One of the very few rules we set up around here when DFO was created was that we would try to not copy or rehash posts that KSK made famous. For the most part, we’ve been pretty successful in forging our own path.
Heck, even former KSKers are copying our post ideas!
Thus, we’ve never really done the Drafts which used to be part of the KSK experience. Earlier this week, that all changed when Lemonjello came up with a BRILLIANT idea when I mentioned my future post-retirement career as a porn producer.
His idea:
BATTLE OF THE NETWORK PORN STARS
Awesome, right? Who doesn’t remember those epic shows pitting tv stars against tv stars for television network supremacy!
They would participate in various sporting events and the team with the most points at the end won Network glory.
Granted, we need to change things a bit since apparently only one company owns all the porn websites. Instead of networks, each team will do Battle for the pride of individual Commentists!
You bet your ass Team Balls is going to wipe the floor with the rest of you!
Here are the rules:
Each commentist will get their own team of five stars
There will be five competition events.
Each team shall consist of
- One Male star
- One Legend
- One Ethnic star
- One MILF, and
- One Wild Card (cannot be male)
The events will be
- 50 M kayak (one person event)
- 2 Feet Team Shooting (Hit the target with…you know. One person aims, one person pumps/primes, and the third “fires”. Target is two feet away from shooter.)
- Free Throw Contest (Done Thai-Ping-Pong-Show-Style. One person event)
- 400 M relay (4 person event)
- “Tug” of War (All team members compete)
You can pick one star at a time and must identify which events they will participate in and why they will kick ass in those events. You must wait until 10 people make their picks to pick again.
If you include a SFW pic or gif of your pick, you can pick again after only 5 people have picked.
Choose wisely and may the best team win!
(54/69)
——
Cory Chase is tremendous value here.
I’d kill for her six pack.
Please let me kill for it.
This is a hell of a draft. Nicely done and I concur on the assessment of Cory Chase as great value.
My competence is a damning indictment
BRICK’S SUPER-ALL-STAR TEAM
Legend: FAT RON JEREMY
Ethnic: BIG DICK BLAQUE
Wild Card: THE ASS FUCK TWINS
Male Star: KARL HUNGUS
MILF: CANDY BARR, THE FIRST PORN STAR
THIS is how you draft, people!
I still need an “ethnic” pick (I object to the term) and a wild card. Since I’m not sure there will be another five picks before I take off on this flight, I shall choose, in a tremendous display of value, Mia Khalifa and Bailey Jay, respectively.
Those are tremendous picks!
I’d stay far away from Mia Khalifa….that chick be cray cray.
You think she can’t handle herself in a kayak?
Final pick:
Sharon Lee
Event: Free Throw Shooting (was there any doubt?), 400 M relay, “Tug” of War.
Total steal. Good draft room work.
Can I take Shannon Tweed as my legend pick or does softcore not count? Because she’s seen some shit.
We will allow it.
WILD CARD PICK:
Remy Lacroix
You know those hula hoop skills will come in handy! 400 M relay and “Tug” of War!
STEAL
Wild Card: THE ASS FUCK TWINS
PICK OF THE DRAFT!!!
Sedin-esque!
That’s pretty naughty.
Aw, nuts. I’m not going to be able to draft until tonight. You fuckers.
Before I just ruined it with #70: this post had 69 comments.
Nice.
5th and final pick
Adriana Chechik
Wild card slot.
One more I think-I’m going with Wee Riley Reid.* The smart money is on her to win the limbo contest at the after-party, btw.
*Thus denying Seamus any Team Synergy Bonus Points
Alright, screw it….no pun intended.
You jerks ain’t getting Caprice away from me…
My legend….
My dude will be Buck Adams. Damn right he’s in the Tug of War, Kayak and Free Throw shooting.
With their third pick, Team Balls selects…
Christy Canyon – Legend
Miss Canyon and Balls have a personal connection that ensures this team will be successful. She will compete in the 400M relay, Team Shooting, and “Tug” of War.
*Snorts*
Hope you’re not a hobo, because you’re fighting Scotchy for her.
Christy Canyon-you’re my Legend. She’s in everything but kayaking.
DAMMIT! TOO SLOW. I’ll choose again.
For my LEGEND pick, I’ll select Serenity. She’s a former dancer, fit, and athletic.
Harley Dean shall be my ethnic pick.
Yeesh….
And I already know my legend as well, but I’ll give you losers a bit of time to take her off the board first.
Legend Pick: Savannah Samson, (that’s not her real name!)
http://www4.pictures.stylebistro.com/gi/Savanna+Samson+Decorative+Rings+Cocktail+Ring+v1U4P_AuGQCl.jpg
Team Shooting and Relay
Hitomi Tanaka is my ethnic. Are you guys asleep or something? (she won’t be in any event that involves running)
4th round
Jenna Jameson
Legend pick.
She’s in the relay with everyone else
2. Kobe Tai – Legend
YOU SONOFABITCH!!!!
errrr….I mean nice pick.
For my male star, I’ll take Evan Stone since we know he can do everything
3rd round.
Mandingo. Male star.
Relay and team shooting
2nd round, that Sarah Palin lookin MILF. Whatever her name is. Put her on my relay team.
Tina Fey is now off the board.
Lisa Ann. C’mon man, even I know that.
Is Stoya ethnic? She is to me!
?fit=650%2C366&ssl=1
Oh, and she’s part of the team shooting and she’ll be in the kayak as well.
For my MILF I’ll take Monique Alexander.
Suck it, you amateurs.
And she’s in my kayak.
So to speak.
YOU BASTARD! Great choice.
OK, you guys are cheating now.
So I will too.
Manuel Ferrara as my male.
Tug of war, 2 feet shooting, and 400 meter relay.
(he looks fast)
((well in some ways))
😀
Guess I’ll just take Anjelica Ebbi, drop the mike and walk off stage.
Nice pick.
I mean who is that?
Da!
TIL that John Holmes died in 1988
For my first pick, I’ll take Gianna Michaels, and since I’m at work I will be posting zero pics/gifs. Gianna will be my MILF rep and likely nail the free throw shooting since she’s so good with balls.
That’s a tall drink of water…
If Fat Ron Jeremy is my Legend
Then my Male Porn Star is:
BIG DICK BLAQUE ! ! !
Could also work for Ethnic. Brick is building an All-Male Powerhouse!
/ wonders if anyone will pick Jeff Stryker…
Team Sharkbait’s second selection:
Wifey. Milf Category.
She’ll compete in the kayak, and as the third member in the team shooting event.
Is it super embarrassing that I don’t know this lady’s name?
Discovering a new pornstar. Isn’t the internet great?
She did a real good job keeping her real name off of her prodigious output for a long time.
Did a Google Image Search on her. Could this actually be Otto Man’s real identity?!?!
The world would truly be poorer if she were reduced to just being a brain in an indestructible glass bubble.
If it weren’t for her shitty Arizona neighbors.
Yarrr. She’s swallowed more semen than the Pacific Ocean.
This is, believe it or not, not my strong suit, but I’ll do some searches, get on a few (more) FBI watch lists, and see what I an do.
My first pick is Lexington Steele. And he’ll be competing in anything* he wants to. Don’t like it? You tell him.
*Team shooting, Ping-Pong, and relay
SOLID pick!
That’s what the ladies tell me.
With their second pick of the draft, Team Balls selects
Brandi Love
This fit and hot lady full of MILFY goodness will be an asset to Team Balls no matter which position she is asked to take on.
She is expected to be the team’s representative for the 50M kayak, will be the anchor in the 400M relay, and will be a crucial part of the “Tug” of War.
Solid pick. Stole my choice
Nina Hartley has been MILFY for eva! She can do the tug o war by just putting the knot in her mouth and sucking.
I’ll take the classic first: Marilyn Chambers. She remained hot until, she wasn’t.
Ok, for the free throw contest, I’m picking pre-legal Traci Lords. That’s a Legend.
That’s a felony is what that is.
Point of clarification if I may?
Do the picks have to still be alive?
Yes. This isn’t Weekend At Bernie’s.
Are you completely sure about that?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzzrFFivBKk
This draft is a bit complicated for me. But I will say someone needs to pick T.T. Boy as their male. The guy was a workhorse. Seriously, he was in everything. No idea what he looks like though.
I don’t know if I’m going to have time to get all my picks in (I’ll be driving up to fucking Lodi) but since the target shooting requires someone who can drop serious loads at distance, I’m taking…
[sexy ring girl walks up to the podium]
1. Nick Manning
Oh Lord. Stuck in Lodi again?
LMFAO
Team Sharkbait’s first pick:
Asa Akira. She’ll be competing in the Team Shoot and the Free Throw contest.
Great pick!
Agreed.
Am I supposed to pick a male star first? Meh, tough.
Veronica Rodriguez. If this pick suprises anyone, you haven’t been paying attention….
I’m assuming she’s your Ethnic pick. Which events will she be participating in?
Anything she wants.
But let’s go with tug o’ war.
And no, let’s call her the wild card.
Imma have to pick a black girl later for my ethnic.
With the first pick in the draft, Team Balls selects…
Peter North
THIS GUY is a first ballot Hall of Famer and has the depth of experience most competitors dream about. Thanks to his strict diet regimen, he continues to put up outstanding numbers when others his age are already retiring.
Peter will compete in the 400 M relay, Team Shooting, and, of course, the “Tug” of War.
I CALL THIS FIRST PICK PETER NORTH AS IT”S REALLY GOT SOME STAYING POWER
LOL….he’s going the distance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_HoMkkRHv8
I picked a great day to work from home.