Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.  

With last week being our pre Superb Owl “hate Week” BGR stepped up and brought us some great hate.  So, this kinda makes some of the comments from last week a bit meaner, but meh, if you’re still reading here, you knew it was coming.  There were a few platforms for office, which I would have a hard time picking between the two.  Didn’t expect DFO to go political that way.

Don’t got much else for ya today, I blame the Superb Owl hangover, though I didn’t drink much.  lol

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts. Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.  

---

Sharkbait

---

It’s a two zamboni night.
Gumbygirl

(Hippo shakes out 2 Xanax)

Don’t mind if I do!
Horatio Cornblower

---

Right on!!

Although to be fair, the team they beat was all girls.

Brick Meathook

---

Pretty much all of the winter Olympics is being really good at falling down
Doktor Zymm

---

NBC coverage sucks balls. They’re completely missing the G Spot runs!
ballsofsteelandfury

I always hoped to work an Olympics in a broadcasting role. I think that door is closed now, but based on the 2018 successful and 2020 attempted cyber attacks during the opening ceremony, I may still go to one yet.

I wonder why the 2022 Opening Ceremony was free of an attack…
Sharkbait

DFOCON 2028 at the LA Summer Olympics?

Any of us still alive better be there.
SonOfSpam

---

Men’s Super G Spot event!
ballsofsteelandfury

That event is a myth!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Oooh, Riveted: The History of Jeans premiered today on PBS! Imma go watch
Doktor Zymm

---

Trying to find a stream of the Beanpot for Mrs. Sharkbait (Go NU!) but small local NCAA hockey tournaments are apparently not popular with random streaming sites
Sharkbait

You should probably look for a frozen stream site.
scotchnaut

---

I wholly endorse the Anti-Mime agenda.

WCS

---

NO WONDER HIS GIRL CAN AFFORD A NEW RESIDENCE!

Gumby, the classic green clay figure, has been acquired by Fox https://t.co/V5mBAvXNfX

— Deadline Hollywood (@DEADLINE) February 8, 2022

SonOfSpam

This Gumby is an imposter! Gumby and I would never have anything to do with Fox!
Gumbygirl

---

John Kasich: “Trump is like the Big Bad Wolf. He huffs and puffs but never really blows anyone’s houses down.”

One, its reasoning like this that got Trump elected in 2016.

Two, the Big Bad Wolf literally blew down two houses.
Redshirt

GOP: “If you elect Obama, he’ll turn the country into a socialist dictatorship!”
Obama: gets elected, does not do so
GOP: “Hmm. Well. Nevertheless, if you re-elect him to a second term, then it’ll happen!”
Obama: gets re-elected, does not do so
Trump: “I will not commit to respecting the results of the election if I lose!”
GOP: “Oh, he doesn’t mean it.”
Trump: loses, incites an insurrection
GOP: “Oh, he’s all talk.”
Trump: “If I win in 2024, I’m totally going to imprison my enemies.”
GOP: “Oh, what a character! Now, back to talking about how Joe Biden is destroying America….”
Dunstan

---

THIS LADY MIKAELA SHIFFRIN I CALL HER MYSELF DURING A THREESOME CAUSE AFTER LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS OF ACTION SHE WAS SITTING WAY TO THE SIDE, LOOKING SAD.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

I was a little concerned when I saw Nathan Chen’s costume- kind of redshirt star trek! But, he was awesome. That’s a gold medal!
Gumbygirl

THIS GUY NATHAN CHEN I CALL HIM REDSHIRT CAUSE WONDERFUL THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING FOR HIM SO FAR IN 2022.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

THESE RUSSIAN ATHLETES I CALL THEM ELI MANNING BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL ABOUT THE JUICE.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

---

Redshirt

---

Found a funny;

starbucks cashier: can i get a name for the order?

Ben: it’s Ben

everybody in the damn starbucks: ONE WEEK since you looked at me
rockingdog

---

I haven’t read the book but as far as ‘catching a break’ and having your entire life changed is concerned, I always think about John Starks. He was essentially a nobody that was invited to the Knicks tryout camp back in the day. During the last scrimmage-knowing he was going to be cut the next morning-he tried to dunk on Ewing so he could have a story to tell.

He ended up screwing up his ankle when he got blocked and the rules at the time prevented teams from cutting/paying out injured players and moving on. He stuck around and eventually played 13(?) years in the league.

That’s the razor-thin margin of opportunity that black athletes deal with.
scotchnaut

---

“I didn’t think this was possible, but I’ve lost my appetite.” — Andy Reid [ after reading the “Healing power of death” post]

“Oh, wait, it’s back now.”
Dunstan

---

So, uh, despite my vasectomy five years ago, and her being on birth control, apparently, I went and knocked Princess.

My ass is literal toast.
WCS

It’s the Immaculate Conception! Go Franco!
Gumbygirl

“Damnit! I said I wanted to re-enact the Immaculate REception!”

–WCS
Sharkbait

---

Wifey is a verbalizer when she’s upset but a combo of events at her workplace has her deathly quiet/absolutely livid right now. I know she’s going scorched earth mode tomorrow and I pity those in her line of fire. It will not end well for them.
scotchnaut

She was here with us the whole time
Horatio Cornblower

---

Assimilation or self-hatred? You make the call

Don T

“Fucking tigers. You can’t trust them.” — Seigfried & Roy
Dunstan

---

The Italian woman in the skeleton (that’s the head-first luge event) only hit 121 kilometers per hour at the bottom of the course. It wasn’t nearly good enough and she has no chance to medal.

I’d just like to repeat that-she hit 121kph at the bottom of the course (75mph) and it’s not good enough to medal
scotchnaut

---

Joe Burrow accepting Comeback Player of the Year:

“I’d also like to thank my offensive line; without them, I wouldn’t have gotten this award in the first place.”
Redshirt

---

Who sees it?

Doktor Zymm

“It’s an Italian bomber plane from WW2, what else could it be?”

-Brick Meathook
scotchnaut

---

Ugh, my six-swab winning streak came to an end yesterday. The Nineteen finally got me.
Col. Duke LaCross

Are you feeling ok? Hopefully it’s just a mild annoyance.
Gumbygirl

Yeah, nothing major. Just been binging Olympics all day. Probably should’ve been doing yard work. It was 50* here in Salt Lake today. I can’t tell if I’m fatigued or bored.
Col. Duke LaCross

Take care of yourself! We don’t want WCS to be the only one with a claim to royalty around here.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t mean to brag, but I am also a princess. And a ballerina.
Gumbygirl

---

Grew up in Tampa and drafted by Winnipeg?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!

That guy’s gonna die
Horatio Cornblower

---

Don’t see how Canada can lose, wearing their traditional colours of red and, um, ah, er, black…
scotchnaut

O CANADA
OUR COLORS INCLUDE BLACK
WE PROUDLY SING
OF BACON THAT IS BACK
SonOfSpam

Tell me more of this bacon…
Horatio Cornblower

WE HAVE LOTS OF TREES, AND SOME GEDDY LEES
SO OUR MUSIC IS OKAY
WITH OUR SYRUP THICK, LOOK! A HOCKET STICK
WE;RE PRETTY AWESOME, EH?

WE PROUDLY STAND
DENIM’D AND WHITE
O CANADA
LET’S DRINK SOME BEER, ALRIGHT?
O CANADA
LET’S DRINK SOME BEER, ALRIGHT?
SonOfSpam

---

“Another Winter Olympics goes by without a road [car horn noise] hockey competition. Goddamn it, Mr. Fenstrom! I told you we were making an important announcement today!!!” [moves podium and microphones to the side of the street to let car go by]

-Rocky Moosehead, President of the International Road Hockey Alliance
scotchnaut

---

If this thread [Sexy Friday with many links to 80’s videos] gets any more 80’s-early 90’s we’re going to find it jerking off in a closet with a belt around its neck.
Horatio Cornblower

---

Just had a Bulgogi Beef Pizza (delish), glass of wine, watching trash tv with the Mrs. Wee man has head phones on and earlier he said that they we going to do crafts. I ask her what they were going to do? He didn’t hear me but she looked at me like she would cut me if I mentioned it again. I poured her more wine.
litre_cola

---

Found a funny;

Made a joke about Al Gore inventing the internet in class today and I thought the joke fell flat until a girl spoke up 5 minutes later and asked if that’s why they call it an algorithm
rockingdog

---

Good day, dear fellows! I have just returned from a mission to South West Africa, where I was able to secure a tidy sum of money in return for letting Royal Dutch Shell move their oil through Walvis Bay. The Dutch can be so reasonable when they have no choice!

I was delighted to see that the King’s African Water Pistols were able to conquer their Wolven foe this week despite being undermanned — just as the Argentines learned during the Falklands War, you cannot underestimate an undermanned force if that force is British! Should the Water Pistols find their way into the top four at the conclusion of the campaign, I will be forced to restore their former name!

Like many of you, I will be spending my time out on the veld keeping an eye out for some Superb Owls tomorrow. Despite their foe’s apparent superiority, I will be favouring the Bengali Tygers of Cincinnatus, as I have met many vicious tygers here in Rhodesia. I should hope that this contest is as entertaining as this Everton match is at the moment!
Cecil Rhodes

---

So the illustrioUs BallsofSteel sent me a present for my now beloved Yam FC Puebla.

litre_cola

---

Official Redshirt Prediction (mostly because I don’t want to type this tomorrow on an iPhone)

In order of probability (lowest to highest):

Bengals win in a blowout (10% chance): They have shown they can keep one foot on the gas and the other on the other team’s throat when they are ahead. If they can keep Stafford off balanced and the running game shut down, it could allow Burrow and the offense to keep putting points on the board until its out of reach.

Rams in in a blowout (30% chance): Strength vs. Weakness. Rams DL vs. Bengals OL. The key to the Bengals offense is Burrow. If you can keep hitting him, those hits will add up. Also, the Rams do have great WRs who have a chance to score on any play. Also, the Rams play in home, in an non-A/C dome and in the Southern California heat. The Bengals are used to playing in the cold and they had less than a week to get used to the climate. Conditioning could come into play.

Rams win in a close game (25% chance): The Rams weakness is their running game. Its good and serviceable, but its not something that can carry the offense if the passing game’s not working. Not to mention the Bengals defense, while not as good as the Rams, is capable of showing up when needed. Also, this Bengals just doesn’t know when to quit. Even when behind, they’ll keep fighting until the final whistle.

Bengals win in a close game (35% chance): All three Bengals playoff games went down to the final play (if you don’t count a kneel down in the Raiders game). Whether its determination, skill or luck, this team somehow wills itself over the finish line. Whatever is needed; a key turnover, a clutch pass, a breakaway run or a last second kick, this team isn’t afraid of doing what is needed to win.

Like I said two weeks ago, the Bengals are a year early. If they lose, I’ll be happy I got to enjoy the ride and dream of what the next few years could bring. If they win, I’ll be proud and ecstatic at the thought of if they can improve and turn this one-night stand into a nice little run.

Either way, it looks like we’re in for a nice game tomorrow.
Redshirt

---

Bengals by 4. I interview with the Rams and they lowball me by 90k.
Doktor Zymm

Rams spent a lot on Jalen Ramsey, less money for you. Priorities.
SonOfSpam

I would take 90k less than Jalen Ramsey’s contract
Doktor Zymm

---

This ice-dancing lady, Victoria Sinitsina is quite fetching.
Col. Duke LaCross

Someday, I will read the word “fetching” as “fetching” and not “felching” but today is not that day.
SonOfSpam

---

My prediction? Pain.

And drinking. Drinkin’ and pain.

HTFYDB!!! GOING BUNGLES BECAUSE IF THEY WIN, THE RAIDERS LOST TO THE CHAMPS AND I CAN SAY WE TECHNICALLY FINISHED 2ND.

Anyway glad to see you all up in hurr. Porky’s healthy and happy and ready for some FOOSBALL.
Porky Prime

---

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

NOTE banner image from here