into Darkness is on. Also known as Star Trek II 2.
Cumberbatch: My name is Khan
My Mother: Who?
Me: Khan, from wrath of Khan?
Mother: Who is that?
Me: Star Trek II the wrath of Khan, the bad guy, (I knew for a fact she had seen that movie more than once)
Mother: I don’t know who that is!
*beat*
Me: Ricardo Montalban?
Her: OOOh! That guy!
I’d rather smear feces on Roddenberry’s grave, which is pretty close to the same thing as NuTrek.
I won’t critique her club choice. Not enough blood left in my brain to do it.
Looks like there’s a stiff breeze. She’s gonna need the wood.
I’ll give her my 6-wood.
Same here. I don’t even know why I bought that thing; I never use it.
I would never keep anything with higher loft than a 5 wood. Hell, I even threw all my hybrids into the lake (figuratively….they’re really in the garage). Those goddamned things suck.
As for the fantasy vacation, does the Casino Night Zone count if the obstacles and Badniks aren’t going to kill me? Otherwise I’m going with… fuck it, I’m over 21, Duff Gardens.
Modern Family is doing a funny episode that involves a family crisis done completely over video chat.
If it was my family, two of the laptops would be broken, there would be 12 angry voicemails and the neighbors may have called the police because of the screaming.
I love my family!
For a fictional vacation, I’ll take the RV trip to México on From Dusk Till Dawn.
Damn…you’re darker than I thought. I like that.
http://www.lowbird.com/data/images/2012/03/dusktilldawnsalmadancehips58flg.gif
I’ll take any vacation to Fantasy Island. A weird little midget gets my drinks while I spend my “fantasy” the only logical way. (Watching TV without regard for anyone else in the house. /shivers)
I’ll take Love Boat.
Especially if it’s an episode with either Cheryl Ladd or Jaclyn Smith.
Preferably both.
Holy shit this was hard to find. Enjoy!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/2f52c25a5a10822554a0a5ee09f3c775/tumblr_nyqjle0ZQJ1uhyibpo1_500.jpg
Yeah Baby!!!!!
Kunta Kinte, wiseass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxcwlW3rrkg
The real truth behind Harvey Dent/Two-Face.
Official Shagger of Balls.
She can shag me any time.
Hey, how’d you do that?
I WANT EDIT CAPABILITY!!!!!!
I thought you had it. You just have to click on the invisible link.
Now you’re just toying with me.
I guess I’ll go on looking stupid via my lack of proofreading.
I’m actually serious. It’s to the right of the time stamp on your comment. No one can see it, but if you hover over it, you can click and it will take you to an edit page.
Yeah, so I’ve been told previously. No workie for me. I am stoopid.
Fictional vacation? Fhloston Paradise … without the whole bomb thing though.
http://pre13.deviantart.net/d090/th/pre/f/2013/010/c/a/fhloston_paradise_by_steevinlove-d5r2tro.jpg
MULTI PASS!
Lost in Translation as Bill Murray’s character. Drinking, weed, Japan, ScarJo.
God, how I love that movie. Definite Top 10, maybe Top 5. And dear God, her ass in that opening sequence…
I may be officially ambivalent religiously, but I know there is a hell because I have been to the Apple Store at Streets of Southpoint, Durham, NC.
/should have made my kids all get blackberries like me, and learn to love it.
Dude, that place will suck out your soul. And I don’t mean just Apple Stores in general.
Southpoint is where hipsters go to (unfortunately not) die.
Last time I was over there was to watch Terminator Genisys in 3D.
And THAT SUCKED TOO!!!!!!
I thought they had an Apple store at Crabtree now. No?
Christ, driving to Crabtree from my house is a murder rage event, even without trying to park. At least the drive was easy, and I got a 50 minute sanity break in the open air with my Nixon book between hellscape torment sessions.
I miss Durham being one giant crack den with Duke in the middle.
LOL…you say that as if it’s no longer a thing.
But on the plus side, you’re less likely to leave there with gunshot wound to the chest than most other places in Durham.
Sliding scale, I suppose.
Apple Stores are the most soul sucking voids on the face of the Earth. We have one. In the whole state. It’s never not a fire hazard.
Blackberries will be the next ironic vintage electronic, no worries.
I will place my undying faith in your excellent taste and ability to forecast trends. What’s MOAR fashion forward than PIE?? 😀
A little too outside to inside (no, not THAT way). But still fun to watch….
I would go with Plucky Duck’s trip to Happy World Land from Tiny Toon Adventures How I Spent My Summer Vacation. Its the perfect allegory for being a Cincinnati sports fan.
Don’t forget about a whole summer of PGA Tour coverage—-
[is shivved by DFO collective]
Just like the end of American Me.
Caved today and picked up Overwatch. Time for Pocket Healer Grat to take over, and let the family and friends melt into the background noise.
“The only difference between me and Danny Bonaduce is that Danny Bonaduce smokes crack.”
I love this guy.
“ESPN has lost 10 million subscribers since 2013” per *ahem* Fox Sports.
From Nielsen. They’ve lost 1.5M since Feb. http://sportstvratings.com/how-many-more-homes-is-espn-in-than-fs1-and-nbc-sports-network-june-2016-edition/5087/
song of the night for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q821mNXNw-I
Kanye West Famous -video made by Aziz Ansari and Eric Wareheim.
Why? Because for the last four months, i’ve been kickin it with my good friends after work and watching warriors and sharks games. Cook some food, I bring beers, throw the games on tv, smoke some weed, then roll out to the bars after the games end.
This song is our anthem.
Great Job!!!
(huh huh…get it?)
http://i1.cpcache.com/product/199796494/follow_chairman_meow_propaganda_magnet.jpg?color=NA&height=460&width=460
At home with drugs.
/sits back, waits for DuPont royalty checks
I can see Joey Bishop and Judd Nelson operating a seasonal bike rental business on the island of Malta. I really can.
Malta is an incredible place.
It has some of the oldest megalithic ruins in the world, dated to 3600 BCE.
Ha! This Barbri lecturer’s favorite TV character is Ron Swanson. Because of course.
http://manslife.manslife.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/mcbride.jpg
Not Ron, but it was already in my clipboard when I heard him mention P&R.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Ron-Swanson-Says-Dont-Even-Care.gif
Does Paula Franzese (sp?) still do the Barbri lectures? She was pretty attractive in a New Jersey way in 2002. She is probably in her mid-50’s by now.
Yes. Real Property.
Her kids are (almost?) in college as of last July’s lecture (which was what I watched studying for February).
Dean Martin is over-compensating because he couldn’t make a stupid lamp!
There’s always MLS. Because I’ll be dead in the cold cold ground before I recognize the MLB.
Goddamned commie.
http://www.tshirtlaundry.com/assets/images/photos/LeninCat5-24-2011-2.jpg
Sill also reminds us that there’s some good shit coming. Mr. Robot. That HBO series with Danny McBride fighting Walton Goggins. All sorts of fun time.
Here’s Balls’ Plan to Fix the NHL:
Campbell Conference
Smythe Division
Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Jose, Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Winnipeg
Norris Division
Chicago, Detroit, St. Louis, Minnesota, Dallas, Colorado, Tampa
Wales Conference
Patrick Division
Pittsburgh, Columbus, Islanders, Devils, Rangers, Washington, Philadelphia
Adams Division
Boston, Hartford (formerly Carolina), Montreal, Quebec(formerly Phoenix), Ottawa, Toronto, Buffalo
Contract Nashville and Florida.
While it makes sense, I gotta say I’m taking it kinda personally that you want to relocate two of the three teams I give a shit about.
Carolina I get, but you care about Phoenix?
If you want to keep Carolina, then we can get rid of Columbus.
Lived in the Valley of the Sun for a little over 15 years. Up until about 2 years ago, actually.
What took you so long to leave?
LMFAO!!!
That is a rather long and tragic story, as a matter of fact.
Trust me, you don’t wanna hear it.
Only crazy people would sit thru that entire Greek Tragedy.
What ever gave you the impression I’m sane?
http://37.media.tumblr.com/851ce12d705fa54711b69c526744f2ca/tumblr_n7tfl3iXlm1t52mf4o1_500.gif
😉
Assuming you don’t want to contract, then Quebec and Las Vegas get franchises.
Vegas goes to the Smythe.
Phoenix goes to Hartford which goes to Adams.
Carolina goes to Adams .
Nashville goes to Norris
Florida goes to Patrick
So I get to keep the ‘Canes, but I lose the ‘Yotes.
Meh…fuck it. Why not.
I would like Phoenix to stay please as when I visit my family, that is where I escape to when I want to get away.
http://www.wplr.com/pics/Feeds/Articles/2015121/849330/brassbonanza.jpg
https://youtu.be/zDKSpEfPOTo
Eliminate the conferences and just go with four divisions and you have a winner.
One of the heretofore unknown advantages of a deep NHL/NBA playoff run is a significant increase in the quality of programming on the DVR.
Frank Sinatra just gave a carton of smokes to Molly Ringwald.
/that’s fucked up
For a fake vacation I want two weeks and a Star Trek holodeck/holosuite
Sammy Davis Estevez is driving the getaway bus!
NFL Power Rankings…
Ravens at number 20, sandwiched between the Jaguras and the J-E-T-S Jets!!!!
Just fucking shoot me now, please.
“Sure, no problem.”
-Cincinnati Zoo staff
Nice!
Oh, does that hurt? I can’t see you all the way from down here… with a Niner’s view
High school kids in detention at The Flamingo? I don’t know about that…
*bouncing back and forth between Breakfast Club and Ocean’s Eleven*
Peter Lawford just doesn’t “get” Ally Sheedy.
THEY’RE SO DIFFERENT!
Dubose was a practice squad member who didn’t make the final 53 last year either. I didn’t even know he got hurt much less who he was. For a second I worried he might have been someone valuable.
Holy crap! A very young Angie Dickinson.
In case you were wondering-no, this doesn’t belong here.
I believe a pic is in order…
“A very young Angie Dickinson” Google Search only generates an erection.
What does a google search of Bruce Dickinson get you?
Ahh okay… After frantically googling “Angie Dickinson + Dubose” and coming up with nothing I was extremely confused.
Shall I watch The Breakfast Club for the umpteenth time or Ocean’s Eleven for the first?
/might just opt for “Sixties Cool”
If it is the Sinatra version, go with it, but be warned that it tends to drag a bit.
One thing Bill Simmons was right about is that Gary Bettman is an NBA plant secretly working to destroy the NHL from within.
There’s no other explanation for the NHL’s continuing lack of popularity in a country as racist and violent as the US.
Does that mean he’s not a disgrace because he DID HIS JOB?
I wholeheartedly agree with the Bettman as plant from Stern. How the fuck are we talking about expansion when we should really be talking about relocation (in the rosiest case) and contraction in the most realistic case?
Contract Florida and Phoenix, move Carolina back to Hartford, and move Columbus to Quebec City.
The Red Wings move back to the West in this case, right?
Of course.
EXACTLY! I did a whole plan for the reorganization of the NHL that also brought back the old name divisions (Norris, Smythe, Adams, Patrick) and the old conferences (Campbell and Wales).
I still have it somewhere but it frustrates me to no end that the NHL is run by morons.
You may not have the ‘Canes.
They help pay for our basketball arena.
I love the Steelers and I LOVE that article you posted. Fuck “The Steeler Way”.
Also, steroids are good.
I thought the racism angle was a little overplayed.
Pretty sure that was an Irreplaceable Franchise QB vs. Fungible No. 1 WR issue, not a White vs. Black issue.
It should also be noted that THE BLUNT was arrested and cited for littering AND smokin’ the reefer before the drink-throwing incident.
I let that one slide. The better illustration of hypocrisy was when James Harrison and a 4th string guy got popped for the exact same thing and the 4th string guy got cut ASAP while the James got the supportive treatment. Both guys being black, of course.
This is funny. Back when I hadn’t blocked everyone on Facebook, a girl from high school who was a Steelers fan (born in raised in Chicago, she was a fan because “reasons”) wrote a long diatribe about “THE STEELER WAY” and how the Steelers would never sign anyone as morally repugnant as Michael Vick. She immediately blocked me when I linked to THE BEN and Harrison’s police reports. That was a good day. Every team is filled with assholes, and anyone who says otherwise is a Cardinals fan.