Your “Golf Leafs Golf” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Stealing from Crimebeat!
    • 49ers linebacker Reuben Foster has been officially charged with one felony for domestic violence with aggravated bodily harm, another felony for forcefully attempting to prevent the victim from reporting the crime, and a third felony for possessing an assault weapon.
      • Foster is also charged with a misdemeanor for possessing a large capacity magazine.
    • If convicted of everything, he’s looking at up to 11 years in prison.
      • Naturally, the 49ers will likely move on from him.
        • It’s a shame the stink of this will stay on the Niners & not where it belongs – Alabama, where he first ran into these sort of difficulties.
  • The Seahawks have helped Colin Kaepernick with his collusion case by scrapping a visit he was to make to the team.
    • They were going to bring him in for workouts as a backup to the Charmslinger, but he wouldn’t give them an answer about his kneeling so they just cancelled the workout.
      • If you want to meet the assholes of society, drop down into PFT’s comments.
    • Or, there’s another take on the whole thing – it’s a “postponement”.

  • The Browns have signed Jarvis Landry for five years at $75.5 million, with $47 million guaranteed.
    • That’s a lot of money for outrunning Tyrod Taylor’s underthrown passes.
    • FYI – the Browns have $70 million in 2018 cap space, so $15 million for Landry is a lot, but really nothing in the grand scheme of Year-22 of rebuilding.
  • A former Dolphins cheerleader is suing the Fins for gender & religious discrimination.
    • She alleges she was treated like a piece of meat, and that she was derided for “not being a woman”.
    • “The officials asked her to stop discussing her virginity, according to the complaint.” and specifically that she could no longer discuss her personal vow to forego sex before marriage
      • Which grew out of her posting a picture of her 2016 baptism on social media.
Pictured: not her baptism.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
    • Devils at Lightning – 7:00PM | NHLN / Sportsnet
    • Blue Jackets at Capitals – 7:30PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • Avalanche at Predators – 9:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Sharks at Ducks – 10:30PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • NBA:
    • nothing – playoffs start Saturday
  • Beisbol:
    • Alabama at Texas A&M – 9:00PM | ESPNU

I think, in honour of the Leafs-Bruins series, I’ll drink the Sam Adams I brought back from my last trip to the US. NO REGRETS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur
SonOfSpam

Angels about to go to 11-3; Trout homered, Ohtani hit a bases-loaded triple. Cautiously optimistic for the season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Two words.

Mike. Scioscia.

SonOfSpam

The man could block a plate,

WCS

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Spur

this is game 15 of 280 right?

SonOfSpam

Well, 11 and 3 make 14, but then Texas schoolbooks might teach math differently.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Texas schoolbooks you say?
I’M IN!!!!!!!
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King Hippo

fuck, this is magnificent GAMBLOR day. Got scrilla in on Carrie Underwood sabretooths right before they went on power play and odds recalculated.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plz tell her I say “Heyyyyyyy Gurrrllllll!!!”
She’ll know what it means.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I just noticed I have 2 separate beers opened, but only partially consumed.

That’s weird, huh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

does she give road head as slowly as she sings?

Spur
Spur

i have NBCSN on. I dont see the Vegas team on. Should be rooting for Team Carrie Underwear or the Potheads?

rockingdog

potheads

King Hippo

also really fucking amazing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-N6jfO5NOQ

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Devils waiting for the Last Judgement
Livre de la Vigne nostre Seigneur, France ca. 1450-1470
(Bodleian Library, MS. Douce 134, fol. 67v )

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King Hippo

this would be a nice piece for the office!

SonOfSpam

That’s how Trump sees Team Mueller.

rockingdog

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Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck Roenicke.
But he’s right. Kuz needs a good ass kicking. He fucked this up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Why being an adult sucks: My friends and I are doing an online playoffs pool in about 2 hours.

You would you take if you had the second pick? I’m leaning towards Kucherov or Scheifle

SonOfSpam

Assuming Gretzky goes one, I’d take LaFleur #2. Or Mike Bossy.

/haven’t kept up with the latest hoc-key?

rockingdog

found a funny:

This place gives me the creeps

Sir, this is IHOP

Whoops sorry, this place gives me the crêpes

Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

Columbus in 6.
Told ya.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, not like it’s a shock. Right?

King Hippo

score one FOAR the B1G!

Spur

my new portable swamp cooler arrived. My nips are diamond hard! I recommend this unit to anyone.

King Hippo
Spur

Yo

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeaux

rockingdog

what up

Brick Meathook

This is down the street from me:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I just found out that pissing off my back deck tends to break up the party my shitty neighbor decided to have tonight.

Meh, fuck her. She’s lucky I wasn’t pissing off her deck. Or shooting her aggressive dog in the head.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fucking overtime. Dammit.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re clearly not referring to the Toronto game…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Another flight where I had a lot of work to do and did virtually none of it. I legit don’t understand how I’m not fired.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Because you put out?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The juggling acts I pull off to keep all the bodies from floating to the surface should get me a starring role at Cirque d’Soleil, or however the hell you spell it.

And yes, I am talking about work.

King Hippo

FUCK!!! SO close to winning me $300! Stupid Buckeyes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

THANKS OBUMMER!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT.

Kuznetsov needs a good old fashioned ass kicking. Fucking idiot.

litre_cola

I find him quite a likeable gent. His Players tribune arcticle reminded me when I was a serf boy in White Russia. Seriously he was rural.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t dislike him.

But slashing/tripping with a one goal lead with 6 minutes to play….he needs to buy a clue.

litre_cola

6 000 000 000 rubles! Great deal for you!

King Hippo

UTIL Cliff Pennington now pitching for the Red Legs. He throws 88!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKING CAPITALS ASSHOLES WHY DO I KEEP ROOTING FOR YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS YOU STUPID FUCKS???????

Mr. Ayo

They’re still ahead!

For now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, but they’re doing stupid shit. This will be the 2nd one goal lead they’ve fucked up when Columbus scores on the PP. And they will.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Then again…it is Columbus.

Mr. Ayo

Ok, that was stupid

King Hippo

/$10 MOAR

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!!!!!
Mr. “Oh my team won 7-0”.

Grumble grumble.

😛

WCS

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King Hippo

It were true ICE FITBAW!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO. Good point.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I want one of new memory nail mattresses.

WCS

See commercials for them all the time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s done drunk anal and gave a hobo a handy on spring break.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Icing?????? WTF?????? It barely went across one line, let alone 3.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A lot of drinks taste better that way.

Mr. Ayo

With 3 lines? Or barely one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Depends on how drunk she is.

nomonkeyfun

I’m sure he “borrowed” the idea from somewhere else, but I totally believe Simmons’ “Bettman is a mole sent in by David Stern to ruin the NHL” theory.
It is the only logical explanation for someone not affiliated with the Browns being so consistently incompetent.

King Hippo

#ThePauls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

NO ONE DENIES THIS

Mr. Ayo

When’s the WNBA Draft live blog go up?

WCS

Barry Trotz and John Tortarella in the same playoff series; you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

WCS

Possibly.

nomonkeyfun

When Goodell flexes in the mirror in the morning?

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK so who’s in charge of getting this guy’s teeth off the ice.

Ouchie.

Mr. Ayo

Loved the blood trail off the ice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Caps, let’s try not to muck this up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

WHAT DID I JUST SAY??????????

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sonofabitch.

King Hippo

just put $10 on Ice tOSU to win (+900). I am GAMBLORing super excellent tonite just sayin…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good timing. Caps just decided to Cap.

King Hippo

did $10 on them and Devils. Shoulda just did 20 on tOSU. Big dummy. But Sudamerican cup Lesser Footy and #BFIB are paying off in spades FOAR Hippo.

blaxabbath

One other submission before I bolt for the night…

I have been prepping for my PE exam tomorrow (which I will not pass) and working mucho lately. Plus I’m kinda gloomy. No matter though. Just wanted to give my props to everyone who’s keeping this place #contentingwithlime lately. Perhaps I will write something again soon and then that’ll be good for eight site comments. Okay — that’s all I got. Time to do a couple of ‘sharpening’ problems and load of my big suitcase of booky books for tomorrow.

Also — again, because I haven’t been much around lately — has this been used to make fun of Trump supporters now (probably)?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Good luck on the exam!

King Hippo

no pressure just DON’T LET ALL OF US DOWN!!

Don T

Good luck man.

blaxabbath

Anyone seen the episode of American Dad where Stan hears My Morning Jacket and suddenly gets all into music?

I think that may be me with electro synth-pop.

King Hippo

Red Legs have walked 4 #BFIB in a row.

PRAY FOAR Redshirt.

King Hippo

ahem, FIVE

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shitballz. Really? When did they sign Ubaldo?

litre_cola

Hello commentists, I hope you are all well. I have nothing to bitch about.

Here it is, I know a lot of the commentist party suffer from depression like me but I just had a great day that started out like a c@#t.
Up at 3 am. Decilitre losing his mind. Growing, teething fucking brutal. I ahd today off as Mrs. Cola goes back to work Monday so we could spend the day together with him at daycare. I was fucking grumpy this morning, like oxipug even knew it. Dropped kid off, went for good breakfast, came home, did stuff, then went for a long lunch at a French restaurant, drank wine, had a good time, went to the bar I work at, had a couple drinks. Then walked to pick him up.
Ice Bombers won yesterday, today started brutally, but rest was great. Just had a medicinal session.
Some days ARE good. Have to look forward to theose ones that may start with a kick in the balls.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Love it. You da man.

King Hippo

Nothing one can do about it. Lean into the wave so it doesn’t crush ya. Sounds like you have a supportive bae, helps a fuckton. Plus the drugs/booze, eh?

nomonkeyfun

If you shared some of your medicine, decilitre wouldn’t have kicked you in the balls.

Wakezilla

It’s because it’s fucking snowing in fucking April. Fuck.

Glad you had mostly a good day.

Teething can die in a fire. ToddlerZilla is in teething hell ATM.

litre_cola

Even with the snow today, didnt matter. I was fucking volatile at 5 am but it all turned around. Honestly was when oxipug made me laugh. I smoke cigs at work but not at home and I was nic-fitting too.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Isn’t ass to mouth a little drastic of an approach to teething?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I have to admit, I laugh at the Geico “McGruff the Crime Dog” commercial every time.

Awww…you gotta go Tinky Poo Poo????

THAT’S COMEDY, PPL!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ayo

Did gruffy wuffy get a tipsy wipsy?

THAT’S GOLD!

scotchnaut

Unregardless of what I think of the teams involved, the pace of the Bruins/Leafs game is intense.

King Hippo

I approve of how they hate one another. Hate is wonderful.

Unsurprised

It must be Hell on Rappaport’s back to constantly carry all that water for the NFL.

Unsurprised

I feel like dancing!

h

ttps://gfycat.com/NervousEllipticalIndianpangolin

ttps://gfycat.com/InsidiousAnnualArmadillo

ttps://gfycat.com/ComplicatedTintedBighornedsheep

Gratliff

Rewatching the running man for the first time in 20+ years, and I’m legitimately shocked at how well they predicted technology and how much they overstated the state of the nation in 2017. May be a psychotic police state, but at least they aren’t giving Nazis a platform.

LemonJello

Agreed.
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Unsurprised

It’s Reagan taken to its logical conclusion. I’m sure the Ed Meese-like suppression of media and creation of a contraband black market for media would be indistinguishable from the Nazis suppressing degenerate art and media.

scotchnaut

“Running Man” is probably Jim Fixx’s most prescient novel.

ballsofsteelandfury

I do wish we had a real Running Man show. It would be SO MUCH better than all that reality crap.

I also want to see people given the death penalty to be put up against lions or tigers or bears in an open arena. A Colosseum, perhaps?

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Nero, settle down over there.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m actually serious. Then again, I enjoy bullfights. I am Mexican after all…

King Hippo

they should do that on the “Living Biblically” show they advertised during the hoopsball, then I’d watch

scotchnaut

“Believe me, being treated like a piece of meat ain’t no picnic.”

-Joseph Bradehoft

/this joke rocks if you google the name

King Hippo

get Mayers up. Have bad feeling.

LemonJello

“Put me in, coach!”
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King Hippo

as a tired old man who has given up on life/society, I LOVE road trips to Cincy, where they preferred start time be 6:40 EST.

King Hippo

Canadian Massholes still beat American Massholes, in my book.

ballsofsteelandfury

Is that a veiled reference to Les Québécois?

King Hippo

I wish. I bought a Nordiques fridge magnet when I went to Quebec City.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

There’s a woman next to me at the airport that i thought had food crumbs on her face but turns out it’s a piercing. Who pierced their cheek?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And yes, I would like my lawn to be unperturbed by your footsteps

LemonJello

As an encore, would you angrily vocalize at airborne water vapor?
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ballsofsteelandfury

Women into fisting?

Brick Meathook

Any adult who has discussed their own virginity, at work, more than once, should rightfully be told to shut up already.

King Hippo

if I can’t talk about fucking, you can’t talk about not fucking. Seems pretty simple.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not even anal?

herodotus450

-The end of so many dates

Unsurprised

Please throw this person out of a plane at 35,000 feet AGL.