Whatever happened to the Swedish Bikini Team?

I mean,  yeah,  they were really American models that were put together for an Old Milwaukee advertising campaign in the early 90s, but still…

The eternal question remains: how hot are real Swedish girls?

Um, yeah… so the answer is VERY.

But this is a World Cup preview.  What about the men?

Zlatan Ibrahimovic has defined Swedish football for the last decade. His skills are legendary.

As you can see in the last one,  he now plays for the LA Galaxy in MLS in the US which in international soccer circles has traditionally meant the equivalent of going to a nursing home.

So, Zlatan, with his massive ego is NOT on Sweden’s World Cup team. Who is?

A bunch of guys from various European leagues that play well together.  Plus Gustav Svensson from the Seattle Sounders!

Which is not a bad thing.  In fact,  many older Swedes prefer it that way. Zlatan, while beloved many places,  rubbed the traditional Swedes the wrong way.

The traditional Swedish sports ethic has been of humble men and women that work hard as a team to achieve success (very Scandinavian,  I know).  Not surprisingly,  for all of Zlatan’s talent,  the national team with him never achieved anything and actually missed the last two World Cups.

Without him?

Remember how we were all laughing that Italy didn’t qualify for this World Cup? You know who beat them over two legs to kick them out?

Sweden.

Granted, they only scored one goal over the course of two full games and Italy’s attack was as impotent as (gets put on FBI watchlist), so…

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I have to admit, I LOVE IKEA.  Yes, modular furniture gets me all hot and bothered. Plus, you can’t beat their meatballs…

There are vicious rumours out there that the meatballs actually come from Turkey and that they contain horse.  To that I say, GIVE ME SOME MORE JOHN ELWAY!!!

The other thing that IKEA has going for it is the quality of the female clientele.  Seriously, have you gone into an IKEA lately?  It’s all young and fit females outfitting their tiny dorms/apartments wearing yoga pants or short shorts.  It’s like the furniture version of Whole Foods.

Where was I?  Oh yeah, the World Cup.

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Another thing that Sweden has going for it is music.  More specifically, dance music.  Starting with ABBA,

on to the Swedish House Mafia

And Avicii (RIP)

And others… For some reason, the Swedes really like to feel the groove.

Which is a good thing.

What?  Oh, yeah. Ok, fiiiine, the World Cup.

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Schedule

18 JUN 2018 – 15:00 Local time, 05:00 Pacific, Nizhny Novgorod Stadium, Nizhny Novgorod

SWEDEN v SOUTH KOREA

23 JUN 2018 – 21:00 Local time, 11:00 Pacific, Fisht Stadium, Sochi

GERMANY v SWEDEN

27 JUN 2018 – 19:00 Local time, 07:00 Pacific, Ekaterinburg Arena, Ekatering

MÉXICO v SWEDEN

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Prognosis

The first game and the last game hold the most promise.  As I mentioned in the México preview, Ze Germans start slow and then react.  After a probable tie with México, they will be out for blood in the second game.  The group qualification, then, will depend on what Sweden can do against México and South Korea.

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Predicción

I say the Mexicans tie Germany in the first game and that sets up the Swedes for a beating in the second game. Sweden can beat the Koreans, but that game has tie written all over it. I had pencilled in a loss to México but the more I think about it, it will probably be a tie. So that makes it 2 ties and 1 loss that likely takes them to third place in the group.

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Editor’s Note: We have a World Cup Pool!! Please click the link below to sign up:

https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=149105

The pool password is “Balls”

As always,  there will be a fabulous prize given to the winner.  Join today!!