Your “I Think Baseball Is A Gateway Drug” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL Notes:

  • OOOHHH – BEEF!
    • Pete Carroll had things to say about Richard Sherman & Michael Bennett having things to say on their way out of the Emerald City.
      • The money quote from the interview is Carroll claiming “sometimes guys can’t hang with what’s expected.”
      • Oh, and about any malcontents?
        • “And the best thing I can tell you is, that they’re not here.”
  • SHOCKING! Gronk says he’ll be back for the Patriots in 2018.
    • HOWEVER!, in a conspiracy theory devised via a media 69 you don’t ever want to picture, Florio is reporting that Peter King has it on good authority (the purser in the Acela Quiet Car) that if Gronk wasn’t committed to this season, the Patriots were going to trade his rights to someone else.
      • So Gronk had to make his call if he wanted Gisele to keep feeding him models.
  • DELIGHTFUL! Saquon Barkley & his girlfriend had a baby girl yesterday.
    • If the Bengals picked first, I would say it might affect his draft stock, because “character issues” and “Mike Brown is a stupid, stupid man”.
    • On the “character issues” topic, Deadspin is saying that ESPN is claiming Baker Mayfield is one, and coincidentally Mayfield is refusing to do live shots during the Draft.

   

How DARE he have a mind of his own. He’ll never survive in the NFL if he doesn’t realize his time is a precious commodity that must be sold to the highest bidder. Did the NCAA teach him nothing? What was he there for – a degree?!


I have a shameful secret to share.

I’m addicted to cricket.

More directly, I can’t start my morning without watching the opening overs of the Indian T-20 tournament going on right now.

The games are live; they start at 8:00PM India time, which is 7:30AM in Vancouver, so it’s a perfect 45 minute watch before I get in the car & head to school. Plus, they are being called by the most Australian & New Zealander of people, guys who make the AFL broadcasters sound like Jim Ross.

There’s eight teams, a salary cap, and from what I gather they can each have eight imported players (with maximum four active in any game), who are usually pretty easy to spot because they are either the white guy (English), the whiter guy (Australian), the whiterer guy (New Zealand), the whiterest guy (South African), or the black guy (West Indies).

I can’t explain why I find it so intriguing. Maybe it’s because of how foreign it is, and yet a modern take on a colonial export. Every weekend, there’s a group of West Indians that gather at the field near my house & play a T-20 style match. They’re there for four hours, and never seem to get bored watching each other.

The IPL does have cheerleaders, who I don’t think count against their import restrictions.

  

  

It also seems like they threw away the boring parts of baseball & traditional cricket & just made the game go faster. Or it could be that it’s a welcome break from the repeats of last night’s highlight shows.

Finally, Vancouver has a large Indian & Sikh population, and there are a few kids who also watch it, so we can have some common talking points, which is a BIG bonus when working with 16-18 year-olds you otherwise want to beat to death for their overwhelming ignorance.

For you GAMBLOR devotees, there are odds sites and there is daily betting. Plus, two teams were suspended for two seasons after the 2015 season for a match-fixing & betting scandal, and one of the captains of those teams – Steve Smith of Australia – was also recently implicated in a ball-tampering incident during an international test between Australia & South Africa and banned from national & international play for one year.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Bruins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / CBC – GAME 7 BAY-BAY!

  • NBA:
    • Pacers at Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TNT (Game 5; series tied 2-2)
    • Wizards at Raptors – 7:00PM | NBA TV / TSN (Game 5; series tied 2-2)
    • Timberwolves at Rockets – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN (Game 5; Rockets lead 3-1)
    • Jazz at OKC – 9:30PM | NBA TV / (Game 5; Jazz lead 3-1)
  • MLB:
    • Cubs at Indians – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
    • Red Sox at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Futbol:
    • 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
      • Final – Leg #2: Chivas vs. Toronto FC – 9:30PM | TSN2 / Univision Deportes
        • Chivas leads 2-1 on away goals

Horatio’s got you tomorrow for the Draft. FIVE BUCKS SAYS THE BROWNS PICK A DEAD GUY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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UnsurprisedALXMACBrettFavresColonoscopyWakezillaBrocky Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

There’s no point in pretending I wish for anything less than death for the NFL and everyone working for the corporation, team owners (billionaires first, but all the majority celebrity shareholders and even those Cheesehead shit for brains idiots and their “shares”), and even the NFLPA leadership for being spineless.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/04/25/sports/nfl-owners-kaepernick.html

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Looking forward to complaining that not enough teams targeted linemen tomorrow. Night, all.

Wakezilla

Republican Debbie Lesko wins special U.S. House election in Arizona.

CNN headline: Why the win for Republicans in Arizona 8 is still good for Democrats.

Good old moral victories that don’t mean a thing.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Not all of these special elections are going to go blue because some districts are just totally out of reach.

There are still opportunities for the Democrats to fuck up in November and I’m sure they will.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Brocky

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Brocky

So seamus…….. some folks on the internetz are saying our girl alexa got some work done, do you agree with this idea?

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Brocky

….just fyi, Alexa is not the chihuahua

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I know this was to tWBS, but Alexa who? and which part(s)?

Brocky

Alexa Bliss. WWE Wrestler,

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me and seamus have a running joke where we vie for her attention.

anyways, as you can see with these pictures, she’s pretty short and she’s thicc. and a bunch of her social media lately has almost exclusively been of her cleavage and such, and she hasn’t had any matches since wrestlemania 2 sundays ago. Some fans are convinced she’s had a breast augmentation.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Ok cool. So the question was rhetorical.

Wakezilla

Even if she did, who the fuck cares? She’s fine as hell

Brocky

I sure don’t. I just wanted an excuse to post this

Wakezilla

Touché

Wakezilla

Is she still with Murphy?

I remember hearing they were together and thinking it must have been his idea to get her as his manager. Buddy is out kicking his coverage with her

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I saw the Game Night movie. It was fun.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I want to see it, but I rarely go see comedy movies at the theater anymore. It’s just not that much different than watching it later at home.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HRTN Special tomorrow morning. It’s the olde format. It might be funny. You’re gonna have to read it to find out.

Brocky

note to self….read up old speacials.

htfyd my man?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[waits with bated breath] – Aaron Hernandez

Senor Weaselo

Beastie, don’t keep him hanging!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

He has to hold on until 10am Chi-Town time. Which is… I dunno, probably some other time in REAL time zones.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Super Troopers 2 is really funny.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, it is.

Brocky

I’ve head its every bit as funny as the first one, has no business being that well made for a sequel

Brocky

is redshirt around? him and gratliff need to check this out.

For those of you out of the loop, “botchamania” is yet another youtube wrestling series, chronicling the gaffs and goofs of pro wrestling.

the compilation from the series’s first 100 or so episodes is honestly one of the funniest compilations you ever see:

Wakezilla

They’re pretty good. Though, when they started doing weekly stuff, it dropped a little.

That clip was awesome

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hi, everybody!

Brocky

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WCS

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Brocky

lol why did this response get 4 likes to my 1? I posted 3 minutes before you did great minds eh?

is it just me or am i replying to almost everything you’re saying tongiht? starting to feel stalkerific over here

ballsofsteelandfury

Penalties suck.

Given that, great game.

Wakezilla

So, did anyone watch the premier of Archer tonight and like to express their views? Was it a good experiment in that your wife wanted to watch you nail her best friend’s barely legal, but incredibly attractive younger sister, or was it a pegging?

Brocky

it was half way inbetween. as in your wife wanted to watch you nail her best friend, who middle aged and passable.

ballsofsteelandfury

This is the best description I can think of.

Brocky

In FFVIII, I renamed the doom Train summon as “CRZY TRAIN” because that’s all that would fit.

WCS

In Final Fantasy Tactics, I once named them Larry, Darryl, and Other Darryl (didn’t have enough space for “Brother”).

Only the old farts here will understand this.

Brocky

My mother use to quote this joke a lot.

Like a Lot

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Isn’t “Mumbai Indians” offensive?
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Brocky

unlike the team from major league, they actually use this term correctly

Senor Weaselo

I guess in the same way the New York Knicks are? Which is to say very offensive.
/Because the Knicks are terrible, get it?

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I would think redundant.

Brocky

like the montreal canadiens isn’t?

i’m sorry, Ice alouettes

Wakezilla

I know it won’t happen, but I still think the Browns should go defense with both pics. Imagine having 2 first overall picks and a 4th overall pick over the past two years on defense? They could win every game 2-0 in two years.

I’d also be on board with taking Barkley and a defensive player.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No they wouldn’t because their offense would give up lots of pick- and strip-sixes.

WCS

Final Fantasy always had the most inane names. I always renamed them things like “Richard Fitswell,” “Slab Bulkhead,” “Marty McFly,” and “Bill.”

Brocky

on a playthrough of FFVII I renamed every character a variation of dude:

Cloud – Cool Dude
Barrett – Gun Dude
Tifa – Girl Dude
Aeris – Heal Dude
Red XIII – Dog Dude
Yuffie – Teen Dude
Cait Sith – Cat Dude
Vincent – Dead Dude
Cid – Fly Dude

and don’t even get me started on renaming pokemon:

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Senor Weaselo

Aeris isn’t Dead Chick?
/It’s been how many goddamn years? It’s not spoilers anymore.

Brocky

I didn’t get that far into my first playthrough, i obviously restarted it and kept them as I saw fit.

also, no one is a chick on my team.

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Senor Weaselo

Fair enough. Continue.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

Also this.
/Ha, VG Cats updating
http://www.vgcats.com/super/images/080711.gif

Spur
Spur

Browns take Allen, NYG take Rosen, Jets take Mayfield.
Jets are dumb as fuck.

Fronkenshteen

What is that in the banner image?

Spur
Spur

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King Hippo

sexiest gif EVAR

WCS

I will never understand the alleged appeal of anime.

Sharkbait

No clue either.

King Hippo

amen, fellow old person

Brocky

anime is too broad of a term. it covers waaaay too much to expect a perosn to like it.

I’ve alwasy liked action anime the same way i’ve liked action media. different genres for different folks

Me and my dad hardly ever watch the same tv anymore, so of course I’m not going to expect to him to watch dbz with me.

there’s a shit ton of anime i won’t touch with a 10 foot pole. there’s light heated romance ones I couldn’t give too shits about.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

anime boobs are interesting.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Racer X is Speed’s brother Rex. Also, there’s a kid and a monkey in the trunk.

WCS

That sounds more like a 1980s movie starring Burt Reynolds and Joe Don Baker.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have you seen Ninja Scroll (subtitled, not not dubbed)? That might change your opinion.

Brocky

So I’m an idiot. five minutes of research shows that this is in fact a completely reformatted show.

my fault for being a bad archer fan, not being up to date on anything.

damn you hindsight!

ballsofsteelandfury

Did you seriously not read my post from three hours ago?!?

King Hippo

in our defense, we are all pretty heavily brain damaged.

/hey, I done readed it

Brocky

just got home dude. my bad. stupid impulse clicking and such. I’ll be on that like…….

I can’t finish that sentence without ending up on a list somewhere

theeWeeBabySeamus

Time for some alcohol.

WCS

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Spur
Spur

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Wakezilla

Woohoo! Ice Argos lose! Now Ice P*triots can go get fucked by the Ice Bucs

Wakezilla

Hey Litre, any tips on where to get good Alberta craft beer? Also, any tips on liquor stores that are cheaper than normal?

Also also, how about that plane landing near superstore. That was crazy

ballsofsteelandfury

What the what?!?

litre_cola
litre_cola

Well, Cold Garden Brewery is in INglewwod, as is Dandy Brewing. Wild Rose Brewery is superb and their taphouse is in Currie Barracks. Village Brewery is in the SE industrial park and their stuff is really good. Where in the city did you settle?

Wakezilla

We’re temporarily in the NE (Martindale).

litre_cola

There are a few breweries in the industrial park south of McKnight blvd between 16th Ave NE. Wild Rose would be a hike for you.

King Hippo

Early list of FF names:

These Violent Delights
Consensual Buggery

/then I just wanted another pill

Fronkenshteen

Hail Of Piss And Rat Organs struck my fancy.

Horatio Cornblower

Glad I could help

Spur
Spur

Final Fantasy Names?
Shadow, i stayed for him to return
Terra
Locke
Sabin
Cyan

Brocky

I’m just gonna go with all the mispronounced names from dissidia:

Teedus (for Tidus)
ziDON (for Zidane)

at least they didn’t screw up cloud’s name. I fully expected his name to be pronounced like “CLOOD” or some shit.

WCS

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SHUT UP BIRD