We are roughly halfway through the Group Stage with three more games on tap. Let’s get right to it!
5:00 AM Pacific
Brasil v Costa Rica
Balls: Neither team looked particularly good in their last game. There are rumours
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lE5Tlq2pgc
that Neymar is hurt. My sources tell me he merely has sand in his vagina.
Costa Rica, on the other hand, couldn’t get any offense going against Serbia and Navas, who is also hurt, let one in and that was that. Brazil has other goal scorers. The dropoff from Navas is Grand Canyon-esque.
Predicción: Someone other than Neymar scores and Brazil keep their hopes alive: 2-0.
Litre_Cola : Well you would have to think Brazil should run through these guys. Dare I say that the South American entries in to this here tournament are a wee bit overrated except Uruguay who is en route to the 3 game TwBs scorelin?. Neymar hurt his ankle against Switzerland as they targeted him the whole time. Did it work? Hell yes it did. Reports are unclear as for his status against the Costa Ricans, but it really shouldn’t matter as Brazil has far more class than their foes. I like the plucky little underdog but the Brazilians should run through Bryan Ruiz and co.
Predicción: Balls is right, 2-0 sounds spot on.
Wakezilla: After a disappointing tie, Brazil gets a little bit of a breather as they face Costa Rica. Unfortunately for them, Neymar is hurt, but will start. I cannot stress how much of a terrible decision this is. Brazil has Firminio on the bench, so they might as well use him and give Neymar a rest. That’s not that much of a talent drop. Besides, if Brazil can’t beat Costa Rica without Neymar, then aren’t winning shit.
Costa Rica lost a tough one to an up and coming Serbia team. Costa Rica is heading into this game, trying to keep it nice and tight.
Once Brazil slips up, then they’ll go in for a penetrable offensive run, which could lead to them slipping one past the goalie. More Sexual innuendo.
Predicción: Unlike Uruguay and France, I don’t get the impression that Brazil has learned their lesson about stepping up their game. Costa Rica is going to leave everything on the field, but it won’t be enough. Brazil wins 1-0 in another uninspired game.
8:00 AM Pacific
Nigeria v Islandia
Balls: We almost have all the Panini stickers for the Nigeria team in our work album. That’s about the most positive thing I can say about this team.
Iceland, in the other hand, can go a long ways towards advancing with a win against the Africans. And they have the football to do it.
So, fun scenario: If Iceland DOES win, do they and Croatia agree to a tie in the last game to fuck Argentina? I would.
Prediction: Iceland 2 Nigeria 1
Litre_Cola: Nigeria has nice outfits and underachieved their 1st game. It did not go well. Since the Euros, Iceland has never shrunk in the spotlight and have always worked haarder than their opponants. They will play this game tough, and try to push the Nigerians around. I would really like to see the plucky cold nation go through. So basically the whole country watched the game against Argentina. The whole damn country.
Spá: Clap………….Clap……………this one has a Twbs written all over it. A heard fought 1 nil win for the Vikings.
Wakezilla: Recently, Mikel John Obi said Nigeria would have won the World Cup if their FA wasn’t such a shit show. From 1998-2006, I’d agree with this assessment. They had some excellent teams back in the day, but they’d always meltdown. Same thing happened to Cameroon and Ghana. They look poised to go for a deep run and then their FA would stop paying them. Like, if there’s one time their government should do some shady corrupt shit to make things happen, that would be it. This is Nigeria’s best chance to win a game and it’s also a must win game. They should be going balls to the wall against Iceland.
Iceland is starting to have key injuries build up. Sigurdsson will play, but is still not completely fit and Gudmundsson will miss the match. In group stage, this shouldn’t affect them too much, since Iceland is very much a system based team.
Prediction: This game feels like a 1-1 draw. Nigeria will press late, but won’t be able to get through Iceland’s defense.
11:00 AM Pacific
Serbia v Suiza
Balls: This will be a tremendous game between two very tough teams. The two teams have so many players over six feet tall, it might as well be a basketball game.
Except there will be no black guys on the field.
Prédiction: A lively and energetic tie: 1-1.
Wakezilla: We have an unexpected first place showdown! The Swiss are now unbeaten in six, which includes draws against Brazil and Spain. That’s pretty impressive. They’re the favorites and will be going for the win so they can rest their players against Costa Rica.
Serbia’s tournament is already a success as they have three points. Assuming their young players develop and stay relatively healthy, they look like they could be a tough team if they qualify for the World Cup in Qatar. This game could see lots of cards because both Switzerland and Serbia play a physical style game. Serbia also likes to play a more wide open game, so, there should be lots of scoring chances.
Prediction: Serbia’s coach said “We know everything about Switzerland now we are going to watch for some details (from) when they played Brazil to make sure we have not missed any details.” I like that they don’t seem content on getting just one win. I think we’re going to get a physical, card infested and entertaining 1-1 draw.
Litre_Cola: My bias has not wavered. Switzerland is gorgeous but the prices are ridiculous, damn country almost sunk a trip of mine many years ago. Screw those art stealin cheese eaters.
Serbia has Fulham connections but if Mitrovic has a poor World Cup Fulham will get him for cheap so I am torn. Did you know they got promoted to the Premier League this past season? A lot of people forget that.
Предвиђање: A bruiser of a game because it means so much where the Serbs come out on top 2-1.
Let’s see what is number 1 in Serbia this week! It is a banger, complete with tennis attire!
I love foreign music videos. Love them.
Is this a trick question?
Drink. Dick jokes. Any then more drinking. Pretty standard stuff I think.
Sometimes, I staple things.
I think the question is at work, but answer as you like.
I’m really getting tired of fighting geese. Not to mention stepping in goose shit everywhere I walk outside.
As much as I’ll hate doing it, I’m becoming more and more convinced that this oversized flock of Canada Geese (almost four dozen of them) is going to have to become the University of Texas to my Charles Whitman.
I just went out and ran them back into the lake, then lobbed about a dozen 9 iron shots at them to run them across to the other side. That was pretty humane I thought.
Let ’em shit in someone else’s yard for a few days.
Needs more predators. Or maybe goose dinners.
Have I told you guys I love Ozzy Man?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBQp-XRPeGY&feature=youtu.be
Alright, I’ll take Yanet then.
Where?
Oh wait, now I get it.
Damn, miss one joke and it’s on.
LOL. I’m just faking being drunk and stupid.
In about an hour, I won’t be faking anymore, fwiw.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1hnwvWhbJw
Hey, at least I didn’t dedicate any Green Day to you.
Yet.
Heheheheh….
Hump
I could watch the weather all day long in Mexico.
You’d get sunburned.
Can’t pay those ESPN editors enough
Well to be fair, he is kinda cute.
Oh wait, now I get it.
I’d fuck him. Even apparently being a white male Michelle Beadle has struggled to get where she is.
“You guys having as much fun as I am? Let’s keep playing!” – the ref, apparently
“I just scored a goal with my feet, so I’ll take off my shirt and flex my arms to show off. Brilliant.”
Yeah, he needs to be tested for all the PEDs
To be fair, he’s pretty swole. I’d show off too.
Suggestive waist line too!
Right?
The ladies love that “V”.
I’ve been misled…
What do they think about a wide “U”?
She rode horses all her life?
He’s glowing green, FFS!
And my brother in law just spiked a full bottle of beer on the patio.
What precipitated this? My wife asking his wife when she was going to give her two weeks at her job in Florida before they move up north. Apparently my brother in law disagreed with her answer
This sounds like a hell of a weekend brewing.
Open bar reception tonight. All hell might break loose
For fucks sakes! What the fuck was the defense doing? God damnit!
Another decent save. It feels like a matter of time before Swiss scores.
-Blair Walsh
Uh oh. Serbia looks gassed.
“Excellent.”
-Emperor Franz Josef
Wait, there’s a Swiss black guy?
/ trying to think of dark chocolate joke
That concept is just
How was that not a penalty? Was the VAR guy asleep?
So that’s not offsides?
-Jeff Triplette
I turn away for one minute and some schlub tosses a ‘1’ next to SUI!
That wasn’t a
For the Serbs a win is their Princip objective. They’re willing to cleanse any obstacle in their path.
They might need German help to get through
Live look at the Swiss defenders’ kits
From a distance it looks like the shirt Andres Escobar was wearing the night he died.
Well done sir!
The Serbs are swatting Swiss incursions like so many subpoenas from the International Criminal Tribunal.
Nice
I wonder if that magic spray works on hangovers.
I doubt you can deep-fry it.
If you hold the can upside down and spray, you’ll get so high you’ll forget…well, everything.
I haven’t heard so much whistling since that time I walked past that construction site.
/my legs go on for days, you see
That’s what you get, going out in public dressed like that.
You should have seine my fishnets.
A quick strike from Serbia to start things off?
Leave it to the Serbs to draw first blood on an international level
Just getting moar expensive for Fulham….
Will the Swiss win?
Bet on it!!
Hyno Toad ignores your pleas for mercy.
That’s an interesting take on a Haka dance
Aaahhh! I’m being haunted from beyond the grave!
Shit. Sorry. I misplace the commentariate sometimes.
It’s fine. I don’t expect that level of attention to my affairs.
I’m withholding my final review, but this teaser for the live-action Harvey Birdman movie has a lot of potential.
Still was a dick move, unintentional, but still; it was just yesterday.
Is that Messi?
It damn sure ain’t Waldo. That guy was really easy to find.
Oh shit, I get it now. Dammit.
Have some more breakfast vodka.
I know I am.
Shit, it’s lunchtime here already? OK, make it a double then.
Well, if I must.
He’s taking his talents to Lagos!
Wakanda forever!
Even the ID!!! ?