[is floating on a metaphorical cloud because the Giants didn’t blow a close one]
Hey! What? How are you doing? [shakes cobwebs from head] TO THE GAME!
Phi/Chi-What is there to like about these two teams? The Eagles are in a weird spot because of Kelly’s shenanigans and the Bears are a teenage girl’s embodiment of the phrase “What. Ever!” Okay. I’ll give it a try. Eagles wr Matthews benefited the most from qb Wentz’ not-lousy debut. He went for 7/114/1. He could do more damage against Bears cb’s that have recently been rated as “meh”. Last week qb Cutler was all kinds of meh as well, sporting a 16-29/216/1TD/1INT line. Perhaps if we all get/continue to be high this game turns out to be watchable.* Despite being at home I’m thinking that the Bears end up at 0-2. Not that I’m cheering for the Eagles. No way.
NOW LET’S HAVE SOME FUN OUT THERE!!!
*does anyone have some spare glue I could borrow?
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/721/985/1ec.gif
I feel like this is going to become a mainstay
yes, just pretend you’re hurt you fucking worthless asshole
/drunk AP owner
//knew better than to pick him
WALK IT OFF
Oh no! Not Purple Jesus knee! Please let it just be a taint injury.
I didn’t see his kid out there with a switch looking for revenge
Shit, that kid’s really gonna get it now.
Ruh-roh!
Goddamn it, Green Bay. Philly wants an early draft pick to go along with what will likely be their other early draft pick.
The one official with the view of the ball at the end of the play fights to set the spot. 3 officials that were 1 behind, 1 ahead and 1 completely view obstructed subtly touch it and move it back slightly each time til it was short.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cj3FxpK_Sug/VAv_ETdyP2I/AAAAAAACofo/D1F6ZN6QpMo/s1600/menu-mirunas-super-takeway-sri-lankan-restaurant-pendle-hill-sydney%2B7-09-2014%2B12-58-24%2BPM.jpg
I would destroy a lot here. I assume they have sauces
What do you think is holding the signs on the board?
So does this count as a “turnover” that gets reviewed automatically (re the spot of the ball), or would GB have to challenge?
Oh, and [dick joke]
http://media.finnair.com/Rethink/quality/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/blog35pix1.jpg
I really hope it uses white sauce.
It didn’t.
You couldn’t really taste anything but the paprika.
How was the after-meal cigar?
I had this instead.
http://cdn.thefederalist.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IMG_6389-998×664.jpg
It tasted like battery acid with a floral note.
Ah, just like the dress
Shoulda spent extra for Duocum. Twice the protein.
Looks like they turned on the vibrating thing before everyone got set up.
So I’m all for going for it, but you’re in field goal range and down 3.
Dafuq?
Captain BlueBunny strikes again.
As I said before, if Sitton was cut for criticizing McCarthy’s coaching strategies, then I’m glad the Bears signed that genius.
They just did the “In Memoriam” segment on the Emmys and those assholes apparently already forgot about Harambe.
No one had their dicks out in solidarity?
I did, then my daughter left the room screaming. I guess she hates endangered gorillas as much as the Emmys.
Was she screaming:
Oh No! Not Again!
just curious
Also, I apologize in advance for how in horrible taste this joke is
No apologies necessary. Your concern for her is well placed.
Dammit Girardi, way to leave another pitcher in too long.
/Walks into adjacent locker
He’s turning into Torre. I’m having Tanyon Sturtze flashbacks.
Lest we forget:
http://scottproctorsarm.blogspot.com/
My PTSD has returned. Thanks for that.
hahahahaha oh my good lord what the hell was that
I heard a rumor that Captain Munnerlyn sucked at the game Hot Potato as a kid.
Unlike Cam, Aaron has no problem going down for balls
Green Bay is obnoxiously lucky
Captain Munnerlyn clearly does not deserve to wear a starfleet uniform.
there are no words
How the fuck do you not come up with that one Vikings?
reuhq
Me too.
http://i.imgur.com/vBjyHCB.png
“Mexicy” Shawarma?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/c8e8773757362eaf44282cb5cb63f02f/tumblr_nnxp8fZmZ41rkhkw8o1_400.gif
Also, Middle Eastern restaurants/food carts always have excellent french fries. FACT.
what’s the matter chris, have to call the game impartially for once?
http://gallery.photo.net/photo/17256974-md.jpg
you’d thing, being down 30 fantasy points, having the 2 starting tailbacks would give me a decent chance to win.
you’d be wrong
Sigh, same boat brocky, same boat. AP, Fat lacy v Cook and ia m about to go to bed angry
What the fuck league are you in that you have both Lacy and AP?
10 team 8th pick snake draft
I think at the draft, the commissioner or whoever should have to announce exactly how traded picks came to pass. So when Philly makes their first selection in April, Goodell has to go “remember, Minnesota believes this next player and one more in a later round are together worth less than Sam Bradford”
It’s tough to imagine anything being worth less than a Sam Bradford
Neighbor kid is doing something so wrong with a basketball that it sounds like a lub-dub with like 5-10 seconds in between each beat. Is it the OCD or is that spine-crumbling fucking annoying? He’s a nice kid and that is all that is keeping me from putting on pants, walking across the street, and stabbing the ball of a six year-old with a steak knife.
THAT’S NOT HOW YOU DRIBBLE, SON! That’s not how anyone dribbles!
I hear a lub,
/CB stabs everyone
but I don’t hear a dub.
//Bodies it the ground
There it is!
Hi Doctor Nick!
Vikings toughness means not flinching when your kids need to take a switch to the nuts
“That’s over the line,”
-The Great Santini
Listen Sam. Throw it to Diggs. Over and over again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybrTlJOOBas
Where the fuck did the turkey pies go????
Eddy Lacy’s belly.
You guys, character actress Margo Martindale won an Emmy.
Unfortunately it wasn’t for Bojack.
Mags Bennett?
Is it me or the booze but is this game the sleepiest all day?
I didn’t watch it but that 9-3 STL/SEA game doesn’t strike me as seat-gripping.
This is way more sleepy.
/could be the wine
WOO 2ND HALF WOO LET’S GOOOOOO!
http://share.gifyoutube.com/Kz9WZQ.gif
/actually might just watch Stone Cold instead
The Rifftrax of Stone Cold is incredible.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSlkY6qO7BI
I got bored and made this, happy late sexy friday
I’m still learning the whole “learn to make gifs” correctly thing
If tWBS weren’t still driving, he’d take this gif and excuse himself to go masturbate.
Since NBC won’t show the tribute……
https://youtu.be/a_czx0hWPlI
http://midtownlunch.com/files/2013/02/Gyro-King-menu.jpg
Can we get some Shawarma next?
http://66.media.tumblr.com/338a2ec69a7af3c4d0f6e2751b37bdb1/tumblr_mgsvrzAcnO1rzpr0ho3_500.gif
I thought this dude died!
Nah, Bradford should be out to at least start the second half.
Cousins going to get RG3ed
Jesus… Dak and Poise… drink!
I’m carbornara-ing harder than anyone has ever carbonara’d.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm bacon cooking is so delicious
My slow cooker pozole was damn satisfying.
But it ain’t no carbonara. Dayumn.
Dan: So, Tony and Rodney, what do you think of this game?
Tony: It would be much better if Peyton Manning was involved.
Rodney: blah blah blah Patriots blah blah blah
How did you get the leaked script?!
There’s something missing in that script…
http://2new2.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/5662735+_acec731af195ce0d0f7d37e8baf6a616.jpg
Are we doing Zero Punctuation references now?
I think it’s just me.
cummings’d
Why is beef jerky so expensive?
Because the workers at the factory eat half of it. Wouldn’t you?
Not enough corn syrup.
Bc Obama? 🙁
Man we should have commemorated last Sunday when everyone said something about Bob Costas felating Tom Brady at the same time
Evening everyone. Did I mention while I was chatting these fine-ass commentists earlier this afternoon someone hit someone else’s car in the parking lot? Not even like a corner or something, a serious sideswipe.
Good times. How goes it in not Eagles/Bears?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3azSqv9Nhrg/U6WINtBdsEI/AAAAAAAADT4/IIBCc-l0Nyk/s1600/menu+2.png
Yet Anudder Beastmode Halftime Special
The song:
The lyrics:
There’s a stadium in Minnesota
And there’s a team that plays their games
Free agents, they come and go
Zimmer don’t even know their names
And there’s a quarterback
And he gets knocked down
They say Bradford, can you move around
And he gets knocked down again
They say, “Bradford, you’re a QB
What a bad trade this will be
You could throw picks all the day
From your own twenty”
Now Bradford, he’s not looking good
When he steps in the pocket
He’s dripping blood
He’s standing up once again
Oops, down he goes again
He’s getting knocked all around
He just can’t stand his ground
He’ll be injured before the season’s done
The Vikings are no fun
Bradford, you’re a QB
What a bad trade this will be
But your life will be shortened against a good D
Bradford has dead doll eyes
And his wrist is all banged and gory
He knows that if he does rise
He’s gonna be really sorry
Zimmer knows his job is done
The owners will give him the can
And Bradford’s best game won’t save that man
One day, when the stadium is done
Bradford won’t be having fun
He’s gonna know this was his last chance
But the fans are all gonna say
Bradford, you’re a QB
What a bad trade this will be
But your life will be shortened against a good D
+ 1 hit wonder