Your “Meanwhile, Back At The Legion of Boom…” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Notes:

  • Kam Chancellor agreed to a three-year extension. Three years, $36 million – with $25 million guaranteed.
    • Look forward to Seattle in 2017 having a great defence, and Russell Wilson having to run for his life because they can only afford tackling dummies on the O-line.
  • Injuries have forced Ryan Clady to retire after 8 years.
    • He’d spent most of the last three on some form of injured reserve.
  • Injuries:
    • Panthers: Cam Newton’s shoulder is bad enough that he’s not throwing at practice.
    • Ravens:
      • Crockett Gillmore tore an MCL and is likely done for the season.
        • Maybe Kaep can catch his own passes for the Ravens.
          • After all, a new jersey would spike merch sales.
            • FYI – Dreamboat is #1.
      • Nico Siragusa is also done, but one-upp’d Gillmore by tearing his ACL, MCL & PCL on one play.
        • So the Ravens might need a scrambling QB. Hmm…
  • Who says the Patriots don’t have enough grit?!
    • “Defensive back Stephon Gilmore, who signed a five-year, $65 million deal with the team in March, tangled with wide receiver and fan favorite Julian Edelman, resulting in the ejection of both players from Tuesday morning’s practice session.” (ESPN)
      • No word on if their mothers were forced to report to the coach’s room after practice to “explain” their son’s behaviour.
  • In other training camp fights, here’s a surprise: Vontaze Burfict hit Giovani Pollard Bernard (edit) low, so those two went at it.
    • He appeared, to the offensive coaches, to have targeted the knee Pollard tore up last season.
    • I’ll let the video speak for itself”

  • In a shocking development, the Chargers appear to have lost most of their former San Diego fanbase due to their move up the Interstate. (I-5? I-15? I-405?).
    • Of the 800 people surveyed by the Union-Tribune, “one in three say they’ll root for the team to lose its games this season, while slightly more (35 percent) say they’ll root for the team to win.”
      • Huh – I expected worse numbers for an organization so petty they’re keeping teammates from attending their colleague’s Hall of Fame enshrinement.
        • UPDATE: Gates may now have permission. Rivers will stay & practice, because of course he will.
    • When reached for comment, Dean Spanos had this to say to the people of San Diego:

Finally, per the Washington Post, the League has reached out to the NFLPA to discuss a joint study on the subject of marijuana as an element of pain management.

  • Makes sense, since studies showing the long-term effects of using pills make the NFL look like a common drug dealer.
    • The union is already doing its own study, because it wants proof of efficacy when appealing suspensions for PED violations.
  • And especially when Roger Goodell cites a 23 year-old study that shows NFL players live 5 years longer than “civilians”, but then welches on contributing to a concussion research study.

(FYI – DFO has 16 separate tags combining some form of “Roger Goodell” and “disgrace”. Question: the right number, or too few?)


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at White Sox – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Twins at Padres – 10:00PM | FS1
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • Canada Summer Games:
    • Beach Volleyball – 7:00PM | TSN

Holy shit – I never thought I’d be desperate for the Hall of Fame game, an event where the stars usually only play one set of downs. So many guys who’ll get cut. WHOSE NAMES SHOULD I BOTHER TO REMEMBER?!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Shogun Marcus
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Primus have an album coming at the end of the month, so I’m guessing this tour is a test run to see what works. Clutch don’t care, Clutch just do.
YOUTH. ALBUM MEANS MULTIPLE SONGS, ALL AT ONE TIME. NETFLIX FOR YOUR EARS.

Shogun Marcus
Member

I have safely arrived home from Clutch & Primus despite the efforts of this fine state’s DOT. It was a lovely evening, even though the humidity was insane. Wasn’t paper mill bad, but for beginners it clearly took it’s toll. Also was the first time a security guard demanded to smell my cigarettes at screening. Going by the contact buzz I got while there, they failed.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

What was the best song from each?

SonOfSpam
Member

Best song from Primus was probably the beaver one, because beaver.

They probably have many better songs, but then again, beaver.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

I meant from the show tonight. But you’re not wrong.

Those Damned Blue Collar Tweekers happens to be my favorite though.

SonOfSpam
Member

No, I get it, but also Free Bird.

Shogun Marcus
Member

3/4 of Tweekers was done, then it was a progwank for 10, then finally closure. Most of the set was that actually. Too Many Puppies/Sgt Baker/Puppies. Jerry was untouched though.

Shogun Marcus
Member

Clutch did spacegrass which is always good. Whole set was as always. Primus did a lot of wankery, which I’m good with most times. But it was clear they were playing to match their videoscreens. Ideas that seemed good at practice don’t necessarily work in real time. That said Mud (even with the 3 minute outro), and Jerry naturally.

blackroseMD1
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blackroseMD1

I feel like this will also be the title of my biography.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

To quote the Nicholson Joker, “If ya gotta go, go with a smile.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I just found out the lady has not seen the breakfast club. This requires rectification.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Does it really?

Shogun Marcus
Member

Yes, before it gets raped, I mean rebooted, which it will.

SonOfSpam
Member

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Don T
Member

I used to love that movie, until a then-fellow-teen remarked “Pshh, all they do is talk!” So I went along with that.
I was wrong. Great movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola
Member

Evening people I enjoy more than 90% of real people. How the fuck are we doing?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am doing well. Hope your night is going the same.

litre_cola
Member

Got shelled at ball. Started the season 20-3-1 (damn you selig) and have finished off 0-6. Solid.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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BRING ME THE 10%

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Belichick was fined $50,000 for this hit.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Oh, as promised. I took a photo of that Calvin art today.

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck everything.

blaxabbath
Member

: The ESPN 30 for 30 about Jed York: the true architect of the 0-17 2017 49ers

Don T
Member

That banner pic! 🤣

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So I get to take care of my mom’s dog for the next 3-5 days, which means getting over there every 6 hours on a schedule, each visit taking an hour. I like my dog better, not that I do it often or intentionally but if it comes to it he is good for 15 hours between being let out if it happens. Also he hates loud noises but will walk next to me the entirety of mowing my lawn. My mom’s dog just runs away all the time. She does like me more than my mom though which annoys my mom.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

You’re a good son, fwiw.
Why not just stay at mom’s house instead of the every six hour thing?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

No AC or cable. I am allergic to that dog fiercely because I am not around it all the time so I feel like dying after around her too long. Too lazy to move my computer. I would have to come back to take care of the other dog anyways.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That’s quite a lot of reasons. Fair enough.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Member
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad got a house in the same school district for my sister too. It is just a walk up a hill and head over a schools length walking, but with the construction closing off everything it’s like a 15 minute drive.

SonOfSpam
Member
Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’ve never lived in a house with AC and I turned out fine.

SonOfSpam
Member

Self-diagnosis is generally not DSM approved (DSM = Dong Sucky Money)

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

That was the joke.

SonOfSpam
Member

Wait…we’re joking now?

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Best burglars in EVAR.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

They stole my heart!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

tWBS: Hey, who are you and why are in my hou…..oh wow. Here, take anything you want.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Finally, per the Washington Post, the League has reached out to the NFLPA to discuss a joint study on the subject of marijuana as an element of pain management.

Funny, I was just thinking, because of the short statements certain people made at this event I was at, that “collaborate” in all its forms is such a terrific weasel word because it implies action without purpose, direction, goals, or actual effort.

Don T
Member

Outreach and awareness too. Better than nothing, they’ll say. True, but nothing to brag about.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It’s less than nothing. Doing nothing doesn’t raise anyone’s hopes only to bash their skulls on the rocks.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I should’ve gone with wine. That seems to work to get the blood flowing.

litre_cola
Member

Yes. Always go with wine.

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

“Oh, now you tell us.” — Huckabee’s large, dog-murdering sons.

SonOfSpam
Member

Huckabee and his progeny should be wiped from the earth which should then be salted. Like, a Lot.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I agree.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Remember, Romney’s dog’s name was…Seamus

theeWeeBabySeamus
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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Duchess
Member

So Trump and company lie so much that he should just come out and say “Yeah I got help from Russia so what?” and we’d all write it off as. “well if he’s saying he did it just, proves he didn’t do it”

King Hippo
Member

Hee hee. That is the Beltway Media’s sliding scale to a T. Here’s today’s morsel:

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/did-president-trump-dictate-the-false-statement-or-was-it-president-putin

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

There is literally nothing he can say or do that will mean anything because Congress is run by cretins.

theeWeeBabySeamus
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

OOK OOK

King Hippo
Member

we are all gonna engage in self-abuse for the duration of this shitty HoF game, yeah?

JustStopDude
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JustStopDude

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nomonkeyfun
Member

Is today a day?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

You know you’ve seen too much porn when you recognize the cinematography.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Get used to it, Li’l Dude.
It only gets worse.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Consent is sexy

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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King Hippo
Member

My air conditioning has been out since Sunday afternoon. Fuck the laws of physics, that is why time travel ain’t never gonna happen.

/plus only white ppl could really do that, and I’m guessing we will be mostly killed off in a more enlightened future

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Shit, didn’t know A/C dying was contagious.
I’m a nice cool 71. That’s the temp, not my age, assholes.

King Hippo
Member

fortunately, the miracle of “3 straight sub-90, no humidity” days is upon us

/still 83 in the Hippo Lair

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Indeed, your timing was better than mine.
(damn smart fucker)

SonOfSpam
Member

If you murdered someone because you lost your AC, I would not vote to convict. Also, I’m a terrible person, but you knew that.

King Hippo
Member

Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals made no trades. They are just shitty enough to have no hope, but apparently not shitty enough to even get rid of their pending FAs, even if the market isn’t great.

Nice that we can help MIL’s self-esteem yet again, at least.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I am impressed that Gareon Conley managed to sound like a mature, intelligent adult in his statement regarding his legal ordeal while at the exact same time brazenly proclaiming “FUCK THE CHARGERS.”
https://mobile.twitter.com/_gconley8/status/892422686588129280/photo/1

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Huh. The giant spool of wire usually gets off on the second floor.

SonOfSpam
Member

Excellent random Simpsons reference.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Fucking pain pills are nothing to fuck with.

Thanks to my spina bifida, I grew up on opiates. I got taken off of legal drugs, ended on H for a little while before I got clean before getting in the navy.

Okay…I may have gotten clean in basic training…but semantics.

Years later, I am up in fucking Martinsville. I was driving back from a job I had to come home early because I thought I had a testicular torsion. My girl at the time was calling urologists up and down to find one that could see me.

Turns out it ain’t my nut but its a problem with my spine. So the doc starts writing scripts. I tell him 1) I got a job that I get drug tested for weekly and 2) I am a former intravenous drug user and I cannot be trusted with pain pills. Basically we got to go a non-pain pill route.

He replies “You can go on disability” and he shoved in scripts for oxi, vic, and percs in my hands and pushes me out the door. .

I ended up burning the scripts in the parking lot with my lighter because I was terrified if I held onto them I was going to get them filled.

I am willing to bet the majority of ex-players that did more than five years are current, hardcore opiate users, either legal or illegal forms.

Redshirt
Member

Good for you!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Seconded. Good for you.
Self-awareness is an undervalued quality these days, and I applaud you for it, Sir.

nomonkeyfun
Member

current hardcore opiate users…legal

Also known as the Baltimore parent of the year.

Seriously though, good for you, and a hearty FUCK YOU, SHITBIRD to that lazy piece of shit pill pusher of a “doctor”.

I wouldn’t wish the hell of an opioid addiction on anyone, except Goodell, but I can’t wait for someone to take a $docs” advice, and then sue him for every penny he has.

blaxabbath
Member

The doctor was….Bill.

Dr Bill.

@doctorbill

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I would say you should report that fucker to the state board, but those fuckers could murder God and get away with it.

But that’s great. I’m glad you took the right course.

litre_cola
Member

Godd for you. Definitely report that doc.

SonOfSpam
Member

One ‘d’ in God, fucking heathen.

scotchnaut
Member

I have no idea why Will Smith is trying so hard for me to like him-it’s been going on for years now.

Redshirt
Member

One: Its Giovani Bernard.
Two: At least he didn’t hit his head.
Three: Kill me now.

Redshirt
Member

Oh, good. There was two Bengal-on-Bengal fights (Burfict didn’t start this one).

At this rate, we’re going to see this by Week 6.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

A) Any time a coach goes at it with a player, I support the coach getting physical without a helmet on
B) Any comments from Vontazemebro?
C) Is that a facebook like button?
D) Is this where we come to buy our half off HRTN posters? https://www.zazzle.com/zombotronic

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Fuck Facebook

yeah right
Member

Regarding which interstate(s) from San Diego North?
Yes on all three.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

The answer is, of course, none.

The correct way to phrase the question is: The 5, The 15, or The 405?

The answer is The 5 to The 405. The 15 is now the Raiders’ freeway.

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

Assuming they even play the HoF game. I wouldn’t be surprised if they learned nothing from the clusterfuck that was the attempt last year.

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