Last week I told you about some “scary” mountainous dealings, including myself needing CTE protocol attention. This week, the scary is fun.
So yeah, this week is tailor made for Sexy Friday IMHO. Halloween is but three days away. People dressing up in costume, pretending to be something they are not.
That sounds deep. Maybe even hypocritical. It’s not intended to be either. Halloween is about having fun and there is nothing wrong with that.
FWIW, I love Halloween. Always have, always will. Any night when a kid (or in many cases, an adult) can go begging door to door for food….AND ACTUALLY REASONABLY EXPECT TO GET IT, without being shot or worse…derided as being a hobo, even if dressed up like one…is a good night in my book. Never mind that the aforementioned food will likely take the form of candy.
I mean, HOW GREAT IS THAT??????????
Plus, I don’t have to try to come up with some bullshit theme this week…so BONUS!!! Like I said…tailor made.
Incidentally tWBS loves candy. He doesn’t eat it much these days, because he doesn’t want to get fat(ter) than he already is. But he loves it.
/realizes 3rd person sounds arrogant
I really do love candy. Especially chocolate. I’ve got a glass pumpkin downstairs filled with Hershey’s miniatures and Reese’s Pumpkins right now. It mocks me as I avoid its yummy contents. But the niece loves it, so there you go.
And while chocolate is my favorite, any sweets will do in a pinch when I get that urge which cannot be overcome. Where I live currently is out in the sticks, to be sure. We get maybe a half dozen Trick or Treaters on a heavy year. Last year we had none. That’s OK. That just means I get to eat the candy without having to be bothered answering the door every 2 minutes for your little bastard. Win-win.
So what else do I love about Halloween? Scary movies for one thing. There’s nothing better than coming home from Trick or Treating, and curling up with the one you love and watching whatever terrible horror movie might be on. The worse the movie, the better the experience. Because it’s not about the movie per se…it’s about being near the one you love. Shared space. Shared experience. There’s nothing better.
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Then there’s the whole pageantry of costumes. We’ll come back to that in the SEXAY portion later, to be sure.
But seriously, getting out of your own head, even if only temporarily, and becoming someone else? It can be very therapeutic to say the least. Plus, taking a kid Trick or Treating, and getting into the moment fully by dressing up along with said kid? Seeing the joy in that kid’s face, and sharing in it? Well, if you haven’t done that as an adult, then you are missing out. Trust me.
So get dressed up, take a kid door to door, and beg for food. You’ll be glad you did. Alyson Hannigan knows what I’m talking ’bout….
Then come home and watch a terrible scary movie with someone you love. Even if it’s only your dog or cat. Again, you’ll be glad you did.
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The Scary World of Sports
Baseball
Tuesday night, the Cubs were all like….
Wednesday, it was more like….
Yep, after two games in Cleveland, the two sets of lovable (?) losers are knotted at one game a piece as the World Series shifts to ChiTown. Wrigley is about to host its first World Series game in 71 years. How many times do ya think Joe Buck will tell us that tonight? Games 3, 4 and 5 in Chicago are tonight thru Sunday, all at 8pm EDT on FOX. Games 6 and 7 (if necessary) will shift back to Cleveland next Tuesday and Wednesday.
Kyle Schwarber beat the hell out of the baseball from the DH spot in games 1 and 2. One little problem though…his knee is not medically cleared to play in the field yet. Thusly, now shifting to the NL park his opportunities will likely be limited.
And Max Scherzer is apparently going to have a rocky offseason at this rate. Can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing tho.
Football
Thursday Night Football was a thing again last night as the Titans hosted the Jaguras. I really don’t want to talk about this game. It wasn’t merely that it was a shit feast of colours so alarming to the eye that I was briefly tempted to hook up the old 13″ black and white Sylvania. Yes you whippersnappers…we used to have TV’s with no colour and screens so tiny they’d give you a headache. Though not as bad as the mix of colours last night.
But the game itself was…it was…well, it was Thursday Night Football. ‘Nuff said. In the end, the Titans pounded on the Jags for 60 minutes, then the Jags got some garbage time scores, and everybody went home less than satisfied. The 36-22 Final was certainly not indicative of the “taken behind the woodshed” aspect in this one.
Hockey
I still haven’t watched much hockey. I’m sad about this, actually. For an unemployed asshead, I seem to have too little free time. But once again, here’s tonight’s slate if you care…
- NYR @ CAR – 7:30pm
- CHI @ NJD – 7:30pm
- WIN @ COL – 9:00pm
- OTT @ CAL – 9:00pm
- EDM @ VAN – 10:00pm
- COL @ ANA – 10:00pm
Basketball
I haven’t watched one second of the NBA. Nor am I likely to until the playoffs, and even then it will be only if I’m bored. But did happen to see that D.Wade scored 22 in his “homecoming debut” with Chicago. As a result, his Bulls currently sit in a 7 way tie for the top playoff seed in the Eastern Conference (too soon?). And Sacramento’s new arena got off to an appropriate beginning as the Spurs crashed the party. As a result, those jerks sit in the top spot of the Western all by themselves.
Here’s tonight’s roundball slate…
- CLE @ TOR – 7:00pm (ESPN)
- IND @ BRK – 7:30pm
- ORL @ DET – 7:30pm
- PHX @ OKC – 8:00pm
- CLT @ MIA – 8:00pm
- HOU @ DAL – 8:30pm
- LAL @ UTH – 9:00pm
- GSW @ NOJ – 9:30pm (ESPN)
I’m gonna spare all of you the golf talk this week. But only because I’m angry at the entire game of golf at the moment. Plus I gotz lots of Halloween SEXAY to get to. So, with no further ado…..
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How to do Halloween Sexily
OK. So as I said earlier, Halloween is tailor made for Sexy Friday. And you’re about to get the most SEXAY I’ve ever given you. And probably the most I’ll give you for quite a while. But Halloween inspires me for some reason. So sit back, crack open a beer, and enjoy.
Sexy costumes are nothing new, of course. There are the old stand by’s. Which isn’t intended to be a criticism in any way whatsoever. There’s a reason they’re old stand by’s. And I’m probably forgetting some, but off the top of my head you have….
The Sexy Cop…
The Sexy Nurse…
The Sexy Devil…
The Sexy Maid…
And the Sexy Witch…
And as I said before, these are some common stand by’s. So to some degree they’ve become a bit dated and stale IMHO. But that’s not to say that they can’t do the job. There are even minor “adjustments” which can make them…well, let’s just call it “fresh”, shall we?
For instance, Candace’s take on the Devil thing is…not bad…
And the Sexy Witch can be done in a much more elegant and sexy way, with a little imagination…
But one can also think outside the box. I’d especially love to see this one show up at the Halloween party if only to make EVERYONE there gasp…
The Sexy Nun…
For good and memorable costumes tho, one can take a variation on a known entity. Star Wars, for instance…
Sticking with movies just for the moment, sometimes a good horror movie can also inspire a good genderbend on a theme. Freddy ain’t looking so bad these days. Just saying…
These days tho, most of the really good costumes seem to be related to comics or kids’ cartoons. The latter of which seems…well, never mind. Here’s an assortment…
Black Widow…
Catwoman…
Jessica Rabbit is always appreciated when done well…
Lady Death seems like she’d be perfect for a sexy Halloween, but you don’t see her much I’m sad to say. Maybe the milky contacts make it difficult to see?
And of course this year, Harley Quinn will be all the rage…
And Mary Jane, while very simple, certainly is one that’s sure to please…
But to really make a guy feel awkward and question his choices in life, nothing beats…
Sexy Misty…
Or Sexy Velma…
**At this point I had planned to share with you the unquestioned queen (princess?) of cosplay, etc….my future wife even if she doesn’t know it yet, Miss Sara Jean Underwood. Her cosplays are…well, they are not terrible. But this is already getting too long and cumbersome. I think we’ll just have to wait and do her…..errrrr THAT, next week. Yay, next week’s theme already decided so I can drink heavily early in the week next week….woooo!!!
We’ll call it a post-Halloween Sexy Friday. Or maybe just “Sara Jean is a Goddess”. Either works.
/calls DTZM
//asks how firm (heh) the no bare boobies rule actually is
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So for now, it’s the ladies’ turn…
Superman costumes have gotten easier apparently…
Caveman with a banana hammock? Sure, why not?
Don’t forget ladies, this guy can’t do shit on land. Just saying…
And of course, last but not least, the fireman always seems to please…
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OK, a nice Autumn photo of my own creation should probably go here I guess. Let’s see what I’ve got….ah, here’s one…
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Welp, that’s all I got this week. I hope you all have a great weekend. And also a great Halloween, however you choose to spend it.
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Fuck
http://68.media.tumblr.com/253bb2c62b602264ac49afb7756a0953/tumblr_o67oadKa6k1tlrqi3o4_r1_250.gif
No, Google, I am not interested in “shoulder”
Would fucking love to see a pitch in the dirt skip away
Game getting *really* interesting here…
Entire room of people I was with was fucking standing.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/0dff37e0ecc3b0e965e27d911c2d9dfa/tumblr_muia6bOyLi1ric2iqo1_500.jpg
Also, where the fuck is everybody?
Watching MST3K clips and reading people on a listserv discuss the Bundy trial.
I think Obama should just have them killed. He’s ordered the assassinations of American citizens for far less.
Hi.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a2d21404cf5c06279bed8d6ac85ccfe7/tumblr_n6f2bxEhNX1ryvclko1_250.gif
I’m at Wrigley, in a de-luxe booth
Come on, Uncle Mo!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/f5e1db057124968e2b6e0071dd5d8ec1/tumblr_ofe0n7FQwM1r39i1to1_500.gif
Moose, what’s with the new avatar?
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–HKpWNXB2–/c_fit,f_auto,fl_progressive,q_80,w_320/k6ndmz0rozx0ybd18cy7.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/414ef6f52283972a20421ae8f0189a6e/tumblr_muzhee1VqD1qedb29o1_500.gif
91 mph slider is fucking increíble
I had a slider from TGIF’s and and that came out at 92 mph.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/eee53c6827d4c7fa8451d8862e1961f0/tumblr_mua06rGdFB1r3gb6ao1_500.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/dd2547ef1f41c9e9317ba5cbe31b5a5d/tumblr_ofjt3tKj5q1shd9xeo1_1280.jpg
As always….
Fuck Mike Pence
Hell no
http://67.media.tumblr.com/82f1bbfd6d13298d605623328f92de45/tumblr_ofmmmprp321ric2iqo1_1280.gif
So apparently Russell Westbrook had 51 points. And a triple-double.
And only won by three.
That’s nothing. Last week I messed around and got me a triple double. Didn’t even have to use my AK, gotta say it was a good day.
http://frothygirlz.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/unamused.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/7768eb8c3dadd30d8af78d6fc8bb5082/tumblr_of6cm4xHWD1s02vreo1_500.gif
http://66.media.tumblr.com/516ba1cb9728e753549203702f8d971e/tumblr_ofh51c96pf1vd6nt8o2_500.gif
Bryce Harper: Why aren’t you streaming my game?
Kid: Because you sucked this postseason and got your ass eliminated.
Harper: /sobs
http://67.media.tumblr.com/85523cbc1dfa399a87fa026d8985aa5c/tumblr_nwwbj1FWPX1ric2iqo7_1280.jpg
That was a fun GIS rabbithole.
Oh. I didn’t realize that was Maitland Ward at first. Yeah. Her bodypaint “costume” from this year’s San Diego Comic Con was especially awesome.
WE NEED A CASE OF THE RUNS!
–Cubs fans and heavy opiod users
Joe, Chicago and Cleveland are fairly close to each other, so the fact that their weather is similar shouldn’t be shocking. It ain’t Juneau to San Juan assmunch.
Fact: I haven’t ever met someone who hates the cubs that wasn’t generally dislikable.
Happy SFriday mfers – How much vodka could a vodka vodka if a vodka could vodka vodka?
Answer? Vodka!
http://static2.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1498753.1382966476!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/index_635_390/390-vodka-1028.jpg
What does it say about me that I just got angry that she livetweeted the whole jail process while Sandra Bland was murdered in jail by Texas shitkicker cops?
Bill Murray is drunker than all of us commenting tonight combined.
Shpeak for yourshelf
If I met Bill Murray on the street, I’d probably think he’s some crazy guy. I would not be wrong, but it would be in the best ways.
The “uber boy”? Isn’t that what Jerry Richardson calls Cam Newton?
I don’t think JR could say Nietzsche much less read him.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/320963c41aa658362e0eb45411dc3250/tumblr_mupybgfLkJ1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
This is one of the best Far Sides ever.
Brick; try this one:
h
ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/270d9accf6abd2be92f6225b07137d4b/tumblr_of7k6gF1pC1u4fjsto1_1280.jpg
OOOOOHHH I KNOW THAT ONE WELL!!!!!
That Duracell commercial is less uplifting if you figure >40% of those kids are probably terminal and dead by Christmas.
Insurmountable?
Hey Max; give your wife the fucking address to Goodwill or some such and stop putting useful things in the fucking landfill.
Fancy drink time.
Joe Buck rhyming, in case you didn’t think it could get any worse.
In hindsight I wonder if the Yanks could’ve gotten more for Miller…
You know what’s been bothering me (other than the Cubs not scoring runs)? These teams are both in the Central time zone, yet they have to start at 8:08 pm eastern to oblige the MLB scheduling gods. Why not start at 6:05 central and not make me stay up so fucking late? #fuckthewestcoast
Helluva game so far.
Miller scares me. I’m pretty sure he’s the apocalyptic AI threat io9 has been warning me about for years.
Big fucking stones on Edwards
Agreed.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/2c7c8ebd3a8e9df0e9bdb5715aef0bbc/tumblr_ng1499WXab1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
On the back of that cross, it says “shave your unibrow.”
Snake charmer
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/51163/7d944c511624761.jpg
Cowgirl
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51163/47018f511624769.jpg
Biker
http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/51163/e19240511624776.jpg
Uh…
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51163/e7453a511624757.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lj1pd12QaB1qa9yvvo1_500.gif
Film Noir P.I.
http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/51163/9fead9511624772.jpg
Hold my baby, dude.
– No guy ever
I want to punch that guy as hard as I can, for eternity.
I hate idiots who assume every fly ball is a home run.
BACK, BACK, BACK, BACK…
Good Lord, that man is ugly.
There are actually two distilleries in my neighborhood (that is, two on one street There may be more). This is in front of one.
Man, I used to drink a LOT of gin, and since moving on to whiskey, I haven’t gone back very often. I think I will need to change that.
I’ve yet to go in for a tasting. I’m just not a big fan of gin. Makes me even meaner
Gin makes you sin, and sin makes FOAR the best stories ,, ppl forget that
I read your comment from last night about wanting to write my memoirs… No, man, you do NOT want to do that. But one day we’ll sit around and I’ll tell you a bunch of fun stories.
Marcus, why are we watching American Horror Story Hotel?
The missus enjoys it Jerry. Is Halloweenie. That and we don’t care about beisbol all that much ‘member?
Oh I ‘member Marcus! But WHAT are we watching?
/sexay with stabby, drugs, and a strap-on flashes by
I’ve no idea Jerry. No idea.
I tried watching the new season. How are you supposed to build suspense for your characters when they are the ones on-screen, telling us something happening in a flashback? WE KNOW THEY FUCKING SURVIVED, IDIOTS.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yQl4yJ6t6VI/VUcnpnRU-UI/AAAAAAAAN9w/JZH8dlQmJ5o/s1600/0SzxAHy.gif
You stopped watching too soon.
I’m okay with that. Kind of like Westworld. It’s not that I don’t know what’s going on, but that I don’t really care. It’s the only thing I’m watching and it’s interesting enough to hold my attention.
Double play celebratory trip to the bathroom followed by fresh beer!