Reminder: the Draft is three weeks today.
NFL News:
-
Beastmode will become a Raider, probably sometime before the draft.
- John Schneider says his relationship with Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie – from their collective time in Green Bay – will ensure things are handled “in a smooth manner,”
- either by release or minimally-invasive trade of a late-round pick
- Should Lynch come out of retirement, he is in line for a salary-cap hit of $9 million in 2017 and a base salary of $7 million in 2018.
- if he’s released rather than traded, then the Raiders can negotiate a cheaper deal against their cap
- their preferred option is release
- currently, the Raiders have $33 million in cap space for 2017
- if he’s released rather than traded, then the Raiders can negotiate a cheaper deal against their cap
- John Schneider says his relationship with Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie – from their collective time in Green Bay – will ensure things are handled “in a smooth manner,”
- If the Seahawks do trade Richard Sherman, the price is expected to be a player & a pick
- the player will have to cost less than the $13.6 million Sherman now costs on the Seattle cap
- because the Seahawks only have $10 million in cap space left for 2017
- Seattle has 10 players taking up 61 percent of its cap space, counting for a total of $101.26 million on the ’17 cap
- the player will have to cost less than the $13.6 million Sherman now costs on the Seattle cap
- As expected, Aaron Hernandez did not testify in his own defence, and his lawyer wrapped up his case Wednesday.
- Closing arguments today came down to:
- Prosecution: Hernandez killed two men because he had “an illogical sense of being disrespected.”
- Defence: Hernandez’s former friend, Alexander Bradley, killed the two men over a drug deal.
- Closing arguments today came down to:
Finally, Florio has started the idol-worship of the now non-retired-but-released Tony Romo by positing “The Romo 13”, in the vein of “The Brady 6”. Here are some of those names:
- Carson Palmer (drafted #1 overall – Bengals)
- Byron Leftwich
- Kyle Boller
- Rex Grossman
- Chris Simms – son of the man he’s replacing at CBS, and likely the reason Florio put this list together
Your long-form read of the day comes from The Economist and the New York Times, and marks the 100th Anniversary of the US joining World War One – April 6, 1917. They draws parallels to today’s presidential administrations, and discuss how that war marked the emergence of the modern American state, setting the stage for the 20th century being the age of America.
The war is a pretty big deal up here right now. Canada begins commemorating the 100th anniversary of Vimy Ridge this weekend. The battle, between April 9-12, was 6-months in planning by Lord Byng, and was fought by all-Canadian forces. It took in a weekend what the British & French hadn’t conquered in two years, and set the stage for Canada to begin truly emerging from its colonial status. This memorial
stands at Vimy Ridge, on land ceded by France to Canada in tribute to the men who sacrificed their lives in that battle. You can’t go too far off to the sides, however,
as it’s estimated it will take 700 years for all the ordinance to work its way to the surface.
Here’s a pretty good gif of the conflict as it escalated. Note how Canada is not considered an independent country at this time.
Maybe spend part of your evening, or weekend, reading a little history.
I realize “Sexy Friday” is both not my topic and on Fridays, but it’s been a long day. I was supposed to get layoff notice at 10:45 AM today, which will cost me the job that’s allowed me time to do these daily threads, but the announcement was instead changed to “the three sites will be amalgamated into one”. The best-case is that I still get the lay-off and one-year’s pay; the worst-case is that I don’t get it & get sent to the remaining location to teach courses I don’t know, and if I quit I get nothing.
So forgive me for crossing a line before I go home and spend the weekend emptying my liquor cabinet. But the first images of Netflix’s “G.L.O.W” series were released today, and that’s just too important to pass up.
In case you’d forgotten what the 80s looked like, gaze upon its full majesty:
The show stars Alison Brie.
and I don’t care after that. Also, I’m throwing in these two just to feel a bit better.
The defence rests. It premieres June 23rd.
Don’t forget to pour one out for Don Rickles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv4OMsTUptA
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Penguins at Devils – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
- Senators at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN
- possible first-round matchup
- Blackhawks at Ducks – 10:00PM | NBCSN
- Flames at Kings – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Celtics at Hawks – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- Timberwolves at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Men’s hockey – Frozen Four semi-finals:
- Harvard vs. Minnesota (Duluth) – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- Notre Dame vs. Denver – 9:30PM | ESPN2
- Men’s hockey – Frozen Four semi-finals:
- Soccer:
- Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Russia – 8:30PM | FS1
COME TO ME, MY ALCOHOL!
I presume the sound guy at the White House will be looking for a new job tomorrow?
I hate when someone else picks CM Punk first and you have to take the palette swap for the ring gear.
still, not the worst swap i’ve seen:
http://inkwrestling.in/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/mick-foley.jpg
http://scontent-b.cdninstagram.com/hphotos-xpf1/t51.2885-15/10401746_1458751677702567_2017699421_n.jpg
First day of The Masters, first day of the End Times. Time to crack another beer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55xaWhhT98E&ab_channel=AndrewLauder
This seems appropriate tonight:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDw-zFFhFgc
So here’s the thing. In a best case scenario, this sends a message to the world that the U.S. will not tolerate the use of chemical weapons, and when we say it’s a red line, it’s a red fucking line that you better not cross.
Unfortunately, North Korea has demonstrated many, many times that they DGAF about red lines, and will probably see this as a “hold my beer” type of thing.
Worst case scenario, we accidentally killed a Russian and Putin decides he’s going to see how far he can push his Soviet Revival wet dream.
Worst-case scenario is literally nuclear armageddon right now.
They’re aiding and supply their allies, the Saudis with the same stuff. ..
Hey, guys. Anything going on tonight?
World War III
Now now, that would end quicker than this long descent into nothingness
Ronco is selling a new miracle exercise machine.
http://crazyhyena.com/imagebank/g/workout-moves-funny-sexy-gif.gif
http://i1302.photobucket.com/albums/ag137/nelsonmonty/pelvicthrust_zpsb5bed27e.gif
Any of you chaps know how to watch the new Rick and Morty if you don’t have cable AND don’t want the Chinese installing weird shit on your work laptop?
Weird shit like tentacle porn?
Glass houses pal, glass houses.
I read that as Romo’s 13 inches and Brady’s 6 inches. That seemed generous for Taaawmy and explained a lot about Jessica Simpson’s choices
Welp, we know what kind of mood you’re in tonight.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c016407432cc3644beb15f11b0a26d3f/tumblr_nchcuqhvSC1snmmclo1_500.gif
Heh, the Toronto “Canada’s Team” Maple Leafs still have a chance to miss the playoffs
Not my Goddamn team.
I’ve been “Fuck the Leafs” forever.
I’d rather no Canadian team to win the cup than the Leafs to win the Cup.
So, war hey?
These “Better Call Saul” ads are everywhere
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/373581528405905408
He was talking about a BLACK president, not a Real American one.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6w_vgLY1kJo/Ue2ZViNoGRI/AAAAAAABxp4/As9Hk78Kdz0/s1600/c.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1bb5946c117a634a7134f16ac28bd42b/tumblr_o87efpqbXt1r34amfo1_500.gif
After missing a penalty kick, Allie Long scores her second with a header.
4-0.
I see Generalissimo Trump decided to start WW3 early.
Looks like they called Russia ahead of time and bombed an unused airfield so Trump could look like he was taking a hard stand against Assad and Russia.
Fuck Trump, regardless.
Oh the conspiracy theories flying on twitter right now are fucking EPIC!
This reporter is pretty good and explain how the game of chicken is being played right now:
http://www.npr.org/2017/04/06/522857262/u-s-military-leaders-are-worried-that-a-war-with-russia-could-start-by-accident
What do you mean, early? It’s the 100th anniversary of the U.S. joining The Great War, it’s a perfect time to start the Biglyest War Ever.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/reports-secret-service-agent-on-pence-detail-consorted-with-hooker/ar-BBzstDX?OCID=ansmsnnews11
See, that’s what happens when you let yourself spend time alone with a woman who’s not your wife.
Who’s cheaper.
Question; if you were bangin’ Brie on the regular: would that mole bug you while you were havin’ Brie lunch down there?
http://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/alison-brie-on-the-set-of-g.l.o.w.-in-los-angeles-10-03-2016_4.jpg
Me neither.
http://throughmylynnz.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Final-GLOW-logo-01-1024×489.png
I would consider it a beacon, calling me home.
Hypothetically, of course.
Nobody better slap me on the back right now or I’ll be stuck squinting like this for the rest of my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7M-7MI4AKE
What mole?
I realize “Sexy Friday” is both not my topic and on Fridays, but….
Mi Sexy es su Sexy. There can never be too much.
Also good luck, of course.
I think you have some good span…. ah, them…… ah, source material for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is in the can already (giggity).
But Alison will almost certainly get her own featured week at some point.
Wait; you can’t show penetration on this site.
Oh, you meant…..
http://alisonbriefan.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/2.jpg
http://www.hawtcelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/alison-brie-on-the-set-of-g.l.o.w.-in-los-angeles-10-03-2016_8.jpg
I didn’t want to be greedy & use them all.
Thank you. I like the angry; it looks like the mood of most of my previous GFs.
So this whole missile thing, did he get approval for this?
His I-phone messed up one of his tweets and he thought he was ordering the US military to take out Siri…
…and now we’re at war with Syria.
Why not…what are the chances of accidentally hitting Russian military members…4:1?
3-0 US!
I haven’t seen a disappointing performance from the Russians like this since the Winter War.
Tomorrow, I go to some office and cut a check for like $67k for a down payment for a house.
I am fucking terrified. Complete and utter irrational terror. I’ve never written a check this big before nor have I ever owed more than like maybe $56k at once, and that was college loans…and I paid that off in like 10 months working in the UAE.
This is so irrational because my mortgage payment will be less than my fucking rent I am currently paying, but I cannot get my fucking brain to accept this as a smart decision. I think its because I grew up shit poor, in Baltimore and its like honestly like you expect the worst shit to always happen…constantly.
Bought a bunch of food…power is going to get shut off. Score a free couch…get it inside and discover its got a fucking rat living in it. Move to a semi-nicer rental place…dad get’s his pink slip and all our shit is getting thrown to the curb by the end of the month.
I swear to god I think I got more mental hangups from growing up in poverty than doing six years in the military and having people getting killed and seriously injured around me.
You could buy a quarter of Baltimore for that.
I could go on very long rants about housing in Baltimore…I will just give you a taste..
All those “abandoned” structures are owned by either out of towners, especially on the Eastern Shore, or by government official’s and their family members. The general practice is to be a fucking slum lord until the property is effectively condemned. They then pay the bar minimum in taxes and sometimes not even that, effectively “squatting” on the site in hopes that an entity like Johns Hopkins will be purchasing whole blocks they will try and charge an obscene amount of money just for the rights to demolish the shit.
I used to work for a father and son that renovated homes in Baltimore and the shady shit people would do was insane.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-BfZaymL5fiQ/UYkrVJcBovI/AAAAAAAAD80/UVjX6IhMDjc/s1600/tumblr_mgzy7ka2oU1rly7h0o1_500.gif
2-0 US!!!!
1-0 USA USA USA!!!!
Tim Tebow is never, ever going the fuck away:
http://m.mlb.com/news/article/222749506/mets-tim-tebow-homers-in-first-minors-at-bat/
A minor league team would be stupid as fuck to cut Tebow.
His dumb ass brings in the rubes.
I’m fine with him being on a minor league team, just not the one affiliated with the Dirt Jets.
I know a guy that did a number of years in the minors. I am not sure what pro teams he was associated. He always said the absolute worst level to be at was AAA.
Like A, you had a lot of hope. AA felt like you were getting somewhere. AAA felt like you were stuck or were injured and the sharks were swimming around you waiting to steal your spot.
I can’t see playing on a AAA team being anything short of panic-inducing on an hourly basis.
Yeah the way he described it, the young guys hate the older guys for not getting out the way. The older guys are coming to terms with the fact their careers are ending or that they never are going to get to the majors…and of course they hate the young guys who are just dickhead up starts. And the managers can’t really get the young or old players to listen because to get to that level, they have a lot of talent so they think they don’t need to listen.
If you are on a really good AAA team, it pretty much means you will never get called up unless you get traded to another farm affiliate. If you are on a shit team, you aren’t getting experience with decent players. He made it sound like hell on earth.
Tough titties, kids; buy your own ice cream.
Baseball season can suck Pee Wee Herman’s dick
http://screencrush.com/files/2014/08/roz1.gif
Not sure what I enjoy more about the US women’s national soccer team…the fact the US always dominates or that I don’t feel awkward getting erections from athletes on TV.
http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/tumblr_m834kp9pmm1qc4c8bo1_500.gif?w=650
http://media.giphy.com/media/6PyrLt9Yh7cA0/giphy.gif
http://i.imgur.com/JvjIQin.gif
Alice really is my favorite TV psychopath.
http://i.imgur.com/cSdOj.gif
http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Allison-Brie-GIF1.gif
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–hlV2_NSj–/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/xc6ldnnikbwncfrgi5ka.gif
http://egmnowbeta.s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/01163458/Alison-Brie-Community-608.jpg
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/07/Funny-FAIL-GIF.gif
Am I looking forward to GLOW?
Yes. Yes I am.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/2043949/soul-glo-o.gif
http://www.bromygod.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/movies-007-07152014.gif
http://s1.r29static.com/bin/entry/f6b/x/1422693/image.gif
Mass Effect released a patch to fix (hopefully) a shit ton of bugs today that have plauged its launch. Post patch on the left.
Looks to me like they finally ran out of Paris Hilton’s line of makeup in Andromeda.
Didn’t they remember that real is brown?
http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/realisbrowngo1.jpg
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Rebel-gifs-001_002.gif
http://dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Rebel-ovw-gifs-003.gif
http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/glowgif.gif
“I’d still rather have Rex Grossman than Tony Romo.”
–Jessica Simpson
…and probably also her dad
Hey Fellow Assholes…let us take a moment. Our pucks stay still. Ok play on.
http://www.comedytime.tv/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/FGcatchthis.gif
http://funnypictures4.fjcdn.com/funny_gifs/Weird_334153_5983667.gif
Moose isn’t here right now, please leave a message.
http://www.dailywrestlingnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/kaitlyn-gifs_007.gif
I feel like I need to become familiar with her oeuvre.
Who the hell is this, now?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kGgOPuVJdDQ/U3cg-iNop_I/AAAAAAAAAQc/lpNwGwU9Z80/s1600/tumblr_n332fauxYy1tr4fi7o9_500.gif
I did an image search, came up as “female.” While accurate, it is less than helpful.
Well, I guess you’ll never make detective now. Just searching the image I came up with Amy Schumer as the first match…. but a few link down was a visual match of this wrestler. Noticing the name in the image matched this name… well, there ya go.
http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/former-wwe-diva-kaitlyn-is-amazing.454420734/page-2
Seems like the photoshoot went well.