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Your “Wait, there’s no football today?” Saturday Morning Soccer Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury

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As sad as it may seem,  there is only one game left in the NFL season and it is not today.  It’s time to get used to life without the NFL.

All is good, of course, because we not only have AFLW and AFL to look forward to but we still have good ole regular fútbol.  The original and still the worldwide champ.  This summer we also have the World Cup to look forward to as well as the associated various cups involved.

While summer arrives, we still have league fútbol to enjoy and Oh Kids has it been enjoyable to watch! I have to say that watching the collapse of Real Madrid this year has been a joy. True, they won the World Club Cup in the winter, but they only had to beat Gremio and a squad of journalists, so it wasn’t that hard.

Their stated goal is now to stay in the Champions League places in La Liga while concentrating on the Copa Del Rey and

Leganés eliminate Real at the Bernabeu

the Champions League. Sounds almost Arsenalesque.

Man City continues setting the pace in West Hollywood and the EPL. Meanwhile,  in Germany, the Bundesliga is essentially a season-long preparation for Russia with the dudes in Munich controlling everything. Please fill in your favorite WW2 simile.

I’m telling you, if I was a Mexican scout,  I’d be watching that league in preparing for the group stage. As Litre told you last week,  the teams under Bayern are fighting fiercely for the Champions League spots.

The Mexican league is in full swing and the action is muy muy caliente.  The fans too.

Future ex Mrs. Balls

Here are the game schedules with the US first and then Canada.

I have to say thank you to my Canadian friends for being such a kickass country and wonderful people.  A special lady friend of mine recently came back from your beautiful country and she returned raving about your friendly warm people and your beautiful snowy country.

Now,  if only that global warming would kick into high gear…

Ok,  that’s all for me.  Have at it!

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scotchnaut

Woof! St. Johns believes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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scotchnaut

Up by 11.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

No basket methinks.
Hippo might live.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

St. John’s?

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King Hippo

oh, Senor Weaselo gon drank…

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Senor Weaselo

It’s Saturday so I am mercifully teaching. And considering everything else, I owe myself two “Weaselo gon drank” moments from this year already.
/Checks score
Yeah, it was either this or lose by 40.
/Probably just jinxed it
//Still goes 0-18 in Big East play

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wort.

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Horatio Cornblower

I say UCONN’s offensive strategy of “5 Guys Who Met In The Parking Lot Ten Minutes Before The Game” is producing it’s usual results.

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blaxabbath

ASU had a guy last year (Juco transfer) who had been living in his car when he got signed to ASU.

I don’t remember how I worded it, but at the UA at ASU game last year, I totally nailed the, “[NAME] already lives in a car? Then why does he need a degree from ASU?” in a big UA section.

Man I was drunk.

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scotchnaut

For sure. They shoulda gone to the In-N-Out parking lot.

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scotchnaut

Notre Dame being really bad is really good.

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Unsurprised

One day a wind will blow so fiercely that it kills all of South Bend.

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scotchnaut

I’m almost sure that I just saw a “We need more of God’s Love” InterState Batteries cartoon commercial. Please tell me I’m wrong…

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scotchnaut

Credit to the Wolvies-they’re pressing now so that they can crush ND. Why don’t coaches do this more?*

*that is, coaches that bother to implement a press as more than a last minute ploy

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blaxabbath

I like how the news is like, “Trump says this Memo vindicated him!” Like, since when do we care what the defendant in a crime says? I never saw the news story about how Larry Nasser says there is no proof and that shows he is innocent.

How is the media still THIS bad at their job?

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Unsurprised

The media made him, and you’re asking this?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jayhawks will win this by 6+

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Horatio Cornblower

You spelled “Gunners” wrong.

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King Hippo

suicide…postponed?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I may hath spake too soon. OkieSt was panicked and KU had cut the lead to 7 very quickly.
But a TO seems to have calmed them down. Lead back up to 12, but still 14 mins to go.

I think you’ll be ok.

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Horatio Cornblower

4-0 Arsenal. On a clearly offsides play.

37 minutes gone.

Hippo may get to see Sam fired at the half.

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scotchnaut

I heard Ben McAdoo is looking for a job. [struggles mightily to maintain a straight face]

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I mean there’s a physician vacancy at MSU

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Horatio Cornblower

He seems over-qualified for that.

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scotchnaut

Meh. He’d end up having to hand it off to someone more capable.

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scotchnaut

Wolvies are throttling the Dirty Irish!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I just flipped over to check the score meself. Color me shocked. I figured with Farrell back they’d murderdeathkill us again.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

@Hippo: Kyle Washington sighting in Storrs!!!

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King Hippo

I don’t even remember his nickname. SHAME ON ME.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, me neither. That’s gonna drive me nuts for the rest of the day now.
DAMMIT HIPPO!!!!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Was it Slim Shady?

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King Hippo

NEIN

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King Hippo

For the record, what Arsenal is doing is illustrating the Lesser Footy phrase “Flat Track Bullies.”

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Horatio Cornblower

Everton’s defense looks like the prison guards in the early stages of the Attica riot.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This is hilarious. Or maybe I’m just an asshole still.
Maybe both.

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Unsurprised

It’s definitely hilarious.

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scotchnaut

Hoo-boy! OK St. up by 16…

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King Hippo

getting the noose ready, whistling MASH theme…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

THE WHOLE BIPOLAR STATE OF OKLAHOMA CAN KISS HIPPO’S ASS!!!!!!!!

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scotchnaut

[arranges hockey pucks to spell out GOODBYE]

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Unsurprised

We all need to exercise more. Except JSD, who may already be so focused on not smoking that he could run through a brick wall.

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scotchnaut

Girls jumping in horizontal striped shirts inspired Einstein’s theory of gravity… ppl forget that.

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scotchnaut

“Can’t believe this isn’t getting more likes.”

-Henri Poincare

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Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal with the insurmountable 1-nil lead early.

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Horatio Cornblower

2-0 Arsenal.

The one thing you can say about Everton this week is, they’re no Crystal Palace.

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King Hippo

PLEASE embarrass us. Get to double figures. Shame the Board into action the instant the season ends.

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Horatio Cornblower

It is now 3-0.

We’re not at the 20 minute mark.

Fat Sam is just sitting there.

On the plus side for Everton, it is raining, and he looks very wet. Perhaps he’ll develop pneumonia?

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King Hippo

If I could instantly make only one of Fat Sam or Herr Fuhrer ded…I’d really have to think hard about it. Especially if I got to do the deed with my bare hands, with immunity…pretty sure I’d pick Fat Sam.

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scotchnaut

OK State up 9 on Kansass.

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King Hippo

pull FOAR KS, if the Pokes win, I shall have no choice but Seppuku. That shit was like +700

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blaxabbath

Does anyone actually own those tiny glass bowls they use on cooking shows when they add ingredients? You know, how the salt and onion and stuff is already on the set perfectly shopped/measured.

Cuz I don’t.

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scotchnaut

I think it’s more for illustrating the ingredients involved in a given recipe. I’ve never seen that sort of setup in a working kitchen because fellas know without thinking how much of what goes where when.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Giggity.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a few ramekins that people have left at my place that I sometimes use for taco night toppings.

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King Hippo

it will surprise no one that I am a minimalist

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scotchnaut

“So how come you ain’t buying any of my discs, motherfucker!”

-Phillip Glass

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yeah right

I don’t have the tiny spice bowls but I have some small glass bowls that I put my minced onion, garlic, ginger, bell pepper or whatever the hell when I set up a mise en place for stir frying or quick saute.

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Wakezilla

So lemme get this straight: A superhero character named Black Panther, King of an African country, is going to get help from the CIA?

Oof, that’s disappointing

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey you, just wanted to let you know your post goes up in about an hour and a half.
Didn’t want ya to think it got canned or anything. Just shifted.

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blaxabbath

Deep State CIA.

The good CIA will flood his continent with crack.

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Unsurprised

There’s no way his character is helping.

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scotchnaut

I know NYC high school basketball isn’t what it once was but you’d think Mullin could do better than he’s doing simply by focusing his recruiting energies there. It would be a start towards respectability.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gentlepeople

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scotchnaut

“Celebrity Medical Procedure.” [tips hat]

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King Hippo

Cincy has already covered v. UConn (13-nil). I imagine the natives are even antsier?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Is Kevin Ollie crying yet?

In other news, OkieSt hanging tough so far in Lawrence.
“So far” being the key phrase there, probably.

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Horatio Cornblower

“Oh, is UCONN playing?”

Connecticut.

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King Hippo

Not a playmaker on the pitch for Everton. No Seamsus, no Sigurdsson, not even bloody Rooney FFS. Dire and anti-football even by Fat Sam’s standards.

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King Hippo

Had a BDSM State inkling, but betting against Rock Chalk is a fool’s errand.

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King Hippo

SIGH

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blaxabbath

Not sure which of you gamblors are lurking but I like UW straight up at home vs Arizona tonight.

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King Hippo

I looked at that longingly. Plus the Stormin’ Mormons +12 at Gonzaga…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Got no different opinion on GU this year than any other: playing exhibitions from Christmas til the tourney is a low-floor/high-ceiling wager.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I honestly haven’t watched Udub play yet this year so I have no gauge on that one.

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blaxabbath

The imported the Cuse zone quite effectively. UA still hasn’t figured it out.

Plus it’s a Trier homecoming – I think that bodes poorly for him.

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King Hippo

Thinking about a troika – 2 bills on UW (+250), Stormin Mormons (+600), Iowa State (@ BayBay, +335).

What could possibly go WRONG??

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wellllll….Iowa State for one thing.

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King Hippo

Good point, I put $350 on Kentucky, $250 on South Cakalaky instead. They plays at 2p, we see about the nighttime ACTION.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have no action today. Maybe tonight, we’ll see.

I’m still basking in the glow of the $400 clams ‘Zona won me the other night, and guarding the proceeds like a kid who has a lollipop for the first time. LOL.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And also still happy my tWBS betting jinx didn’t cost ’em the game and cause blax to hurt me.

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yeah right

Woo Cherries with the 2nd half equalizer and the lead!

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yeah right

And it’s final! 11th place here we come!

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King Hippo

Sending Stoke closer to relegation, that’s the LAWD’s work, sure ’nuff.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I have a dilemma. On the one hand, I’m bored as hell. On the other hand, I really don’t want to watch Notre Dame break their glorious losing streak in Raleigh.

Also, Hippo might kill me if I watch it.

/looks to see who else is playing in the noon slot

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litre_cola

One hand in slot. Heh.
You German TWBS?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You can’t prove that.
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King Hippo

That’s ok, the Lukaku/Barkey/Giroud/Sanchez-less 12:30 fixture will be a delight, I’m sure. Could be as many as five combined shots on target!!

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Senor Weaselo

You’re expecting a real barnburner then?

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King Hippo

It’s a “Pepperidge Farms Remembers!” kind of fixture.

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litre_cola

Let us not get ahead of ourselves now.

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herodotus450

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Horatio Cornblower

Nothing like Hippo and I watching Lukaku and Sanchez play for Man U if you want to have your TV screen shattered by hurled beer glasses.

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King Hippo

I sure does miss Big Rom. Hurts not to cheer for him.

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Don T

“Their stated goal is now to stay in the Champions League places in La Liga. Sounds almost Arsenalesque.”
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litre_cola

So proud of Balls’ Real hate.

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Don T

CAN YOU IMAGINE Real finishing 5th?

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Wakezilla

You know that halls commercial where their catch phrase is suck it up because 500 years ago, people went to war battling a cold?

Yeah, fuck them. First of all, the median age was 40 back then. Secondly, a common cold could kill you back then with regular frequency.

Anyway, I feel marginally above death today and I have to go to work. Fuck.

1
litre_cola

Well it is snowing and -20 here with wind it feels like -32 (-25 F) so at least you don’t have that in Vancouver.

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Wakezilla

True, but I’m moving to Cowtown in the Spring, so, soon

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litre_cola

Well Balzac Billy the ground squirrel predicted an early spring…..

/yes that is his name it is ridiculous.

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King Hippo

freedum isn’t free

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Horatio Cornblower

He’s probably right. Hollywood/TV accounting is insane. The Spinal Tap crew is suing whoever owns the movie and the owner is claiming that the movie has barely broken even over the years.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That and he was grouped (some say willingly) by the producer.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m flagging this comment for abuse.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just tuned in; it appears the pregame show has been on for about two hours.

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Unsurprised

When slyly lifting one butt cheek won’t do.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you trap a fart in Naugahyde; it’ll come back to haunt you…… jussayin.

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litre_cola

She does have a great ass.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Al Pacino

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scotchnaut

“I was in a 2 year lesbian relationship but I went to Weight Watchers and I got my confidence back.”

-Maria Bamford

7
montythisseemsstrangetome

I’m watching my 9-year-old’s basketball practice. That’s what you’re all watching too, right?

0
LemonJello

What’s the single mom situation at this practice?

2
montythisseemsstrangetome

It’s pretty much dads only at this point, if you’re into that kind of thing, I don’t judge.

1
Horatio Cornblower

From 1501′ away, yes.

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scotchnaut

Cool. My fetish is watching parents watching their kids practice.

1
litre_cola

Morning lads, teh Mighty Fulham plays Robin Hood today and Nottingham Forest. I could have also gone with a lesbian Subaru Forester joke as well.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I swear on my children that when I chose to root for Arsenal I had no idea that they were Piers Morgan’s favorite team and were owned by Stan Kroenke.

I haven’t seen such an ill-informed decision like that since Michael Hutchence last went belt-shopping.

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Unsurprised

Then August Ames checked Twitter.

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LemonJello

David Carradine is at the end of his rope with these jokes, and nothing you say is gonna sway him.

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Unsurprised

You aren’t wedded to them forever.

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Horatio Cornblower

True, but quitting on them when they’re clearly on the downswing seems wrong.

But the Piers Morgan angle is very persuasive.

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Unsurprised

Fuck that. You don’t need an excuse. Just pick another team.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen an English guy miss a chance like Raheem Sterling since, well, virtually any English heavyweight boxer going for a title.

3
LemonJello

“Hold my sherry.”
-Neville Chamberlain

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Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit, that was so much better.

0
nomonkeyfun

“We should just give up. I mean it can’t be that bad.”
-Arthur Percival

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ballsofsteelandfury

Eibar 5, Sevilla 1.

This is remarkable. Eibar is a team from a tiny town in the middle of the Basque mountains. You can see their stadium from the highway and it is wedged between the mountains and the one main street.

Yet, they are kicking ass…

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King Hippo

Also, ruh roh, somebody turned off the strobe lights in Man City.

1
scotchnaut

I think the key to Syracuse upsetting Virginny later today is to understand that they can’t.

1
King Hippo

But what a visual delight for the neutral viewer that shall be!

0
scotchnaut

Cuse has played some ugly basketball down through the years but I don’t think it’s ever been this bad. Nobody can score and the team is far too young. Shit, a walk-on that just got a scholarship this year is going to be a part of the regular rotation now that Washington is done for the year.

0
Horatio Cornblower

Please, feel free to come down to Storrs, CT. I’ll take you to an excellent brewery with decent food and after we can go to a men’s game at UCONN, (no, no, getting tickets will be no problem, I assure you), and you’ll feel better about Syracuse in no time!

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scotchnaut

Cuse/UCONN: The “Fallen on Hard Times Classic”!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

ProTip: Just don’t bet on those assholes.
(hat tip to Horatio for calling me out on that one…but just a little too late)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Pbssssst!”

-Hippo

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King Hippo

Also, at least until the hoopsball tourney, you shits really ought pick up a booky book. Justin Cronin’s “The Passage” is really good.

0
scotchnaut

Bad Book Alert:

David Liss’ A Spectacle of Corruption-I’m reading it only because I’m waiting for a new round of books to arrive. I’m also working on Greater Gotham, which is a history of NYC from 1898 to 1919. At 1000+ pages I think it’s safe to say that it’s fairly comprehensive.

0
King Hippo

Nice thing about The Passage is it’s 779 pages, and the first of a trilogy. Still burning through it pretty fast, though.

I have a weighty tome on the Balkan Wars and the breakup of Yugoslavia in reserve, that will slow me down plenty.

0
nomonkeyfun

I think I’m about a third of the way through Greater Gotham. Thank god for ebooks. I didn’t get past page 100 of Gotham for about 15 years because I would get tired of lugging it around.

0
LemonJello

I just received The White Donkey by Maximilian Uriarte – it’s a graphic novel from the creator of the Terminal Lance comic.

I’ve got to get through Gaiman’s American Gods first, though.

1
Horatio Cornblower

I just finished “Killers of the Flower Moon”, which is absolutely enraging, but which I can’t recommend enough.

1
scotchnaut

YES! That whole circumstance was beyond insane.

1
nomonkeyfun

What was that really light hearted book about the Eastern front that is regularly mentioned here.
I need to better about my life on V-day, I think that might do the trick.

0
King Hippo

Bloodlands!

0
yeah right

Currently reading Steinbeck “To a God Unknown” which I had somehow missed until now. I love Steinbeck.

1
King Hippo

I for one am just happy el Balls is keeping his phone charged better. What with the apocalypse nigh and whatnot.

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blaxabbath

What’s up? You clowns all watching soccer?

1
montythisseemsstrangetome

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montythisseemsstrangetome

Balls, T-Mobile would very much like for you to know where your family is. You may be less inclined, I don’t know.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Browns draft room?

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Unsurprised

Right on the river.

1
ArmedandHammered

I was thinking Belichicks’s den.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Could be. It is also a good depiction of my ability to rationalize.

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