There’s not going to be a lot of the talky talky this week. I’m all talked out for one week. I realize that for most of you this is probably good news. I further realize that I do sometimes tend to ramble.
Plus, I started drinking early today for a lot of reasons. So it’s best I keep my big yap shut, lest something jump out I later regret.
Plus, plus, I’m short on time again this week. So I don’t have time to craft my words as I might otherwise wish to. Fuck off Shakespeare. Some of us have day jobs you shithead. Yes, I know I’m not one of those people, but I still have shit to do (I might be about to punch imaginary Shakespeare…he’s pissing me off).
But fair warning, I might be very talkative again next week. Or I might not. We’ll see what happens.
This week’s TGISF is going to be a “low hanging fruit” version. Yes, that is also a Doug Martin joke.
And speaking of the lovely and talented Rikki-Tikki-Deadly…..
While I’m also once again skipping the Weekly Weirdness Rundown due to time constraints, I do have to recognize RTD. Earlier today, his DFO Request Line theme could not have been better, considering what my intentions for TGISF were this evening.
Not just a great theme in general, but it almost makes me think he’s
Because our TGISF theme this week is a very special Princess of the Week version. One I had been avoiding for some time for various reasons. But the time has come, and this is her week to shine.
(even if she did marry a fucktard)
It’s Kristen Bell’s week, ppl. And it’s been a long time coming.
Born: 18 July, 1980 (37 yo), Huntington Woods, Michigan
Height: 5′ 1″ (Ooooof)
Now, in a fair and just world, Kristen Bell would have married me. Not that idiot she ended up marrying. I wanted to punch that guy even before he stole my girl. I saw her first, dammit!!!
But that mistake aside, I still love her.
She doesn’t get along well with Geoff, however…
But we’ll forgive her for that, considering this….
But I digress….
She’s smart. She’s funny. She’s cute. She’s sexy. She’s petite but sturdy (and you all know how I like that).
And she’s just a little bit evil. I can not only respect that….but also it kinda gets me hard.
Plus she makes good money and could support me in the lifestyle I deserve. I’d happily be her house husband.
In short, she’s just all kinds of awesome. She is, more or less, my ideal woman.
And now, I bring her to you. Be nice to her. Or I’ll kill ya.
Just so we’re clear….I would literally murder all of you just for one hour alone with her.
OK, time to stop now before I blow a gasket.
Plus I have to go check Dax Shepard’s brake lines. You know, safety first.
(Don’t get in the car, Kristen)
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Do you have a “request” or an idea for a future TGISF theme? Drop me a line…