As Barry Manilow would caterwaul, “Looks like we made it” to our second Super Bowl as a bunch of kid-like creatures that exist under the DFO banner. Well done everyone! [waits for ecstatic applause to die down] It just goes to show you what can be done with a wee bit of moxie, three cadavers, an empty garage, a government research grant, one teaspoon of wasabi, a pair of cargo shorts from Eddie Bauer, the letter “R”, (“G” can suck it-look at us now buddy, maybe you’ll actually answer your emails in the future) a few bottles of Zantac (150-the extra strength kind), the love of a bi-polar woman, superior gas mileage and some second-hand pot smoke. We’re unbelievably lucky because if you were to combine all these things together at any other point in time you’d not only not get this particular result, you’d more than likely get arrested. I thank God every day that there was no God to interfere with the extraordinarily delicate process that brought this whole thing to fruition. TO THE GAME!
In your daily wanderings across the internubs you may have gleaned that the Falcons of Atlanta are dueling the Patriots of the New England. Based on my long history of watching football I know that each and every member of both teams are going to try their very best to win the game because there is a financial bonus attached to doing so. For some it might be 10k, for others it may be 5 mil-whatever the amount, all participants (including coaches) regard this as “free money” and will do their utmost to have that money dumped into their bank account. Some will secretly record practices, others will intentionally deflate footballs. It’s more than likely that a certain unnamed squad is violating the spirit of a specific rule as I type. I’ve always felt that you are the sum of your actions and not what your guttural one- and two- and three-word responses in press conferences imply.
Okay. Now you know who I’m cheering for. Big whoop. Now it’s time for you folks to chime in. Tell us goobers what you’re up to. What are you cooking? Where are you watching the game? Hey lurker, say hello and let us know that you like what we’re doing and how we might make things better. We’re all ears-except for me, I’m all coccyx. Yeah, that’s right-I’ve got a big coccyx. If you lurk and have a medical degree…please, this condition is not pleasant AT ALL.
Enjoy the game people.
Garoppolo time!
Karma!!!!!! Motherfuckers
Sad Dreamboat got me like:
http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2013112/rs_500x246-131202140124-tumblr_lmlhh3PQpE1qb9pg0o1_500.gif
I don’t even have ladyparts, but goddamn I ovulated.
The bad news is Madre Weaselo has Falcons 4, P*ts 0 in one of her Superb Owl boxes. The good news is HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU DREAMBOAT!
http://i.imgur.com/hXgSyTd.gif
Sweet baby jesus I have never been so happy watching a Super Bowl.
SAD BRADY SIGHTING!!!!!!
Suck it, Trump
Dreamboat pick six?
I’m pretty sure I just came.
That tackle attempt by Brady was just…comedic
Falcons: Flag this!!!!
Sorry Katie
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Katie-Nolan-GIF-05.gif?w=600
It’s a taint!!
oh my god this is so great
No Flag?!?!?!?
INCONCEIVABLE!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxBSyx85Kp8
I think I’m in love.
SUCK ON THAT BRADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I’m assuming all of us are…
http://i48.tinypic.com/f8nb7.jpg
Eh, I ain’t got no dogs in this fight
JJJJJJJIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I have chicken and sirloins marinating in Sensei Sauce (http://www.senseisauce.com), beer, garlic, parsley. Fuck these bullshit Pats friendly calls, I’m gonna grill some delicious meat
Looks much better than my Senpai Sauce…
/highfive
I made the same joke when I saw the bottle in the store. I had to try it
I… need to change my underwear.
YES YES YES OHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAAAHHHHHHHHHH
http://25.media.tumblr.com/97bd0e941923b764d524ddf38c5b4ede/tumblr_mfwdt2ic8l1r9qwd9o1_500.gif
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAx1MILLION
Hahahaha, fuck you Brady.
Welp
PICKKAKKE
http://68.media.tumblr.com/45a9135e0c4bae4d74b505d4c422d392/tumblr_nfc8y2cXkN1s2wio8o3_500.gif
Nice Bodyslam, #97
Oh dear god
http://www.newstatesman.com/science-tech/social-media/2017/02/furred-reich-truth-about-nazi-furries-and-alt-right
I need to get to get. Heroine blackout. Who’s holdin??
Gee, Atlanta could be doing really well in this game if they could just stop playing so dirty.
…This may be your last warning, but the Schadenfreude is particularly strong tonight
Hate.
It’s a powerful word. Wars have been fought and lost, nations have fallen and endless relationships destroyed by the simple use of these four otherwise insignificant letters. Few other words can have such a visceral reaction; once it is used there is rarely any chance of coming back. A heinous crime is made only more so when preceded with the term, the vast majority of society’s problems can be traced to this most unpleasant of emotions.
Keeping all this in mind, my God I fucking hate the fucking Patriots.
Apathy is more powerful than hate. The last election proved that.
What the fuck Atlanta? Stop with the holding.
“Glad to see these so-called referees finally doing their jobs and making the Patriots great again!”
-DT
Jesus fucking christ
THREE times!!!!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4e8e1fcb9daa25c328c5c08ea19f5102/tumblr_nfv3zaBBWJ1qzaebvo1_1280.png
ohcomeon.gif
I didn’t love the Obama bailout, but I’m really, really hating the Trump bailout.
That’s a pile of wombat cubes
And the Patriot bailout calls
Oh fuck you with the holding
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0acd111b303dc1a1ce6cc7da93a1c966/tumblr_ng0l5rUpH21qfmptao1_1280.jpg
They somehow all look like Chris Hogan
(sees ratings drop in New England) Goodell: “Aw Hell, bail out the assholes!”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b78ae0848e38ee8a30d2d2fdfbe9de46/tumblr_ndoss5UUsK1s2yegdo1_400.gif
She should have used a rake!
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/152/813/625.gif
Brady getting AIG bailouts.
Fix is in
Bullshit call.
So, we’re pretending the the Rog still hates the Pats, right?