NFL late-Friday News Dump:
- The Cardinals have extended Fitty through 2017 and Carson Palmer through 2018.
- Mike McCarthy vows to never give up play calling again. So get ready for more Packer field goals from the three.
- Brandon Marshall threw a punch at Darrelle Revis in practice Friday. Looks like the Jets are in mid-season form.
- Third-year Titan’s safety has been suspended for opening day for violating the League’s substance abuse policy.
- Aaron Rodgers is expected to miss the Hall of Fame Game Sunday. Because, reasons.
- Maybe they can get Brett Favre to play. Some idiot at the NFL Network asked him whether he’d like to get paid to back up Tony Romo. Fortunately, he implied no, which is more truthful than when he says no.
Finally, with Gisele out of the country for the Olympics, Tommy was free to say some things about his suspension.
Since the video won’t embed, here’s a brief transcription from For The Win:
“I think it’s just personal, and I try to move on from it. I try to, like I said, focus on the positive and being here with my teammates and getting better. You know, you don’t want to go out and do anything besides being a great example for your teammates, and we’ve got a lot of competitive guys that have been out here on the practice field. And I think that’s where the focus needs to be.”
I wanted to go further down the delusion rabbit hole, but Barstool Sports made me want to remove my eyes with a stick. This shot at right from their Patriots page should give you an idea. I can’t wait for Peter King on Monday.
It’s Hall of Fame weekend. In honour of that, here’s Brett Favre’s final pass as a Packer, from the seat I watched it from.
Nothing worse than sitting in that cold only to watch the Giants win because of some Hall of Fame stupidity. Which he totally didn’t commit again in Minnesota three years later.
Enjoy the coat, Gunslinger.
As a Canadian, whenever an Olympics comes around I’m expected to recount the few good times and the plenty of bad this quadrennial festival brings to the fore. Canada has hosted two Winter Olympics – Vancouver & Calgary – and the Montreal Summer Olympics. The Winter Olympics were great successes, if you overlook the winning-no-gold in Calgary and the oops-a-luge-guy-died from Vancouver. But if Rio turns out to be a shitshow, all Canadian news will focus on is how it will have been the worst Summer games since Montreal.
Montreal was the gold standard for boondoggles. The Olympics were awarded to Montreal after the 1967 Centennial, when the Montreal Expo gave visions of Canada competing on the world stage with more-traditional powers. What they hadn’t counted on were the corrupt nature of Quebec politics and the heavy hands of Quebec’s labour associations & unions. The federal & provincial governments gave money to the Montreal committee with no oversight, until in 1975 the upper levels finally forced the city to accept their control. Major contracts were given to construction companies with ‘alleged’ mafia ties, and unions held up construction until the were forced to be paid overtime to ensure completion. The Guardian recounts that out of a total of 530 potential working days between December 1974 and April 1976, the workers would be on strike for 155 days – 30% of the work time available. They didn’t finish building the Olympic Stadium until the morning of the opening ceremony, and rumours still abound that they were installing seats during the March of Athletes.
Speaking of athletes, there was a boycott by most African countries, because New Zealand was allowed to attend Montreal despite violating the international sporting ban on travelling to South Africa by going there on a rugby tour.
Here’s what it came down to, and is one more reason the IOC continues to anger Sill by not having full-15 in the Olympics.
They didn’t finish paying off the stadium until 2006. Adjusted for inflation, the cost of “The Big Owe” was $1.6 billion. BEAT THAT, NFL OWNERS!
This month’s “Malt of the Month” is Cardhu Distilling’s 12 Year-Old with Two-glass pack. Hmm…let’s see what your transcript says:
- APPEARANCE: Golden honey.
- NOSE: At full strength, heady, nose prickle, pear drops and tightly integrated heather, resin and sweet honey-nut notes. Enticing. Intriguing. With a little water, still harmonious but less pronounced, allowing some malt-cereal, soft, spicy wood, moorland and faint traces of wood-smoke to appear.
- BODY: Soft, pleasing, medium.
- PALATE: Palate Well balanced, smooth mouthfeel; short punch, sweet and fresh, then a pronounced drying effect. Enjoyable at any time, with little or no water.
- FINISH: Quite short. Some lingering sweet smoke in the attractive, drying aftertaste.
Brief research on Wikipedia tells me Cardhu is “a Speyside distillery near Archiestown, Moray, Scotland, founded by the whisky smuggler John Cumming in 1824. The distillery is currently run by Diageo and the distillery’s Scotch whisky makes up an important part of the famous Johnnie Walker blended whiskies. The word “Cardhu” derives from the Scots Gaelic Carn Dubh, meaning “Black Rock”.”
Well, that rules me out. Not a Speyside fan.
Tonight’s sports:
- Olympics: Opening Ceremonies
- NBC: 7:30 EDT, 6:30 CDT, 7:30 PDT (tape-delay)
- CBC: 7:00 EDT, 4:00 PDT (tape-delay)
- TSN: 6:30 EDT, 3:30 PDT (live)
- Boxing: Premier Boxing Champions – 9:00 (ESPN)
- Benavidez-Douglin (light heavyweights)
- TEH KITTEZ: Kitten Summer Games – 8:00 (Hallmark)
Remember that even though the Hall of Fame Game is terrible, terrible football, it IS football, and it’s just four short weeks until the regular season. WE CAN DO THIS!
In the not too distant future…
Or maybe the semi-distant past…
http://rarerborealis.com/wordpressblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/dancing_girls.gif
I was just reminded that my only memory of the Olympics is the reports in 1988 of how there were student riots like a week or two before the games were to begin in Seoul.
The Olympics are a ton of fun! After you ignore Bob Costas, of course.
Thank god for access to Canadian coverage.
What the hell, Fozz?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/81305e7e915e425b18d9163e6216b608/tumblr_nel1xyMBXy1qc7e5jo1_500.gif
Wow, Hawthorn finally loses. How about that.
Still probably marching to the title, though.
You shut your whore mouth!!!!!
Hey! I’m not happy about it.
Fuck, I am leading a tipping pool full of Aussies, with knowing the rules and little else and I am banking on the remaining weeks to pick favourites.
Shit. At least I’m the only one in our pool to get Richmond-Collingwood right.
I did not know there was a drink called an Irish Car Bomb.
http://www.bartendermixed.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/irish-car-bomb2-300×200.jpg
Now I have a reason to go to The Blarney Stone tomorrow.
http://barmansjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/irishcarbomb.jpg
Yep. I had an Irish lass bartender make me and my friend one in Madrid.
Head’s up: You do NOT sip an Irish Car Bomb.
My friend learned that the messy way.
I caught the shot glass in my mouth. I am awesome.
Whatever you do, do NOT ask for a cement mixer.
Coming from a bartender Irish Carbombs are delish, just get a half pint of guinness for the bomb and the other for drinkin. The more you know.
It’s a delicious drink. The locals do not appreciate the term though.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/xU8mlnd9wRfGITw1F01CnQ/47267/472660994/shoot%20copy.jpg
During and after World War II, dropping a shot of whiskey into a mug of beer and then gulping it down was called “A Depth Charge.”
I am familiar with those.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/04e925ad9ce18b0c3b0c7edf889924af/tumblr_o9is9q6tiO1qzquyeo1_400.gif
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wTfAau4fgyU/Uw6G8AOPp5I/AAAAAAACdbo/kQ2c26dj0gM/s1600/Kelly+Brook+leather+metal+hurlant.gif
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http://img.izismile.com/img/img5/20121113/1000/putting_a_bounce_in_it_14.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mad7euDmxj1qaxzdbo1_1280.jpg
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2pJXVXETgIs/U59XCTs1FZI/AAAAAAAAA2Y/FVv68pxzX1g/s1600/new+things+about+urself.gif
This AFL game is getting really good. Five point game.
http://www.heavymetal.com/v2/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/lynda-carter-as-wonder-woman-08.gif
“Chargers considering Melvin Gordon at kick returner.”
Oh god damnit.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/dad4dc6f3ac87217702e466853c9b555/tumblr_o9jbw6CY9w1ubfgh6o1_1280.jpg
Is this Irish?
So very high.
Eh, Diet Irish.
Irish Zero I believe it is referred to now.
I like it.
Northern Ireland is Diet Ireland.
Masshole “Ireland” is Irish Zero.
How about this then?
Now we’re talking.
I never caught that fucking whale!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e785d07a3757a9bf0e8f5fb55bb99190/tumblr_mqny8pRopB1r3gb3zo1_400.gif
This seems more like an Irish car.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2010/02/23/article-1253065-086D10A2000005DC-725_634x342.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_memydmRZQs1qzralio4_1280.jpg
As a fellow Canadian I am in full knowledge of the corruptness of the Quebecois government, yet being born in 76 well, I was not aware at that point. I attended a uni there in 94, I went to quite a few Expo games and fuck me that team was loaded, and got supremely fucked.
With you on the Speyside train, not for me, more of a Balvenie man.
Soon to be mother in law is here. Got kinda lit with her and the missus, then went out and now am silently listening to Spotify with headphones, drinking Powers Irish on the rocks.
I LIVE IN A CONDO SORRY!
It’s not just the economy that’s rotten. Their persecution complex seems to give them thought that they can be extremely bigoted towards others and defend it with their minority status.
It’s ironic to think PK Subban will be called fewer racial names in Nashville than Montreal.
Yet that city in summer is supremely awesome, and jesus in my 20’s I worked in resort towns here out west and Quebecoise girls are fucking awesome, just beware of the sneaky finger
http://livedoor.4.blogimg.jp/netagazou_okiba/imgs/7/e/7e6a8b97.gif
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Now I have to roll back up that GODDAMN HILL!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/1caf9727a2c020b67c969d07b1009681/tumblr_o7tn52HUdZ1rasnq9o1_1280.jpg
Estonia really needs to start working out.
The Nords need to fuck more and get off this emo shit
Listening to AFL. Melbourne vs. Hawthorn. Melbourne has a 6 point lead going into the fourth quarter.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9p02vVegL1qedb29o1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/8c40a8c0297f889eec4a4d9528cc0a9f/tumblr_mftkmk6Q2Z1qdlh1io1_400.gif
Anyone want to take Rutgers off our hands?
-Big Ten
“That’s an NFL team, right?”
— Chip Kelly
Watched Iowa at Rutgers basketball game last year. Looked like there was about 500 people in the stands. Great choice, Big Ten.
But a gritty 500.
Who’s cars were gone after the game.
I’m going to admit that at my most jingoistic state I’m still gonna USA USA USA.
Honestly though? Jamaica struck home.
I love dat country mon!
Don’t forget to cheer for Ireland! They don’t have much, but fantastic beer and whiskey.
You’ve seen my fuckin’ flag!
What was the earlier question?
Anyway, this guy is going to try to fuck the ATM in revenge for service fees.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8cuqpjCWx1rz1ki7o1_1280.png
Seems fair
Card slot.
That’s a big beaver
I’m not watching Oprah; what’s going on?
Okay, after much study, I think I’ve sorted it out.
Bridget
Michelle
You make a compelling argument.
Especially since one has cursed the earth with more Brady spawn
Do you have any data to back this up you fucker?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdwtqew7tH1qghl49o1_r1_500.gif
I’m debating whether to share my classmate’s cosplay photo. Damn kids and their comic book movies.
Just don’t say it is your classma…………….. oh damn.
Yeah. That pretty much settled that. Also, I keep forgetting that we’re alumni. She’s just another lawyer here now.
I’m going to sleep, but first, I will leave you with an inspirational quote.
“You can do anything for 20 seconds!’
Me : “You can’t survive in the caldera of an active volcano for 20 seconds!”
There are some places where I am not welcome.
Reality is anathema to motivation
You shitstains and your big words.
PRIAPISM!!!!!
yeah, that’s right.
Higgs boson particle is very sad about this quote.
Well… for about about 10 to the minus 22 seconds anyway.
“That’s what I tried to tell her!”
— Brett Favre
That’s fucking good.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/d3dab3227862d94ae17f654f7f78038c/tumblr_moc45l7fjM1qd2avdo1_1280.jpg
I think drunk people are trying outside my window…This is odd, as I’m no longer in college.
*to fuck
*to play scrabble
I tried to say “crying,” but autocorrect made my story much better.
Sorry I’m enjoying this typo so much.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e417bc0bcbe6f9cf6c52ae4968d2b7c3/tumblr_mlpl91GhU61qzo3c9o1_1280.jpg
Please don’t be.
I’m having trouble stopping…
*to perform complex accounting tasks for a large corporation
*to construct a boat dock……. and frankly I don’t know why…. there is no large body of water near by…. anyway….
Hate the terminology, as I have too many friends with kids, and “trying” is no longer something I would have the least bit of fun doing. And if I’m honest, if it’s that difficult to get it in, to the point where it’s trying rather than doing….also not fun.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu78o4FXVA1qd30vqo1_500.gif
*to draw a sketch of the Sistine Chapel ceiling on napkins…. shit this will take a while
Holy fuck.
Vodka thru the nose is painful
Please stop.
You know the buzz is better if you just drink it. Now I admit, I’ve snorted some vodka in my time…. but it is time to stop when your neighbor tells you it’s time to clean the bathroom.
Just don’t use the vodka
Don’t stop.
Believin’
*get into Schrödinger’s van….
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f51c27cde3c47cce7dcaa47bf81d6edd/tumblr_mkpdk5jA9f1rhi0rbo1_500.jpg
Guess who has a belly in their sewer line? Yeah, baby! How much do they cost to replace? A car. A small car, but still a car to replace.
http://hybridtechcar.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/gifs_141.gif
I hear ya; well, at least it will be very expensive.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3s370MMak1qdlh1io1_400.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v632/zack3gpics/4de702d1.png
Pretty much my week so far.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/86243/eurotrip-11-o.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/76cf2624b4d26b60e7a62c1ac09ef7ee/tumblr_oasi39UC4Y1snmmclo1_500.gif
How was Bratislava?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a4a61be2ae6d2369d9579a34b5fae60f/tumblr_mmiuxyNCid1qmcj0to1_250.gif
Have a fine night. And if you aren’t having a fine night, try looking at these pandas.
http://a57.foxnews.com/images.foxnews.com/content/fox-news/science/slideshow/2014/04/10/cuddly-critters-cutest-baby-animals/_jcr_content/slideshow-par/slide_image0/image.img.jpg/0/549/1422687145031.jpg?ve=1&tl=1?ve=1
Fuck those little assholes.
They look tasty.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9grllFROF1qaqs9zo1_500.gif
Why isn’t Michelle Monaghan more famous?
CAUSE BRADY TURNED HER INTO A WHORE!
– Barstool Sports, probably
That’s Bridget Moynihan.
Although I have no problem blaming Brady for any and everything. I’ll blame him for me being fat if I thought it’d do any good.
Stay focused.
http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/michelle-monaghan-the-coup.jpg
Dammit.
Well, at least the beer’s working. I was getting worried.
Hmm
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/47fb6d1c81f4cb12e9868262c8cec007/tumblr_o8l16pmd3G1sjhycyo1_1280.jpg
This is addicting but I have to go to bed. Big day of hitting the gym, wedding caterer testing, and visiting the MJ doctor regarding my “chronic pain” tomorrow.
Here’s hoping all of your favorite teams (except the usual suspects) don’t suffer roster-destroying injuries before Monday.
BIRDCANO
Hopefully Gisele comes back and infects Brady and by extension the entire Pats to some godforsaken pathogen from deep in the heart of the rapidly depleting Amazon
Since when is midnight considered late night? I don’t need to be subjected to comedians. I will go to sleep rather than laugh at your inanities! HAHA! #badatthreats
Central Time Zone loser.
It’s after 1am dammit.
It’s only 10 here
You hush now.
That still stings.
“Wrong side of the date line, bitch!”
-totally a direct quote about you from people in Vietnam
Alright…. so what…..
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a170019077d4d8594925802711adf706/tumblr_o6xl7qizxQ1uixajwo1_500.gif
how many feeds are there?
I want some samba gifs
Some of these countries have like 200k citizens but we insist on keeping the USA under one roof?
This would be a better ceremony if, in Portuguese, ‘Palestine’ and ‘Israel’ were at the start of the alphabet.
THE BEARS HAVE NO WRs HAHAHAHHAHA. AND LET’S ALL EVALUATE CUTLER AGAIN!!
Shit. What happened?
Jeffrey – hamstring
royal – concussion
Miller – Concussion
White – held out of practice, fans wildy speculating that he’s actually hurt
Tebow can catch the ball!
Goddamn it.
Thank you for doing a better summary than I currently have the patience to do. This. This is what happened.
Cheer up – Brandon Marshall might be available again soon.
They might indeed.
Goddamn it.
I’m about to be really angry about my neighborhood, and while shit is worse than it has been in years, it’s really not that bad, and I still walk outside at all hours if I goddamn feel like it. So I’m not going to be super angry. I’m going to brush my teeth and go to sleep and have delicious thoughts.
Olympic memories
And that was our shitty Dream Team
WTF:
http://memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Facepalm-Meme-Picard-14.jpg
Nepal is here. They’re sure to take home a medal in, uh….earthquakes.
And altitude. They will fucking OWN you when it come to altitude.
If the sport of carrying white people shit up the mountain for twenty trips, while they get all the press and then they risk their lives to save some twat who didn’t do his shit and shouldn’t even be on the big mountain in the first place where a game they’d sweep the fucking medals.
/end Sherpa rant
At least White People discovered the Pacific on their own!
AND the specific.
Currently, there is an MLB baseball player named Chris Davis and another named Kris Davis.
That’s Peter King weird!
Rather, KHRIS Davis because his parents were smart enough to realize the letter C is a fraud.
Chris Davis also kinda hot.
/totally not gay
For the non-baseballers:
http://l3.yimg.com/bt/api/res/1.2/nHvcli5KmaWBRjKunbrEXA–/YXBwaWQ9eW5ld3NfbGVnbztpbD1wbGFuZTtxPTc1O3c9NjAw/http://media.zenfs.com/en/person/Ysports/chris-davis-baseball-headshot-photo.jpg
Women can tell when another woman is hot. Men can do the same damn thing, but generally don’t, because for some reason exercising basic observational skills is gay. Cheers to you, and because I trust your judgement, feel free to send me hot pictures of men.
I know you didn’t just ask for my entire dickpic collection…..?
Well, not all at once….
/paces self
//where’s that damned camera when I need it?
http://67.media.tumblr.com/57bf381ebe58e17d785c439992099148/tumblr_mmswn7Zg3G1s7imdpo1_400.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/f4f8e590046fadd6b18e460e376ac351/tumblr_o8mkyehaSD1tvcsmqo1_500.gif
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http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/70/20/b7ba76b21dd22e2b5386316807457595.jpg
Mozambique in flannel?
These fuckers have grit!
http://qz.com/743526/hillary-clintons-husband-wore-a-fetching-pantsuit-to-honor-her-nomination-for-us-president/
That was just too awesome.
SPLOOSH!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/15457adbeb89479d0d4042b930d8a1dd/tumblr_o4rgmwFL001qe4ru4o1_540.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/3dc57650ef5be54c82aa66f34fb647b7/tumblr_mqlwtlP0Wz1snakiqo1_500.jpg
“And here comes the Sudan team.”
Eleven guys in ‘Carolina Panthers Super Bowl 50 Champions’ walk out….
So who ended up lighting the torch? Also, I am currently drinking a Czech’rd Past from Chatham Brewing. I approve of both the name and the beer and have to polish this sixer by Sunday night so I should get myself another one.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3pedgL5T6JY/UcUl5_Rg0lI/AAAAAAAADAU/51R1RCrXPdQ/s1600/burn+it+down.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/6a3ad1d8f1de64ab5fadfaa52c8b43b0/tumblr_oaa2bf9QNf1u1vkloo1_540.jpg
Baltimore Futon
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3cea7bdd0e201cd4d23ebd941d1f473f/tumblr_n5a5qqrjAk1qewacoo6_500.gif
‘Bout time you fucking arrived. Busy day at the dispensary? And where’s my fucking care package?
/calls Fedex
http://66.media.tumblr.com/cc4ab1cb13f66f7f5f33d4a552dd2ab8/tumblr_n415oqPOQI1qik1pro8_1280.png