Remember that old SNL sketch “Fecal Matter with your Host, Doug Fecal”? No? Yeah I figured it was just me. It was a solid (heh) talk show format with a specialized host and topic. Well, we ain’t exactly doing Pod Flies Open around here, but what about in written form, maybe say like a mix between Doug Fecal, Jack Handey, Balls’ 25 questions, Rev’s take on Larry King, and I don’t know, my own fucked up mind? With that backdrop I present to you the third edition of a potentially recurring irregularly scheduled Random Thoughts with BFC!  Now also in open thread form! If you want to make this interactive, drop a note/question/bon mot in the comments ala my old Mouth Flies Open attempt at an advice column.

• Were you expecting DonT tonight? Too bad!  Gotta keep you on your toes around here.
• As you may have heard, this past weekend was DFOCon East: Baltimore Boogaloo, and it was more fun than a bunch of dickjoking bloggers should be allowed to have.  Big thanks to DFO SoCal Rep Brick Meathook for being my DD to and from DC Saturday and the group photographer all Saturday long. I feel like I need another 32 days off of drinking after those shenanigans but alas, I’ll forge ahead with courage.
• Oh, and thanks to DFOCon East: Revenge of the Crabs (yeah, that’s a better title) I believe I’ve now met at least a dozen DFOers in person. Guess you’re not-so-imaginary anymore.
• I know intellectually that July means we’re more than halfway through the year (and when you factor in Thanksgiving and Christmas, even more so), but it does NOT feel that way.  Ever. Especially not this year. Good thing it’s almost August, I guess.
• Want to help turn this country around?  Take a page from RTD and put a parental lock on Fox News in every hotel room or other public tv you can. The default code is usually 0000 and then you can take it from there.
• The most recent round of hand wringing about kids these days not knowing who Metallica and Kate Bush were prior to Stranger Things is just perfect. Is it a shame I learned about Alice Cooper from Wayne and Garth?  No, it was a fucking mitzvah!
• ICYMI this is legitimately hilarious:

#Giants QB Daniel Jones has joined the likes of Deion Sanders and Bo Jackson as he is now a multi-sport professional athlete at the same time.

Jones has fetched himself a 3-year-deal with the American Cornhole League after chewing up the minor leagues all summer. pic.twitter.com/NWH7P6Iu7x

— Hank The Stank  (@stankthehank) July 12, 2022

• Have you noticed that at some point references to KY Jelly gave way to just saying lube? I think that’s a win, but I’m sure the KY people are pissed they aren’t the Kleenex of intimacy assists.
• Is this format working for folks?  Should I ditch this as a recurring feature?
• A friend and neighbor wants to do an Archer season premiere watch party, but neither of us has cable/whatever. Will it be “debuting” on Hulu?  Something else?
• I didn’t take as many pictures as Brick during DFOCon East, but the trip he, Sharky, and I took to Fort McHenry was pretty sweet so here’s a photo:

• Nothing like the phrase “heat apocalypse” to get the juices flowing.  Those juices being sweat. Stay cool, homies.
• Alright, that’s enough with the random thoughts (and to make you really miss DonT).  Nos vemos pronto.

What’s On TV Tonight?

Béisbol

HOME RUN DERBY!,7pm DFO Time, ESPN

Fútbol

CONCACAF Women’s Championship, ‘Murrica v Canadia, 9PM DFO Time, Paramount+

Women’s Copa America: Venezuela v Brazil, Ongoing/started at 4pm DFO time on FS1

Pachuca v Mazatlan FC, 7PM DFO Time

Look, I can’t do the soccer thing. If I could, Hippo would have an Everton flag and a Baltimore bar would have a flagpole holder that wasn’t bent. Here’s a link to what ESPN says is happening today: https://www.espn.com/soccer/schedule