Your “WOOO – LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!11!1!” Thursday Open Thread

NFL Natterings:

• The Ravens have released Eugene Monroe. The Ravens say it’s for football reasons; Monroe says it’s due to his advocacy for medical cannabis. He’ll probably be a Seahawk by Monday, where he can enjoy all the Mary Jane he wants.
• CJ Anderson wants to remind people Mark Sanchez has been to two AFC Championship games. And, he’s right.
  • Counterpoint:
• Muhammad Wilkerson won’t sign with the Jets until they offer him what he feels he’s worth. He wants two years; rumour is the Jets only want one. Ryan Fitzpatrick sits at home staring at his Harvard degree.
• Von Miller says there’s “no chance” he plays under the franchise tag. John Elway, meanwhile, chokes on his oats.
• ESPN reports the coroner’s report on Lawrence Phillips’ death has been published. He hanged himself with a bedsheet, but taped a “Do Not Resuscitate” note to his chest prior to going for a swing. Florio reports that his attorney and other journalists had a competing theory about Phillips’ death possibly being a murder, but the coroner doesn’t mention that.

  

• Steve Smith’s major reason for coming back is his quest to get to 1000 receptions. Here’s the sole reason I want to see it happen:

  • “I may catch that [1,000th pass] in my uniform, get in my car and go home,” Smith said with a smile.

• Darren Sharper’s sentencing has been pushed back until August. Hopefully, the proximity to the Hall of Fame induction ceremony won’t prevent Peter King from providing supporting testimony on Sharper’s behalf. Hall of Fame votes count there too, right?

Finally, in what seems like rookie hazing but is an actual thing that happened, Carson Wentz got trapped in a bathroom in New Jersey.

Your Euro 2016 arrest report:

• As of this morning, 323 people had been arrested for Euro-related violence in France
• Russia: 43 fans arrested in Marseille; 20 fans deported
  • The French ambassador was officially queried in Moscow; relations were threatened.
• England & Wales: 36 arrested; 16 hospitalized.

Ahem…

Today is the last day of work in my alternative program. Out of 50 kids, I got 13 to graduate, and another 20 will return next year. Still, that’s pretty good numbers based on kids who’ve been kicked down two levels just to arrive at my door. So, I’m going to celebrate with a small SFW gif party:

But…

Summer school starts in two weeks.

DAMMIT!

Tonight’s sports:

• NBA: Game 6 – Warriors @ Cavs – 9:00
• Copa: USA vs Ecuador – 9:30 – Century Link Field, Seattle

Alternative programming:

• ABC: Battlebots: The Gears Awaken – 8:00
  • Season 2 preview; 12 bots battle for the last 4 spots
• FXX: Simpsons – A four-hour block, but here’s my highlights:
  • “Bart the General” – 8:00
  • “Homer’s Enemy” – 9:00

It was announced today that Ashton Kutcher & Mila Kunis are expecting their second baby. Rather than be angry,

I CHOOSE TO REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES!