Your Short & Simple Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • The Ezekiel Elliott appeal had its hearing before a federal panel on Monday.
    • A three-judge panel with the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans is reviewing the NFL’s request for an emergency stay of an injunction issued by a lower court in the Elliott case.
      • If the League wins, they can begin enforcement of the suspension immediately.
      • If the NFLPA wins, the injunction currently in place allows Elliott to play the whole season.
  • The League is claiming ticket sales show over 90% capacity for 30 of 32 NFL teams.
    • The clear exceptions are the two LA teams.
      • Where Todd Gurley is going on radio “begging” fans to come to their game versus the Seahawks this Sunday.
    • They also claim a strong secondary market for tickets.
  • By 2023, Warren Buffett will own 80% of Pilot Flying J, purchasing the majority stake from Jimmy Haslam.
    • His Berkshire Hathaway company purchased 38.6% of the company today
      • The Haslam family will retain operational control.
    • The Browns will stay under Haslam family control.
  • Josh Norman broke a rib in the [Redacteds} loss to the Chiefs.

Finally, remember fondly that Tom Petty played the halftime of Super Bowl XLII, when the Giants did the world a favour & beat the 18-0 Patriots. Most halftime shows are a greatest hits medley, but this one was the stuff he wanted to play during the one time he’d ever do this. It made the show a little more memorable.


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • AL Wild Card:
      • Twins at Yankees – 8:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

The Senor has you covered for all your baseball needs. I’ll have a brief hockey preview tomorrow. DFO: HELPING YOU KNOW ENOUGH SO AS TO IGNORE EVERYTHING!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That being said; this is a god damn great Halloween zombie cat shirt.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

And all the exhales now.

Horatio Cornblower

Congrats Senor.

And with that, I’m off to bed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Sweet jesus fuck is that game still on?

Horatio Cornblower

Quiet, Philistine!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Well Horatio, unless bad things happen, no Betances!

Horatio Cornblower

Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Sorry, sorry!
/Flogs self

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, I’m not one to judge on something that inspires one to masturbate.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Too many chemicals in the hot tube.

WCS

AKA: A Weekend In Lake Erie

Senor Weaselo

You don’t see that everyday… in the majors.

SonOfSpam

God I love everything about that scene. Fuck anyone who says Hurt didn’t deserve the Oscar.

Unsurprised

I need to start going to the gym.

https://gfycat.com/DisgustingOfficialBelugawhale
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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Make sure to take your camera.

Unsurprised

Of course.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Woot! Finished up HRTN early this week! Doing something fun for October…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Ronnie Mund approves.

Senor Weaselo

Kidnapping the Sandy Claws?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

It’s gonna be a HRTN Horror Movie Double-Feature.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One for Hippo.

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Horatio Cornblower

*Taco Bell Marketing Meeting*

Head Guy: People, we’re losing money on our breakfasts. This is a high volume, low profit margin market but it’s one we need to own. Ideas?

Marketing 1st Year: (snorts HUGE line of cocaine) What if, and hear me out here, we take the costs of the bread completely out of the breakfast sandwich equation?

HG: (snorts huger line of cocaine) The fuck is the matter with you? Then we need to spend money on plates!

M1stY: No, no, no, no. We just overcook the unholy Christ out of the egg and then use that rubbery abomination as the shell!

HG: Holy shit…you are going to be the emperor of this company.

/cut to group laughter scene
//cut to group cocaine scene.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

That’s certainly… an image…

Senor Weaselo

But of what?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was hoping someone here would know.

Gratliff

End of Evangelion finale. I still own this DVD. It’s why I have to tell my neighbors when I move. It also gave us this dandy upbeat suicide serenade.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DK4FTvaW_6Q

Gratliff

The Third Impact in all its glorious insanity:
https://vimeo.com/194440578

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn, thanks.

Horatio Cornblower

Does it matter?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, you have a good point there.

WCS

The reign of Cthulu?

Brick Meathook

Crown Royal Apple?

Brick Meathook

For when you run out of vanilla extract.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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So they give you a job and a mortgage?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was thinking wife, but same difference.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, so mortgage and no house; I get it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And few if any “jobs”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe one job to live, one job to pay?

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Quite the squirter.

Horatio Cornblower

Tinkerbell is the excuse I use when I come home late from the nudie bar.

“No honey, I caught the last showing of Peter Pan, that’s why I’m covered with glitter.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s young enough to be covered in Gary……..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

SMRT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

‘Oh, good, Jessica Mendoza has chimed in” said no one ever.

Horatio Cornblower

Contrary to what Aaron Boone just said Tommy Canle, (or however the fuck he spells it), walks people every fucking time I watch him pitch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ikeasuicide

Horatio Cornblower

You set it up yourself but you never die, because it all keeps falling apart.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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He needs a night in the meat tent.

Senor Weaselo

Don’t we all?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, I didn’t mean the meat holster……..

Unsurprised

By 2023, Warren Buffett will own 80% of Pilot Flying J, purchasing the majority stake from Jimmy Haslam.
His Berkshire Hathaway company purchased 38.6% of the company today
The Haslam family will retain operational control.
The Browns will stay under Haslam family control.

Whoever first said “Crime doesn’t pay” was a fucking moron.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Slenderman and Son on tour this fall!

Horatio Cornblower

Great fucking camera work there Fox. I’m sending you the bill for these shit-stained pants.

Senor Weaselo

ESPN breathes a sigh of relief.

WCS

So, Insane Clown Posse is on the Jim Jefferies Show.

There’s a sequence of words I never thought I’d type.

Senor Weaselo

Aaaaaand another moment of exhale.

Mr. Ayo

That’s NOT how you cock block.

Gratliff

Tangentially related to other thread, the combination of most delicious and physically painful to eat candy goes to Goldenburg’s Peanut Chews. A candy so Philly, they put it in the bar code.

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LemonJello

“It’s like a battery to the head on a cold day.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaha…nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

So delicious, so pointy.

Senor Weaselo

Robertson’s reaction wins.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Same as mine, frankly.

Horatio Cornblower

FRANKS AND BEANS!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ohhhhh…that’s gonna leave a mark.

Senor Weaselo

Thaaaaaat’s a dickshot.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wonder if he’s start a fight this time.

Gratliff

Hm. Trump went on Fox News and said they’re going to have to wipe out PR’s debts. This should create a fascinating meltdown from the austerity types.

WCS

Yes, as evidenced by all the other times his base has been upset or disappointed in any of his actions thus far.

Gratliff

I don’t know that I think of them as his base. More like they see him as a useful idiot, which is odd given that he is least often that particular brand of idiot.

WCS

What I meant was, checkout the #MAGA crowd on TWITTERZ. Trump could literally cut the head off a bald eagle, and they’d say the eagle had it coming.

Gratliff

Ah, yes. THey super don’t give a fuck as long as it fits the impossibly broad definition of owning the libs.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, but did you see how that eagle was dressed?

Gratliff

“Was I supposed to not fuck the Eagle?” – A visibly confused, sated Donald Trump

Shogun Marcus

You just grab em by the pus…uhh…bird…egg…hole?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

AMERICA DOESN’T WANT YOU! PAY YOUR RENT!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I posted that idea (not original on one of the threads. Maybe I was wrong. I intended that Wall Streets who took advantage should feel some of that pain.

Gratliff

Oh yeah. I think it’s good. I just want to see all the rich cunts facepalming in their penthouses.

LemonJello

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Shogun Marcus

I must eat fresh… *poof* uhh yeah, yeah you must! What? I might be an angel, but Goddamn!

herodotus450

Did this Yanqui pitcher reall only get one out? This is the fucking playoffs don’t they have someone who can fucking pitch?
/Maybe a little cranky without my night chees

Horatio Cornblower

Most of their bullpen is doing just fine.

/Please, please, please do not put Betances in.

Senor Weaselo

THIS. ABSOLUTELY THIS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

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LemonJello

Counterpoint.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is that four points?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I remember when this aired, some pervs said that you could see the impression of a clit ring. I couldn’t, but anyway.

WCS

I would pay damn good money to see/hear a Disney princess say that in a movie.

Wakezilla

Used take Gaelic history with a guy who was a former disney cruise photographer. Apparently there are videos and pics of these princesses doing naughty things and saying stuff like that. It’s what they did late at night on their downtime because they weren’t allowed to drink

LemonJello

Minnesota got TWO safeties in this game?

/may not understand how the scoring works in based ball

Game Time Decision

they are playing by CFL rules, a field goal and a rouge.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was hoping a shitty Halloween candy argument was going to erupt; I have failed.

Senor Weaselo

Can we have a good Halloween/in general candy debate? I’m partial to Butterfingers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like the taste; but those fuckers will damage your mouth right good.

litre_cola

Snickers all day.

Senor Weaselo

Those don’t count, if you like peanuts at all you like Snickers.

litre_cola

Correct. I do like Watchamacalit when I visit your country

Romonobyl

Take out the peanuts and you have a Milky Way.

Shogun Marcus

Candy corn can fuck off. It can take those shitty orange and black wrapped taffy/nougat things with “peanut butter” in the middle with it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh that reminds me…Reese’s used to have this one which was like a milky way, but the fluffy shit in the middle was PB flavored. I loved those things. But apparently I was the only one because the quit making them. Dicks.

Romonobyl

Charleston Chew motherfuckers.

Shogun Marcus

Frozen!

Romonobyl

Oh yeah, forgot about that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Have not had, will find.

Shogun Marcus

Find?! I’ll send you some!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t remember seeing them here in Colorado; are they a regional thing? I’m probably missing them.

Shogun Marcus

PB Max?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wanna say Reese’s Puffs, but I could be mistaken.

Shogun Marcus

Puffs are the cereal. Fastbreak?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What the fuck? I hate candycorn too, but will take some some when there is a bowl out. I just need to burn down the fucking factory; only solution.

Shogun Marcus

Like Lewis Black said, there is no factory. It was all made once and just gets collected and rebagged.

herodotus450

Candy? Much too sweet for me. I do have all these pictures of cakes though.

Spanky Datass

I impulse bought the Snickers fun-size variety pack the other day. They will not last until Halloween.

Senor Weaselo

They may not last until next week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some wrappers were found in your intestines.

WCS

Apparently, a soccer stadium in Russia didn’t have the minimum capacity for a World Cup match, so the Rooskies improvised:

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WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am sure all safety and environmental precautions were followed.

Senor Weaselo

Only the most strenuous!

WCS

Da, comrade!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

IN RUSSIA SOCCER STADIUM TRAMPLE YOU!!

Spanky Datass

In Soviet Russia stadium watches YOU … masturbate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn it.

WCS

Snoogins.

Romonobyl

That should be a quick, efficient collapse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

That entire dugout is probably on some kind of bovine growth hormone (except maybe Torreyes) and I no longer care!

Col. Duke LaCross

Business picked up!

SonOfSpam

Huh. So Aaron Judge is big and strong.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Except for the testicular atrophy.

Senor Weaselo

I did not think that was high enough.

WCS

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High enough.

WCS

Being stuck in the hospital can be a bit tedious, but, the nurses here don’t care if I drink. Why, hello, brand new bottles of bourbon!

I just wish I could get a six pack.

Romonobyl

Wow, damned progressive facility. Or fucking reckless…fine line ya know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We’ll see if the on call doctor shares.

WCS

I have to fight the urge to ask the nurse for a happy fun-time pill whenever wifey gets her’s.

Senor Weaselo
Brocky

Once again, I’m not going to tell someone how to do their job, but if you’re going to advertise “pizza, wings, sandwiches, and Italian”, i think I have every right to expect you to serve chicken parmesan, or anything with Alfredo sauce, for that matter

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross
litre_cola

Who the fuck buys their kid an Incognito jersey? The guy is a bully of the worst order.

Col. Duke LaCross

Terror of the nursery school. Even the teachers hate that little shit.