Well well… WELL. This being a Sunday afternoon, Hate Week is no more.
Via reactiongifs.us
And yet, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl, again. No. 1 seed in the AFC against the Iggles, No. 1 seed in the NFC. Philadelphia is riding a weekend high, after the Hall of Fame selection of Brian Dawkins. And Terrell Owens; say what you will about T.O. (there’s plenty). The guy balled.
John Clayton, 2/6/05 via espn.com
That was back in Super Bowl XXwhatever. This time around, Philadelphia has a damn fine roster, notably better than New England’s—in most positions. The one really at stake, well…
Tron Brady: what has NOT being said about him? I heard talk about his career thoroughly eclipsing those of all-time NFL greats, to the point that Brady’s true peers are in other sports—like Gordie Howe, Michael Jordan, or Barry Bonds.
The coaching: what has not being said about Bill Belichick. His assistants have been living the life, getting the Pats to the Super Bowl while being the presumptive new head coaches of the Clots (Josh McDaniels) and Loins (Matt Patricia). Losing to this Eagles team will not hurt their bona fides.
On the Philly sideline, QB coach John DeFilippo has gotten interest from several teams. Super Bowl host Minnesota needs a new offensive coordinator, so DeFlip can’t ask for a better Pro Day. The way Foles stepped aside around the pocket against the Vikings D in the last game bodes well for the coach and QB.
The focus on the Eagles has been on making a game plan that Nick Foles would execute without difficulty, putting success in the hands of Agholor, Ajayi, Blount, Ertz, and Jeffrey. They good. Shit, even Torrey Smith can still force a defense to account for him. So Foles has options, but the question remains: what will he do when confronted with the chance to audible?
Via giphy.com
Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz, this guy,
via giphy.com
has also been updating his résumé. He’s got a dynamite roster too, including Chris Long—who won the Super Bowl last year with New England. With LeGarrette Blount providing the debriefing for the Pats offense, I’d say the Iggles got prettay, prettay good mojo going into the game. A shame it’s played in the Birdmurderdome.
via usatoday.com
So the NFC aviary has been owned in Super Bowls of late, with the Pats doing most of the damage. Big deal. I think the Eagles break the hex, 27-24, and the promise of a New Era will carry us through the goddamn offseason.
Then again, this is New England. Any HATAHs might wanna try something stronger than alcohol.
via luckymojo.com
Last day of the season! Let it out.
Was that Pace made in New York City?
I miss made of glass amendola
Seriously, what the fuck would you have to lose as a defensive player if you knew taking out brady could seal a superbowl win?
Sheeeit…I’d take him out for the fun of it.
Super Bowl, Schmuper Bowl.
Play Action? Fuck you Cris…that’s an RPO you dick!!!!!!!
I am pacing
White receiver privilege
I can’t breathe
[MST3K voice] BURK REXHEAD
“Turk Roxxon”
“…you have to finish off Tom Brady.”
-Cris
Yeah, if you don’t, he’ll leave you and your child for a Brazilian super model.
Whatever happened to that kid?
I heard he was deep in therapy for not getting enough mouth kisses.
From his stepmom.
Changed his name to Josh McDaniels.
We have a shot. Burkhead’s an ex-Bengals. Maybe he brought part of the Bo Jackson Curse with him.
Believe in Bo!
I think you mean the takeo spikes curse
No, I’m right.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1990_Los_Angeles_Raiders_season#Divisional
Birdmurderdome!
https://sports.theonion.com/swoop-snaps-neck-after-flying-into-u-s-bank-stadium-s-182270900
If my cat was reading this, he would be so fucking excited.
Eagles are going to need a turnover to win.
I completely agree.
-Andy Reid, not watching the game.
In case you’re wondering if we’d get a first-ever SCORIGAMI! Super Bowl, it happened four years ago.
Ravens Niners?
Seahawks-Broncos 43-8
It also happened in Super Bowl 26 (49ers-Broncos 55-10).
that Eagles Kicker needs a bigger helmet
https://media.tenor.co/images/dd0278eea24b2e4f040bfabcb880cab3/raw
One sack, one strip, one pick, one anything. Poke him in the fucking eyes. I don’t care.
if you didn’t know who the Asian in that headphone commercial is
I’m pretty happy to be ambivalent about this game. This will be a relatively healthy year at 1 bottle of wine, 2 shots of gin, some broccoli, four crackers, and some spinach dip.
Seems premature, we don’t even know if there’ll be an extra drinking period yet.
If there is I might call curmudgeon and go to bed before 8
WE KNOW how the extra periods end.
I remember when you bathed in deep dish pizzas. You’ve changed.
Four crackers? Sounds like dinner with my aunts and uncles.
Groupon ad FTMFW
FOOTBALL IN THE GROIN! YES!
Hope,they’re paying Simpson royalties
GET EXCITED
Score Update:
PHI 32 – 26 NE
14:09 4Q
This game has a 30.56% chance of ending in Scorigami.
Most likely Scorigami: 32-26 (13.66%)
Those chances are way off. There’s at least 14 points still coming.
Missed PAT already LOOMING LARGE.
/Already forgot who missed it, Eagles?
They’ve missed a PAT and a 2pt conversion
bowlth
Mike Mayock?
Iggy!
Ziggy
Wiggy
Piggy
Piggy
Zaggy!
Dilly Dilly
Yep, we’re all kinda drunk.
That was the test and you all passed.
Except Dick E. He’s going to the pit of misery.
“It looks like its against the Patriots.”
Cris even sounded disappointed when he said that.
6 point lead already cueing up the song Philadelphia
So, that extra point is looming large-ish.
Can’t wait for Elis Roadhouse
“When I was in pre-school, I used to take juice boxes from guys like you.”
LMFAO
maybe i’m drunk but LMFAO
GUYS! Kirk Cousins in a [*Redacted] s jersey in a commercial! With a piss-poor Trump impersonator!
Another lawyer-centric series. Because 16 of them is not enough.
16 lawyers is too many, let alone TV shows about lawyers.
That was dumb.
Hook this guy up with Minnnesota Millie
Honestly, this is objectively one of the greatest Super Bowls ever played. But since it’s the Patriots I feel nothing.
The Patriots ruin everything.
15 minutes to live. It’s been fun.
KICK HER ASS JACK
I have got the weirdest boner from that eli commercial
Giants spent all season working on the routine.
End of Quarter:
PHI 29 – 26 NE
15:00 4Q
This game has a 28.68% chance of ending in Scorigami.
Most likely Scorigami: 36-29 (5.54%)
Every time you do that the Patriots score another TD.
Stop doing that.
That also happens every time they have the ball.
Counterpoint: Keep doing that.
I really hope there were no stuntmen involved for that commercial.
-not JPP
Why would Eli get to lead?
THIS SUPER BOWL I CALL IT THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION BECAUSE THE OFFENSIVENESS IS UNOPPOSED
Lord knows I hate the fucking Patriots, but they always make for a nail-biting, close, entertaining Super Bowl.
/that can’t be enjoyed b/c they are a participant
They play it close and 5 out of 7 times they get it right.
/I don’t like those odds.
This is like watching a UCF scrimmage
Three QBs with ratings over 100 right now
After more research into the Jesus Christ Superstar thing, John Legend is playing Christ and Alice Cooper is playing Pilate.
I’m watching THE FUCK out of that.
Ditto. Last remake was…not great.
I’m excited for this tho.
That’s amazing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF2lwwxoQNU
Super Bowl BIG 12kakke
I think I will go Raiders next season. I have no plans to have sex since moving, so it’ll be a good alternative use of my bondage stuff
Come on, Foles. Fill my holes.
Brady is on the roids.
This is a roller coaster of emotion. I fell like a drunk french artist. Smoking, spilling wine and swearing incoherently
Sub “eating nachos” for “smoking” and I’m right there with you.