Is everyone all excite? I know y’all is. All times EST, because fuck you, I am the author today.
Wales v. Switzerland in Baku (9:00, ESPN)
Is Baku really a place, or did someone make that shit up? Fuck if I know, man. The asshole Swiss, when not busy hiding Nazi gold, tend to set up defensively and bore the opposition to death. As you know from our delightful previews, Wales is all about sheep shagging Chrisitian Bale a/k/a in HippoSpeak Princess Leia. I’m feeling Draw.
Denmark v. Finland in Copenhagen (Noon, ESPN)
Is it patently unfair that Pukki Party has to play a “road fixture” despite already being the underdog? Sure. Welcome to the real world, especially since ESPN is involved. This could be a Draw, but if the Danes strike early, things could get out of hand quickly.
Belgium v. Russia in St. Petersburg (3:00, ABC)
Good Lord, is this the middle of the night in Rooskie-land? St. Petersburg is likely farther west than my pill-addled mind imagines. Anyway, it’s all about the TV moneys, and the most eyes will be on the flashy Belgians (led my former Everton wonderkid Romelu Lukaku). There will be goals in this one, maybe like 5-3. Bet the over.
Anything else on your mind? Will the erstwhile colonial power Cecil Rhodes appear in the Clubhouse? Tune in to find out!
The sponsor for Frank Thomas’s 4th annual Car Meet and Wife Swap is NuGenix Total-T.
Shall we gravitate to the next post? [makes ‘gentle pushing motion’ with both hands]
The resumption of this game is sponsored by Bob Huggins.
English announcer dude makes a great point-the medical staff deserve to be feted. They saved a life today.
Just read clint’s post. No need to say the same thing.
4 minutes of play, 5 minute half time, then second half.
To ESPN+!
Wait! ESPN News is the new destination.
Cecil, you’re my favourite time traveler. You live in the past and yet you can see into the future.
It’s no mistake that De Beers was (and is) such a successful venture!
The fact that you invented beer is all that more impressive!
My word, will the cast of Friends just give it up already?! We don’t need a reunion episode. What’s done is done. Time to move on.
https://twitter.com/DBUfodbold/status/1403774865186951177
Christian Eriksen is awake and his condition remains stable. He remains hospitalized at Rigshospitalet for further examinations. The match against Finland will be played tonight. This happens after the players have been confirmed that Christian is okay. The match resumes at 20.30.
For Your Consideration:
Eriksen is the luckiest person in the world. If he had a cardiac event at any other time at any other place, the outcome would surely have been drastically different.
EXACTLY
Does Steve McManaman have a flared mullet?
Either some people have smuggled their own in, or they are still serving beer at the stadium, because two of the Finnish fans just on TV are working on nearly full beers.
Honestly, this game may be played in an hour. Since he’s not dead, they don’t have to cancel it.
Though I do wonder if they’ll give Denmark an extra substitution…
They should call it a draw and move on, although this being UEFA one never knows what they’ll do.
Despite all that has happened, I’m not sure that Denmark would be OK with this. They need the 3 points if they want to get through to the knockout round (they’re not beating Belgium, and Russia is no joke).
Correct. The other part is that the Finns would want to play. If Denmark refuses, they would forfeit and be in really bad shape for the rest of the tourney.
This is the outcome that I’m expecting also. I’m sure the players now feel a lot better knowing that he’s OK.
Well if they do, we aren’t going to see it.
Lol, found this while looking for more Corduroy Jackson Jackson gifs
?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=74c2910a4e84c420d12c3e5e980f778fe46145ce
FORBIDDEN!
That’s how you know it’s good
Here ya go:
https://twitter.com/RaphaelBW/status/1401306354216685569?s=19
Biggest fan of suspended matches? You guessed it-Michael Hutchence.
It’s really a shame it wasn’t suspenders that he was using…
I am absolutely naming a fantasy team The Blue-Faced Blast-Offs.
https://twitter.com/EURO2020/status/1403765710174687242
Stabilized!
Let’s get back to that footy folks.
Stabilized!
Called it!
they shouldn’t be playing the next game either
Why? It’s in a completely separate country.
If he’d died then I’d agree with you, but apparently he’s been stabilized. Go on with the game, give him a shout out and well wishes before the start.
Yeah, like the Russians would cancel anything over one death.
“If only one man dies of hunger, that is a tragedy. If millions die, that’s only statistics.”
-Joseph Stalin
Was looking for a Stalin quote about throwing dead bodies against the Germans and happened upon this-
“It doesn’t matter how many people vote, only who counts them.”
This is another one of my favourites from him. Sadly, he’s absolutely right.
Statistically, more than one person dies on earth every second.
So… what the shit?
I like how the announcers immediately shut down the urge to speculate.
You can tell it isn’t the US media.
Because it isn’t giving insane conspiracy theories equal time out of “fairness”?
Wolf: “Welcome back to CNN. We now turn to Rick Santorum for his completely uninformed opinion as to what happened to the Danish soccer star.”
Rick: “Wolf, this is clearly the work of the Mole People…”
At least now we know whose been digging the migrant smuggling tunnels under the border…
First I’m praying that Eriksen is okay. Second I’m praying that his first words when he regains consciousness are “is Butterbean okay?”
Jackass
Anyone know if he ever had Covid?
very good question
There was an outbreak at his club just last week. He didn’t test positive though.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sports/football/top-stories/christian-eriksen-describes-hectic-days-amid-denmark-uncertainty/articleshow/81690396.cms
Ayo doin’ homework! Well done.
On a weekend too. THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!
In my defense, I’ve been drinking so my judgment is way off.
thank fuck, that looks positive (while obviously still very serious)
Conscious is a strong plus
Thank goodness. He’s a great player. Hope he has a full recovery.
The walk off has to be a good sign, right? They’d be running if there was a sense of urgency, right? They stabilized him, right?
Or he was dead
Wouldn’t they have announced that already? Or do they wait? No idea
Sure. No reason to not be positive right now.
Aaaaand there’s Brick.
CPR? Then defib? Then a horse tent? Then no ambulance?
“When Wanting To Be Right Goes Wrong”
-starring Brick Fuckstick
I mean, I went there too, and I’m not even watching
Not criticizing him. I already made the dead horse curtain joke. Just saw his reply as I was typing mine.
That and the earlier applause makes me hopeful.
Although I think it’s safe to say he’s out for the tournament regardless.
”You never know. A lot of people counted me out before the World Cup Final in 1998.”
-Ronaldo Luis Nazario de Lima
I know I don’t watch soccer, but is this the first time someone wasn’t playing dead?
Neymar is absolutely taking notes.
Tender mercies it happened in Copenhagen? You know Italian fans would be demanding they drag him off & restart the match.
And the plus side of happening during a match, there’s immediate medical attention
presumably with local traffic already blocked off as well
He just collapsed, untouched. There’s a video here; not necessarily worth watching (he just stumbles and falls forward).
https://mobile.twitter.com/razza6999/status/1403755785079996419
The worst part was the empty look in his eyes. And the straightening of his toes when they zapped him.
I’m hoping the fact that they moved him is a good sign and not a bad one.
I know these guys are pro athletes and all, but you have to feel awful before something like that happens…seriously pull yourself from the game and get medical attention beforehand
Dead horse curtains are up.
They walked him off the field instead of running an ambulance out there. I’ll take what I can get.
yeah, that is the best reed of hope available atm
The applause is a good sign.
Jesus, is that his wife?
There’s gonna be one hell of a halftime speech . . .
Win one for the Gipper?
They can probably stop running the clock now.
They aren’t going to do some bullshit “show must go on” crap, are they?
Nope, suspended by UEFA
Just announced the game is suspended
Match has been suspended.
So where do we get that Swiss Nazi gold?
Fuck man, just get that heart going again.
What happened on the play? I only caught the announcers saying that it didn’t look like that hard of a challenge.
I don’t think that’s from anything that happened on the field
He just collapsed, no one around him.
oh fuck, that brings back Hank Gaithers memories
I didn’t see it. It didn’t look like anything unusual and then he was down.
I think he just collapsed. As soon as he hit the ground nearby players were waving medical staff over.
He was running over to get in position, and then he started dragging his feet, and then just went down.
Forget calling the half, they may want to consider calling the game.