NFL News:
- AJ Hawk signed a one-day contract so he could retire a Packer.
- Dallas jumped early and exercised the 2018 option on OL Zack Martin.
- It’s worth $9.3 million, which is about $3 million less than he’d command on the open market after 2017.
- The Bills are going to the family well & brought in Chad Kelly for a
tryoutpre-draft visit.- He missed the combine due to a shredded knee, making him the leading candidate for the Browns’ first-overall pick.
- One final use of the Rooney Rule on Tuesday, when Ike Taylor joins 7 Rooney grandchildren as pallbearers at Grampa Dan’s funeral.
- Making the Seahawks drafting team‘s job that much harder, OT Gary Gilliam has signed with the 49ers.
- Megatron’s butthole might open August 26th.
Finally, Derek Carr – “Christian, Husband, Father and Oakland Raider #RaiderNation What they call work, I call worship!” – went and called disappointed Oakland residents “not true fans” for lamenting the move to Vegas. That should make the next two years playing out the string extra-special to the 4500 people who show up.
- Well, that must have been a scary couple of hours in the Raiders front office:
Just in case I was misunderstood…I love ALL Raider fans, wherever they are from…. We are in this together, always! #RaiderNation
— Derek Carr (@derekcarrqb) April 18, 2017
Lesser sports playoff madness update:
In case you want to know how Flames fans’ (& their server, litre_cola) night went, allow the fans of the 2013 Maple Leafs to show you:
And Ape has the fallout from the Caps-Leafs series:
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/854357383132434433
Delicious.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Habs at Rangers – 7:00PM / NBCSN / CBC
- Penguins at CBJ – 7:00PM | CNBC / Sportsnet360
- Oilers at Sharks – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Bucks at Raptors – 7:00PM | TSN
- Bulls at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT
- Jazz at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT
Hernandez tied that noise THE RUGHT WAY
Too early for Aaron Hernandez jokes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FOzD4Sfgag
How did we miss this?
Those are some yuuuge eggs!
That’s what she said?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTWdP5DMdsM
Yep.
Still funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNKPaKcxmxI
Rally is some insanely good racing.
I guess I’m going to have to downlo— er … legally view this episode tomorrow.
https://gfycat.com/SadSlowArmyant
Pepperoni, mushroom, Hatch green chile Sicilian pizza.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EZrpEdc0ZQ&ab_channel=VidsMB
Hello
‘Sup, man?
I had a pretty good day today. Life’s good.
How are you?
Good. Deciding what type of crap to fling at our intrepid DFOers in HRTN. I really should plan ahead more.
Just so long as I don’t die like Colin Hanks in that movie he did with Diane Lane, it’s all good.
HRTN has a (shockingly?) low body-count so far, so you’re probably safe.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/87864a2ef4d75cf198ab9487a21abcbc/tumblr_ol1999MctY1uhyibpo1_540.jpg
You rock, Moose.
http://cdn.acidcow.com/pics/20130207/painful_moments_in_testicle_history_24.gif
http://p.fod4.com/p/media/aecb2445b5/9XsoZUbtSFW30SZII0wQ_Soccer%20Nut%20Shot.gif
http://cdn2-www.craveonline.com/assets/mandatory/legacy/2016/03/man_file_1065676_2giphytrampoline.gif
We’re forgetting an important one.
And, it’s Academy Award-winning sequel:
OK, that’s just evil.
http://www.geekedoutnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/g2.gif
What the shit is going on in San Jose? 7-0?
One touchdown, and the Eskimos tie it up. Relax.
http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/ridiculous-sports-injuries-gifs-bike-board-fail-nut-shot.gif
And an extra point!
http://cdn3.sbnation.com/assets/3848725/balls.gif
While we’re on nut shots, apparently a Dirt Jets beer vendor got hit in the nuts with a foul ball today.
Never forget.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs1/1221861_o.gif
That’s some accuracy right there.
Fuck you. That’s my joke.
I don’t follow golf; is this a birdie?
It was.
Look at his stupid hat.
http://c1.nuttit.com/Cache/GetImage?id=xff5HRt.gif
Ironic or coincidental?
Phenomenal.
SCIENCE!
F=MA!
http://2.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/10/65/f52c5d49b1ef063f07dbb406a954758b.gif
If that happened in Pennsylvania that girl would have ended up pregnant.
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/soccer-nut-shot-jack-wilshere.gif
Cleatus interceptus.
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/2398175/mitchnuts.gif
Fish to nuts?
http://i1.wp.com/www.bitsandpieces.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Heat-Seeking-Fish.gif
Reverse Kanye West
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/webroot/animatedgifs/408531_o.gif
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/012015/1421949841_tennis_ball_boy_nut_shot.gif
http://img2.thejournal.ie/inline/1151201/original/?width=400&version=1151201
Fuck that asshole
http://www.bontheball.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/football.gif
http://www.damnlol.com/pics/108/9a4046b87b44f10a4bfabdf08af7b0ef.gif
For some reason this song is stuck in my head. This show probably isn’t the radar for most football fans, but it is terrific for what it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5XdQ5q2PIA
http://media.giphy.com/media/12Ic7f6yHqawcE/giphy.gif
http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Falling-down-from-tree.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWCx9D__Gts
http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/unexpected-swing-nutshot.gif
so, this happened, and its fucking hilarious
for those of you not in the know, pegasus kid was christ benoit early in his career.
you know, the same chris benoit who murdered his family
Holy shit. Which snark fuck writer thought this was gonna go unnoticed?
a future endeavored one, most likely
Damn white people.
Man, if there was ever a time I could attend an Ellen show, it would have been this one so I could boo her and shame her.. .
http://llcdn.listelist.com/listeliststatic/2017/02/06152447/07-nut-shot.gif
Natural selection…
It’s a good thing!