Your “I Don’t Miss The Electric Company” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

There’s a ‘planned power outage’ happening in these parts so I gotta load this one right quick. No, I don’t have any idea why I didn’t do this yesterday. TO THE GAMES!

Niners/Chiefs:

Will Jimmy G be able to keep up with the surly KC O? Not really but take the over anyway.

Cincy/Car:

Who gon carry le ballon for the Bengali’s? Mixon is out, Rawls was just signed and Bernard was limited in practice on Friday. It seems like Gio is ready to go but we might just see a little [looks way down depth chart] Mark Walton?

Bills/Vikes:

Cover your eyes! A rook qb that struggled last week vs. Minny pressure. A massive hole at the cb2 spot due to a sudden retirement. No LeSean. (most likely) The leader of this Buffalo team goes by the name of General Disarray. Oh, and ‘League Parity’ was seen boarding a party bus to Tijuana.

Den/Bal:

The effectiveness of the Bronc’s rushing attack is dependent on little ol’ Phillip Lindsay, the undrafted 5’8″, 190 pounder out of Colorado. Aren’t you glad you snapped him up from the waiver wire like the cheeky monkey you think yourself to be?

Ind/Phi:

Carson Wentzworth III has deigned to play this week for the Eagle birds. Huzzah!

NYG/Hou:

Give the rb the ball and Snacks & Co. will most likely devour them. However, give the qb the ball in a zone-read situation and watch the yardage pile up. This week it’s DeShaun Watson’s turn.

Pack/’Dacted’s:

The only thing questionable about Aaron Rodgers is his judgement regarding his family. Despite the injury status Gutsy McGutterton will play.

Oak/Mia:

Who is Mike Gesiki? He’s the Fins reception leader from the te spot with one catch for 11 yards. That happened in week one. He wasn’t targeted at all last Sunday.

Ten/Jax:

This was Derrick Henry’s year but he decided to be the schlubbiest schlub that ever schlubbed a football. Don’t start his sorry ass vs. the Jagwads.

NO/Atl:

There’ll be plenty of skid marks, dropped axles and blown transmissions on the field after this one is done. (there, I jinxed it-10-7 final)

YES! Got it in on time. Time to sit in the corner in complete darkness and think. You? You start typing.

 

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Mr. Ayo

The Chefs showed up for Sunday Gravy

King Hippo

BANNER!!

King Hippo

Donks gonna lose, but still fuck up my bets.

Spur

I bench Freeman on the Donks since Lindsey is getting all his touches and now Lindsey has been ejected. Figures.

King Hippo

I didn’t know this was themed “Ejection Sunday”

litre_cola

Well ejaculation Sunday gets messy.

Sharkbait

2018 NFL season: Ties and Ejections.

fleshwound_NPG

There have been a few ejections already this year

Year of the Safety now Year of the Ejection?

LemonJello

Green Bay’s D misunderstood “Fuck You” mode, and they are doing their best Little Big Horn impression.

litre_cola

Uggh everything is falling apart. Gamblor has forsaken me, whatever FF God there is has forsaken me.

King Hippo

SAME

King Hippo

Know who I played ahead of David Johnson, in both leagues (including a last-second sub in money league)?

That’s right, Matt Fucking Breida, the guy who just shredded his ACL.

Gatoraids

Gah nooo

bk109

You may want to file a grievance with Gamblor, ’cause I’m pretty sure you can’t be this boned by the Lord and Master of All Degenerates, Punters and Students on a deadline!

Wakezilla

I praised him last week by declaring he could be a big star if he became consistent. It was inevitable that he would die.

Spur

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Redshirt

The Safety Gods demand a sacrifice!

bk109

‘evening Pervs and commiserations to the Kingliest of Hippos, for I have returned from the Arsenal game and I was reminded of why Theo Walcott blows….

King Hippo

We are a mentally fragile bunch. It was inevitable what was coming eventually would happen.

bk109

Could be worse,lol – my boss is having a meltdown on Skype, ’cause he put a grand on the Vikes XD

King Hippo

SAY Geronimo!!!

LemonJello

Geronimo Allison? How is he not a [*Redacteds]?

fleshwound_NPG

If he wasn’t playing currently, Alex Smith would be fapping himself to death looking at Andrew Luck’s passing stats right now

LemonJello

AARon may have just engaged “Fuck You” mode.

Gatoraids

More redacted s engaging fuck themselves mode

Spur

he doesnt care who or what he fucks, Bears, women, men etc.

Spur

Bill O”Brian needs to be fired, NOW.

Redshirt

Bengals are apparently playing flag football.

LemonJello

So…Odd Week [*Redacted] s?

King Hippo

I am pulling for the Bungles, but super happy for CJ to get into the action.

Mother Puncher

Bengals please stop the fat man from running

Mother Puncher

Bengals are bad again

King Hippo

I almost wish I could watch this LOLfins/Raiders shitshow in full. It’s GLORIOUS

Senor Weaselo

Is the elephant’s name Stampy at least?

King Hippo

Dakota Jeebus is still dumb, I see.

Spur

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Spur

the full video of this is awesome.

fleshwound_NPG

D-lineman covering a RB

Good one, Humps

Mother Puncher

I take back what I said. Bengals are good. AFC champs!

Redshirt

Don’t do it! Even Dave Shula went 7-9 once!

litre_cola

Cameron Wake killed Emo Carr.

Redshirt

Ha! Bengals faked the cameraman out!

blaxabbath

Stupid cameraman bitch!

Spur

Red Zone fight is the best.

King Hippo

I think Balmer gets a touched down there, but the pylon stretch is still the dumbest move in sport.

litre_cola

Can we skip to where JJ Watt gets a season ending injury?

LemonJello

**eye roll**
-Lindsey Vonn

King Hippo

from Duke University! I remember that fucker!!

King Hippo

Your temporary road competence was enjoyable, Donks.

Gratliff

I did not even realize teh Gints were playing

Spur

Eli just wanted to catch the new Pokemon but NO he has to play this stupid game.

LemonJello

AARon went down harder and faster tha***

/presses hand to imaginary ear piece

Nevermind.

King Hippo

yeah, Danica doesn’t seem like one who’s much FOAR cunnilingus. Too impatient.

ArmedandHammered

She never is able to make it to the full number of laps.

fleshwound_NPG

Best comment I’ve seen about her shitty personality and in this particular subject was from long ago:

“Fucking her would be like doing a coffee table.”

ArmedandHammered

Mahomes looking good, scrambling and making a throw like that.

Mother Puncher

What is the Cricket Wireless mascot supposed to be?

litre_cola

Cinci v KC last 2 minutes in the wild card round. Who ya got?

Redshirt

Need to know scenario. What’s the score? Is Burfict playing?

litre_cola

Burfict playing, Bengals up by 2, KC has the ball.

Redshirt

KC wins by field goal. I won’t trust Cincy in a playoff game until they win one.

Spur

Does Andy Reid get a meal at the 2 minute warning. Is Burfict ejected yet?

Gratliff

FUCK YOU FAVRE

King Hippo

Christ and Sonny Jeebus, I am not looking forward to playing the Chefs twice.

fleshwound_NPG

Andy Reid will find a way to fuck this up.

LemonJello

Just make all the in-stadium ads for local All-You-Can-Eat Buffets and he’ll be too distracted to call plays.

Mr. Ayo

Mahomes is the new charmslinger

King Hippo

Pat Mahomes, good at teh footy

Gratliff

Mahomey

Spur

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Redshirt

I hate it when the refs made the right call, discuss it, and change it the wrong call so it can be reviewed back to the right call.

Mr. Ayo

Damn cowards

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s My Raiders!

Sharkbait

The fuck is going on up there???

Ian Scott McCormick

The Manning family spends more time in luxury boxes than Jerry Jones’ favorite hooker.

LemonJello

Fun Fact: Luxury Boxes is what Ol’Dubble J calls his favorite hooker(s)!

Ian Scott McCormick

Yes sir