Saturday Morning Lesser Footy and JV Hoopsball Morning Thread.

Morning commentists. It is one of Hippo’s substitutes here for the futbol and college basketball analysis. This in depth analysis is from someone who enjoys it purely for gambling purposes but then again that is probably true for most sporting events. I bet on a Brazilian basketball game the other day only because the game was playing live in a window on the screen. Last night I had money on Utah Valley, Montana and Carolina Central. Huge Fan!

Go Grizzlies. Taken from something called cheer heaven. I did not go down that rabbit hole.

By the time you read this Man U v Liverpool will have ended. Mo Salah scored once, Pogba was a dickhead somehow, lots of closeups of the managers, De Gea was tested a few times and Rashford scored a bad goal for United. Book it.

Hippo’s Toffees against the Seagulls, both teams wear blue, one team’s manager is not a bloated asshole. Go Seagulls.

The rest of the games in England in brief.

Huddersfield v Swansea, nope not watching that dreck.

Newcastle v Southampton, I think not.

West Ham v Burnley, both have the same coloUr scheme!

West Brom v Leicester, please futbol God, let Fulham replace West Brom next year, please.

Late game we have a London derby with Palace v Chelski, this game is at Stamford Bridge but since the stadium isn’t in Chelsea but in Fulham coach Woy and his Eagles could have some hope to eke out a draw.

By the time you read this hopefully tiny Eibar has beaten Real Madrid so their domestic season can continue to be a car crash. Barca gets a free trip to Malaga and you would have to think 3 points. The Barca v Athleti game last week was quite good and you have to think the Catalans are home and free and can turn their attention more to Europe.

Bayern Munich plays Hamburger, I fucking love hamburgers. The Bundesliga is over, Bayern has destroyed all of its foes handily this year. Howevah there is trouble afoot in Deutschland and Bayern is a root of it! There are threats to the 50 +1 rule which is the way the teams are all owned right now. For this story I had a choice here between a site from Ghana and one from Espn, I chose the African one as I figure they copied the WWSL but give em some clicks anyway.

For gambling purposes in college basketball this week has been fun. I feel that it’s kind of like the warmup for the Tourney next week, a chance to get that ass groove in your couch just right. Here is the link for the DFO pool (Password: Dickjoke, Pool name DFO Brackets)

Michigan winning the B1G last week was a welcome surprise and Bielen can flat out coach so I think they will be rested for le grande dance.. This weeks wee round of gambling is kind of like being in the shooting lineup before a game. Is this the year where Duke wins to level out for the Patriots losing? I would really like Harvard, Hampton and Vermont to make the tourney because that would be the most 2018 thing possible. President Cheeto loves it! Great teams, best teams, whit- I mean great schools.

I leave you with this. There was a man named Chopper Reid in Australia. Big time gangster, cut off his own ears in prison, pretty tough guy and this is Ronnie Johns as Chopper letting us know about the weather.

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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Good to see the viewer reviews of the Death Wish remake don’t get the message of the movie at all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it as racist as the original? That’s what matters.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What the fuck is the “message” of that movie anyway?

King Hippo

thanks for the small victory for the week of merde, Kenfucky

King Hippo

shoulda been a T on Cincy. Oh well.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

so help me God, if St. Joe’s doesn’t hold on…

/also if MEM blows the cover

King Hippo

hey, KY looks like they could blow it too now. 3 FOAR 3!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

NC Central haz white guy??????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I want this cat.

scotchnaut

“Harvard winning by a large margin? We expect nothing less.”

-Harvard’s financial, political, social, journalistic Deep State

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“social, journalistic Deep State”

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Fronkenshteen

Jesus hippo. I just saw the ML on Memphis is +1098. That sucks man.

King Hippo

perhaps I lucked out after all LMAO

Fronkenshteen

Yup. Boy did that game flip quickly.

scotchnaut

Fair Harvard tried for the alley-oop and it went straight into the bucket for a 3 pointer.

scotchnaut

Dolly Parton doing Colonel Sanders was really disappointing.

King Hippo

Also, there is no Catholic school gym teacher looking head coach, straight out of central casting, quite like St. Joe’s Phil Martelli.

/not in the “Uncle Touchy” kinda way

scotchnaut

“Go Alabama!”

/probably the first and last time someone from outside the state has ever uttered this

King Hippo

no goddamnit I gots $500 on Kenfucky!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, now you sound like me.
What happened to the “the system”?

King Hippo

small spread favourites are ok. Plus was a “free play” bonus so can’t be used on ML

theeWeeBabySeamus

I decided to cash out my $1,900 and stop ’til football again. Still waitin’ on mah moneycheck from Bovada, though.

FASTEST PAYOUTS MY WHITE WRINKLED ASS!!!!!!

King Hippo

/already annoyed there was no ML available on MEM/CIN

//still, my $700 on +16.5 looks pretty ok early

King Hippo

In the spirit of pending DFO Madness coverage…Coach Andy and Coach Andy’s Wife look like they will be returning to the Big Dance.

/memories of the Credit Union Sweet Sixteen run

Fronkenshteen

Went rooting around in the freezer and found a couple of thick cut sirloin fillets (London Broil, essentially), so I pulled them out to thaw. Can I get some advice/recipes for marinades and/or rubs (or both!)
I’m looking to both tenderize the meat and flavor it up real good. Can I both marinate and dry rub them, or is that madness?

herodotus450

they could save on signage by just calling them the Olimpic Games instead of Paralympic Games.

Fronkenshteen

BANNER!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

mmmm, reminds me of Lana Rhodes. Who hopefully hasn’t been scarred by Tiny Orange Wee-wee Pics.

scotchnaut

“Those can’t be real!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOLLYWOOD MAGIC!

herodotus450

Some big games between big market teams going on in hockey right now, and nbc is showing the paralympic games instead.

scotchnaut

“That’s Retarded!”

-folks that don’t know the difference between the Paralympics and the Special Olympics

King Hippo

Hey, that is our word!!

– angry bystander with Down’s

/possibly Sam Darnold

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

If anybody is keeping track of me on a home-made wall chart, please note that at 11:00AM Pacific today I’ll be getting my engine oil changed as well as having the various other lubricants, fluids, and pressures checked on the vehicle as part of routine maintenance. This replaces the previously scheduled activity for that time slot, which was getting a haircut and possibly getting my balls waxed. They will be rescheduled TBA, so watch for that announcement. Carry on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You didn’t answer my damned email. You’re dead to me.

Unless you really will let me crash….errrr fly an A380. Then you’re cool again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

STEWARDESS….MOAR VODKA!!!!!!!!
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Brick Meathook

I got your email! I didn’t know you needed an answer – I’ll answer today during my ball waxing session.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL, don’t need an answer. I’m just fucking around w/ you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

But if you answer during ball waxing…photos or it didn’t happen.

King Hippo

shaving one’s balls really ain’t pleasant, but I am too good friends with my hair stylist of 25 years to even consider that, and leery of a “balls only” service relationship. I mean, what exactly is the conversation protocol?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

One starts as part of mating hygiene (as my former female bff told me “no woman wants to see a rain forest down there”), then one gets used to feeling kind of free and easy.

Heck, I likes to shave my armpits whilst I’m at it. Feel less like a gorilla. Not like I have any chest hair like an actual grown man. SIGH.

I am jealous of mythical Zamunda, I would like Royal Bathers to shave all of my body hair (except legs and head) daily.

See, you fuckers only know the tip of my weirdness. In almost every way EXCEPT sexual (WASPs represent!), I am a complete fucking weirdo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve know several women who thought it was “really weird” for men to shave below the neck. Others want the shave or the trim.

King Hippo

Indeed, the first girlfriend I had after this advice was freaked out.

theeWeeBabySeamus

shaving one’s balls really ain’t pleasant

Let’s agree to disagree. And don’t make me start talking about plucking again.
😛

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Retrievers Win! Who’s a good boy? You are. Yes you are!”

[scratches team behind the ear]

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lotsa sad and ugly folks in Vermont today.

So like most other days.

I need to call Lisa, congratulate her team, and see if she’s divorced yet. Ooooof.

King Hippo

DAT is how u feel teh Bern imo goddessbless

theeWeeBabySeamus

My HS sweetheart. When I moved south to go to NCSU, she dumped me and married one of my good friends.

Not surprisingly, he’s not my good friend anymore.

King Hippo

I know of maybe one person who ends up in a healthy lifelong relationship with a high school flame. One changes waaaaayyyyy too much.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Big time.

But I’m still willing to get the “post divorce reunite bang” in. I won’t tell her how ugly her kids turned out to be until after.

King Hippo

who’s the significant upset I didn’t bet?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Here we go!
BANG!
/good on the ref for not T-ing up the UMBC bench

King Hippo

would have made it more fun for us, in bound from half court for the win?

Doktor Zymm

Anyone got any favorite stuff to do/places to eat in Nashville?

Beerguyrob

Tennessee Brewing Company is solid.

And Puckett’s Grocery is a good burger but avoid their onion rings. At night they have up & coming artists play while you eat.

King Hippo

almost everything riverfront is cool. I forget exactly where I want, been awhile. It’s not as hee-haw as I feared, very cool town.

scotchnaut

“Not sure about Nashville but the best place to eat over yonder in Memphis is at ‘The Priscilla’. It opened very recently.”

-Elvis, 1967

King Hippo

BANNER, thank you very much!

scotchnaut

UMBC (University of Mayberry Before Christ) keepin’ it close.

Fronkenshteen

Izzat who we like here?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Best Tupperware party in EVAR!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

He’s gonna veto any federal funding for the NY/NJ tunnel project, but they found money for THIS?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/articles.nj.com/monmouth/index.ssf/2018/03/jersey_shore_town_seeks_ferry_to_dock_next_to_kush.amp

Next level rage.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Noting to see here; keep moving to the next tweet.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/cfr/text/5/2635.702

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Let’s go Palace, St. Joe’s, Memphis (can just stay within 16 is cool), Kenfucky, and especially fookin’ Providence!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

yep, this is clearly in Hippo’s near future

Fronkenshteen

West Ham fans have seen enough, I guess.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Cheech and Chong star in ‘Flying High.'”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well done.

scotchnaut

Did you know that up Canada way the Carleton Ravens are headed towards their 8th straight champeenship and 13th since 2002?

I’m beginning to glean the irrational pride that you folks down under Canada attach to the successes of the sporty teams of the educational institutes that you happened to attend.

scotchnaut

It’s the polite thing to do.

I think there’s an acknowledgment that nurses are underpaid for the added responsibilites that have been shifted to them and that the docs of Quebec would rather see any extra money headed to “support staff”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Agreed strongly’ nurses have been underpaid for…..OK, since nurses where invented.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Let me take this time to check my alma mater (D-III) and… Yeshiva won the conference tourney? Well I guess it can’t get any grittier than that.

King Hippo

tell me y’all is the Black Hatters?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

I just heard one of the whitest things ever said by an announcer about what a white player has done and it goes something like this-“THREE POINTER BY ERNIE DUNCAN!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Armadillo Man was a short-lived super hero. Writers simply could not get past the fact that his greatest strength was curling up into a ball when faced with any confrontation whatsoever.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That chick playing point guard for UMBC seems kinda spastic.

scotchnaut

Stupid “Intramural Championships”!

theeWeeBabySeamus

True story time…

My Vet School intramural team made it to the Champeenship game of our league at NCSU. Then promptly lost in the Champeenship game to a team made up of football players and former basketballers. We hung with ’em for most of the game and ended up losing by only 8.

I’m fairly proud of that.

scotchnaut

Holy Shitballs! My intramural co-ed team made it to the finals of a tournament and lost to the starting rb and qb of the football team and the starting point guard of the women’s basketball team. The weird rule was that the guys weren’t allowed in the key and you could only play two males on the court at any time.

The dickbag football players built a huge lead and then started dunking so we’d get free throws on the technical fouls and the ball back. I could hit the free throws and we ended up losing by about 4 or so.

/cool basketball story bro

theeWeeBabySeamus

We had uniforms and everything.

Well, we had jerseys with non-matching shorts. Our jerseys were sponsored/paid for by the Iams pet food company. No shit.

The running joke was whenever the opposition would ask what Iams meant (it was still a fairly young company at the time and wasn’t well-known) we’d tell them it meant “Iams gonna school you”.

And we did mostly. Right up until we hit the Champeenship game, anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“OK boys; LET HER GO!”

scotchnaut

Also watching The Day The Earth Stood Still with Jennifer Connelly. When does she ride the pony at the mall?

King Hippo

/reminds self to YouTube that later

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….now THAT’S funny as fuck.

scotchnaut

Shall we watch U of Maryland, Baltimore County vs. Vermont playing in a multi-purpose gym? Yes we will.

/Peasants! Why haven’t you soaked your alumni for a stand-alone facility?

King Hippo

They should ask Bernie. He can do anything.

scotchnaut

The pace is as frenetic as the majority of white players can make it.

/#notthatfrenetic

theeWeeBabySeamus

My first real love is a UMBC alum.
Go Retrievers.

scotchnaut

My first real love was a tie between Chef Boyardee ravioli and Darryl Sittler.

King Hippo

oooooh, my turn!! OPIUM!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Wakezilla

Confession: Whenever I decide to veer from my beloved Whitecaps Manager mode in FIFA, I like to pick a team like Newcastle because they have a lengthy championship drought, their fans are batshit insane, their team isn’t that great, but manageable to play as and their bank account isn’t bad, so it’s not entirely difficult to turn them into a EPL and Champions league contender.

Why yes, I did see Goal, why do you ask?

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King Hippo

WCS is a Barcodes supporter, methinks. You two should compare teeth someday.

King Hippo

oh wen teh Saints! Go marching DOWN!!

Fronkenshteen

Just saw the highlight of the Mahrez > Vardy goal. Holy shit!

ballsofsteelandfury

QoTD: has Blax jacked it in San Diego yet?

-150 YES
+140 NO

King Hippo

fuuuuucccckkkk, I hate when I can’t bet the ML….

scotchnaut

Shot It’s the money shot.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, if it’s strong enough to become a money line, more power to him.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like money ROPE amirite?

Wakezilla

At least Eibar made it a game for about 20 minutes

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ballsofsteelandfury

At least Eibar scored one…

herodotus450

Shouldn’t it be Livrepool though?

herodotus450

Maybe -poul as well. Livrepoul.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I never got the impression that Scouses were much into books, though.

blaxabbath

I am in the gaslamp quarter

blaxabbath

Starbucks!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I spent five years living in that town and I can’t think of a single place to tell you to go other than to “the beach”.

I sure did love living there, though.

yeah right

When you wake up later be sure to go to Lolitas. It’s behind the right field wall at Petco. Get a carne asada burrito, not a California burrito a carne asada burrito and get some rolled tacos. They also have beer so you can have a Stone IPA.
Report back!

herodotus450

What is a yellow card?
/I know what it is, that was supposed to be a “what is a catch” reference

scotchnaut

Sassy goal by Rashford.