It’s here! It’s here! It’s finally here!
OH GOD, I NEED MORE!!!111!
And maybe a little something for my American friends?
Looking ahead to tomorrow, here are the NFL broadcast maps courtesy the fine folks at 506sports.com:
CBS SINGLE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh | Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon |
| █ | LA Chargers @ NY Giants* | Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts |
| █ | Tennessee @ Miami | Andrew Catalon, James Lofton |
| █ | Buffalo @ Cincinnati | Tom McCarthy, Steve Beuerlein, Steve Tasker |
| █ | Baltimore @ Oakland (LATE) | Greg Gumbel, Trent Green |
| █ | Seattle @ LA Rams (LATE) | Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta |
*NOTE: LA Chargers-NY Giants will air in Los Angeles on KCAL 9.
That Chargers-Giants game looks like it’s going to be BRUUUUUUUUTAL. The over/under on Dan Fouts “back in my day” stories is 6, slightly less than the number of Eli-Philip draft-day 2004 stories. IT MIGHT BE THEIR LAST TIME!
FOX EARLY
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Carolina @ Detroit | Kenny Albert, Charles Davis |
| █ | Arizona @ Philadelphia | Chris Myers, Daryl Johnston |
| █ | NY Jets @ Cleveland | Sam Rosen, Ronde Barber |
| █ | San Francisco @ Indianapolis | Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on CBS | |
Okay, work with me here. The Jets-Browns game is a must-watch due to the car crash nature of both teams. But why is this shit on FOX? They’re both AFC teams. I know there are arcane rules about who gets what game when it’s split between conferences, but this seems like CBS begged the League to make FOX host a shit show for once. How else can you explain why Seahawks-RAMMIT! is on CBS?
FOX LATE
█ Anchorage AK | █ Fairbanks AK
█ Honolulu HI
| █ | Green Bay @ Dallas | Joe Buck, Troy Aikman |
| █ | NO GAME due to local team at home on CBS | |
All I can say is that God, or Roger Goodell, or possibly both, hate the Bay area. Sure, Oakland-Baltimore is a good-looking game, but why can’t they have both? The Raiders are already leaving; why force locals to watch the misery slip away?
Tonight’s sports: Just look at this bounty –
- NHL:
- Rangers at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC / MSG
- Red Wings at Senators – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1 / FS-Detroit
- Predators at Penguins – 7:00PM | NHLN
- Canadiens at Capitals – 7:00PM | CITY / TVAS / CSN-DC
- Blue Jackets at Black Hawks – 8:30PM | WGN
- Oilers at Canucks – 10:00PM | CBC
- Jets at Flames – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1 / CITY
- NCAA:
- Kansas State at Texas – 7:00PM | FS1
- Alabama at Texas A&M – 7:15PM | ESPN
- Virginia Tech at Boston College – 7:15PM | ESPN2
- Michigan State at Michigan – 7:30PM | ABC
- Washington State at Oregon – 8:00PM | FOX
- Stanford at Utah – 10:30PM | FS1
- Cal at Washington – 10:45PM | ESPN
- San Diego State at UNLV – 10:45PM | ESPN2
- Baseball:
- Divisional series:
- Game 2: Cubs at Nationals – 5:30PM | TBS / Sportsnet
- Game 2: Diamondbacks at Dodgers – 9:00PM | TBS / Sportsnet
- Divisional series:
Enjoy your evening. We’ll get to work on Monday-but tomorrow’s only Sunday and we are out to have a fun day for it’s Saturday tonight.
THE BOYS ARE GETTIN’ STINKO!
Old Yeller’s revenge?
The trained Hollywood dog does his job and jumps up to get the treat that’s in the stuntman’s hand. After that, he’s just watching the stuntman fall off the set piece and is thinking “wow look at that dude fall that looks cool I hope I get another treat.”
Aleih, you all are bad influences. I’m off to bed.
Hey, some of us are only here to be influenced by and into bad decisions!
What? This boring F1 race isn’t even halfway done yet!
How about dem Ice Liouns!?!
/Turns TV to SNL to see Gal Gadot.
Gal Gadot, number 1 hate fuck with a bullet
On a scale of Balki Bartokomous to Joseph Goebbels, how morally wrong would it be to eat peanut laden trail mix in the home of my friend who is putting me up and has a kid with a deadly peanut allergy?
While I like seeing kids in full blown anaphylaxis as much as the next guy, as long as you don’t eat it and then tongue kiss the kid then I think you’re good.
Like seriously, don’t tongue kiss the kid even if you don’t eat peanuts, tho.
You’re no fun anymore
As if I ever was?
Probably depends on who’s holding
Moose gets it. The correct answer was Casey Anthony.
We can turn “Casey Anthony” into a verb if you like. Hell, I referred to Central America as a continent earlier.
In the words of Carlito Cool, “That’s not cool.”
STOP THE FUCKING CAR! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT LEAVING YOU TRASH OUT?!?
So Wayne Simmonds is probably better than Claude Giroux now. Huh.
Well, as a person? Morally or ethically? I suppose what really matters is Wayne can hold his liquor a lot better than Claude.
Because I drafted Claude over Wayne, this is an inevitability
Khalil Tate is Vicklike. He might be the savior for Arizona and Richrod’s career.
He’s gonna go home back to the dorms and punch some chick now, isn’t he?
Shit, may as well go down fighting.
SNAKECEPTION
It’s a catch.
Soooo….Cal might not be as good as I thought.
Is it weird this makes me hungry?
Well… they’re not wrong?
America is three REGIONS that encompass many nations…..
[EDIT PER Sr. Mr. Weasselo.]
I was focusing more on the “best country in the nation” bit that I didn’t catch it. And Central America is not considered a continent.
Sorry; regions. Correct; ‘MURIKA! YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS HIPPIE!
Although; the US has fucked with every country from interference to outright regime change that we can claim them as our little brothers.
Gal Gadot is alright, but she’s no Golda Meir. Hubba Hubba!
HOT ZIONIST ORGY!!
We are all witness.
Trent Richardson dot championship dot gif
Sparty Party
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_wdRy7x4Sc
Back from Nats Park and a little post-game drinking. That could have gone better from the perspective of a Cubs fan.
Who won?
🙁
Caps, Liouns, Ice Liouns and Huskies are playing at once. No time for dirt football
As someone who had Ovi last year for my regular and playoffs pool, I fully support Olberman’s take that his ass ahould be deported back to Russia for wishing Putin a happy birthday. Bonus points in Olberman tries and fails to do this himself
At the gym, workingon the core and Indian barbie is thankfully here. One thing I can’t help but notice is that she wears the same outfit each time. Does she have a closet full of the same outfit or just one? I see her here 3-4 times a week, so I can’t say I caught her in between rotations, ya know?
Just imagine what A B A B up down up down reset would do to her.
The “pleasure” scene in Bruce Almighty?
Oh yeah, on a related note, evening lizard people. You would’ve gotten a House of Pain on McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce, but I got out of work at 3:30 and it was all gone by, let’s see, they started at 2, so… 2:03?
Go Sparty.
That is all.
I jinxed Sparty.
Now I will go and feel shame.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LToTYAOoqE
Sam Rosen’s doing Jets-Browns? He does know it will not be a power-play field goal, correct?
/On a related note, goddammit Ice Giants, how did everyone forget to play this much defense?
I see Ovechkin’s back in “I’m a fucking monster” mode again.
Well, it’s not the play-offs, so…
Nothing more terrifying on the golf courses in early June than the Ovie Monster…
I just realized you have a different name, what gives?
So the car design thingy was indeed about autonomous vehicles. It was awesome. This shit is really about to happen folks and I’m all in. Some really fucking cool technology.
Take me home Johnny Cab!
Autonomous cars are not for me. I like my cars the way I like my women; badly operated by me with a lot of squealing, screeching, burning and odd smells until a police officer pulls us over and tells us to knock it off, there are children in the neighborhood and what the hell’s the matter with you two anyway.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
I like my cars the way I like my old lover: problems with the manual stick shift and a charged object in the battery hole.
I like my cars like I like my women, German with all the junk in the trunk.
Lemme e’splain, many German cars have the engines in the back, please carry on.
I like my cars like I like my women. I usually can’t get ’em started and more often than not I forget where I left ’em.
I like my cars like I like my women: made in Korea and very economical.
I’ll stick with Otto.
“I’ll stick with Otto”
I’ll take ‘things heard at the KSK Fantasy Kommenter Draft‘ for $800 Alex.
I’ll never forget his Columbus Day joke.
Nepal is surprisingly expensive. I don’t know a huge amount about their government, but based on their income and the amount of rebuilding they’re still doing from the earthquake, I assume it kinda sucks
Expensive? Darn. So I guess I’m not getting that “Dok Zymm went to Nepal and all Spanky got was this lousy yak-hair poncho” I was hoping for?
Is it okay if the yak is still in it?
Absolutely! As long as the words are pre-woven into the yak hair. Bonus if it’s a female yak because my Angus bull tells me he has a bit of a yak fetish.
They’re OK, but I prefer Tupolev myself.
Must be nice. All I got was a Thank You for Calling Customer Service bumper sticker.
Their economy, to my understanding, is largely based on people who want to climb mountains that, in turn, want to kill people who climb them.
I’m not sure it’s the most sustainable economic plan I’ve ever heard of.
Just got home from taking the daughter to Boston, spent the day nerding out about comics, picked brisket and pulled pork on the way home, sat down, cracked an IPA from a local brewery, turned on the TV and it turns out the Nationals came back and beat the Cubs.
This day is making me question my atheism.
Educated Ook?
Somebody get him some Faulkner; he’ll be so confused he’ll forget how to peel a banana, let alone rule the world.
I’ve been bitten by mosquitoes in so many damn countries it’s amazing I don’t have malaria or something. I am an advocate for the complete extermination of all mosquito species. Why can’t we use our extermination skills for good for once?
But what about me?
I do agree though, add cockroaches to the list as well.
Spiders eat lots of other, more delicious stuff. It would be like getting rid of Bud Lite. Even frat boys would survive.
Give me credit for finding a crying spider pic.
It is pretty cute
I just got called into the other room to remove a spider the size of a quarter. Had to use the “slide a paper under an upside down glass” technique. Even I wasn’t picking that fucker up.
I worked in a pet store a lifetime ago that sold tarantulas for lord knows the fuck why. I wouldn’t get near those nasty little shits, and I handled boa constrictors.
Lord knows the human species has tried to nuke the mosquito. But they breed fast and are highly adaptable (ie, develop resistance quickly), at least per a book I read
I’m hoping that sterilization thing they’re trying works out. I’m not unreasonable, I can wait a year or two.
I read an article once where almost to a person, most entomologists wouldn’t have a problem with eradicating the entire species. It’s really the only time I’ve ever seen an entire group of scientists come to a consensus on something like that, outside of certain bacteria and viruses and such.
Because Mosquitoes did 9/11
Fun fact: I am the ultimate mosquito repellent. Those fuckers love sucking me off
Oh my Lord, the Ice Giants are tied.
It looks like the Oregon crowd is pantomiming gaping, fisted buttholes.
I’m not going to pretend I care about the IU-purdue rivalry, but the collective joy from purdue beating lowly Minnesota would be comical, if not for the shots at Indiana. Kinda reminds me of Notre dame beating Navy
the midwest is weird, dude
You think giving up home runs is bad?
Yeah. “Used to.”
Coastal Carolina has a football team. Who knew?
(they were your 2016 College World Series Champs, btw)
((Yes, I know you don’t know and don’t care))
GO CHANTICLEERS!!!!!!!!!!!!
time to see if these Cougars can have their way with some Ducks
SHAN’KHLOR has her way with Bama’s kicker.
time for a puppy sacrifice or three
#LetsPlay7
65-all
7 on 7?
these are not schools with deep scholarship reserves, they might move to it shortly
COME ON uBUFFALO….
6 OT
TAMU giving Roll Damn Tide a run for their cousins right now…
Well, their D is. O? Not so much.
5OT MAC-tion on ESPNU
So some 42 YO divorcee in Houston spent a fortune on plastic surgery to look like Melania Trump. Only in fucking Texas.
we can legally pee on her now, right?
TBS’s streaming site is so shitty that I am contemplating streaming it in an even more illegal way than I already am.
I can’t tell if LA is getting #RAMMIT or #TARPIT. If it’s the latter there’s not a win between the two competitors, that’s lovely.
I think both.
It’s weird; how does CBS have the rights to a game with 2 NFC teams (Seahawks vs Rams)?
Fox underestimated the intensity of RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! fever.
Fox/CBS can give up games to eachother if they have too many at once and think it would dilute their ratings for ad sales.
Go Cubs… the disappointment of DC area fuels me!!!
Nationals keep hitting right to the shortstop. Are they hoping he’ll get tired?
Who knew you needed an assistant hitting coach to know not to hit to the Short Stop
I kind of hate everything right now.
O HAI PILLZ AND BOURBON
Da U gunna get a win in Tallahassee.
And now we go to Bama/TAMU, already in progress…
Cincinnati game are shrinking to the point where, by Week 17, it will be one dot over my house.