TGISF… Finally Getting My Bell Rung

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

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There’s not going to be a lot of the talky talky this week.  I’m all talked out for one week.  I realize that for most of you this is probably good news.  I further realize that I do sometimes tend to ramble.

Plus, I started drinking early today for a lot of reasons.  So it’s best I keep my big yap shut, lest something jump out I later regret.

Plus, plus, I’m short on time again this week.  So I don’t have time to craft my words as I might otherwise wish to.  Fuck off Shakespeare.  Some of us have day jobs you shithead.  Yes, I know I’m not one of those people, but I still have shit to do (I might be about to punch imaginary Shakespeare…he’s pissing me off).

But fair warning, I might be very talkative again next week.  Or I might not.  We’ll see what happens.

This week’s TGISF is going to be a “low hanging fruit” version.  Yes, that is also a Doug Martin joke.

Hat Tip to Rikki-Tikki-Deadly. This is still some funny shit and I’ll fight anyone who says differently.

And speaking of the lovely and talented Rikki-Tikki-Deadly…..

While I’m also once again skipping the Weekly Weirdness Rundown due to time constraints, I do have to recognize RTD.  Earlier today, his DFO Request Line theme could not have been better, considering what my intentions for TGISF were this evening.

DFO Request Line:  Belle of the Ball.

Not just a great theme in general, but it almost makes me think he’s psycho…errrrr, psychic.

Because our TGISF theme this week is a very special Princess of the Week version.  One I had been avoiding for some time for various reasons.  But the time has come, and this is her week to shine.

(even if she did marry a fucktard)

It’s Kristen Bell’s week, ppl.  And it’s been a long time coming.

Phrasing.

Kristen Bell

Born: 18 July, 1980 (37 yo), Huntington Woods, Michigan

Height: 5′ 1″ (Ooooof)

Now, in a fair and just world, Kristen Bell would have married me.  Not that idiot she ended up marrying.  I wanted to punch that guy even before he stole my girl.  I saw her first, dammit!!!

But that mistake aside, I still love her.

She doesn’t get along well with Geoff, however…

But we’ll forgive her for that, considering this….

But I digress….

She’s smart.  She’s funny.  She’s cute.  She’s sexy.  She’s petite but sturdy (and you all know how I like that).

And she’s just a little bit evil.  I can not only respect that….but also it kinda gets me hard.

Plus she makes good money and could support me in the lifestyle I deserve.  I’d happily be her house husband.

In short, she’s just all kinds of awesome.  She is, more or less, my ideal woman.

And now, I bring her to you.  Be nice to her.  Or I’ll kill ya.

Just so we’re clear….I would literally murder all of you just for one hour alone with her.

Enjoy…

OK, time to stop now before I blow a gasket.

Plus I have to go check Dax Shepard’s brake lines.  You know, safety first.

(Don’t get in the car, Kristen)

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Love ya’s

Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme?  Drop me a line…

twbs@doorfliesopen.com

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Just got back from Black Panther and really liked it, which I was worried I wouldn’t after all the complaints about some of the ideology of the movie being problematic. They did a really good job of writing the Killmonger story to make both him and T’Challa sympathetic, and it makes for a nice moral gray area.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

So black youths did not assault you when you tried to enter the theater?

RIGHT WING MEDIA LIES???

Romonobyl

Reminds me of something from way back when.
Many years ago I went to an actual theater (rare for me) to see Redtails. I’m a big fan of WW2 history and the legend of the Tuskegee airmen is one of my favorites. I really liked the original movie from 1995 and was looking forward to another version.
My God this movie was horrendous, if you saw it you know why. I went to work the next day and expressed my displeasure and was reflexively called a racist. The funny part? The guy calling me a racist was white, apparently an early version of the Social Justice Warrior and, no surprise, hadn’t even seen the movie. One of my closest friends (still to this day) was a black guy who also saw that nightmare of a movie and had my back. I still owe him a beer for saving me a trip to HR.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

Oh, I also spent the entire movie wondering why I couldn’t place the actress for Okoye, just to be embarrassed when someone told me it was Michonne without hair. She’s really good.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Also…da rest o’ you pervs:

h
ttps://zombotronic.deviantart.com/art/Roberta-Pedon-732494739

Lemme know what’cha think. But only if you like it.

Romonobyl

Terms of service?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

??

Romonobyl

Might be my VPN or adblocker. No pics for me!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That is uncool! I didn’t think DA got blocked too often.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Couldn’t you have gotten everyone’s birthdays from the commentist survey?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

That’s DA’s thing, not mine. I just mark the little box that says “Boobies!”

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I mean, I could just post it here, but then I’d get in trouble…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Bazookas!

Romonobyl

So which do you prefer?

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Boobs

herodotus450
herodotus450

Also, did the guy frik Supergrass go on to form FOB? And did they both star in Clockwork Orange?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, and in the interest of paying it forward, if anybody needs a ride from the Denver airport, let me know in the next 20 minutes.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I could use a ride, but my secret Denver Airport Illuminati Meeting doesn’t get out until 10

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Then you’re stuck using the tunnels.

Romonobyl

The Dame has The Book of Eli on the TeeVee machine, apparently for background as her face is also buried in her cell phone dealing with students. Glad I have you guys to pass the time.
I’m not paying attention to the movie, but it stars Mila Kunis so I can’t help but hear Meg from Family Guy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I honestly don’t think I knew it was Friday until I read this post.

Romonobyl

You obvs don’t have a government job.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Just think: this guy’s probably fucking Kristen Bell right now.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Screw bitcoin mining, we need to devote all our computational resources to deciphering this Pittsburgh Derek Brassard trade. Somehow Vegas is retaining salary on a player who was never on their roster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I have walked this home we call Earth for many years. I’ve experienced the best and worst that humankind has had to offer. I’ve learned much, but rarely do I share my knowledge with those that have not experienced the trials that I have been challenged with yet have still managed to conquest after unimaginable barriers and resistance. But for the Faithful I will make this exception…

It is very difficult to to incorporate the word “catheter” into polite conversation.

Your accolades are not necessary.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Catheter I barely know her…

Oh, you said POLITE conversation.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

“May I insert this catheter in your penis?”
“Yes you may, thank you so much. It is a fine catheter.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll come back and remove the catheter from your penis later.”
“Thanks, you are ever so kind.”

Romonobyl

I had no idea that you were the American vision of British.

Romonobyl

Backstory? One of my fave local microbreweries just started canning their good shit so I picked up a sixer on the way home from work. It was really good, but all gone. Apparently it had a rather potent ABV. Yeah, I’m pretty toasty.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://guyspeed.com/files/2015/02/Kristen-bell-white-bra-and-panties.gif

Is that a growing hardon under the covers in the foreground?

Beastmode Ate My Baby

OK, Moose, lemme know what ya think…

h
ttps://zombotronic.deviantart.com/art/Roberta-Pedon-732494739

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll be right back……

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Girl needs a sammich.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“And when I look down, even now, at the extra skin on my belly, it’s a reminder that I’ve done something spectacular. It’s a reminder that I’m a superhero. And I’m proud of it.”

-Kristen Bell

No you are not a superhero; you just did a biological imperative that almost every female can/has/will do. Quit with the self-aggrandizing bullshit.

That said; would still bang and/or be entertained by all damn day. Even with the rom-com nonsense (what fast-forward is for).

Come at me bro.

WCS

Ice Stillers just rolled the ex-Whalers, take over first in the Metro Division, and acquired Derick Brassard. Feel free to commence The Hate.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Commence?

WCS

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herodotus450
herodotus450

I can’t find the trade details but I think it’s a first, a fourth, Ian Cole and ryan reaves for Brassard at 25% of his salary?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I got to my shithole bar early, ahead of my German boys. No one is there but this old guy with a German soccer kit and a shaved head, watching really closely the startup of the German-Canada game.

I’m bored and I ask the guy if he is a Canuck.

“I am German. I wish to see this game” His English is not good at all.

I start talk to him and he has never watch a Hockey game before. I start telling him the rules to the sport and explain my boys are coming from work.

“They are German?”

I say in German “They are Bavarian women if that is okay with you”

He starts laughing.

I have not paid for a beer in the last 6 hours or so…I think…I am pretty drunk.

herodotus450
herodotus450

A band named after my favorite drink?

SonOfSpam

Evening all. Happy fucking Friday.

I’m gonna get crunk tonight; apologies to my wife, who’s not home yet and has no idea how much vomit she’ll be cleaning up later. Maybe even a poop. Oh wait, we have dogs. No cleaning necessary.

rockingdog
rockingdog

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Good thing scotchnaut is gone or else he’d have to face the mighty sting of my Ottawa Senators barbs. They are so incompetent they lost at making a trade today.

herodotus450
herodotus450

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Gentlemen

herodotus450
herodotus450

Gentleman.

blaxabbath

Can I mix hydrocodone and edibles?

herodotus450
herodotus450

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Wakezilla

Holy shit! Johnathan Martin came out as pro-school shooting. To the surprise of no one, he’s now in police custody.

Wakezilla

Wakezilla-ette loves her Sesame Street so I watch it with her. Anyway, today, a dog, who had a law degree and medical practice couldn’t find work and had to settle to work at a laundromat and a convenient store, which he got fired because dogs can’t sweep floors with brooms.

Anyway, an over educated grad who can’t find work in their field settling for a low paying job is quite the economic commentary, Sesame Street.

herodotus450
herodotus450

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scotchnaut

I’d love to hang with you bastards but I woke up at 5am and it’s time for this bunny rabbit to go for a snoozy.

/G’Night!

herodotus450
herodotus450

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Das Bell
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ballsofsteelandfury

Her appearances on Craig Ferguson’s show were legendary. I specially liked the travel episodes she was in.

rockingdog
rockingdog

hahahaha over 4hrs

scotchnaut

“DAS EIN BELEEF IN MIRACLES?”

-Hans Michael, German hockey announcer

herodotus450
herodotus450

-Inhabitants of camps all over Germany circa 1945

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The top comment on this Jonathan Martin story belongs in a Hall of Fame somewhere.

https://deadspin.com/jonathan-martin-taken-into-custody-after-threatening-in-1823275206

SonOfSpam

Spectacular.

Beerguyrob

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fine work here, except minus a million points for not including this:

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(don’t sweat the point total, each picture of Bell is worth 500k so you’re still in fine shape)