Your “Oops, Our Bad” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Looks like everyone else.

    One day after being cut from the Cowboys for being nothing but trouble (& not named Ezekiel), Lucky Whitehead has had all charges dropped by Virginia police.

    • The cops original warrant was based on comparing the DMV photo of Whitehead to the guy they had in custody, later discovering “that Mr. Whitehead’s identity was falsely provided to police during the investigation.”
      • The man who was arrested didn’t have identification with him. He verbally provided the name, date of birth and Social Security number of Rodney Darnell Whitehead Jr. to police officers, who checked the information through the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles database.
        • It’s actually kind of impressive this guy pulled all that out of his ass after being arrested.
    • Now, I’m not a lawyer, but methinks Mr. Whitehead might have a case for damages, since his arrest led directly to his being fired from his job.
      • But in a county where the population trends 63% white, he may want to ask for a judge trial.
      • Plus, his agent is “confident” he’ll be signed elsewhere soon, as “3 or 4” teams have already expressed interest.
    • Prior to Whitehead’s release, Jason Garrett offered this telling statement:
      • Garrett also had this to say on Whitehead’s maturity: “When you have someone in your program, in this environment, in this structure, and they don’t grow and develop and they make the same mistakes over and over again, it’s time to move on.”
        • Sounds like this was a convenient excuse, regardless of actual innocence.
  • That excited clippity-clop you may have heard last night was John Elway celebrating his new contract.
    • The deal will keep him in his paddock place until 2021.
    • Also good news for the Broncos is that Gary Kubiak is rejoining the team as a Texas-based scout.
  • Boltman must be sleeping: RGIII is going to Carson for a workout / tryout.
    • He doesn’t have enough kids to be their starter, but maybe he can adopt before the season starts.
  • A little Canadian content: Canadian rugby-7s star Adam Zaruba has signed a three-year deal with the Eagles as a tight end.
    • He hasn’t played football since high school, when he played for North Vancouver’s Carson Graham Eagles.
      • It’s just a kilometre from my house!
      • previous Carson grads to play pro football are Jerome Pathon (NFL), Paris Jackson (CFL) and Glen Suitor (CFL).
    • FYI: The two school logos.

   

Left is the football team. Right is the official, won’t-get-sued letterhead logo.

Finally, your (depressing) long read of the day comes from ESPN, and is about how 90% of the donated brains  received at the VA-BU-CLF Brain Bank – CTE Center | Boston University show signs of CTE.

  • The study does note that the incidence may be high because:
    • Many donors or their families contributed because of the players’ repeated concussions and troubling symptoms before death; and
    • Uncertainty if some players’ lifestyle habits — alcohol, drugs, steroids, diet — might somehow have contributed to their condition.
  • Of note:

CTE was diagnosed in 177 former players — nearly 90 percent of brains studied. That includes 110 of 111 brains from former NFL players; 48 of 53 college players; nine of 14 semi-professional players, seven of eight Canadian Football League players and three of 14 high school players.


I only mention this because I am “Beerguyrob”: As was noted last night in the Open Thread, Peter King has “produced” a comprehensive list of all the beers he has enjoyed over the years as a travelling clown journalist spewer of words.

  • He glosses over Oregon & doesn’t mention Washington. Therefore, this list is irrelevant. Typical East Coast bias.
    • So. Many. White beers. If he didn’t constantly tell you he’s from the Northeast, you’d swear he enjoys his pints under a white hood.
  • Plus, no Kansas? Wichita alone has 8 distinct breweries alone, based on a quick Yelp* examination.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Futbol:
    • International Champions Cup Soccer:
      • Tottenham vs. Roma – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • Beisbol:
    • A’s at Jays – 7:00Pm | Sportsnet
    • Red Sox at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  •  WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Jinder Mahal is still your World Heavyweight Champion.
  • Golf:
    • World Long Drive Tour Golf:
      • Mile High Showdown – 7:00PM | GOLF

Finally saw Spider-man today. Michael Keaton – great villain. Can’t wait for a Val Kilmer Marvel cameo.

I’M YOUR HUCKLEBERRY, HAWKEYE!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

MARINERS!

Romonobyl
Member

I hear this is the dude’s mugshot. The confusion is understandable.

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yeah right
Member

So tonight I’m experimenting with some strange voodoo magical direct pain application things.

I have fucked up knees and I won’t force you to relive that.

I’ve been given these topical patches that are supposed to help and so far I feel great.

I did 5 miles in an hour this morning and I’m going again tomorrow.

I will give you a full report!

Unless I forget.

Romonobyl
Member

DON’T put those patches on your nutsack. Please trust me on this.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Are you only saying that because you want him to put them on YOUR nutsack?

I am suspicious.

Romonobyl
Member

What nutsack? Like I said, trust me on this.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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nomonkeyfun
Member

Hey Petey, I have a new beer for you to try. It’s only a 3% fentanyl. The fentanyl gives it a nice nutmeggy flavor.

/nomonkey basks in the cheers of football fans all over the world, and woUrld.

WCS
Member

Opiate: By Allagash

“My new favbfkl;sjd;lgd-og;dbbbbbbbbbb” —

Peter King’s next review

JerBear50
Member
JerBear50

A delightful brew, worthy of a King or a Prince.

Romonobyl
Member

Romonobyl
Member

Don’t know what happened there, I meant this:

trollsoharduniversity
Member

My brother is in the midst of a tweet storm. Should I unbrother him?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Is it any good?

trollsoharduniversity
Member

Ha! You can’t get me with a trick quesstion

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Eugh. I don’t know how I’ve done it, but I’ve managed to misplace a window AC unit.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Have you checked the people and cars below?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Even though I specifically remember removing it from the window, I still considered this possibility and checked outside my window. As far as I can tell, it crushed neither car nor man.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Well try it again and time it better!

(Due to legal reasons, I do not condone this.)

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Did you check your butt?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Lots of stuff comes out of my ass, but so far no cooling units.

trollsoharduniversity
Member

Too bad because it would be a remarkable solution to global warming.

Romonobyl
Member

Were you, by chance, enjoying a series of malt-based beverages whilst last relocating said appliance?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo
Member

YES!!!!!

almost back to .500 WOO!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Doesn’t matter; the LAs are running away with it.

trollsoharduniversity
Member

– me, the day before my second-longest masturbation streak ended

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

ok, Rockies…you going DOWN!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Moosemas, no!

trollsoharduniversity
Member

At first I was taken aback, but after thinking about it some more, I’m not at all surprised that the NFL murdered 14 high school students just to test their brains.

King Hippo
Member

FOAR the greater good!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The greater good.

Senor Weaselo
Member

How can this be for the greater good?

Duchess
Member

Look out NFL with Lucky on the streets now you too can sign a guy who in 2 seasons has 9 receptions for a total of 64 yards!

Shogun Marcus
Member

In the distance you can hear the pained howls of Matt Millen…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
Member

Oh, what the shit?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T
Member

Now tongue-activated

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT’S WHAT SHEEEEEEEE SAID.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That burrito didn’t do either one any favors:

h

ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/653146535259c28febf30b62b4fff4a7/tumblr_osryl7dNWO1vdsf45o1_400.gif

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

MTWV: Sweet bong, man!

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Heh, I was able to log in without answering wordpress’ inane math question. Cmon, everyone know the solution to

a^n + b^n = c^n:
find a, b, and c for any n greater than 2.

On a related note, watch out now, scouting can be dangerous
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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Where the fuck has everybody been today?

litre_cola
Member

Driving from Bismarck to Billings, you?

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

I was born in one of those towns and have never been to the other.
PLACE YOUR BETS!

litre_cola
Member

Billings is much nicer.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Not what I expected from Moose linking to a .jp site. You could almost say it was a surprise Japanese navy or something witty to set up a Parcells joke.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

Lesser men have gone mad on that journey, Litre…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Beerguyrob’s sister has a nice place.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I’m hoping to CLEAN UP on quotables this week thanks to the silence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus
Member

I’m writing things telepathically. It’s working REAL good. Yup, you bet. The words, they’re just flying!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’m listening to a podcast where one of the hosts just admitted to buying a season’s worth of Top Chef from the iTunes store @ $2.99/episode years ago, which is goddamn insane even at $0.0299/episode because it’s fucking Top Chef.

I resent buying the first season of GoT for $20 after that season ended. Guess what? Never finished a single video. I don’t even keep copies on my computer. I should add that I bought it using a $25 gift card, the balance of which remains on my iTunes account 5 years later because there is nothing I have ever seen fit to purchase.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Boy Scouts suck.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

The chanting is horrifying but a lot of the blowback has been from scouts and former scouts highly critical of the organization for not condemning that rally.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I thought it was lame and fuck ’em because father was a piece of shit while proud of having been an Eagle, but adult me despises the entire organization for being a bunch of right-wing masturbatory scumbags.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

That’s usually how the Scout Masters get in trouble.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well done, good sir!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I expected nothing less in reply.

King Hippo
Member

I was a weird kid who refused to do anything (other than el beisbol) that required a uniform. I found that creepy as fuck.

Thank God my (former military) Dad respected my weirdness. Or at least he listened to my Mom’s intervention.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My dad was in the service for years and was lowered in rank a few times for multiple instances of “being out of uniform.” So I wore out that shit after a few years in cub scouts.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Came back from Khalifa after 10 months of work. In July, I had learned from my mother that my younger brother “borrowed” my car and had an accident.

He did not have permission from me to use my car…EVER.

So after my mother begged and pleaded (along with the realization that filing charges on the other side of the globe would be difficult to say the least), I told her not to worry about it.

I land at BWI airport on December 23rd.

I was immediately arrested at customs. Seems my brother claimed my identity. So I had like DUI, assault and battery on some cops, felony evading, destruction of public property, failure to appear, etc.

I didn’t get out of police custody until Christmas day.

Made for an interesting diner at my parents’ place.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Normally I’d say that looks like quite the rap sheet, but these days you can get all those charges thrown at you just for answering the cops’ questions in too loud of a voice.

King Hippo
Member

or if moving any part of your body (whilst black)

litre_cola
Member

Holy shit. I would be very displeased with your brothers antics. You are an upstanding citizen yet got fucked over.

King Hippo
Member

no good deed goes unpunished

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Reason enough for me to live a life of depravity, vice, and wickedness.

Redshirt
Member

My advice, research the statute of limitations on grand theft auto and add it to his identity theft charge.

But you have bigger problems. Like where to hide your brother’s body.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Holy shit.

Is it already Christmas?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Is Tom Brady dead? Then, no.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Your brother seems like a dick.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Leave BigBlackRichard out of this. He has it bad enough being in Oregon in his “condition.”

Big Black Richard
Member
Big Black Richard

I had it bad enough being in Oregon and riding in the Naked Bike Ride without getting my BigBlackRichard caught between the chain and the gears.

(I’m not THAT big….I was riding a children’s bike.)

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Your parents have a diner?
Double TT ?
(inside Baltimore area diner joke)

They’re actually very good….
http://doubletdiner.com/

litre_cola
Member

Montana booze laws are way better than North dakota!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

The funny part is that in 50 years, thanks to global warming those godforsaken wastelands will be a paradise!

/not really, they’ll still be godforsaken wastelands, just a lot hotter and drier.

Redshirt
Member

I just realized I’m watching a 17th season Simpsons episode. Can I perform an exorcism on my TV or should I take it out back and shoot it?

blaxabbath
Member

Show ain’t no good no more.

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King Hippo
Member

Elvis will never steer you wrong

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

In conclusion, the build up to the end of days is happening just as the old gypsy woman said it would

blaxabbath
Member

I’m glad McCain didn’t die last weekend. I think it’s important that he gets in a few more votes to set an example for the children that, it isn’t what you say, it’s what you do that matters.

Also, let’s get to tax cuts!

Redshirt
Member

I still don’t understand why people voted for the bill so it could be defeated. That’s like going to the bar with a coworker, getting drunk, going to a cheap hotel, haphazardly removing clothes, and THEN deciding to be faithful to your wife.

King Hippo
Member

after last Nov, I don’t understand nuthin’ no more

Redshirt
Member

Hillary forgot that she had to make an effort in getting votes in the Flyover States and Republicans were so committed to voting for Not Hillary that they failed to think of who they’d be voting in.

So in conclusion, we’re all fucked.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

The ONLY argument I’ve heard that makes any sense is that they want to have the debate and then have it fall apart so they can say they tried and it’s not the “fault” of any one Senator (read: Heller) that they didn’t repeal obamacare. But fuck these guys for pretending they’re noble when this is about donor politics.

Oh, and allegedly Steve Wynn’s pressure is the reason Dean Heller voted yes on the motion to proceed, so if any of you live in Nevada, you know exactly where you stand in the eyes of your senior Senator.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I can’t wait until they get to the part of the Laffer curve where taxes are low enough that they not only increase government revenue, but they also provide fresher breath and protect you from harmful radiation, too.

blaxabbath
Member

Because of the North Korea, you see….

King Hippo
Member

and the sooner the better

blaxabbath
Member

I’m at work late here and I get an email from one of my managers. The owner of one of the projects we are starting is requiring a complete quantities breakdown of the components list for each of their designs (not required anywhere in the project documents). So, they give us garbage drawings and make us provide a hard number lump sum bid (which they have accepted) and then come back and say, “Now tell us exactly what you’re fabricating” so they can walk it over to my slackjawed ‘competitor’ and go, “I know you’re too stupid to figure out what we need so I brought you blax’s design! Now that he’s done all the heavy lifting for you on his dime, how much to fabricate and install this package?”

On the plus side, I got to write a nice email explaining why we don’t provide this information and then laying it on real thick about how SOME owners are, unfortunately, world class turds, not like the class acts we’re dealing with on this project, and then pointing out that the dipshits they want to shop me to can’t even meet the project specs.

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Redshirt
Member

Sounds a lot like my work.

Redshirt: “Something isn’t where its supposed to be. Can you fix it?”
Group A: “This isn’t our job. Its Group B’s.”

(five minutes later)

Redshirt: “Something isn’t where its supposed to be. Can you fix it?”
Group B: “This isn’t our job. Its Group A’s”

(ten minutes later)

From: Redshirt@work.com
To: GroupA@work.com; GroupB@work.com
CC: RedshirtsBoss@work.com

Subject: Thing that isn’t where its supposed to be

Please get together, get off your high horses, minimize your Solitaire game, get your heads out of your asses, and remove the thing that isn’t where its supposed to be!!!

Love,
Redshirt

(email paraphrased slightly)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

That reminds me of that time a supplier forgot to include an attachment with their quote for some rental equipment, and when I immediately responded saying “hey, you forgot the quote” they waited another 24 hours to actually send it. That time? Today.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

You mean this won’t suffice?

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

110 of 111 brains from former NFL players

Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy.

blaxabbath
Member

I do think there is something to be said for the sample pool. It makes sense that the family of a guy who’s all off his rocker would want to know what happened. But the families of dudes who retired and went on to live (and die) without any symptoms of mental illness wouldn’t be as interested in participating.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

My takeaway from it is that if you think you might have CTE, you definitely have CTE.

King Hippo
Member

“Raisin toast? SURE!”

– T. Green

WCS
Member

Peter King really is the Peter King of journalism.

King Hippo
Member

I hope Peter King dies. Whilst being eaten and/or raped by a gang of ants and/or spiders.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Yes to all of that.

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