Your “DFO Super Bowl Hate Week” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Before I get started on tonight’s hate, I’d like to reflect back on last night’s. I talked a lot of shit about the NFL & racism, and felt that was justified.

Well, don’t I just feel like an asshole because, in a press release & press conference seemingly designed to torpedo my journalistic endeavours, Roger Goodell came out and announced he had solved racism. Or, at least, admitted that maybe – just maybe – they may have a little more work to do on the topic. On Saturday he tweeted out this,

and in no way was a response to the Brian Flores lawsuit that dropped on the first day of “Black History Month”. Then, his “State of the League” address on Wednesday afternoon touched on the need to “look at everything we’re doing today, reevaluate that, everything from looking at the Rooney Rule and what changes should be made with that, or should it be removed, as some people have suggested.”

My humblest of apologies, dear sir. I did not realize I was condemning a clearly penitent & sorrowful man.

Of course, when you ask for are forced to take questions after publishing such a letter & giving such a press conference, one shouldn’t be surprised that hard ones might get asked by people who aren’t your puppets or lackeys,

which is an excellent segue to tonight’s topic,

Media Whores

In what seems like a routine occurrence, at least one day of Hate Week each year seems to be dedicated to the rim job artists that populate the various sports departments at the NFL’s “broadcast partners”. There’s a reason that hashtags like, “Peter King Lives on his Knees” & “Shut up Mike Florio” exist in the [DFO] database. Most recently, in 2021, through the fog of war hydromorphone, I laid out why the NFL Network fluffers at “Good Morning Football” are the worst. (And since Nate Burleson left the show, they’ve not unexpectedly degraded.)

This year, in light of the recent Brian Flores case, I’ve decided to turn my attention to two of the league’s most egregious lickspittles – Adam Schefter and Ian Rapoport.

But honestly? They’re the same fucking guy. Both are excellent at what they “do”, which is produce reams of information about the NFL, most of which is glad-handing that serves to drown out the bad bits they – or, more likely, their colleagues – might be forced to report on. They are not expected to be the ones to unearth the scandal; they are the ones expected to minimize the scandal for their millions of followers.

———————————————-

Rapoport is clearly in the worse position, working for the NFL Network and NFL.com. He can’t afford to pull a Ken Rosenthal and criticize his commissioner the way Rosenthal went after Rob Manfred. Rosenthal was a respected journalist before he went to the MLB Network. All Schefter did before moving to 345 Park Avenue was cover the Patriots for three years from 2009-12. One bad word about Roger Goodell sends him back to covering Bill Belichick full-time.

*sighs* “Tommy from Quincy, hello!”

This is what necessitates his constant feeding of the machine. I counted – for the week of January 31 – February 4, he had an average of 25 tweets and 15 retweets per day. All of which are the type of hard-hitting pieces you’d expect from a man eager to keep his job.

The corporate synergy just drips from the screen.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t report the negative. Credibility demands he report the uncomfortable news,

but that doesn’t mean he has to be happy about it. And don’t expect any personal opinions on any topic! Where he does mention anything beyond the text of the message, it’s just stock comments or retweets from people far braver than him.

Every time something negative comes out,

he immediately follows up with covering fire, like a good soldier is supposed to. And the first second he could, it was right on to a change of topic. For example – the Flores lawsuit dropped the afternoon of February 1st,

so the good news the League wants people to know better come bright, early, and fast. 5:13AM? That’s barely more than twelve hours since the Flores suit dropped, and he’s making sure that the first thing most people see in the AM is a definitive change of topic. That’s some pretty good ball cupping by Rapoport. Mind you, he is kind of an expert in the area,

given that he was suspended for two weeks in 2020 for promoting “the perfect tool for your family jewels” without clearance from his bosses at NFL.com. Given that these exist,

I don’t think keeping your zone tight is all that bad a look. Indeed, given that he’s already a corporate shill, what was the greater crime – being a pitchman, or pitching a non-NFL sponsor?

Third place

———————————————-

Adam Schefter, meanwhile, has a little more latitude since he’s not a direct employee of the League, just one from one of their “broadcast partners”, albeit the one that usually gets the shittiest game of the week. He reports the news,

and provides most follow-up material on the topic.

But it doesn’t help when he blatantly helps Goodell carry the water,

The difference between opinion & observation can be razor-thin or canyon-esque.

At least by working for ESPN, Schefter tries to play both sides,

What doesn’t help his image was also being tied up in the release of Bruce Allen’s emails. Many of us heard the story – in 2011, he sent a rough version of a story he was working on the [Redacteds] GM Bruce Allen, allowing him to edit the piece to best tell the version of the story he wanted to get out. The general reaction? I’ll let Jimmy Traina of si.com spell it out:

I never considered Schefter some hardcore journalist who was doing investigative work. He mainly breaks news about signings, trades, hirings and firings. That’s not meant to be an insult. Schefter does it better than anyone in the NFL. But the news he breaks is mostly transactional. It has been obvious for decades that, he gets that information from agents and front-office people around the league.

No one denies that Schefter is neither Woodward nor Bernstein. My objection is that people still treat him like a competent journalist, instead of a walking, talking message board for information people want to get out. He gets scoops because people give him information they want released. People pick their nose harder than he digs for scoops. When people bring him in as an “NFL expert”, they should tell the people they are broadcasting this to just what kind of shill he is.

And who he hangs out with.

So no one should be surprised that neither of them had anything concrete to add to the discourse about the Flores lawsuit. It takes #Content to feed the machine, and these two need that in order to survive. It’s like if a shark stopped swimming it’ll die. Heaven forbid they actually take a stand on something. My God – even Peter King felt emboldened to take a run at the League:

When the “Wizard of Wichita” feels compelled to break from the narrative, you must really be in the wrong. I guess that’s why he’s no longer on “Sunday Night Football”. And while he might not have access to the same dining companions he once did,

he still has enough connections to make his job worthwhile.

Seriously – what is it with these guys and Barstool?!

If a man this spineless can suddenly grow a pair, what does that say about the integrity of Schefter & Rapoport that they dare not risk offending the League?

Oh, and in case you were wondering about Florio?

NFL media everyone – throw pudding at the wall, and see if Terry Bradshaw licks it off.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics: (CBC schedule)
    • Alpine Skiing:
      • Women’s Super G Final – 7:00PM
    • Cross Country Skiing
      • Men’s 15km Classic Final – 11:00PM
    • Hockey
      • Men’s Preliminary:
        • Denmark vs ROC – 8:10PM
        • Czech Republic vs Switzerland – 12:30AM
      • Women’s Quarterfinal:
        • USA vs. Czech Republic – 8:10PM
    • Curling:
      • Women’s Round Robin #3 – 10:00PM
  • NHL:
    • Hurricanes at Bruins – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
  • NBA: it was trade deadline day today, and a bunch of guys got moved
    • Nets at Wizards – 7:30PM | TNT
    • Raptors at Rockets – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Bucks at Suns – 10:00PM | TNT
  • NCAA:
    • Iowa at Maryland – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Purdue at Michigan – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Arizona at Washington State – 9:00PM | FS1
    • Stanford at Oregon – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona State at Washington – 11:00PM | FS1
  • NFL:
    • The NFL Honors – 9:00PM | ABC / TSN3
      • Hosted by Keegan-Michael Key

Before I conclude, I’d like to thank everyone for bearing with me. It was a tad presumptuous to request that I take over for the last four days, because there’s clearly enough hate to go around. But since Low Commander & I were part of the genesis behind “Hate Week”, I wanted to come back & contribute to the site in some small way I knew how. This week has also shown me that I made the right decision to step away, because I could barely keep up with this commitment. I don’t want to do more unless I can actually commit to that more, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss being here.

Enjoy the game Sunday, and I’ll see you around.

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Sharkbait

This Czechia goalie deserves better. She was a warrior.

TheRevanchist

I need to order the Dream Big shirt now.

Senor Weaselo

USA’s gotta cut down on the penalties. Sure, you might be able to get a shorty chance, but why do that when you can stay 5 on 5?

Mr. Ayo

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

scotchnaut

They always get chippy when they feel pressured. Now they’re up and will play relaxed the rest of the way.

Gumbygirl

Booooooo!Hissssssssss!

scotchnaut

“I’d like to dedicate this to all the smirking assholes out there-no matter what you believe! We’ve got to stick together!”

-Rodgers’ acceptance speech, probably

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Aaron Hernandez & Jay Cutler

2Pack

Thanks Beerguy, be well.

Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

Cue the Goofy “Yoooi-hoi-hoi-hoiii!”

Col. Duke LaCross

This game is getting rough.

scotchnaut

Czech women have a 5 minute power play. Hopefully their 0% scoring rate on the PP won’t come into play.

WCS

So, uh, despite my vasectomy five years ago, and her being on birth control, apparently, I went and knocked Princess.

My ass is literal toast.

Mr. Ayo

The Prince that was promised!

scotchnaut

Have you considered therapy? I know a guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ln9oxGf_cos&ab_channel=NickRewind

Gumbygirl

It’s the Immaculate Conception! Go Franco!

Sharkbait

“Damnit! I said I wanted to re-enact the Immaculate REception!”

–WCS

ballsofsteelandfury

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scotchnaut

HOLY SHIT!!! THE CZECH’S SCORED ON THEIR SECOND SHOT! They’re up 1-0.

scotchnaut

Shots on goal as of 16 min. left in the 2nd period

USA Women: 20

Czech Women: 0

Mr. Ayo

And the Czech’s are ahead. WTF.

scotchnaut

That didn’t last long. 1-1.

Mr. Ayo

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

scotchnaut

Oof! There’s a Canadian Tire ad that relies on the stereotype that Asian parents are never happy with their kid’s accomplishments and then flips it on its head in a stupid way. This will not age well-if it ages at all.

scotchnaut

The woman’s Czech goalie is standing on her head vs the Americans so far.

Sharkbait

Still less than pleased about having to cancel my New York trip in April. However my Vegas May trip is still tentatively on. That trip may end with me driving to LA for a few extra days. California DFO contingent, you’re officially on notice.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sweeeeet!

Sharkbait

We really need to buy that island and just forget the mainland

scotchnaut

Everyone knows that Mick Jagger is Justin’s real dad. Why are we wasting time with this shit?

Brick Meathook

I thought Mick Jagger was his father.

Gumbygirl

So fucking stupid. He looks exactly like Pierre. I don’t look that much like either of my paremts. Maybe Fidel is my daddy!

Brick Meathook

Yep. Exactly alike.

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Gumbygirl

You can’t really tell from those pictures, because Pierre’s tie is so offensive.

2Pack

And today in who the fuck cares…

King Hippo

There is probably an alternate universe where the Supersonics pull out the win, and Ice Cube never writes “Today Was a Good Day”

King Hippo

#BlairWitched

Sharkbait

I’m in a discord chat and we’re ruthless with reposting. We made a bot that throws a Mike Dean yellow card for reposting.

King Hippo

THAT’S GOOD PREM HUSTLE!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, i see Sharky beat me to this.

I’ll pour myself another scotch and move on.

Sharkbait

You’re welcome?

Redshirt

Based on the Kama Sutra, its a group effort.

Horatio Cornblower

Are you telling me an extraordinary Russian athlete was doping? Because that slander will not stand, comrade!

Redshirt

Putin is telling his media to say Ukraine said that.

Sharkbait

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King Hippo

In Soviet Russia, horse steroids take YOU!

Gumbygirl

If she gets disqualified, the US might get the team gold instead of the silver. Putin may invade New Jersey.

Redshirt

If the media is going to suck Aaron Rodgers this hard, I’d rather have Tom Brady back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is it too much to ask for Rodgers to die of covid and/or shitting himself to death post horse meds?

scotchnaut

Wifey is a verbalizer when she’s upset but a combo of events at her workplace has her deathly quiet/absolutely livid right now. I know she’s going scorched earth mode tomorrow and I pity those in her line of fire. It will not end well for them.

Horatio Cornblower

She was here with us the whole time

scotchnaut

Digging shallow graves on our property in February is a bitch. Damn blisters!

King Hippo

#NoHoboDaysOff

Gumbygirl

Get ’em girl!

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m reading ‘Our Band Could Be Your Life’, about indie bands in the 80’s, and it turns out all the bands I liked were full of assholes.

King Hippo

SUCH GOOD HATE

/got lost in finishing a book

Redshirt

All right, Whit!

Redshirt

This is a great speech by Andrew Whitworth. I almost want him to win this Sunday.

Almost.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s outstanding

King Hippo

I’ve no doubt that Bong Assembly will be in the 2024/26 games.

ballsofsteelandfury

VERY nice

scotchnaut

All of the judges gave him a “69” score? I’ve always wondered what the creative team behind, “Dude, Where’s My Car?” were doing these days.

Brick Meathook

I just realized that this years Superb Owl will be played on the same street I live on. Oh we both have different vanity mailing addresses but we’re on the same fucking street.

Horatio Cornblower

Someone get Don T, the Boricuans are on the skeleton track!

Horatio Cornblower

They, um, they did not win.

Horatio Cornblower

Puerto Rico did, however, beat the US Virgin Islands.

ballsofsteelandfury

LOVED the super slow mo shot showing her PR ass a’jigglin’.

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, how do you feel about Korean skeleton rider Kim Enuji’s run?

Me: (yawn) eh, whatever

Brick Meathook

Here’s an Italian bomber plane from WW2:

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ArmedandHammered

That plane looks scrunched up, like the bent the plane a bit, trying to push the engines onto the front.

scotchnaut

Looks like a tampon to me.

Horatio Cornblower

While I am sympathetic to Shiffrin having a bad Olympics, NBC’s shilling about how great her managing to get all the way to the bottom and into 8th place is just embarrassing.

ballsofsteelandfury

But she’s so BRAVE for not falling!

Can we give her a participation medal?

Horatio Cornblower

She’s legit the best women’s skier ever and maybe the best period. She doesn’t need their pandering.

ballsofsteelandfury

Does she use the Little Caesar’s maxi-pizza-pad for the period?

Horatio Cornblower

I mean, who wouldn’t?

Senor Weaselo

Without spoilers, I can say that the first 60 seconds or so of Defender vs. Riptide were absolutely wild, as was all of HyperShock vs. Lock-Jaw.

Don T

Assimilation or self-hatred? You make the call
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who did Harambe pick?

litre_cola

Violence

Sharkbait

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Dunstan

“Fucking tigers. You can’t trust them.” — Seigfried & Roy

Horatio Cornblower

Those two made millions fucking around, and they finally found out.

scotchnaut

The Italian woman in the skeleton (that’s the head-first luge event) only hit 121 kilometers per hour at the bottom of the course. It wasn’t nearly good enough and she has no chance to medal.

I’d just like to repeat that-she hit 121kph at the bottom of the course (75mph) and it’s not good enough to medal

Last edited 2 years ago by scotchnaut
ArmedandHammered

Yep, no matter how hard YOU work to accomplish a goal, it just isn’t enough to be praise worthy – all my ex’s at some point in the relationship

Horatio Cornblower

I recently read that those athletes and Lugers have symptoms consistent with the brain trauma boxers and football players get, from the way their heads gets bounced and tossed around going down the track.

Really sells the sport.

Brick Meathook

She probably wasn’t wearing her groin-pizza properly.

Don T

Florio is the dumbest and most attention-whoring of the three. He fucks up my chakras.

Horatio Cornblower

For me it’s Rappaport. When Bob Kraft’s wife died ol’ Ian was tweeting from *inside* the sanctuary about when Tom Brady arrived.

Just the worst. He gets run over by a garbage truck I will hand write a letter of thanks not only to the driver, but to each and every individual whose garbage contributed to the crushing weight going over Ian’s head.

Redshirt

Joe Burrow accepting Comeback Player of the Year:

“I’d also like to thank my offensive line; without them, I wouldn’t have gotten this award in the first place.”

scotchnaut

Gonna take both tomorrow and Monday off because Super Bowl. I also take the Thursday/Friday of Amerigo Thanksgiving weekend and those same days before Labor Day for fantasy drafting purposes. What I’m trying to say is that football dictates to a large degree the days that I spend away from work.

Doktor Zymm

I get Canada Day off this year!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have a terrible confession:

I’m going to be flying for the first half of the super bowl.

Gumbygirl

Hooboy!

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m going to a ski jump competition, and may miss most of it. Hang with my Dad and brother, drink beer, eat wings, and watch lunatics soar 300’ on skis for my amusement, or watch a football game I have no vested interest in?

Not a hard call, honestly.

Brocky

Watching the NFL honors stuff on delay…

Goodell singing…. surpringly wholesome?

Doktor Zymm

I can’t believe I missed it, yesterday was Lawyer Cat Day! Happy Lawyer Cat day everyone!

litre_cola

If Hippo is awake he has 2 lawyer cats I think. Apparently one is knighted.

herodotus450

LA arena just got renamed after Bitcoin or something, compare that with the Colorado arena which is apparently named/sponsored by the Ball Mason Jar company.

Gumbygirl

I thought having Cryp in the name might cause a gang war.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The announcer in the snowboard halfpipe is letting the judges have it like Andre Johnson served it up to Courtland Finnegan.

Gumbygirl

He will never get NFL access.

BugEyedBoo

Snowboarder went off on his last run, so go him!

Horatio Cornblower

And apparently the US judge was the villain. Guessing he had a grandfather on the Arizona.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know Roger Goodell proofread that statement and said to himself “yeah that and Lovie will fix everything. I’m good for another $40M.”

And somehow he’s not fucking wrong.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh. The snowboard announcer just uttered the words “Scotty doesn’t…”

Doktor Zymm

Who sees it?
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scotchnaut

“It’s an Italian bomber plane from WW2, what else could it be?”

-Brick Meathook

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Brick Meathook

It’s an Italian bomber plane from WW2, what else could it be?

herodotus450

Kinda looks like a super bowl logo

SonOfSpam

The misspelling or something more disturbing?

Doktor Zymm

The misspelling is intentional, which is disturbing in and of itself

Mr. Ayo

Neat sandwich

Dunstan

Now I can’t unsee it.

Gumbygirl

Ok, I’ll be the moron. What are we supposed to be seeing in this?

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Mr. Ayo

I’ve identified the tampon fan.

Gumbygirl

Oh hell yeah. Maxipads are like mini diapers. Fuck that.

Doktor Zymm

Winged maxi-pad. It wasn’t the first thing I thought of, but I see it more than I see batman

Gumbygirl

Yeah, now I see it.

Dunstan

“I am the night! I am VENGEANCE! Uh… and the confidence to go about your daily routine feeling fresh!”

BugEyedBoo

Gives new meaning to “Get your wings at Little Caesars!”

Last edited 2 years ago by BugEyedBoo
Col. Duke LaCross

Eve Muirhead is not unattractive.

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litre_cola

HOLLLEEEYYYY FUCKKKK Tony Khan wants to get elected? There is no fucking way he could run Fulham if he is doing that.

Doktor Zymm

In astrological terms, this Owl is a match between Aries of the Western Zodiac, and Cetus, which contains the Western White Tiger, one of the Four Symbols in Chinese Constellations (being both East and West, it’s kinda Mid-West)

SonOfSpam

GO ARIES

Gumbygirl

Are you starting to freak yet?

Col. Duke LaCross

Ugh, my six-swab winning streak came to an end yesterday. The Nineteen finally got me.

Doktor Zymm

Another one bites the dust! I’m still going strong, if only by ignorance. I’ve been saving my last home test, but will probably use it early next week before I go for my travel PCR next Wednesday

litre_cola

Can nae believe that I escaped it when Mrs. Cola got it.

Col. Duke LaCross

It was weird. Had what I though was a cold last weekend, took a home test. Negative, went to work Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night, the future Duchess LaCross took another home test that popped positive. So we both went and got PCRs yesterday. I got my positive result last night and had to call off work until next week.

Hers came back negative. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.

Gumbygirl

Are you feeling ok? Hopefully it’s just a mild annoyance.

Col. Duke LaCross

Yeah, nothing major. Just been binging Olympics all day. Probably should’ve been doing yard work. It was 50* here in Salt Lake today. I can’t tell if I’m fatigued or bored.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Take care of yourself! We don’t want WCS to be the only one with a claim to royalty around here.

Last edited 2 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

I don’t mean to brag, but I am also a princess. And a ballerina.

King Hippo

ESKIMO BRUTHA EVEN BY A DIFFERENT VARIANT IT TOTES COUNTS!!!

Col. Duke LaCross

“Two guys fishin’ from the same hole cuz!”

Col. Duke LaCross

Madeleine DuPont. Sweet Jeezus.

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scotchnaut

I’d love for her to draw to my button, ifyouknowwhatImean.

rockingdog

Found a funny;

My Tesla got hacked and is doing donuts in my yard, and I can’t get in because the handles have frozen over. It is blaring La Bamba at 3am and the tires have started to melt. To be clear, this is my fault. I have no issue with Tesla.

Col. Duke LaCross

That whole thread yesterday was hilarious.

rockingdog

Good job!
That was Rocking!!!

Redshirt

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2022/02/10/adidas-ad-bare-breasts-sports-bras/6734868001/

Idiocracy is coming true.

News story SFW. Adidas tweet NSFW.

Last edited 2 years ago by Redshirt
Gumbygirl

It might have made sense if they made recommendations: “Ms. Choksondik needs our Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder Model 44c.” But no, just random boob shots, with zero context.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, thirdlove makes actual recommendations with stylized breast-shaped line art in a quiz. This just seems like a major brand trying to be edgy