Oh, hi there. As you’ve likely noted, BrewHombreRoy is off looking for clues in a series of brutal hobo murders. For those of you that don’t know me, I’m BrettFavresColonoscopy, I lackadaisically write the DFO mailbag, and I’m filling in just for tonight. I insert a lot of extraneous links into my posts, so if you’re bored, click through. If you’re not, what are you doing here?
It’s hard to keep track of what day it is this time of year. Yesterday was a holiday. Today wasn’t. Neither was the day before yesterday. Tomorrow isn’t either. Somehow, this whole week is a work week except for Wednesday, and yet no one is really working no matter what. That includes NFL gameday action, which is absent tonight and will re-commence on Saturday with the Wildcard round on the way to the inevitable disappointment that is another Patriots Super Bowl.
But we don’t need to talk about the road to LIIV tonight, we can see what else is on in the world of sports (all times listed in DFO time, which is central for those of you just coming out of hibernation)–
CFB:
- TicketSmarter Birmingham Bowl — Boston College vs Cincinnati
- Nope, shit that already happened today
- TaxSlayer Gator Bowl — Indiana vs Tennessee, 6pm, ESPN
- Yeah, that should still be going on now
- (Almost CFB): Under Armour All-America (High School Football) Game, 6pm, ESPN2
NHL:
-
New Jersey Devils at New York Islanders, 6pm, NBC Sports Network
- St. Louis Blues at Colorado Avalanche, 8:30pm, NBC Sports Network
- Philadelphia Flyers at Vegas Golden Knights, 9pm, NBCS Philadelphia and something called ESPN+
-
Chicago Blackhawks at Vancouver Canucks, 1opm, NBCS Chicago and something called ESPN+
NBA:
- Golden State Warriors at Minnesota Timberwolves, 7pm, NBA TV
- Detroit Pistons at L.A. Clippers, 9:30pm, NBA TV
Golf? Ok, Golf:
College Basketball:
- Lots of garbage on ESPN+ but who gives a shit?
Béisbol:
- Béisbol Liga Mexicana del Pacifico, 7:30pm, ESPN Deportes
I think that’s it.
The sports world has some stuff going on but is really like the rest of us in that we’re going through the motions until the new year starts in earnest and we wistfully remember the days of writing checks and putting the wrong year on there until like March. Yesterday, Lady BFC and I spent New Year’s Day sleeping, lounging, and watching the new John Mulaney Netflix thing.
— out of context john mulaney (@nocontxtmulaney) December 9, 2019
Not that, but I do enjoy both that particular comedy special and that novelty twitter account. The new special is called John Mulaney and the Sack Lunch Bunch and it was…weird? Good? A mix of funny, bizarre, touching, and dumb? Take away the pants and that’s a pretty good sum up of the DFO crew.
As was noted a bit in some of the New Year’s Eve-adjacent open threads, the DFO crew here remains one of the needed bright spots in a dark time. I come to bury 2019, not to praise it. Sometimes shit with the incompetent kakistocrat in the White House and his enablers up and down the GOP makes it hard to just enjoy life and move forward, but when we completely tune out and say “fuck it, this is just politics and it doesn’t really impact me,” we’re letting those assholes win and ruin America (or the UK or Australia depending on which country is being ruined in your backyard). So I’ve been trying to strike a balance between not letting it consume me–breathing exercises, yoga, beer, cooking, whatever–and doing something about it–engaging the few seemingly persuadable people I know, donating to causes and candidates who will stand up for democracy and the planet, etc. This is a big fucking year, and I know everyone gets sick of “this is the biggest election of our lifetime,” but…this is the biggest fucking election of our lifetime. Let’s make it fucking worth it by not letting ignorant and hateful idiots win.
Anyway, feel free to discuss how 2020 is going for you so far in the comments…or just re-watch Idiocracy and liveblog it below. May the year 2020 deliver us from this hellscape where that movie is a damn documentary.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xruauLm9u3k
“This video contains content from Pearl Jam, who has blocked it from display on this website or application.”
SHOTS SHOTS!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYxpJv7CThc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aB8kSNlz2A
Happy Surprise War With Iran Night!
I dunno, I just hope our leaders will act responsHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE’RE FUCKED
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck all of these people right now. The worst motherfuckers alive are gonna start playing the role of the grown ups, just like they did the last time we started a bullshit meaningless war they were rooting for.
Okay; I read the responses again….. this time pleasantly surprised.
Fuck it. Let’s go bowling.
Sorry, I’m busy dying face-down in the muck.so that this fucking sTrumpet….
Fuck all those keyboard warriors
Eighteen pounds of skin cut off me today and they already sent me home. Feel pretty good all things considered, but that’s probably the drugs talking. I’m gonna swell, but even with the abdominal binder, NOTICEABLE DIFFERENCE. And evidently they made me a new belly button so I don’t look like a pod person.
Kinda fun to be alive!
Congratulations!
I’m jealous
JERRY.
How many times do I have to say that Wag the Dog sucked?
You can say it some more.
Wag the Dog sucked
That might not be enough. Think of the children.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0YFY0CcqjM
I dedicate this song to Jason Garrett with sincere wishes for good things in his future but most importantly noting that the car in this video never stops heading the fuck out of town, and noting that I just as sincerely hope he does the same.
Love the BoDeans and…..
Well, his contract ends on the 14th of this month, so maybe Jerry is saving a little money depending on how the contract is written. This way all the best coaching candidates will already have been interviewed and probably already made commitments to other teams. Of course these coaches would not work well under Jerry’s heal.
Still pulling for Tomsula as Garrett’s replacement.
Start diggin’ bound to find somethin’.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3h9RnDX0kik
Love me some Bodeans. WHFS Bethesda MD.
Cowboys finally cutting the ginger out of their shit sandwich.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Again; replies are so insidious. The first few are good, so you just read a couple more to get a good joke…… THEN YOU ALWAYS READ ONE TOO MANY!!
Look, you can’t fault Dallas fans for overreacting here
Cowboy fans? They always react with logic and well thought out arguments. I wasn’t even talking about fans; it was the pedantics that have to ‘correct’ a joke. Fuck Cowboy fans anyway (except for the two good ones).
On the MLB/NFL PrePlay app, “bastard” autofiltered to “Cowboy fan.” Then again, “Hell” autofiltered to “George Costanza.” Even better, punctuation didn’t affect that, so “he’ll” also autofiltered to “George Costanza.”
I just autophiltered myself.
thatsthejoke.jpg
Guess I don’t get it. Cowboy fans don’t know “Iran.”
The assumption is all the bad replies are people going “ON A WHIM!? THEY ALLEGEDLY RILED UP SOME PEOPLE TO FUCK WITH AN EMBASSY!”, so the joke is pointing the finger at Cowboys fans
I guess my mind couldn’t wrap around the concept of any Texas sports fans being a simplistic Machiavellian distractionist.
*Distractionist is not a word……BUT IT SHOULD BE.
Oh, I guess it is.
Even though I generally have a dislike foar UT (they steal our recruits), I do have to give props.
That onside kick was pretty sweet.
NOW STAY ON YOUR OWN SIDE OF THE MOUNTAINS YOU GENETIC MISFITS.