Kind of a short write-up today. I’m quite hung over. Yes, it was worth it, until the wife finds out I dropped $100 on the evening. Strangely, none of it on strippers; last time I was at one, one of my former students walked out on stage. I left until she was done.
NFL News:
- Eddie Lacy is going to the Seahawks. One-year; $5.5 million, with $3 million guaranteed no matter his weight.
- I’m not getting rid of my Rawls jersey just yet.
- Cordarrelle Patterson signed a two-year deal with the “Oakland” Raiders.
- The Vikings signed Datone Jones away from the Packers.
- Oh God – the Browns might make a play for Kirk Cousins.
- Ted Ginn is going to drop balls for the Saints, for three years…THREE YEARS?! $11 MILLION?!
I detest the play-in games; calling the the “First Four” doesn’t pretty them up much. They reek of desperation, and they don’t even get shown on a real network. I’m surprised truTV can afford to stop showing “Impractical Jokers”. I’d love to see the complaint letters from the old ladies who are forced to miss an episode of “Talk Show the Game Show”.
However, I will take the time to remind you about DFOs Bracket Challenge. Somehow, I ended up with Kentucky winning it all, and I’m too lazy or inept to figure out how to change it.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Wild at Capitals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Blackhawks at Canadiens – 7:30PM | NBCSN
- NBA:
- Pistons vs. Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TSN
- NCAA:
- Play-in games:
- Mount St. Mary’s vs. New Orleans – 6:30PM | truTV
- Kansas State vs. Wake Forest – 9:00PM | truTV
- NIT: all over the ESPNs; highlights
- North Carolina (Greensboro) at Syracuse – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Indiana at Georgia Tech – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Play-in games:
I suppose the hockey is just for Canadians, although I’m not sure why TSN isn’t showing the basketball. MAKES NO SENSE!
I’m hungry but I can’t chew.
Milkshakes!!
I’ve heard that they bring all the boys to the yard…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c525wwnHS6k
Mines better than yours. I’d show you, but I’d have to charge.
Too cold man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIb4ORefBaE
As any Pats fan can tell you, a gullet full of hot, steaming chowder is pretty satisfying. Or if you can’t find Tom Brady, maybe just some kind of soup would help.
Most tv commentators and pk can tell you first-hand orally what hot fresh patriot chowder tastes like.
could you hire someone off craigslist/backpage to be your mama bird ,, smh??
Who know who is a business guru? The lady who owns that fucking bead shop that’s been open for like 25 years. Booms, downturns, the Chinese — nothing is running her out of business.
This is who should be fucking running the banks.
Its a front for MS-13.
So how soon before Sean Spicer Bud Dwyer’s himself on national TV from all the stress of trying to explain Trump’s tweets on a daily basis?
That has to be the shittiest gig in Washington right now right?
By a country mile, yes.
I’ve got to imagine he takes abuse from the media for the utterly insane shit he has to try and pass off on orders of Trump and that Bannon asshole…and then they give him abuse when he can’t convince rational people that it isn’t a fucking trainwreck of a White House.
I mean he has to be on a half a dozen medications just to control the stress.
I think he is a bastard and a complete hack, but I am honestly here when I say I would be shocked he is still working or even alive in 3 years just from the stress of this shit.
That job has high turnover under non-fuckwit presidents. You couldn’t pay me enough to even consider that gig.
It’s only stressful if he gives a fuck about what he’s saying, which he obviously doesn’t.
New budget director for Planned Parenthood might be required to knock out some overtime pretty soon.
I would pay at least $4-5 to see that!!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5cfe32a089359df1e36707de63d22df1/tumblr_ompn79xxQm1tybw3wo1_500.gif
That is obviously fake. The hands are too big
Not soon enough.
Trump reported losing $913,765,884 in 1995.
How the fuck was he able to spin that he is a business guru?
Apparently Rachel Maddow is reading off parts of his 2005 tax return.
It went to whores and boosted Russia’s GDP by 65% for the year.
Trickle down economics. (That’s a urinate on hookers joke.)
Santorum stock flowing freely.
Dammit! I should have gone with tinkle-down economics, it was right there! Weak stream, Spanky. Weak. Stream.
I’d imagine it’s going to show that he vastly overstates his wealth and is in serious hock to Russian financial interests.
Pretty much his $10 billion net worth he claimed back there is total bullshit. Apparently at best it was close to half that amount.
I wish I could lie about my wealth and actually have 11 figures.
Fuck I know right? Its staggering the wealth disparity in this country.
Strong bank account! Strong apparatchik!!
I want to donate sperm for families unable to rear children, so imagine my surprise when I went to the facility and found they didn’t have a cup that was shaped like Larry Craig’s hairline!
You have to kill a male hooker to get that.
In my mind I can hear the “doink” as the fire hydrant detaches and goes flying.
It’s a shame he didn’t die.
I honestly think Clark Kellogg might be the dumbest man alive (not associated with the Trump family or administration).
Don’t forget the Irsays.
nah, that’s just pillhead talk. I gets it.
Ha!!!!!
http://www.heavymetal.com/v2/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/lynda-carter-as-wonder-woman-10.gif
http://33.media.tumblr.com/424fcbf650acc8913c79c2eb054a196e/tumblr_msb761fY0V1s6zwoto5_500.gif
Austin ARIANS is majoring in LIBERAL STUDIES? You know who else went to art school…
Me watching 98% of NCAA tournament games:
(Waiting for game to start) “Super excited for this game, don’t care who’s playing.”
(5 seconds after tipoff): “Eh who cares, I’ll come back in two hours if the lower seed is winning.”
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/saudi-arabia-launches-girls-council-without-any-girls/ar-AAol5Vi?OCID=ansmsnnews11
Seems legit
You think that’s bad, you should see their girl-on-girl porn.
oh fuck me, how I guffawed at that
Bra-fucking-vo!
Yes, I should!
[bursts into room, huffing and puffing]
“Am I too late for pie day?”
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1565969.1388802596!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/chargers-chiefs-football.jpg
http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/37/69/7c727bc5fec04f1c2cddfbe0e0774c79-cheerleading-crab-is-rooting-for-you.gif
http://i.makeagif.com/media/9-07-2015/VwGYNN.gif
There’s a theory that when we die, our perception of time stretches out into an eternity in that final instant of consciousness. If that’s true, I would not at all mind if this image was the last thing I ever saw.
That’s a dumb idea.
I met/had dinner with some Canadians last night. They don’t get the deal with gun rights, like Trump, and hate Gary Bettman.
Well 1 out of 3 ain’t bad
Tell them what you make and how much your grocery bill is.
That will piss them off real good.
How’s that matter?
The Canadian Peso currently isn’t even worth the precious metals and expensive polymers that it’s made of
I feel like that would have been very ugly American of me.
And the host of this dinner was explaining why we needed to build the fucking wall.
To increase boat sales.
The Canadian dollar is in decline. Generally wages are comparable, but day to day costs are much higher. Grocery bills can be staggering depending on where they are based. Same too for housing.
Its becoming a huge problem in Canada as while wages have not gone down, purchasing power is in severe decline compared to the US. I do a lot of job assignments in Canada and it always makes me laugh when people in the states act like they are going to move up there.
Moving to any country, I think you are in for a culture shock…I just don’t think Americans realize how expensive it is to live up north year round. We are starting to poach a lot of Canadian talent. The joke around the office is they are the North American version of Poland.
Why’s it in decline?
My theory is that its a combination of many things. Environmental for one. Canada has to import a lot of food. The Chinese are also dumping staggering amounts of money into Canadian real estate which combined with the tradition NIMBYism of Canada, is leading to a huge problem for young people to afford any type of housing in a city of any significant size.
The global economy slow down hit Canada hard as much of its revenue and economy is based on consumption of raw materials, typically exported to the US and China. When both those markets contracted, the price of raw materials dropped.
But this is all crackpot theory from someone with not a real background at all in economics.
I hear you guys are bringing in MUSLIMS who, after like 6 years, can bring in MOAR MUSLIMS.
Supply and Demand, IMO.
The housing market in Toronto, Vancouver, and the like…its unreal. Like houses are going for seven figures and they will never be occupied.
All so rich assholes don’t have to pay taxes and get around export laws.
I do understand that coast real estate is nuts.
I’ve spent very limited time in Vancouver but I think it’s an awesome city.
So how would they know if those houses are occupied by squatters?
Oh boy, there seems to be another Fappening going on now.
How did you hack into my webcam?
I think i would prefer these play in games being broadcasted by the Weather Channel over this RealTV shit.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MVOKWbv_8FM/Toc8HVBZ_kI/AAAAAAAAAps/7lRXB5NFsqw/s1600/Wrestler_punches_fan.gif
Don’t ever fuck with a luchador’s mask.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JPfAhSKStlk/Tq6lg8b2oJI/AAAAAAAAA34/zo1t14aYeNA/s1600/Kids_inflatable_accident.gif
In former Soviet Republics, Pikachu chooses YOU!
I liked when middle America was doin’ stuff liek this rather than electing fascists to high office…
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hn3WvEzWhlI/TpG1mN8SKwI/AAAAAAAAAsE/A2vN3bz5EYk/s1600/Kenny_Rogers_batface.gif
Kenny Rogers batface…..
You fetch a bat with your teeth… for points!
/My high school friends used “for points” way before @midnight
I just had to put down my 14 year old dog a couple of hours ago. He was blind, had diabetes, liver and kidney problems, and I found out last week he had gallstones and early stages of cancer. However, he was always happy. Until today. I knew this day was coming, but, holy fuck did it still hurt like a bitch to put him down. I’m allowed to show up to work hungover /still drunk tomorrow, right?
Sorry.
Condolences. And I say you take the day off.
Sorry as shit Wake. Srsly.
Often they do find a way to let you know it’s time. Good on you for seeing it and loving him enough to recognize and put aside your own pain for his benefit.
Gonna raise a glass to you and him momentarily, my friend.
yes it hurts as badly as anything can hurt
Wow that’s the worst feeling. I know it. Remember how much fun he was.
Sorry, Wake. Props on you for giving him a good life.
Hey if you need some entertainment in the interim, hit me up. I can lick my own balls and have no qualms with shitting in a yard.
Sorry man. And unless you are a surgeon or airline pilot or something, sure
I’m very sorry man.
God damn, man, I’m sad to hear about that, but it sounds like you gave him an amazing life. That alone counts a lot.
Call in sick if you want to. You can take a day for him.
Sucks. Condolences.
Time to reboot.
http://cdn1.sbnation.com/assets/3673753/BOOT.gif
Possibly Az State, if that endzone is starting to spell Sun Devils
I couldn’t tell by the way the fan wasn’t in blackface.
And peepuhl wonder why my favorite bike route was thru campus in Tempe.
TMYK
To run over fools?
These March Madness commercials piss me off moar than SB commercials. No Shit.
Why is Grant Hill trying to sell me pizza?????
Also, true story bro…..Grant Hill was a client of mine for a while until the NBA came calling.
HEY GRANT I FIXED YOUR CAT FOR REAL CHEAP WHEN YOU WERE A “POOR” STUDENT ATHLETE THEN YA GOT THE SWEET NBA MONEY AND LEFT ME HANGING. PRICK.
(I’m not bitter)
((Yes, he really was a client with a sick as fuck kitten for his then girlfriend which I basically comped the treatment for…for the kitten, not for his arrogant ass))
(((fuck that guy)))
BREAKING: tWBS HAD HIS HANDS ALL OVER GRANT HILL’S COLLEGE PUSSY
http://media.giphy.com/media/2NH822Bdm3APK/giphy.gif
Haha…I’m gonna use this in the future.
http://s1.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/notre-dame-dog-attacks-michigan-cheerleader-espn-college-gameday-gifs.gif
Purebred Pussy Hound.
FUCK THERE GOES MY BRACKET! I had New Orleans into the Elite 8.
I am not very good at this…
I had them in my other bracket
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aUHthMKhcNo/TqbbMRHFNzI/AAAAAAAAAz4/oTpw1psKoTc/w1200-h630-p-nu/Bungee_fail.gif
Fucking Miami, man.
A person of less moral fortitude than I might say that their cheerleaders are also 16 seeds
http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/wp-content/uploads/rc/2013/10/Backflop.gif
So many questions…did the operator survive? Did they drive into this or just stop suddenly? How fucking fast to you have to be going to cause this? What fucking kind of car is that?
Gives a whole new meaning to “Getting Roofied”.
/shows self out
http://i.amz.mshcdn.com/8cEe6yQi8S1XdtrL4_W_xd_Oc7M=/fit-in/1200×9600/2013%2F06%2F19%2Ff7%2FSVhVfsd.9ba2d.gif
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
maybe looks like it came from… behind.
Wasn’t even double bonus, for fuck’s sake! 4.2 seconds difference shot and game clock.
These dumb fucks don’t foul??
Now if they make a half court 3-pointer they’ll win by 2!
I couldn’t find TruTV if you hid pussy and beer in it.
Apparently for me, its sandwiched between “E” and “FoxNews” channels.
Took me a while to find it.
betwixt Comedy Central and SyFy FOAR me
That’s the closet something true will ever be to Fox News!
A pop up ad once told me that their tagline for their comedies is, “It’s funny because it’s Tru”
Not surprisingly, the team with “The Mount” on its jerseys has a super rapey mascot.
It just dawned on me how fucking funny Blax’s question was before….
It’s like he’s new here or something. Jeebus.
anthem of Hippo’s dumb life? U noe it!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_rCRgu9qTg
Maybe it’s some sort of nicotine-infused pain medication. Just flood all the receptors
http://alexanderlozada.com/iasip/?ImJsYXhhYmJhdGggVHJpZXMgVmljb2RpbiI=
http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/59/14/12ad840f8f96e508a4e2bc5d654a18b5.gif
This answers all my questions.
This might be my favorite thing I’ve ever seen.
backpage ,, smgdh
Ole Miss at Monmouth (ESPN2) is a fun cultural pairing. “Ay! youse Dixie boys sounds so fackin’ stooopid when youse taaak.”
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b4b13bef704f90a0aacba2ad5da2821c/tumblr_ms84xzk0BI1sqsk8do1_250.gif
You guys ever tried vicotin? My dentist gave me a prescription after roughing up my jaw for a couple hours earlier today. It was pretty neat how my face went from sore/numb to regular/only-kinda-sore….but I don’t think it’s good enough that I’d want to be addicted to it or anything.
Take another one.
The answer is always….take another one.
Vicuprofen is much better. Acetomenophen (Tylenol) is totes bad for you.
I don’t know that much about drugs.
Should I rip a bowl?
You are going to want to do a cold water extract and then bang that shit.
You get something like this…
Its just a histamine reaction.
Or you could smoke them…
Never a bad idea.
I had my wisdom teeth taken out under local anesthetic and they gave me Percodan. You can’t even get that anymore. Instructions said take one every twelve hours; I started with three. I could actually float and also had telekinetic powers.
Anyone who says “BUT ‘ZAGA DON’T PLAY ANYONE” should never be allowed to fill out a bracket.
It’s not that they don’t play anyone. It’s that they don’t play anyone after Christmas. And getting up for the occasional contested game isn’t exactly great preparation for trying to beat 6 consecutive strong* teams.
(* even the 16 seeds are better than most of the teams in America)
Ehhhhhh, I disagree with you on the 16 seeds. They’re almost always dogshit.
Valid point.
this here 16-seed play-in tain’t half bad!!
http://oi44.tinypic.com/29wsn6e.jpg
Admittedly….not one of my prouder days.
Also, I may or may not own that hat in real life.
That’s fucking funny. Especially considering all the scratching.
At least I had a big O on my chest that day.
Can’t say that’s happened recently.
Ah yes, UNO. The legacy of Monte Towe.
White Men Can’t Jump: The Documentary.
Okay, Dino was a featured player but I don’t remember that saber-toothed cat in anything but the end credits.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/batman-robin-laughter.gif
Green Arrow is a billionaire trust fund baby and a communist. IOW, he’s a NESCAC school alumnus.
yeah, they don’t let it sleep in the house at night, but it rides in the goddamned car?? The titty fuck is that shit??
http://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/2347804/creeper.0.gif
Why is this a gif? I don’t know what is happening.
Up skirt shot from creepy sideline dude…
Oh.
McCrory approves.
Pucky-sticky:
I find it amusing how people think Jonathan Quick is going to save the Kings when Peter Budaj (I get this is his ceiling) pretty much was Jonathan Quick numbers wise for most of the seaosn.
It takes two to tango. And 23 to play defense.
Yeah, then they traded for Ben Bishop. The fucking problem is scoring, not unscoring (that’s how cool people say goaltending).
I mean won’t geriatric Jarome Iginla solve that?
As long as it’s 2003.
/checks calendar
It’s not 2003.
God he’s awful now, but that dude will still be able to one-time a puck in his 70s.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs2/1133932_o.gif
2003 is closer to the time of Cleopatra than today is to 2003. Spooky.
black don’t crack ,, ppl forget that
http://cdn3.sbnation.com/assets/3419325/uschit.gif
He makes Ron Paulus look like Jimmy Clausen!
That’s sexy
PokerStars is down. This is fucking bullshit. I demand a refund of my technically worthless play money.
http://i.makeagif.com/media/12-08-2015/PMr9e5.gif
Can’t that asshole just go back to fake wrestling instead of fake presidenting?
I just heard this for the first time the other day. I love it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMjN_lC8a8
You’re finally a real boy.
It’s now in my Top 10 favorite rap songs.
Well…boy-ish.
😉
<3
Jesus, fuck, happy fucking Tuesday.
“Strangely, none of it on strippers; last time I was at one, one of my former students walked out on stage. I left until she was done.”
You finished beating off in the 3 minutes and 19 seconds it took for her to jiggle her tits to “Cherry Pie”?
WHAT IS THIS MAN?!?! SOME KIND OF MARATHONER?!?
http://s1.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/NFL-cheerleader-GIFs-Washington-shake.gif
How has Snyder not named them the Squaws?
Especially when so many of them have smallpox.
OK, found it.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/5901758164c35562b39691605d70bf5d/tumblr_n55ucnIdiz1s5e5bko2_r1_500.gif
Is that danny devito? Is that danny devito on Friends?
The 3:19 includes walking to/from the sticky area behind the dumpster.
Are you saying she couldn’t twerk for the full four and a half minutes of “Girls, Girls, Girls”?
We also would have accepted “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
Pop quiz hotshots: If you took the 64 teams in the tournament and gave them random seeds, would it make a difference on the winner?
Definitely. Those six opponents lined up nicely for Villanova last year; a different set would yield different results.
This does not apply to women’s basketball and Connecticut.
Could UCONN beat the Browns?
Talking about the Mexican national team? Then yes.
Talking about the Cleveland “professional” football team? Then still yes.
In their conference tourney, they beat a 24-8 team by 56; there’s no pretending anyone has a chance against them.
I mean, are there that few elite high school girls that Auriemma can just snag them all?
Yes, there’s usually 2-3 teams that are criminally underseeded. IE, Wichita State as a #10 is nuts.
http://kenpom.com/index.php
“criminally underseeded”
Dry bukkakke porn ……
Also the reason Andrei Chikatilo did what he did.
http://images.wildammo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Field-Goal-FAIL.gif
Can I have FGCU win it all?
WOOOOO DUNK CITY
Win it all? Sure. But I have The Sisters of the Flaming Christ : School for the Blind in the ELITE eight so I might not be a reliable source …
I am ok with the play-in games…but they should be fucking called what they are. The fuck else I’mma do on a Tue/Wed??
I filled out a bracket. I know nothing about college basketball this year or most years. I also know I had Wisconsin advance way too far.