Your “Is That All?” Wednesday Open Thread

NFL tidbits:

  • Video has surfaced of Denard Robinson’s car rolling through a stoplight and rolling towards the pond he was found in. You’ll have to go to Deadspin to see it, because it won’t embed.
  • Lighting the rivalry fire early, DeAngelo Williams talks about how glad he is the Patriots are having problems entering training camp. His whole interview at the Pittsburgh Tribune is a good read, and also has some candid reflections on what it means to be a 10-year vet who wants another crack at a Super Bowl.
  • Speaking of hype machines, nfl.com predicts the Raiders will win 10 games this year.
  • Unofficial [*Redacted] s mascot Chief Zee died. Apparently, he was one of the few people Dan Snyder was nice to.
    • Deadspin talks about the time he went to Philly in full regalia. You can guess how that ended.
  • Norv Turner apparently likes Laquon Treadwell so much he’s going to bring Michael Irvin’s “Bang-8” routes out of retirement. Because when I think of the 88-Club, I think 8-balls.
  • Someone let Doktor Zymm know the NFL is looking for a new Chief Medical Officer.

Finally, in May/June of 2016, the Center for Public Opinion and UMass-Lowell conducted a survey of 1000 American adults on their awareness and attitudes towards sports and concussions. It’s a lot of science, but it comes down to increased societal reticence to let kids under 14 play tackle football. have a read, and then settle in for a bunch of thinkpieces about how America today has become

There are three main findings which are detailed in the supporting documents:

  • There is widespread awareness that concussions and post-concussion syndrome are caused by sports and represent a significant public health issue
    Majorities of Americans would favor changes to youth sports; large majorities do not believe that tackle football or heading the ball in soccer are appropriate until they reach high school. This is true among both men and women.
    Professional, college and national sports organizations, by and large, are viewed by the public as having done too little to address the concussion issue in sports.

Speaking of concussions, the only TV entertainment tonight is, once again, the Republican Convention. What a boring event; I was promised a riot – or at least some clashes.

There was finally some protest action, as someone burned a flag. Cops got involved

But the First Amendment was exercised, in a moment I’m sure won’t be brought up at all over the next two days.

Honest-to-God, watching bits & pieces of the convention last night, it seemed like they mentioned Hilary more than Trump, as they tried to whip up the fervour. Mostly, it just looked like Friday prayers in Tehran, with “Send her to jail!” replacing “Death to America!”.

I did enjoy this unhinged press conference, with NH state rep Al Baldasaro  talking openly about shooting Hillary Clinton on grounds of treason. I don’t get why; everyone knows she was born in America.

Nothing helps tone down the negative public image like talking about cigarettes and firing squads.

Here’s tonight’s agenda. Highlights include watching Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio swallow their pride, and finishes with Mike Pence explaining why he decided to accept the final rose.


Tonight’s sports: (National)

  • MLB:
    • USA: Giants @ Red Sox – 7:00 (ESPN)
    • CAN: Giants @ Red Sox – 7:00 (TSN)
      • Orioles @ Yankees – 7:00 (Sportsnet)

I don’t know what else to offer. ENTERTAIN YOURSELVES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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JustStopDude

Lou Dobbs is fucking going nuts over Ted Cruz on the Fox Business Channel.

Lou…you may want to be careful taking on more than you can chew. Teddy likes it when people fight him…

Horatio Cornblower

MSNBC Anchor saying that “If you’re saying ‘Cruz’ really loud it sounds like ‘Boo'”

And if you turn the lights off and say ‘Ted Cruz’ three times into a mirror he appears and eats your face off.

Sill Bimmons

CRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSS

JustStopDude

I am shocked…YES SHOCKED!…that a man that spend his early twenties hunting down couples for sport could not be trusted to deliver the expect dick polishing speech…

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Its almost like Cruz is a sociopath…

Gratliff

And now my shiny distractions are over, back to the evil!

Porky Prime

Marvin Berry is a good cousin. Calling Chuck…who has to be reminded of who Marvin is…and handing over rock n roll to that pederast!

Horatio Cornblower

Ted Cruz just basically told people to write him in as President.

JustStopDude

You got to love it when crusty white folk turn on each other.

Horatio Cornblower

If he doesn’t say ‘Trump’ soon the New York and Texas delegations are gonna go.

Duchess

I thought Canadians are supposed to be polite?

...

I’d expect nothing less, honestly.

It is fun to see him beaten by an even bigger narcissist than he is, especially one that just decided to chase Cruz’s life goal without doing any of the normal work to prepare one’s self for the job.

JustStopDude

Even the big screen is going fucking batshit dealing with the pure evil on stage…

Gratliff

I don’t give a fuck. Rey Mysterio hitting ranas like it’s 1998 is my everything, even it is mostly because of Ricochet’s insane flippiness.

Spur

Tiffany Trump is pissed cause Cruz disrespected her step mom

rockingdog

good article about Donald trump.
its an interview with his ghostwriter.
http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/07/25/donald-trumps-ghostwriter-tells-all?src=longreads

rockingdog

he wrote the book The Art of The Deal about/with Trump

...

Not that I get anything for having my conclusion that Trump stands for nothing affirmed, but it’s comforting to know I can recognize a con artist easily.

Spur

I haven’t heard him in nearly 3 months and I still can’t stand Cruz’s voice.

Sill Bimmons

People paid the equivalent of almost NINETY TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS for a DeLorean DMC-12 off the waitlist in 1981.

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This for a car that was slower than a Golf GTI. And didn’t handle as well. And was far less reliable.

They say that they’re going to build new ones that look like the old ones but that actually move forward when the accelerator is pressed. I’ll believe it when I see it.

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Spur

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JustStopDude

Don’t forget, built in fucking Northern Ireland because you know…building a new car line doesn’t require a workforce with experience.

Sill Bimmons

They didn’t even build the engine. Or the drivetrain.

First it was supposed to be a mid-engine Wankel rotary, then sanity set in and the first prototypes were built with the excellent Ford Cologne V6.

Then insanity descended once again, and the cars that came off the line were built with the absolutely putrid PRV V6, a nightmare of an engine that was the bastard child of a failed Peugeot/Renault–Volvo joint venture. Combine that with an even worse PRV gearbox and an overly complicated double-wishbone, multi-link suspension built when those concepts were poorly understood and PRESTO

JustStopDude

I am of the opinion that Delorean, the dude himself, was very good at selling his image and that was about it.

Porky Prime

So…he was like Trump.

Sill Bimmons

Yep.

You have to be a pretty fucking convincing character to somehow finagle $175 million in legitimate upfront financing for an auto plant AND $175 million worth of the Medellin cartel’s blow.

Porky Prime

Sweet Giant Anteater of Santa Anita.

JustStopDude

Oh god…Ted Cruz is wearing his “Happy Face” human skin mask…

http://i.imgur.com/yYmSMPp.jpg

Spur

I hope the Rains of Castamere are about to start playing.

Gratliff

Prince Puma vs. Rey Mysterio, y’all. Nothing better to help me forget that goblin speaking at the RNC.

Spur

These people love Ted Cruz.
That’s why they’re insane.

King Hippo

you know, I usually don’t care for orange (outside of Donks context), but…

Spur

We doing a DFO Fantasy Football league? i would join.

Horatio Cornblower

There are usually several floating around. I’ll wait for someone else to do the heavy lifting.

Sill Bimmons

Going to do the insanity league again.

I’ll send out reminders when I get the Yahoo reminder.

Horatio Cornblower

I shall ready the abacus!

Spur

Howdy Folks!

Porky Prime

Hey, who’s in the L.A. area? It won’t be for a long while, but I am definitely making a pilgrimage in 2017.

King Hippo

all of the socializing is in SoCal. The rest of us never leave our houses/unabomber shacks.

ballsofsteelandfury

I am! Tell us and we’ll do a get-together!

laserguru

Bring it on son.
Would love to have you out here.

Porky Prime

I always like the quick look Lou the diner guy gives Lorraine when she details her plan to stalk Marty. Like it’s something he hears from the little tramp all the time.

JustStopDude

Pretty much all college level research in Wisconsin has stopped because Scott Walker and friends have Reagan’d the higher education system for the state.

Shogun Marcus

You mean all research. And we’re not sure about established science law either. “Theories” are leftist propaganda. But at least glorious leader has all the monies we can’t be trusted with. Good ol scotty.

JustStopDude

This Gov Walker Muppet is fucking doing a terrible singalong. #sesamestreetusedtobebetter

King Hippo

BTW, I highly second – and thank – Yeah Right’s recommend of HBO’s “The Night Of” to fill your prestige teevee box gap.

I was driving today listening to my Houndmouth CD, and thought of how well this track fit the feeling of emptiness and disconnect of the first half of the pilot, before everything went tits up:

I was struck, too. You could empathize with the kid (or I could), knowing that one’s spidey senses would go all a tingle when the sexy time instincts needed tequila, mixing of unspecified drugs, and knifeplay. But SHIT, that gal was just my type too, the kind I would also NEVAR come across having an experience like that with again…you can see how he overrides the alarm.

Then…who the fuck knows? RIGHT?

Good shit.

ALSO…Season 3 of Bojack Horseman goes live Friday, and if’n you don’t dig the Bojack, then I don’t think we can be imaginary friends. Not CLOSE ONES, anyhoo. Yeah, I’m sure that really tears you up.

Gratliff

Cartoons aren’t supposed to make me sad.

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King Hippo

That show makes me laugh harder than anything has since original recipe Arrested Development. It also makes me hit pause and get up and take a walk sometimes.

Mr. Ayo

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll bet she gives that salute while masturbating to a grim and joyless orgasm.*

Plagiarized from Stephen King’s ‘The Tommyknockers’. Please do not blame my imaginary speechwriters.

ballsofsteelandfury

The thing that causes me to stop suspending disbelief in all time travel movies is the elevation changes and positioning changes. It is impossible to emerge from the time machines on level ground.

Porky Prime

Once I realized this, in my twenties, it blew my mind.

Of course, there’s always the Peggy Sue method, which involves Shriners and Nicolas Cage, and you can’t dismiss any theory which involves Cage.

JustStopDude

A time traveler would be more likely to just appear in the vacuum of space than anything else. Pretty much every thing in the universe is moving and never in the same spot at any given moment in relationship to the overall system.

Sill Bimmons

You could correct all these problems very easily.

We can calculate the position of the earth and at what stage it would be in its rotation at any time in the past or future.

These coordinates would be automatically selected for any date entered into the Flux Capacitor and it would adjust for the differences in both space and time to arrive at the same location on earth it left from.

JustStopDude

Not quite Sill…if we are viewing the expansion of the Universe, the stars themselves are expanding outward…well not necessarily. But the various super structures are. So you would have to simulate and predict not only the position of traveler in relation to the earth, but also the earth in relation to the sun, the sun in relation to the center of the milkyway, the milkyway in relation to the big bang starting point.

That’s a shitload of math…and any errors in it would basically mean that Marty would be just as likely to end up in a wall as a blackhole.

Sill Bimmons
Kungjitsu

Sill thinks flying through hyperspace is like dusting crops. Without precise calculations you could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova, and that would end your trip real quick, wouldn’t it?

ballsofsteelandfury

God. Damn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite?

Porky Prime

Sorry, didn’t mean to threadjack. Haven’t been on much lately.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You can’t threadjack an open thread. Silly pig…

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Yeah, I was gonna say…

The only other thing we have to talk about is the RNC convention. And that way lies madness.

Porky Prime

Shit, you’re right.

So Marty causes 300 bucks worth of damage to Biffs car. In 1955 dollars, isn’t that like ten years’ salary for a working professional? Biff’s grandma didn’t seem rich.

Also, Biff lives with his grandma…does that mean he was orphaned? Biff’s story is actually kind of sad. I’m willing to excuse the Sports Almanac plan, up to the part where he kills George.

Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of white people stealing from black people, here’s Led Zeppelin!

Porky Prime

Let’s accept that George McFly–A SCIENCE FICTION WRITER–doesn’t ever fancy the thought that the mysterious “Marty Klein” was actually his time displaced son…you know, the one who hangs out with the crazy physicist? Wouldn’t he at least have a vague memory of Marty from the 50s? Wouldn’t his first thought be “that bitch must have tracked down that weirdo Klein and slept with him and gotten pregnant! THEN SHE NAMED THE BASTARD AFTER HIM!!!”

Think, McFly, think.

Sill Bimmons

I choose to remain the child I was when I first saw it.

There are NO plot holes in Back To The Future, end of story.

Porky Prime

Skipping ahead in my head, but was George McFlys first novel delayed for thirty years while his publisher sorted out the lawsuits from George Lucas and Gene Rodenberry?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Naw, he spent the ’60s knee-deep in weed, LSD and hippie chicks. Then most of the ’70s drying out at a Betty Ford clinic before finally getting off his lazy, stoner ass and writing the book.

Then it was published and he lost everything in the resulting lawsuit.

/would have made BTTF much darker, obviously

Porky Prime

That was the Eric Stoltz cut.

Porky Prime

The AK-47. Most reliable assault weapon in the world. Jammed.

Porky Prime

Considering this was the first experimental time voyage, Doc must have had a pretty big set of balls to stand directly in the path of the Delorean, less than 100 feet from its PURELY THEORETICAL exit point.

JustStopDude

You know the greatest creative license that was taken with those movies?

The idea that a Delorean could ever achieve 88 MPH.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

NO SHIT.

Crappy cars, remembered fondly only due to that movie.

Porky Prime

Also, Muslim terrorist cell operating in Southern California with access to plutonium and rocket launchers, conspiring with (admittedly duplicitous) American citizens in 1985. The feel good family hit of the year!

Sill Bimmons

We still had the Soviets back then.

Muslim terrorists were small falafel.

ballsofsteelandfury

I say he had already tried it and BS’ed the “first time” thing.

High school girlfriend pulled the same shit.

Porky Prime

True, because why risk your dog if he materializes 1000 feet below or above you a minute later due to the spatial location of the constantly moving Earth?

jjfozz

Shotgun a beer? Um ok

Porky Prime

Perhaps the question was “shotgun, or beer?” Just saying.

Porky Prime

Back to the Future starting on Netflix because as I fear new things.

Porky Prime

Looking at Thomas Wilson these days, the middle aged Biff makeup was pretty goddamn good in retrospect.

Porky Prime

The hard science cynic in me knows that Marty irreparably fucked the future within the first 12 hours of his visit, but NOSTALGIA! NOSTALGIA!

Gratliff

I’m watching a dragon in human form, a time-travelling spaceman, and the very spirit of life wrestle a team that consists of a werewolf, a flippy sociopath, and a rock star, who win their matches by hitting people in the dick repeatedly.

Porky Prime

The RNC is still on?

Gratliff

The flippy guy just rolled up the spaceman, and then chopped him in the taint, so yes.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
jjfozz

My lord and my god

ballsofsteelandfury

So much going on there

Porky Prime

Karaoke, drinking and gambling earlier in the week screwed up my internal sense of propriety. Now I just want to go out and throw money away for the glory of BLEERGH.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

Fuck nosferatu. Ultima Lucha time!

Gratliff

Rick Scott? GETTIN’ THAT HATE OUT EARLY AND FAST

jjfozz

My middle son just dropped a goddammit in front of my mom in law, who is more Catholic than the Pope

FUCK ITT!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please tell him I said cheers, and JESUS HERBERT FUCKING CHRIST QUIT CUSSING IN FRONT OF GRANNY!

Porky Prime

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Last night in Boulder for a while, so I’m meeting a colleague at mountain sun and then will do laundry and pack while I finish whatever beer is left in the Airbnb fridge. Should make for some fun late night discourse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mountain Sun is a socialist, nazi, communist loving hippie place.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a nice place.

Porky Prime

I mean, it’s only fair that Bill gives her a mulligan or five, right?

JustStopDude

https://twitter.com/drewmagary/status/755458459999625217?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Honestly impressed with Tim Heidecker’s impression of Alex Jones here.

jjfozz

DAY 4 of in law vacation. Bourbon level 24 unlocked! Strap in motherfuckers cause tonight we are drinking moonshine!

Ride with me brothers! RIDE!

ballsofsteelandfury

I smell bourble.

Shogun Marcus

Smells like…victory.

Gratliff

Man, look at all these hateful bitches dancing to shitty covers. How dare they do the fucking Beatles.
Anyway, I see you doing Big Cass references, so here’s ‘Zo’s insanely good and incredibly promo from the Cruserweight Classic.

Gratliff
Porky Prime

Rex Grossman loves a good Bang-8 route.

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