Sexy Friday, LaboUr Day Weekend 2021 edition

Hopefully all of you get at least a 3 day weekend. I’m among the lucky ones that get a 4-day weekend as I’ve gotten today off. I’ve already worked out, showered, gone to Smart n Final for some groceries and am about to take a nice luxurious nap as soon as I finish writing this.

I’m not gonna lie to you, it’s been an interesting last few days on the real life front. Somehow, I thought yesterday was today and I hurriedly put together a rushed post only to realize what day it really was when I was scheduling it. It’s been that kind of week.

Luckily, everything has turned for the good and the four-day weekend couldn’t have come at a better time.

On to Balls’ Thoughts O’ Da Week!

***

Balls’ AFL Finals Preview Part Deux

Early this morning, the Geelong Cats beat the Toby Greene-less GWS Giants to advance to the Preliminary Final against the Melbourne Demons. Poor Toby got a 3 week suspension for walking into an umpire and all of Australia was up in arms about it. The AFL is still going to appeal to make it 6 to make an example of him. That appeal will be heard after Finals are over.

Knowing that the Cats won, I’ll be watching the replay sometime this weekend. I still have to catch up on reading Europe At Midnight, the second book in the Fractured Europe series. This weekend is as good as any to read that book.

The other Semi Final is Brisbane v Western at the Gabba and that will be shown on TV late tonight starting at 2:30 AM Pacific. Any of you on the East Coast can wake up early for that one and watch it while eating your avocado toast and a flat white to get in the mood.

There was a little shop in DTLA that made Australian meat pies but they’ve disappeared and I wish I could find some. There’s a sizable Aussie population in Los Angeles, so I’m sure there’s gotta be another place that sells them. It may seem weird to eat them with some ketchup but that’s the Australian way and they are really damn tasty!

***

Recommended Viewing

Archer has been really good this year, you guys. I know a bunch of you jumped off the bandwagon, but it’s worth checking out again.

***

A Momentous Occasion

This is my 800th post writing for DFO. Honestly, when I first started writing, I did it for fun and to get better at writing. I never thought I’d actually have 800 posts published in this here website.

It’s been an awesome experience and I encourage everyone that has ever thought about giving creative writing a try to do it. This is the perfect place to start. It’s an encouraging community that behaves well and will be supportive.

There are many people writing here that do a much better job at some things than me. I love BeerGuyRob’s history posts as they are both informational and fun. RTD has nailed the Sleazy Hollywood Producers posts so well that I’m surprised he hasn’t been contacted for a spec script. I think Blax is one of the most talented writers we have and I’m glad he’s contributing to the site. I’m also glad that has given us his weekly Wrestling Wednesday Open Threads as his love of wrestling really shines through and is contagious. Most recently, Walkingthedog gave us a UEFA Conference League preview that was awesome and introduced me to teams I didn’t even know existed.

The key, I think, is to write about something you are passionate about. If there is something in your life that you love and you want to share that love with us, we would love to read it!

Those are the best types of posts and the fact that we get a lot of those around here is what makes this site special. If anyone is interested in writing for the site, please let us know in the comments and we’ll get in touch with you and figure out a way to make it work.

***

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your Top 9 pictures of the week.

h/t Blax
h/t BeefReeferLives
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t RTD
h/t Don T
h/t Anthony in TX
h/t Mr. Ayo
h/t Brocky (Balls’ Pic O’ Da Week!)
h/t Brick

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Today we are back to the puzzles! No one guessed last week’s puzzle, so I’m replaying it for the last time. Here was your first hint: Play the Just Feels Tight video! Your second hint is: Read my first Balls Thoughts O’ Da Week item.

As always, I will give up to three hints in the comments at your request. You try to determine the hidden theme or link between all the songs. Good luck!

Song Number One:

POOLCLVB – Space

Canción Número Dos:

FISHER – Losing it

Chanson Numéro Trois:

FISHER – Just Feels Tight

Canzone numero quattro:

SCNDL – The Munsta

Canção número cinco

DJ Tigerlily – Ashes

Seigarren zenbakia:

NERVO – You’re Gonna Love Again

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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borisnow

I’ve been wanting to do some writing for fantasy sports (DFS specifically) for some time now. If there’s an appetite for that here, please let me know!

Brocky

J.g is sa ae

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Brocky

Follow up pic
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I just finished the GWS-Geelong replay. Not just Toby but also missing Hogan was too much to overcome. Big effort to start the fourth but outmatched. And the refs sucked, but pretty evenly so.

yeah right

I only wish Fremantle would ever disappoint me in the playoffs.

How you feeling Brother?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aight. Stressed af but ticker is ok.

yeah right

You’re a good man Balls.

If you’re not the glue then at least you’re the sticky substance that holds us together.

And it doesn’t wash off easy.

Last edited 3 years ago by yeah right
yeah right

Not the greatest sound quality but solid visuals.

This was one of the best songs from Monday night. Live and as it happened.

Black Crowes at Red Rocks from Monday Night.

I did not film this.

I could not have possibly been in condition to film this.
But I saw it live.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0XHFK0pIyA

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Glad you made the trip

yeah right

It was… something.

Good times though.

Good times.

I’ll travel again in about 3 years.

Mental therapists are making a killing right now.

Gumbygirl

I’m going to go read, here’s my sexy Friday picture

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Brocky

I’m outta beer pictures, you’ll just have to make do

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s OK, I have more beer.

Mr. Ayo

She doesn’t need any beer.

Senor Weaselo

Year to date tab of tire valve caps stolen from my car: 5

Sharkbait

That’s an oddly specific thing to steal

Dunstan

My plan is almost complete.

Brocky

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Dunstan

I’m trying to figure out what story the photographer is telling us here.

“Harmony, you bitch, you’re blocking the air conditioning, I’m trying to cool off my underboobs here!”
“Just give me a minute, my butt is really hot!”

scotchnaut

I’m going to go out on a limb (this is a cheeky use of words, you’ll get it in just a second) and say that one can’t complain to the server that “these wings are too salty!” after having ordered the Salt and Pepper Chicken Wings.

/they were very salty

Sharkbait

I mean, its in the name

Dunstan

So you were too chicken to complain?

Dunstan

Anyone ever used an air fryer? A friend just regifted me one, and so clearly I have to make fried food and pretend it’s healthy.

litre_cola

It is great. You do not need any oil, it is a convection oven and works way better for making things crispy than anything else.

Mr. Ayo

Of course. Replaced my oven and microwave.

scotchnaut

My son’s observation is thus: “Don’t try to kid yourself, use a bit of oil, it makes a lot of difference in the final taste. A little goes a long way”.

Dunstan

Yeah, the recipes I’m looking at now (for Nashville hot chicken) all advise using some cooking spray

Dunstan

Big night for Canadian tennis! FAA wins in five, Fernandez upsets Osaka in three. All hail the new tennis superpower!

Mr. Ayo

Fernandez is *checks age*, um, a very good tennis player.

litre_cola

Settle down there Peter Nygaard.

Mr. Ayo

Holy shit! lol

scotchnaut

Per Below-

Rick Steves is the one of the few guys out there that is who he is. I told wifey countless times, “This Is A Persona! He’s going to drop it one day, and then you’ll see!”*

*He chuckles softly at me in my dreams, the bastard

Anthony In TX

He seems like a “what you see is what you get” kind of guy. A dude that found his passion and made a positive impact on the world by following that love.

Horatio Cornblower

Getting high?

Anthony In TX

Hey, whatever puts on your red light. He ain’t doing anyone any harm.

Horatio Cornblower

The world would be a better place with more Rick Steves in it.

scotchnaut

Should we burn him at the stake our disembowel him in the town square?

Anthony In TX

Hard to turn down a good old-fashioned stake-burnin’. Wouldn’t want to give him a Braveheart moment with the disemboweling.

Gumbygirl

How about a nice impaling?

Brocky

Speaking of old Milwaukee, there were some cans in the background of Loki, my dad got a big kick out of it

scotchnaut

The Boob Jays tied it up at 8 with the help of a Grand Slam (not a breakfast) and then promptly gave up two more runs.

Vlad Jr. is a fat fuck. There, I said it.

Mr. Ayo

Ok, but when is the Grand Slam going on sale?

litre_cola

The fried steak for breakfast has always been a mystery to me. I need to get to a Stuckeys and give that a go.

Gumbygirl

He needs a pinch runner just to get to the batting circle.

Horatio Cornblower

I am absolutely going to use this.

Gumbygirl

Be my guest!

Horatio Cornblower

I would say that the Yankees are driving me to drink, but I was already there.

scotchnaut

More of an escort, really.

litre_cola

Hell yeah!comment image

Anthony In TX

That green really captures the “feeling slightly but undefinably nauseous” character of the car

litre_cola

Middle class soccer mom in 95 thought the Teal coloUr made it pop.

Brocky

My first car was a teal 93 ford tempo.

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That car had character, but the novel was really long and had a lot of characters.

Gumbygirl

Had a 92 Escort. Navy blue. Gumby got hammered and crashed it into a fence. Middle of nowhere, no cops, no DUI.

Anthony In TX

My GOD, that fucking Applebee’s commercial. They took an absolute bottom-of-the-barrel dogshit faux-country garbage song that got popular on Tik Tok, missed the entire point of the whole song (“we’re such gutter trash that a shit-barn feeding trough like Applebee’s is fancy to us”) and turned it into a commercial that everyone hates with the burning passion of a million alien suns.

I’m not mad.

SonOfSpam

You’ve captured my feelings exactly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Today we are brothers.

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo

¡Muy caliente!

Horatio Cornblower

These Rick Steves European tours shows have really taken a turn.

Anthony In TX

Actress who’s mainly there because she’s got big boobs and can moan real good: “Oh, it seems I have misplaced my guidebook! Who will help me?”

Rick Steves (removes glasses): “I’ve got a weinerschnitzel you can experience.”

(the writing is terrible in these movies)

Horatio Cornblower

(Rick is of course high as fuck during this exchange)

Anthony In TX

Well, obviously. First stop is always Amsterdam.

litre_cola

Not wrong

SonOfSpam

Glad I’m not the only middle-aged weirdo who enjoys Rick Steves.

He might make a fun column idea or something.

Must get high.

Anthony In TX

Rick Steves may be a big ol’ nerd, but he’s incredibly knowledgeable and helpful.
Mrs. In TX bought one of his books before our trip to London in 2018 and we found a bunch of interesting stuff to check out.

Gumbygirl

I love him. He seems to be a genuinely good guy who loves his job. Nothing wrong with that.

Gumbygirl

Is this Twilight fan fiction? There’s money in that!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Drinking a passionfruit gin & tonic tonight and it’s very nice. What spice/herb would really take this to the next level? Allspice?

Gumbygirl

Maybe some ginger, and a lime wedge?

litre_cola

Always lime. Good call.

Sharkbait

Came here to say lime. Maybe a blood orange? Citric acid for sure

SonOfSpam

Saffron.

I’m just wild about saffron.

litre_cola

Is saffron mad about you?

Gumbygirl

They call him mellow yellow, quite rightly.

Mr. Ayo

FREEZER VODKA

Horatio Cornblower

May I interest you in some Vagina Beer?

Because apparently that’s a thing.

scotchnaut

“Not for long.”

-Texas

Brocky

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Horatio Cornblower

I remember what a big deal it was when Fat Tire was available on the east coast. Then had it and it was just OK.

Sharkbait

Right? I mean it’s good, but not mind blowingly good.

SonOfSpam

Yeah but it was one of the first “micro brews” to go national.

It’s fine, but no better than fine.

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, it’s not Yuengling. That beer should have stayed where it was.

Anthony In TX

It was the first “craft” beer I ever had. My tee-totalling mom actually bought me a 6-pack of Fat Tire for my 21st birthday. Opened up a whole wide world to me that had previously consisted of light beer and whatever shit they put in kegs for high school and college parties.

Gumbygirl

In Western PA, that was Rolling Rock, Iron City, or for extra fancy field soirees, Genny Cream.

Horatio Cornblower

Iron City is in the running for worst thing I’ve ever put in my mouth, and I went to an all-boys Catholic school.

Gumbygirl

Vitamin I. That’s what the old guys would drink with their Wild Turkey in the corner bar before their shift in the mill. And after. And of course, underaged kids. It’s not quite as nasty on tap as it is in bottles and cans.

Brocky

Hope this posts.

Or else mr. Ayo is gonna yell at me

https://v.redd.it/iqfnf6ff8ha71

Mr. Ayo

JFC

Horatio Cornblower

/cracks open locker door

Psst! In here. He won’t find us in here.

Mr. Ayo
Brocky

Are reverse mic drops a thing?

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Last edited 3 years ago by Brocky
Mr. Ayo

Stupid youtoob.

https://vimeo.com/597559108

Last edited 3 years ago by Mr. Ayo
Gumbygirl

.

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Mr. Ayo

Settle down Google.

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herodotus450

They should just make preseason CFB ranking based on week 1 matchups: guarantee at least 12 top 25 games!

herodotus450

Celtics acquire Hernangomez

Wow it only took one down year of sprots demand for ESPN to turn to reporting 1st century hostage transactions. Not that I’m complaining.

Horatio Cornblower

Took me a while, but was able to find this ad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BDjkQm4UXo

Horatio Cornblower

This might be my favorite ad.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVS1UfCfxlU

Brick Meathook

Here’s another submarine story. I hope these don’t bore you.

This is the “noisemakers” story

One time we were being tracked by a Soviet destroyer (there was still a USSR during my tour) but that’s okay, that’s expected. That’s how it goes. We were locked on to them with our 48s (those are Mark 48 torpedoes with 1000 lb warheads), and they were locked on to us. That’s how the game went; nobody is shooting, nobody got hurt. We weren’t braver than them, we just had better equipment.

We tracked each other, but we always kept a healthy professional distance from each other so that nothing stupid happened.

But this one Soviet destroyer got a little too cute and was tracking us a little too close.

They were violating the unwritten rules of engagement.

Well we had a few tricks of our own.

So we fired off three “noise makers.” These were really primitive devices, just clockwork mechanisms that made noise. They might have been powered by rubber bands, I’m not sure. No guidance system, we just pointed them. There was absolutely no explosive charge in these devices, they were non-lethal, they were like big New Years Eve party favor handouts, but they were mini torpedoes.

But the noise they made coming out of the deep would scare the shit out of the sonar operators on the surface ships, and that Soviet turned around got the hell out of there.

Sharkbait

I’ve always wondered just how much shit goes on when adversaries are tracking and watching each other like that.

Brick Meathook

It’s all actually very professional, with a lot of mutual respect.

Last edited 3 years ago by Brick Meathook
Mr. Ayo

That seems better than war.

But the stories would be a LOT better with firing the 48s.

Brick Meathook

Our joke was that we were in the killing business, not in the getting killed business.

But really we were in the scaring business. Much more effective and more fun.

Mr. Ayo

Makes sense. I’d pee my pants if I thought a US sub was after me.

SonOfSpam

be worse if a US dom was after you

Sharkbait

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Gumbygirl

Scary enough going to sea on a boat that sinks, especially with a nuclear reactor strapped to your ass.

Sharkbait

That makes sense. I imagine the other sailors were in the same predicament. Just wanting to do their jobs and go the fuck home after deployment.

Brick Meathook

We wanted to meet them

Horatio Cornblower

Happy Germans. That’s never a bad sign for the rest of Europe.
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Horatio Cornblower

This is someone named Madison Beer. Would you like to see 33, 45, even 75 sexy pictures of her?
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Because by god I can get you some leads on how to do it!

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently she is a singer linked to Justin Beiber.

Cool.

Sharkbait

Theres an IPA joke in there somewhere

Gumbygirl

My mom was engaged to a guy whose last name was Beery. He died in one of the big naval battles in WWII. She met my dad years later, and married him when she was 31.

Horatio Cornblower

Good ol’ Tojo Beery.

Gumbygirl

Ha! I can’t remember his first name, but they called him Duke. She had a picture of him in his navy uniform, he was a tall good looking guy.

SonOfSpam

Naomi Osaka is melting the fuck down like a nuclear reactor that’s been hit by a tsunami in some other country.

Horatio Cornblower

The Yankees are tied at 2 with the fucking Orioles, so tell me about it.

Mr. Ayo

She’s not dead yet!

Mr. Ayo

Update, she’s being sacked as we speak.

Horatio Cornblower

Let’s keep Britain tidy, lads. Or lasses. I don’t judge.
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Anthony In TX

Looks like we’re doing a little bit of a beer-sexy thing tonight.
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Anthony In TX

Wait, did you say “beer-sexy?”
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Anthony In TX

Sure did. comment image

Horatio Cornblower

That’s total bullshit. I don’t see any kittens there, American or otherwise.

Anthony In TX

Last I checked, the kind of “kitten” she tends to display would be a bit of a rules violation ’round here

Last edited 3 years ago by Anthony In TX
Horatio Cornblower

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Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

smdh

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Mr. Ayo

lol

Brocky

It legit blew my mind when I realized she was the mom on modern family.

I had watched the entirety of boston legal in its run, but i hadn’t realized how long her career was

Horatio Cornblower

I’m sorry, what kind of beer now?
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Horatio Cornblower

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/first-vaginal-beer-bottled-instinct#/

“The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of an unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel.”

Look buddy I’m just looking to get drunk here, not get busted as an accessory after the fact. Just give me a Sierra Nevada and let’s pretend the rest of this conversation never happened.

Gumbygirl

Mmm, delicious yeast infection. And hoppy too!

Horatio Cornblower

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Old Milwaukee cans at their finest: empty.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

You are a bottomless pit of fail this evening. Well done!

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m not sure what’s going on. The addresses end in .jpg, which usually does it. Not tonight though.

Gumbygirl

Look at that Canadian can. Depuis 1934 indeed!

Gumbygirl

Here’s my guess, Balls: These people are fromunda. Down unda. Ozzies. Shrimps on the barbie. AUSTRALIAN?

Gumbygirl

Woot! Been awhile since I got one.

Horatio Cornblower

I have to believe Heineken sued the shit out of someone over this.
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Mr. Ayo

But stopped when they realized that was their assistant.

herodotus450

There’s an Alyson Hannigan sex tape, and no one told me?

Horatio Cornblower

I tried to find out more about the poster, and putting in Hannigan Beer Sexy does lead to some Alyson Hannigan mentions.

I didn’t follow them.

This time.
/ominous music plays in the background.

Game Time Decision

I’m off until the 13th. Have to move oldest to school so expect to be driving back and forth a few times for shit that was forgotten

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not really a fan of Corona as it is, but I’m definitely not drinking it now that she’s had her tongue all over it. How very middle-class.
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Game Time Decision

Wheres the lime?

Horatio Cornblower

You’re not getting the answer to that question without a ring, mister.

Mr. Ayo

That’s not a proper tongue bath. A tongue bath is around and in the hole.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes. That’s what I turned down her advances.

Anthony In TX

In the middle of a pandemic? No thank you, ma’am.

Horatio Cornblower

I would wager, (half of DFO gets an erection), that I post mostly beer pictures here, and I freely admit that I can’t keep up with Mr. Ayo, but here’s a combination of the two.
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This is what I think Blax’s haunted speakeasy would look like if it focused on beer and shattered hopes instead of mixed drinks and shattered hopes. You know, if it was a Giants bar.

Last edited 3 years ago by Horatio Cornblower
Mr. Ayo

Amateur hour around here.

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Horatio Cornblower

YOU, OK? I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!!!

Anthony In TX

I love this whole interaction so much

yeah right

I used to visit “Fork In Aussie Pies” in El Segundo off of Aviation but they didn’t survive the pandemic.

According to the Googles there’s an “Aussie Pies and Sausages” on San Pedro Street downtown. Might be worth a visit.

Horatio Cornblower

Roadkill kangaroo in pastry, who says no?

yeah right

De Nada.

Dunstan

Curtis Stone turned his restaurant Maude on Beverly Drive south of Wilshire into an Aussie meat pie joint. It’s good!

Dunstan
yeah right

I’m your Huckleberry.

Horatio Cornblower

I bought this beer without realizing it was a sour, (just going by the brewery, which is very good), and while I don’t like a lot of sours, this is not too bad, not too bad at all.
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TheRevanchist

I had a couple of sours the other weekend, and they were smooth. I really enjoyed that time at the outdoor bar.

scotchnaut

One of my fantasy leagues is taking on water fast-it’s an auction thingy and we’re down to six guys. Our scrubs are gonna be guys like Brady and Golladay-Jeebuz!

Mr. Ayo

Every week I think I’m not going to be mentioned in this post.

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Mr. Ayo

But apparently I can’t help myself.

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Mr. Ayo

It’s quite embarrassing at times.

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Mr. Ayo

Hopefully I’ll get over it at some point.

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Mr. Ayo

Then I’ll be more comfortable about the situation.

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Mr. Ayo

And then feel right in my own skin.

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Mr. Ayo

Also, race car!

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Anthony In TX

It’s got attractive curves. Definitely counts.

Mr. Ayo

Selfie!

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Gumbygirl

Squirrel!

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Mr. Ayo

She appears to be in GI distress.

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Mr. Ayo

Look, the no pants policy applies to all. Don’t pout.

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Mr. Ayo

Somebody ended their night early.

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Horatio Cornblower

Not seen, but just off-screen, Darren Sharper.

Mr. Ayo

If you’re ever cold, the best way to stay warm is with another naked human.

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