TGIF! Happy forest fire season to those on the east coast. Hope today was enough of a relief so your peepers work tonight. And also, the breathing thing.

Survival – Personal Edition

Now that the weather has warmed up, so too is your local lakes and rivers. That may give some of you ideas. Like kayaking! Very fun, very relaxing, and a bit of physical activity to boot! What’s not to like? Oh right, kayaks in the hands of even the best will overturn from time to time. Being strapped into a kayak while upside down and submerged can be terrifying. But it needn’t be. Just follow these easy steps to get your head above water.

• First, you need to relax. Panicking will only make things worse and deplete your lungs of what oxygen remains. You’re not going to drown, I promise! Now, the best way to relax is to bend forward at your waist. Good, now count to three. In that time, this should have been enough time for you to calm down and also the kayak to settle in a stable position. Also, make sure to keep a tight hold of your paddle. You’ll need that later.
• While still leaning forward, flex at the hip to move your torso to the left side of the kayak.
• Now move the paddle parallel to the kayak, keeping both hands on the paddle with a tight grip.
• Sweep the paddle away from the kayak. Use your right hand which will be on the paddle toward the front of the kayak. Move the paddle outward and keep it just under the surface of the water.
• Lean upward so your head and torso are near the surface of the water. Do not pull your head out of the water just yet.
• The next move is all in the hips. At this point you should be about halfway through the paddle sweep with your right hand. At this point, snap your hips to move your torso to the right side of the kayak. This will pull the kayak right under your center of gravity. Between the weight transfer and the finish of the paddle sweep your kayak will have you just above but still touching the surface of the water.
• Now bend your torso and using your abs and legs to pull the kayak towards your head. The kayak will begin to sit upright in the water, at which point pull your head from the water surface and sit up straight.

Congrats! You’re still alive with your head above water. Before heading down a turbulent river make sure you’ve practiced this maneuver enough to be comfortable doing it quickly.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to what’s most important: Commenting and drinking!