To Lemonjello’s relief, we are not talking fútbol this morning. Not while the draft is on.
We can discuss last night’s selections and today’s choices. That last sentence could apply to food, drinks, sexual partners, or draft picks.
YOU MAKE THE CALL!
In the meantime, I want you bring this important and hilarious exchange to your attention.
I joked below about Pence being a Friend of Dorothy; however, I am drinking a beer (bought by my wife, to be fair) called Shock Top Ruby Fresh Grapefruit. Feel a little like watching Bravo and dishing about the bitches at the office.
I can’t believe Corrine did that in the break room.
Right? She’s such a whore.
Why does she even try to wear stripes?
Oh THANK YOU. She looked like a zebra that blows Ron even though Ron can’t EVEN get her promoted, and he’s never leaving his wife and I’ll bet his penis smells like okra.
This wine is delicious by the way. Do you know who else is delicious? Todd. Todd from Sales. I would destroy him.
GURRRRRLLL? You best renew that Valtrex prescription. That Todd gets around and gets more ass than that bench on the Disneyland Carousel.
But he said I was different. We are having brunch at cheesecake factory on Sunday. That sonavabitch. Kidding, I will probably still fuck him. I am such a whore.
More grapefruit beer?
Please and thank you. And go ahead and get that D, just don’t come cryin to me when he brings Stacy flowers next Monday and doesn’t look you in the eye, mmmkay? And you DON’T have to give up the butt just because he buys Popeye’s.
Popeyes? Oh hell no, he is taking me to Olive Garden. I need to get my breadsticks. Did you see Rhonda’s new man? He totally looks like a cross between Pierce Brosnan and Shrek.
Mm hmm. Rhonda’s lucky if she gets Shrek’s retarded nephew; that bitch couldn’t count to ten if you spotted her one through nine. You get that Olive Garden, but if he tries to talk you into the All You Can Eat Pasta, you take that bamboo wine and run.
How did that bottle get finished so fast? Does it have a hole in the bottom? Ha ha ha. Listen what are you doing talking to Daryl again on facetime? You know he just wants a place to live! I don’t trust him.
Daryl’s not so bad once you get to know him. And he takes care of his kids at least once a month. Besides, he ain’t moving in unless I get a ring or at least a promise.
God, I love you guys! Enjoy the morning!
