Your “Y’know, In The Rest of the World It’s Just ‘Thursday'” Thanksgiving Night Game Open Thread

Please, allow me to extend to you some traditional Canadian US-Thanksgiving hospitality.

Have a slice.

Maybe make a small plate and take it into your den, because I hope you’ve got room for one more game. Your old pal Roger has gifted you the Steelers & Colts. YINZERS & HUMPS, BAY-BEE!

News of note:

  • Injuries:
    • HODOR is out. He couldn’t clear concussion protocol in time, which is also the euphemism Jim Irsay uses to explain why he can’t make a court-order drug test. So get ready, fantasy owners of the Steelers defence, it’s TOLZIEN TIME!!!
      • listed as questionable: Donte Moncrief (hamstring)
    • Steelers backup RB Karlos Williams has been suspended 10 games for a second substance-abuse violation this season.
      • will-play-but-injured: Sammie Coates (fingers)
  • John Madden took a run at having Thursday football every week, and how it makes the games bad. Somehow, some way, Goodell is going to try and find a way to punish both NBC and MCI Coach. (FYI: Here’s a link to a story about the old Madden cruiser.)

Pittsburgh at Indianapolis – 8:30

On paper, this shouldn’t even be close. Luck is sharing pain meds with his owner, and one of his key receivers has a gimpy leg. Jim Irsay has probably been screaming Peyton’s name at Ryan Grigson all day, druggedly alternating between demanding he be signed by 5:00 and trying to force-feed their other quarterbacks Brain & Nerve Tonic to try and replicate what they did to Manning. Scott Tolzien is not a good quarterback, so the full “Blitzburgh” defence should be on display in order to keep him guessing and provoke numerous three-and-outs & more turnovers than a Sara Lee factory.

[FYI: Sara Lee is owned by Bimbo Bakeries USA, the American corporate arm of the Mexican multinational bakery product manufacturing company Grupo Bimbo. Make sure to point that out after racist Uncle Karl finishes his slice of pie.]

AND YET! We all know that this is the kind of game that also gives rise to the “Shitsburgh” moniker. Ben should be able to pass for 500 yards to AB et al, but yet something inside Mike Tomlin always seems to make him either take pity on the opposing team or try experimentation because it should be that easy, with both concepts ultimately leading to a Steelers 2-point loss. It’s the kind of game where he tries to use the wishbone formation with a flea-flicker thrown in. It’s maddening yet predictable. If Sill were still here, I know what he’d say

Anyway, enough talk.

Prediction: Steelers 38, Colts 10.

If they were at home, I’d take 14 points off the Steelers, because of the cuteness factor. But on the road Tomlin’s less likely to try the bullshit.

Hopefully, you’ve sent the relatives home and can enjoy the game on your own terms. Alcohol is mandatory. PANTS ARE OPTIONAL!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

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Porky Prime

Hey everyone, off to bed but hoping everyone had a nice holiday.

I’m a mailman, so…this next month is going to be a bit of a gauntlet. Basically, see you next year.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Have a good one Porky!

Unsurprised

Holy shit. My neighbor was a mailman in ABQ for fifty years. Finally retired in like 2011-12.

Don T

Take care man. Best wishes to you and your family.

WCS
Sharkbait

Seinfeld > post game coverage.

Doktor Zymm

Tivoed Archer for me

Sharkbait

Best Christmas movie.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Even with Anti Semite Gibson, I maintain Lethal Weapon is a slightly better Christmas movie

Croooow

On a much lighter note: I had a good Thanksgiving. Hope everyone else here did too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I see I made the right choice turning off the game with Pittsburgh up two scores in the first half.

Romonobyl

Switched over to local news and commenced gnawing on the ham bone like some kind of Raiders fan. Prob time to call it a night.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Any sentence that ends with “like some kind of Raiders fan” is probably good cause for self-reflection

laserguru

I have to fucking work tomorrow.
Not retail.
Stupid Air Force.
Stupid national defense.

I actually love my job.

Let’s see what happens when I press this button.

Romonobyl

Same here, but Navy.

laserguru

Yep, if the customer is open guess we’re open.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Let’s see what happens when I press this button.”

Nice Trump impression.

Unsurprised

The last line between him and Armageddon is a military officer who I hope would sooner beat him to death with the nuclear football than unlock it for him.

Doktor Zymm

My last job I went to work on black Friday. My boss and I were the only people there. After an hour she just told me to go home. Even with lots of people there, I’m guessing tomorrow will be a laid back sort of day, hope it’s fun!

jjfozz

Time to start burning shit down, this place is boring

Sharkbait

img/68/6878dd670dd6b43b02d068b7200ae5c6d923ddb08133a8aff32739cff7465740

Croooow

I dunno why it gets on my nerves, but it always bugs me whenever they say “Steeler (or Patriots or Packers) fans travel well!”. I’m willing to bet most of them actually live there.

Doktor Zymm

It’s basically saying that those cities are crappy enough that lots and lots of people leave, but not quite so crappy that they can’t afford to leave.

Sharkbait

Ha! Joke’s on you! New England isn’t a city!

*remembers is currently in New Hampshire.*

Fuck.

Doktor Zymm

Do they schedule the shitty games last on Thanksgiving because they assume everyone will be too drunk/asleep to care?

Recovery Whiskey

Paul: still a shill, just changed shirts

King Hippo

yeah NBC, we really needed that “no coaches’ challenges during last 2:00” for this shitburger

Recovery Whiskey

Welp the dinner is done and the inlaws are gone. Football sadly is over. Happy fkn holiday, peoples

King Hippo

the shittiest Shitsgiving that ever was shatted out!

Doktor Zymm

There’s probably some news footage of people killing each other to buy shit at Target, that’s sort of like football, but no one is a winner.

Senor Weaselo

We are because we’re not them.

King Hippo

but we could be watching a REAL LIVE MURDER!!

jjfozz

One could hope

laserguru

You as well.
Hope you some help with the dishes.

Sharkbait

Farmers: we’ve seen some shit

Shogun Marcus

Due to the presence of actual no-fucking-shit Nazis now being allowed to roam free in the land, grammar nazis will now be the Alt-Write.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Can we hold this one in reserve for next week’s Banner Comment?

jjfozz

I want to get really really really fucked up

laserguru

Pass that shit on over brother man.

Recovery Whiskey

Still time for a Hodor? Hodor.

Doktor Zymm

Man, I wish there was more football on after this.

Senor Weaselo

I watched an intermittent 5-10 minutes of football. I’m clearly not ‘Murican enough.

Doktor Zymm

I missed most of the first game cause cooking, the second game was good, but DC lost which was disappointing when they played as well as they did, and this game has made me wince a whole lot, so football watching has been a bit hit or miss for me today. Another game would give me another chance.

King Hippo

I had to listen to the end of the two good games on the radio, like it was the 1950s. But I got home for almost all of this mess.

Sharkbait

Why the fuck does an adult elf onsie exist?

Doktor Zymm

Something Something Millenials

Recovery Whiskey

Hey thats my fetish

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’m sure you have a co-worker that could answer that question for you.

Redshirt

Alright. Steelers won. I’m hitting the stuffing.

Night.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Isn’t it about time someone posted the “He’s aleady dead!” Simpsons gif?

Doktor Zymm

Indianapolis : Where QBs go to have their virgin brains sacrificed to the concussion gods

Recovery Whiskey

Garbage yards may now commence

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Blake Bortles: You called?

Unsurprised

Boss Todd looks like he’s about to send a disappointing and unsolicited dick pick.

Doktor Zymm

I just had the very frightening thought of Boss Todd on Tinder

Shogun Marcus

LEFT! LEFT!

jjfozz

Can someone send me drugs? Now!

King Hippo

you didn’t raid the medicine cabinet during jubilee time? AMATEUR

WCS

Chris Hardwick stars in: It’s Not Plinko!

Sharkbait

The wall: plinko on steroids?

laserguru

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j73OsXo19vI

We’ve gone full 70’s tonight.

litre_cola

Read your caption first and honestly assumed it was a youporn link. Which also makes sense

Sharkbait

How many scores is that Antonio?

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Senor Weaselo

That’s four pumps, definitely more than two.

Unsurprised

Why are you fucks watching this minutes before it airs on the tv I’m watching?

WCS

We’re from the Not Too Distant Future.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

My real name is Slightly Newer School Zer

Shogun Marcus

Next Sunday A.D.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

Good news? My fantasy opponent benched Prater for Boswell. Cost him like 9 points. Bad news? Uh…a minor matter in the form of Kirk Cousins.

Shogun Marcus

Please see banner quote.

Doktor Zymm

So pissed I started Cam instead of Kirk. I kinda knew he was gonna have a good day, even in a loss, but it’s so hard for me to have any sort of faith in him.

litre_cola

YOU don’t LIKE THAT?

King Hippo

In a sense…took ALL the stress out of my Sunday. So, I can thank him for that.

WCS

BOSS TODD has a pretty damned fine hobo beard going.

Unsurprised

Goes well with the IROC Z28 on blocks on the front lawn.

jjfozz

Prayer circle over, that was extremely fucking uncomfortable

litre_cola

Fozz, are your sins absolved through being in the same room, or has Bleergh already condemned you to a life betting on Shankor?

jjfozz

Bleergh done cast this sinner into a deep pit. It’s more fun down here

WCS

ALL TEH FANTASY POINTS

WCS

Will Smith stars in: Oscar Bait

King Hippo

a/k/a Hippo’s 4th undiagnosed stroke

Redshirt

Pursuit of Happiness 2: Life Sucks Again

King Hippo

Hey, that’s still a pretty long way for a high school janitor to throw a football. AND he made the tackle! That’s first-rate personal responsibility right there!!!

litre_cola

Ballgame?

Sharkbait

Yup.

Sharkbait

My wife made a sweet potato boob joke from Vinatieri’s clip just now. *pours more wine*

Romonobyl

You need to use this to your, and hopefully her, best advantage.

King Hippo

Thanksgiving, NBC style. The black guy likes collard greens ,, no ofence.

ThePirateSloth

WHOOOOOO IT’S RV SALE TIME!

Doktor Zymm

That’s….unfortunate

Redshirt

Only if your name is Tom.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Where Ben gets his RV?

Unsurprised

Hide yo turkeys!

Doktor Zymm

So, the chestnut puree I made turned out to be one of the most delicious things ever, and I just discovered there’s no need to heat it up, it’s almost even better cold!

Unsurprised

Damn. That sounds amazing.

Doktor Zymm

This is basically the recipe I used, except I roasted my own chestnuts, added thyme with the bay leaf, and used cream instead of milk.
http://www.lindasitaliantable.com/chestnut-puree/

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That sounds awesome. I have a feeling that would work well with macadamia nuts too.

Doktor Zymm

Oooh, that would be good. Though one of my favorite parts of macadamias is that unique sort of crunch that they have. Glazed macadamias…mmmmm.

Sharkbait

That was definitely a telestrator dick

Sharkbait

Why aren’t they showing the AFC finalist banner?

WCS

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Romonobyl

I hate to get personal during the footballing, but I gotta share this:
My son is 20 years old, works and is a full time student; he still lives at home while going to school. I started a load of laundry tonight, while checking his pockets I got a surprise! No, not coke, crack of even the dreaded Mary Jane…but a single individually-wrapped condom. I was caught off guard to say the least, but then I remembered he is 20 and has a girlfriend, so I can’t help but be cool with it. He’s currently in Houston visiting his older brother, so I think I’ll just leave the condom by the sink in his bathroom and say nothing. He’s a genuinely good kid, and I can’t help but be impressed by him acting responsibly.
I had to vent, thanks for listening!

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like the right reaction. And kudos to him for being safe!

Shogun Marcus

Is the right call. I mean he is 20. No need to call him on it. My mom took out the trash in my room once before I could, and damned if a used condom stuck to the lid on the way out. I was 16. All she said when I got home was way to be smart, now go get rid of it.

Romonobyl

I’ll admit I’m glad I didn’t find a used one.

Senor Weaselo

I think according to DFO rules you’re supposed to slap him on the ass and say it’s great hustle.

Doktor Zymm

Singapore Air has some pretty good Black Friday fares, valid through September, if anyone’s looking for a trip. Under $700 r/t for pretty much anywhere in Europe or Asia.

Senor Weaselo

I’m still waiting to hear about my China itinerary in December, because I need to read up on airline policies and see if I need one of my grandfather’s beater violins.

Romonobyl

I’ll actually be flying all around Southeast Asia through most of December, including Singapore. Already have my reservations of course…too little too late as usual.

King Hippo

wait, if HODOR is supposed to be resting his brain owie, why is he trying to explain how footbaw works to the guy off the street they gave twenty bucks to pretend to be his backup?

...

So, can we just start drawing dicks on the screen? I don’t even mean waiting for a replay. Just right now. All over Dungy’s face, even.

Doktor Zymm

Writing on balloons with a Sharpie will eventually eat through the rubber and pop the balloon. I know this from college, when we tried to give our friend a balloon girlfriend for his joke birthday gift, but she kept dying.

King Hippo

I think both teams pretty clearly have money on the other side.