No, I said the edge of history, goddammit!

…Not quite. Fuck it, start again.

So last week you may have mentioned I un-errored my tactics and ended up going to the dirtball game last Wednesday night with Hermana Weaselo. Tickets ended up still being mildly affordable on the secondary market and I didn’t have to blow the vaunted sportsball shitposters coupon code on SeatGeek so I can save it for another day! (Because I bought the tickets on StubHub.) So, how was it?

Well, I got us the Uecker seats in the penultimate row, because there was a definite gulf of prices between “reasonably priced seats” and “all the money” which I can’t afford on a freelance musician’s budget who was about to go for a long weekend with my girlfriend and my sister can’t afford on an alumni relations person budget. But hey, fresh off Judge hitting 60 the night before, I texted her, she was game, and I found tickets that didn’t break our banks.

Sure, Judge didn’t hit 60 that night, and still hasn’t, and the Yanks didn’t clinch a playoff spot that day (since Baltimore won), so I still haven’t seen a clinch of any sort in my days of going to the ballpark, but hey, there was the history of Gleyber Torres hitting two homers in the bottom of the 8th (Fernando Tatis, Sr. scoffs due to Torres only getting 4 RBI in those two and not eight) and apparently it was the 14th game where the Yankees had more runs than hits… and they’re apparently 14-0 in those games, which makes it even stranger.

Anyway, point being, the last homestand had to be a little weird. When Judge came up to the plate in the bottom of the 1st (because he’s now also the leadoff man), sure, it was loud, the “M-V-P” chants were going and all the other things you would expect from a stadium waiting to see something historic. But as it got later in the game, and especially the last two at-bats, sure, as he stepped up to the plate, same stuff, but once the pitcher got set, pin-drop silence. To the point where the home faithful cheered for a 5th inning double half-heartedly. On the one hand, hey, automatic double and Judge needs knocks for the Triple Crown! On the other, not 61.

Meanwhile, Eric Stout nearly got strung up, or hanged, or tarred and feathered, for a 4-pitch walk in the bottom of the 8th with the score 11-2. Nothing was close, wanted nothing to do with that smoke.

Anyway, with the East decided, maybe he gets the two against the O’s this weekend. Toronto, still in the Wild Card race, might continue to walk him. (0/1 with 4 BBs last night.)

Dirtball
Records/Triple Crown Watch
NYY vs. TOR, 7:07: (Judge still at 60 homers; .314–60–128 leads AL for Triple Crown)
CWS vs. MIN, 7:40: (Luis Arráez, MIN: .313; MIN eliminated from WC w/ loss or SEA win; CWS eliminated from WC w/ loss & SEA win)
BAL vs. BOS, 7:10: (Xander Bogaerts, BOS: .310; BAL 3.5 GB for WC3)

Pennant Races
NL East Battle! (Tied at 97-58, NYM hold H2H tiebreaker 9-7, teams play this weekend @ ATL?)
ATL vs. WSH, 7:05
MIA vs. NYM, 7:10

Wild Cards, bitches!
AL: (TOR: +2.5 for WC1, magic number 2)
TB vs. CLE, in progress (TB: +1.5 for WC2, magic number 4)
TEX vs. SEA, 9:40 (SEA: +3.5 over BAL for WC3, magic number 6)
LAD vs. SD, 9:40 (LAD: clinched best record in NL; magic number 4 for best record in MLB) (SD: +2.5 for WC2; magic number 4)
PHI vs. CHC, 7:40 (PHI: +1.5 over MIL for WC3; magic number 7)

Other games
KC vs. DET, in progress
ARI vs. HOU, 8:10 (HOU: clinched first-round bye; magic number 1 for best record in AL)
OAK vs. LAA, 9:38
COL vs. SF, 9:45

A different edge of history… you wanna see the original Vlad the Impaler? BRING BACK GAGE COUCHOIS!

I only have a slight idea of what Zach and Chewy are talking about about the innards of Vlad, but it’s amazing. For those who don’t know, Vlad the Impaler won the Las Vegas ’99 and BattleBots 1.0 heavyweight championships, and one of the few robots to best BioHazard. Its retirement fight was essentially the neutering it got in Season 3.0 by Mechavore where the entire bottom armor essentially got sliced off. But it lasted the full 3 minutes!

As for us, pick up a pen, start writing! Unless you’re in Florida, in which case, you may need to light a candle first since the power’s out. (Send love to Boris.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZfzuJ8oVpE