*Featured Photo Credit From Here
Brace yourselves, but the year is halfway over. That’s right, tomorrow is July, the beginning of a four day weekend for Scotchy and Horatio, the start of a regular work weekend for Archduke LaCross, and a countdown to Independence Day festivities for most of us working stiffs south of Ontario.
I, for one, intend to spend the holiday weekend rejecting the reality that it’s already July, and also grilling and probably working a bit. And of course, nursing my fucked up and deteriorating body while I count down the days of my self imposed 30-ish days of abstaining from booze.
In NFL land, it’s pretty quiet, except for another round of disciplinary hearings for TheShaun, which might explain the timing of Goodell’s announcement with Ice Cube today on a partnership between the NFL and the Contract with Black America. I’m sure it’s a purely well-intentioned move on behalf of the League and not a craven play to paper over the deep problems plaguing the NFL, especially on race.
I hope this is the entirety of any subsequent press conferences with Ice Cub and Goodell. Bonus points if they have an event in a Korean Church.
If you REALLY want to be patriotic this weekend, call your local elected officials and tell them they need to fight for democracy and a woman’s right to choose. Make some damn noise because everyone is too damn complacent given how messed up everything is (thanks, Mitch McConnell and the rest of the evildoers in the GOP!). My vote doesn’t matter (and neither do the Canadiens’) so the rest of you need to pick up the slack or we’re all fucked.
What’s On TV Tonight?
BC Liouns at Ottawa Redblaucks, 6:30PM DFO Time, ESPN2
Padres at Doyers, 9:10PM DFO Time, FSN
Honestly, tons of other games on but check your local/regional listings
Fútbol (but MLS if that counts)
Charlotte v Austin, 6pm DFO Time, ESPN+
NY v Atlanta, 7pm DFO Time, ESPN+
Carlton v St Kilda, 4:50AM DFO Time, WatchAFL App
That should do it (well over the minimum wordcount, thank you very much). If you want to continue the theme from yesterday and keep talking about your weekend plans, have at it. Regardless, here’s a trip down memory lane with some insane 4th of July PSAs the DFO crew wrote 5 years ago:
Enjoy, and Happy Commenting!
I had some pesos leftover from last time I was in Mexico. Checking current exchange rates I have $3
That’s wishing fountain money
Cuántos pesos tienes?
Tres dolares americano
Ah, so you have about… (checks exchange rate, does math) 214,676 pesos.
Gate change and delay, but I have a 3 hour buffer between arrival and meeting my guide in MEX so it’s all good. Imma sleep so hard once we board, might not even get a drink
Alright, we’re digging into the new season of Stranger Things, fuck it.
I very much enjoyed it.
TEENS IN DANGER? WHY THAT’S RIGHT UP MY BASEMENT I MEAN ALLEY
I finally watched Don’t Look Up tonight. I enjoyed it immensely.
Yes, good and funny movie. Of course it was obvious. It has to be at this point. But at the very least it was funny.
A bit too much religion for me but aight
I’m waiting for the sequel, “Don’t look up and to the left”
I think Streep and Hill must’ve had some serious fun doing that…
I have tomorrow off, and am kicking off the weekend right now! I’m on my way to SFO for my first flight of the weekend, to Mexico City. I will spend the day there, then fly to Copenhagen via CDG and the La Premiere lounge, then overnight and fly to Dubrovnik via Helsinki. Another overnight, then Turkish Air to LAX via Istanbul. I should be landing in LAX around 5 pm on the 4th, so anyone in the SoCal crew doing anything fun that night?
Got a 6am flight on Tuesday back to SFO to end my crazy weekend by heading to work, lol
Small world! We just played SJK Helsinki as a “friendly” tuneup prior to 2155 Shempions Final (against Porto).
Crashed out of FA Cup, otherwise would have had 2 weeks in between matches.
That sounds… exhausting, actually?
All the long haul flights have lie flats and i have hotels for the overnights, but yeah, it’ll still be exhausting just from the time changes. Lotta good food and booze though, and lovely places to walk around
Hey, if you can do it, more power to you. I think even 20-year-old me would have struggled!
Just how much cocaine does it take to keep one going after that?
A Don Trump Jr hour’s worth.
In other words, A LOT.
Do you have time for a meal in Copenhagen? If not for a fancy one, there’s a ramen joint called Slurp run by a former Michelin star chef who was sick of the bullshit in high end restaurants and just wanted to make amazing ramen.
Ooh! I will check that out! I’ve been in Copenhagen a few times in the past year because they were on of the easiest countries as far as free testing and covid passports last year, so they were a safe country to book in and out of
I went to a place called Slurp in Laguna Beach but not for ramen.
What is that, six flights? Throw in a swim in the ocean and you’ve got my worst nightmare.
Sfo-Mex, Mex-Cdg, Cdg-Cph, Cph-Hel, Hel-Dbv, Dbv-Ist, Ist-Lax, Lax-Sfo. So 9 I guess.
Weirdest. Bingo. Card. Ever.
“Could be weirder. How about BNA to OSL, BON to HRE, ORD to PRG, and back?” -Carmen S., whereabouts unknown
She’s a good seatmate! @lways has the most interesting carry on luggage
My vote doesn’t count for much either since I’m in blue as all Massachusetts. Except we keep electing Republican governors for some dumb reason.
As to plans? I’ve been in Maine since last Friday for a wedding/vacation and with be back Sunday, but off through Wednesday.
Maryland does the blue state/red governor thing too. I will enjoy watching Hogan fail miserably in his presidential bid
Hippo and I were wrong when guessing where these folk are from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjpgJjdk52c
Kansas?
Wichita
MAYBE
I love them a lot. Unabashedly.
Protip for all you parents out there: If your child gets straight A’s but it is at the expense of them not doing any extracurricular activities, making a them having the personality of a wet blanket, they aren’t going to get into THAT private school, or the University that you want.
I’m currently teaching a night class for 12 year olds and it’s actually sad to see how little of a personality many of them have. They aren’t going to do well when they interview to get into a fancy private highschool.
I hope each and every one of those kids disappoint the parents throughly and embarrassingly, but end up happy.
Hughes H-1 Racer engine nacelle
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/deshaun-watson-suspension-decision-qbs-disciplinary-hearing-with-nfl-concludes-two-outcomes-on-the-table/
“Held to the same standards as Kraft and Jones”?! Watson’s gonna walk.
If he’s held to the same standards of Kraft and Jones he’ll end up as the owner of the Browns.
That almost seems too mean, even FOAR a creep-ass creeper like TheShaun.
I’m sure the Supreme Court will have the ultimate say over just who owns “the browns”
“What’s wrong with getting the same shakes as me?”
–Robert Kraft, standing naked at a Parkinson’s clinic
He can afford the same kind of lawyers. If they can’t paint him as just another “active-penised, massage-induced automaton individual” he deserves his fate.
You know, I really did pick the worst time to not be drinking.
Just change to a different calendar! I mean the Ukes have their Jesus day in Jan? Maybe the Ethiopian calendar suits your fancy.
USC and UCLA both put out press releases making it official. Wow!
Cowards too afraid to face Arizona on the reg.
Well sure, coyotes can smell the blood (assuming you meant on the rag)
Maybe I had too much THC, but we just take all of the larger schools and set them into an upper tier (of the TV money share) and a lower tier, sort of like the footie leagues with relegation also being implemented. Rank in tier determined by season record, end of the regular season top 6 of each tier are seeded in playoffs, after championship game, playoff teams are now tier 1 and ranked as result of playoffs.
Oh and there would be no other conferences, all teams in basically the same conference. Oh,and for all that tradition and conference flavor, none of that shit matters since these damn schools started conference hopping.
This is a great idea.
Heh, too much THC, that just means sleep.
Buleeve me, I am very close to falling asleep, but macadamia white chocolate cookies doing they best to keep me awake.
Hey, Canada, get ready for an invasion of stupidity
https://twitter.com/patriottakes/status/1542639783230537729?t=A79o2jMwieF03c3EUWRGVA&s=19
Can we just take the abortion tourists please?
Sourry, México is gonna undercut you on price. And then undercut the abortion.
Do it. We’ve already lost to Canada once in the War of 1812.
Lauren Boebert (known among the Republican higherups as Sarah Palin 2.0*) is a keeper.
*”I’d really like to rape her but she has a national profile so I’ll just stick to the interns
Is that Kato Kaelin?
They partnered with Ice Cube? Would Roger Goodell repeat the lyrics of any of his songs?
To his children, to the public? And that’s the example he wants to set. Glorifying guns, drugs, the mistreatment of women (sorry, tricks and hos) and murder? Good play.
Goodell is a tool of the owners-if it was up to him, Ice Cube would be suspended for 8 games and would never be allowed to clean his pool again.
Could have ended the sentence after four words.
/watching the BC/Ottawa pre-game show
Totally ‘roided up’ Santa Claus is doing a great impression of Matt Dunigan.
So he’s drunk off his ass at halftime?
Waay back in the day I worked out at the same gym as him. He indeed was a roid freak and bought his missus boobs for their anniversary. Nothing like saying, “Babe, you aren’t good enough, but I will fix you.”
I like Dunigan though. Him, Milt, and Schultz were better than any crew in any sport.
He had a traveling BBQ food show a few years back and he was ridiculously jacked. Compensating for something (real or imagined) for sure.
Normally I would expect that phrase to be uttered by a woman.
Youngest Kidling Update: He worked an eleven hour shift into last night, stayed up all night and jumped on a truck at 5am and literally lifted/delivered at least a ton of product today. He’s been awake for about 36 hours straight so far. My meth side-hustle is paying really big dividends right now.
Also this needs to be shared
https://twitter.com/shirtsthtgohard/status/1542249326864482304?s=20&t=A-kvSXl2NigyhvR_RwQkMw
It’s true.
So true-fucking books is amazing. I highly recommend “The Scarlet Letter”-as far as “Blood Meridian” is concerned, no thanks.
Wife is the other way around, but I will take fucking as #2. (Don’t tell BC Dick)
I will murder so good and sell your bottled blood as off-brand walmart wine.
At least Kirkland.
RC blend. Nothing better.
Your bones I will grind into dust and your flesh I will mash into catsup.
Kidding, of course. But to be serious, say anything like that again and I’ll pull your kidneys out through your asshole.
UPDATE: After 4 hours waiting at “urgent” care, confirmed I tore my calf but NAWT all the way down to my Marino tendon. Howeva, they’re putting me on crutches.
Fuck.
I’ve got a knee surgery coming up at some point. What say you come up here and we’ll do a “Two For One Special”?*
*which is totally a thing in countries that have dirty Socialist healthcare, as far as you know
Holy shit dude! Hope it heals quick!
If history is any guide, I think your Marino tendon is only going to the Super Bowl once.
I just discovered that there are free versions of the AI text generators that create images based on your input which then crawls the web and renders a picture. The results are mostly nightmare fuel.
BEHOLD, Boltman eating a fish taco:
More like a Freddy Kruger-Hannibal Lector mashup, but still…
/femur drums begin rolling in the distance
JV foobawl just went nuclear.
We’re at 18 right now.
I look forward to them changing the name to the Collegiate Football League, or CFL.
I’m getting “Vince losing to the World Wildlife Fund” vibes here.
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