Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

So we made it past blue Monday. Yay

This is one of my top 5 songs all time. I play it whenever it shows up on the Sirius FM app. This CD was in my player for a year straight without coming out. Not sure why but cheers me up and doesn’t make me feel sad.

We gots some snow yesterday, somewhere around 20 cm ( about 8 inches [D Farve: God, please just once]). I’m not sure how much exactly as there are bare spots and then drifts that are four feet height. So spent two hours last evening digging out. The Mrs. tried to get to work but was told to take a snow day when almost to work, so she turned around and came home. The normal 40 minute round trip took 2 hours. She saw many a car suck on the road. Winter tires and four wheel drive for the win. I’m glad that she got home safe as I’m not sure that with the amount of snow that we got that I would have been able to make it to her to even help her get out, if she’d gotten stuck. Not sure why, but our part of the city always seems to be the last to get plowed (phrasing), so I expect that I’ll need to spend some of today digging out the windrow so that we can get out onto the street. Fun times. Extra fun times was pushing out the car this morning to get my lovely wife to work as the (idiot) neighbour across the street decided it would be a good idea to snowblow all their snow into a pile in the middle of the street. Fuck I’m turning into an angry old man. But seriously fuck them for not considering any of the other people on the street.

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

---

Open jobs:
Jacksonville
Las Vegas
Denver
Chicago
Minnesota
Miami
ballsofsteelandfury

If I was any of these teams I would be trying to get hold of Brian Flores immediately, if he does not get another head coaching job, there is something seriously wrong.
ArmedandHammered

Zimmer too. Although I would counsel Zimm to file arbitration for Kirk Cousins hazard pay / dumbfuck PTSD
Don T

---

Wow. What a garbage outfit.

Don T

Wow…that’s horseshit. Even from a Bills fan perspective. Dude overachieved with a rebuilding roster last year, and did not suck this year.
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Jebus, Flores was like master chef who took the contents of a frat kitchen and created a sumptuous 10 course meal. And he gets fired for it not being a 15 course meal.
ArmedandHammered

---

This is the worst race to 69 I’ve ever seen.
Mr. Ayo

You clearly didn’t watch the Houston 500.
litre_cola

I couldn’t see anything from the end of the line!
Mr. Ayo

So you and 499 other dudes… “nailed it?”
Col. Duke LaCross

---

“This is a grinder, isn’t it?”

“IT’S A SANDWICH!!!”
-The Maestro
Horatio Cornblower

---

Found a funny;

Embarrassing how proud I am of myself anytime I manage to put my phone down so I can, “focus on the tv”
rockingdog

---

I had no idea Bud Grant knew the Woodland Critters..

WCS

---

Per RTD’s comment on GTD’s thread about self awarding the banner, I don’t believe I have that level of digital authority/permission.

Also, me from 10 years ago thinks this sentence means I had a stroke and/or started writing science fiction.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m the same. I’d feel weird if I awarded myself the banner. I’ll let others decide when I’ve been funny enough to deserve it.
Sharkbait

Oh I would totally award myself the banner. I think I’m locked out of doing so.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

I love you magnificent bastards.

I just wish bgr would give me my underwear back.

---

Ooooh. I sh*t on a dead person tomorrow [ in Wednesday’s AEW open thread].

“CAN’T WAIT!”

-German DFO contingent
scotchnaut

---

Wife: [opening up the package containing new books I’ve bought] “These look like ones you’ve read before!”

Me: “Uh, maybe read the titles and not just look at the font.”

Wife: “Right, right…”

/she’s an incredibly smart woman but every once in a while…
scotchnaut

Hey these books have all the same words as the last one, albeit in a slightly different order. What a scam!”
herodotus450

---

If you expect the worst will happen, you can only be pleasantly surprised.

Hey, you stole that from my preview of this Saturday’s Bengals playoff game!
Redshirt

---

BIL reaction to the Judge news:

Sharkbait

---

Btw a big thanks to whomever put me on the banner, since everyone likely assumes I did it myself.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

First they ruin my middle initial, and now they ruin the leisure activity that I never actually do anymore? Those bastards! What next? If they ruin popcorn it’s the warpath
Doktor Zymm

Doktor Q? I love your BBC tv series!
Dunstan

---

In two hours time two trucks are headed north to offload to a few other trucks. The weather up there is estimated to be about -45 Celsius which is -49(!) in Farfegnugen. We’ll be lucky if one of our trucks starts tomorrow at 5am.
scotchnaut

What time do they pass each other?
Senor Weaselo

---

People!
How are ya?

I’m officially on lock down.
Just like me to join a fad 2 years too late.

Missives to come.

Goddamnit.
yeah right

Do you or Taj have any food allergies? Tossing some snaxx into your puzzle package
Doktor Zymm

Hell yeah I’m all about snacks.
yeah right

“How do you feel about a ‘gently used’ snack?”

-Balls
scotchnaut

---

Anyone staying up late to watch tonight’s Richmond-Melbourne women’s Aussie footy match?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only if every one of the girls lines up to kick Novak Djokovic in the balls.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, could that actually happen? Is there someone I can bribe or something to make that happen? Can we get a Make-a-wish kid on this? Can I pretend to be a make-a-wish kid with a disease that makes me look like a middle aged woman so I can kick him in the balls too?
Doktor Zymm

---

(@2pack)
January 14, 2022 10:43 am
You said stir right?
/ as he violently shakes it

2Pack

/Michael J. Fox, about to lose another bartending gig
Horatio Cornblower

Muhammad Ali would like this comment, but he can’t get the cursor to stay still long enough.
LemonJello

“Someone put a blanket over him, he’s obviously feeling very chilly.” – Joe Buck
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

When I was a teenager and this drunk I would look in the mirror and think I was totally hot. Nowadays, I look at my feet and am really happy about slippers. Both are good!
Doktor Zymm

---

So I think my wife has made it a permanent date when we take wee man to Ninja Gymnastics. Just walked by and asked me if I will once again be donning my classiest track pants to go to Wild Rose brewery.. The answer is yes, yes I will be.
litre_cola

---

Solid DFS advice. Loved the JP gifs. @WestwoodOne no more free ads you only get the one!
PaulyDunks

thought you’d appreciate the JP gifs, Burner. Speaking of which, remember when we actually saw a burner on the way home from JW?
borisnow

Oh I remember. That was crazy
PaulyDunks

Boris +1-ing his burner

Sharkbait

---

Redshirt

---

Senor: Let’s see how the Bengals Bengal this game.
Senor’s best friend: I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I believe in the Raiders’ ability to lose this game.
Senor: On one hand, yes, but on the other it’s not like they’re facing sobriety.
Senor Weaselo

---

IT’S ‘FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD‘, MATT, NOT THE BRAVE, AND THE GUY WHO SAID IT WAS ON HIS WAY TO POMPEII TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON AND HE DIED THERE!!!!
Horatio Cornblower

---

Spur

Can’t believe the NFL didn’t schedule this game for Manic Monday.
Dunstan

Whoa, whoa.
scotchnaut

Bangles: Known for “Eternal Flame”
Bengals: Known for being “Eternally Lame”
Dunstan

---

Can you imagine how much better this guy would be if his jersey said DON’T CHASE?|
makeitsnowondem

---

Thinking of hopping on the Bengals bandwagon now
Sharkbait

“May want to make sure it comes to a complete stop”
–Chris Henry
BrettFavresColonoscopy

---

If Buffalo gets the ball back do they put the scrubs in, or do they try to go 8-for-8?
Horatio Cornblower

I mean, eight IS great

Doktor Zymm

---

The Bills punter is enjoying the game from the locker room tv while wrapped in a fuzzy robe and slippers, sipping on a hot toddy
Doktor Zymm

---

Welp, at least we’re in double digits now. (Yeah, but nowhere near enough.)
Petronel

In binary you only have 2 points, but in hex you have 16!
Doktor Zymm

---

If this [Bills vs Pats game] gets any more one-sided Mike Lindell will have it arrested for treason.
Senor Weaselo

---

Beasley complaining he’s getting called for PI if he even breathes on the defender and the refs say “exactly, you anti-vax piece of shit.”
Horatio Cornblower

---

I haven’t seen Patriots get hit in the face like this since Ashli Babbitt.
Senor Weaselo

---

No YOU’RE melting down in the comments section because of your stupid fucking football team!!!
The Maestro

Sharkbait

---

Greetings, everyone. I would first like to extend a warm congratulations to Redshirt, and join everyone in wishing him a speedy recovery after the stroke he no doubt suffered after that roughing-the-passer call late in the 4th quarter of the earlier game. Second, I would like to assure everyone that I am not upset at the outcome of the game; I’m just proud of the Raiders for making lemonade out of a lemon of a season and going down swinging. Third, I would like to get started drinking, so I’ll be proceeding forthwith.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Hi, just got home. Did I miss anything?
Gumbygirl

You owe me $35 million. We bought a lair.
Horatio Cornblower

Nobody disturb me. I’m in the tower of solitude. Because I’m, uh, crying… in there.
The Maestro

---

My green velour tracksuit almost perfectly matches my green velvet couch! I can stalk my enemies in comfort!
Doktor Zymm

Doktor Zymm at home (artist’s conception):

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Australia to Novak Djokovic (artist’s conception):

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

[shambles into clubhouse using Raiders bandana to wipe away tears]
/but seriously, I’m at peace with things. The Raiders were playing with house money and spent enough time at the table that the odds finally caught up with them. The early whistle is a matter of whether you believe in following the law (replay the down) vs. justice (Bengals touchdown). Everyone knows what happened, despite the referees’ attempts to gaslight us. I’m not happy with the 1st down spike but without a receiver we can throw a fade to, the risks (penalty, sack, turnover) of running a no-huddle play arguably outweigh the trade of a down for a time out.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

@Redshirt in case you missed it in the Bills murder Patriots thread – congratulations on getting that monkey off your back. Oh, and congratulations on the hard-fought playoff win, too.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Reshirt is gonna wake up in a few days, in a Tijuana bungalow married to a stripper. Maybe two strippers.
King Hippo

(slowly drags feet into clubhouse, eyes closed, shirt backwards, wearing Mardi Gras beads holding an Ohio State Route 3 shield like a cape)

Three questions: (1) Does anyone have an aspirins?, (2) Where are my pants?, and (3) Whose pants do I have on?
Redshirt

[points at Clubhouse sign]
“Lose the pants, friend.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here