Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

[climbs out of shamehole, brushes dirt from pants]

Last night, that didn’t go well! What a travesty-the talent gap has not been sufficiently closed, folks. At least I’m up in my fantasy leagues.

Fallout:

-We Have Ownage Transference? Julian Love’s longish stay in the qb waiting room seems to have paid off for him. Congrats to him for helping to beat the Bears.

-A Little of This, (Yay!) A Little of That.(Oh No) Jacobi Meyers justified his signing right out of the gate by scoring double 6’s yesterday but then the hammer came right down on his head and it’s off to Concussion Town.

-It’s Never Good News: Alas, whenever Pacman Jones shows up as an item, it tends to involve the authorities. Getting escorted off a plane while being intoxicated for a 6am flight-why not get smashed at home like a (relatively) responsible old guy like me?

-Speaking of the above item… Antonio Brown reportedly blew 125K on the Vikes yesterday. At the age of 35 I’d expect the ‘He’s Penniless’ stories to hit within the next five years.

To The Game!

Bills/Jets:

-These guys split last year with New York winning by 3 and Buffalo winning by 8.

-The Redemption Tour of Gabe Davis: The world was his oyster last year with many predicting he’d go to the next level as a wr. I think if you wanted him you’d have to grab him in the 3rd or 4th round. It didn’t happen. A toxic mix of nagging injuries and dropped balls sent his season sideways.

-Hey, who is Sauce taking on tonight? Some say he’s shadowing Diggs but others say he’ll stick to the outside. Perhaps the guessing is a reflection of the fact that he can play anywhere on the field.

-James Cook is the latest rb to be offered up as a difference-maker on the Bills O. Though to me the run game seems to be an afterthought after Allen came on board. Singletary and Moss had their chances but failed miserably. Or is it that GM Beane just can’t identify rb talent?

-Nuff said about Rodgers everywhere else so not here.

-Will Dalvin or Breece dominate carries or will it be evenly split? I’d guess they’re within 5 carries of each other, further muddying the waters of those folks that drafted them.

Do your thing.

 

5 5 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
418 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
clint greasewood

QARON should have immunized his ankles

fleshwound_NPG

thats close

SonOfSpam

THIS SONOFSPAM I CALL HIM AL-QAEDA BECAUSE A JET WENT DOWN ON 9/11 AND I’M HAPPY

SonOfSpam

Seems weird that ayahuasca and ankle both start with the same letter.

Spur

Mr. Big Boot is gonna milk this for 3 weeks.

ArmedandHammered

I wonder if anyone has glued plastic towers onto those foam jets hats.

Sharkbait

This feels so wrong but.

1000003835.jpg
jjfozz

The Golden Bachelor crossover with The Walking Dead. Make it happen.

ArmedandHammered

You know they are going to suddenly have someone who is much younger join the cast.

jjfozz

Maybe Nancy Pelosi?

King Hippo

I like how you think, good sir.

Senor Weaselo

THESE NEW YORK JETS I CALL THEM THE BELLE HARBOR FLIGHT BECAUSE THEY WENT DOWN AND WE IMMEDIATELY STARTED MAKING 9/11 REFERENCES, BUT NO, IT WAS JUST A MECHANICAL FAILURE.

fleshwound_NPG

lol the first round pick the packers are getting needs Qaron to take 70% of the snaps

Don T

🤣🤣🤣🤣

LemonJello

Rodgers announces retirement from hospital bed, film at 11.

fleshwound_NPG

maybe the afc east just sucks. again

jjfozz

THESE HEISMAN HOUSE COMMERCIALS, I CALL THEM GINGER LYNN, BECAUSE THEY’RE OLD, WORN OUT, AND FALLING APART

jjfozz

Apple TV, bringing you nothing but shit

jjfozz

Nice punt.

fleshwound_NPG

Rex Grossman Dragon Unleashed Arm Punt©

Gatoraids

Jordan Love thinking twice about signing the deal with the devil to be a winning Packers QB in exchange for ending his career with the jets in 18 years by contracting dysentary

Spur

Seriously, the Jets line is trash. The Dallas D is gonna kill someone next week.

LemonJello

THESE JETS, I CALL THEM THE MONTHAN-DAVIS BONEYARD BECAUSE THEY’RE JUST GOING TO PIECES AND WON’T ACCOMPLISH THE SQUARE ROOT OF FUCK-ALL!

jjfozz

The Golden Bachelor just signed an endorsement deal with Depends. What a train wreck.

Gatoraids

missed out on the Jimmy Johnson Extenze bonanza

ArmedandHammered

Viagra, the answer should be viagra for any endorsement for any flavor of the Bachelor.

Gatoraids

no team more likely to shit themselves than the NY jets

Redshirt
Spur

Am sure Rodgers is doing his own research on how to fix his ankle as we speak. He’s already asking where he can get some salamander livers. He’ll be back soon.

Brocky

Ironically I’m pretty sure you can find most animals in New york

LemonJello

Is MetLife built on an Indian burial ground?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jimmy Hoffa was an Indian?

Mr. Ayo

comment image

LemonJello

♫ Hello Darkness, My Old Friend ♫

Spur

comment image

Gumbygirl

Those kids still don’t know how My Pet Goat ends. Oh, the humanity !

Gatoraids

Yul Brynner in Requiem for a Dream

ArmedandHammered

The stare of a man who has seen many dark and terrible things – Rex Ryan’s lost collection of “Footsie!” magazine, the inside of Schon Green’s locker, the litter and stench of Rex Ryan’s forgotten snack stash (coincidentally next to the boxes of magazines), and his future of never head coaching again.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welp. Looks like we really will always have the Jets.

Gatoraids

Mike Glennon in the stands in a bills jersey

ArmedandHammered

Milf Hunter Z will lead them to Super Bowl as he has been promised dates with the cast of Desperate Housewives if they make it to the SB.

Brocky

I remember last year the manningcast was covering a packers game, and eli and Peyton were doing a pretty poor job of covering their bias.

Sorry your buddy is hurt guys

Redshirt

Peyton is about five minutes away from openly swearing on the air.

jjfozz

Met Life Stadium is 3 hours away from me. If I left now, I could be there to make fun of Jets fans once the game was over. I may dress up as Aaron Rogers and walk around on crutches.

Brocky

Wear an N95 mask

clint greasewood

Nathaniel Hackett and Zack Wilson?

Spur

is Zach wearing a durag?

Redshirt

Found online:

“Rodgers only lasted a few minutes. Relatable.”

LemonJello

This may be the worst news involving a jet to happen on this day in the history of America.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the most amusing parts is that Leonard Floyd was actually incredibly gentle with that takedown.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eli’s right, against the Jets offense with Zach Wilson behind center, three points should be all you will ever need.

fleshwound_NPG

lead. insurmountable.

litre_cola

Friends we are in the darkest timeline. He is coming back and will throw 3 tds.

blaxabbath

Jets fans should have booed Rogers on the cart.

jjfozz

Or thrown batteries. Wait, wrong city with shitty fans.

Redshirt

Doesn’t look like Achilles. I’m think high ankle sprain.

Spur

Looks like Spur juju can travel

Brocky

Holy shit i just realized that was leonard Floyd with the hit

Former bear injuring former packer

fleshwound_NPG

5D chess by the bears, even robbie gould kicked him out of his last playoff game as a packer

blaxabbath

Hate runs deep

LemonJello

Qaron getting Ketamine of Krokodil in the locker room right now?

LemonJello

Or, not of. The ability to edit would be a neat feature to research for this here dick joke site.

Redshirt

The Edit button is on strike in solidarity with the Hollywood writers.

The Maestro

Listen, if you pay that cursed Boer $8/month, you can edit a post formerly known as a Tweet however often you want.

This is a premium site, unlike that place. That means we’ll charge at least $12/month for the edit feature.

Don T

This site making… money!?
NEVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🥁🥁🥁🥁🔥🥁🥁🔥🥁

The Maestro

Either way, Hippo has a hard-on from reading this.

Spur

Here’s the replay. Rodgers had it coming
comment image

fleshwound_NPG

please achilles please achilles please achilles

jjfozz

A grown man wearing a “Woody” name tag . . . kind of creepy

LemonJello

The meat wagon (cart) was pulling up to the Magic Tent of Healing. This does not bode well for the J-E-S-T

King Hippo

achilees is sommet they have a pretty accurate “field test” for, too

Spur

a cart ride!

King Hippo

Yes, he’s Grimace Touched My Butthole’s starting QB. You’re fookin’ welcome.