Saturday Night Off-season Open Thread 18: The Euro Knockout Round Has Started!!

Don’t let it be said that I don’t listen. Last week, some people wanted me to change the banner image. I listened.

This may be taken as a passive-aggressive thing from me, but I assure you it’s not. It’s openly aggressive. Just to make it clear:

Also,

So, every Saturday, I’ll be posting a different pro-Trump pic just because I know it bothers you so.

***

Golf Update

Last week, I played in an “Away” tournament at a course about an hour from my house and it was really hot. I played okay but I think I must have drank two gallons of liquids and I was still tired.

I did get a Skin, so that got me some money and valuable points. I’m up to sixth in the overall standings.

***

Copa América

Argentina takes on Perú while Canadá plays Chile. Adjust your dinner plans accordingly.

My suggestion:

Appetizer = Argentinian empanadas

First Course = Lomo Saltado

Second Course = Chilean Sea Bass

Dessert = Maple Candy

***

Y’all know that Trump is getting reelected, right? The Republicans are playing this election exactly right. They’re putting out the (mostly fake) stories that Biden will be replaced on the ticket by Gavin Newsom knowing full well that:

  • Biden’s age and mental acuity constitute a gigantic red flag for non-Democrats.
  • México elected a woman president before the US (meaning Kamala is a liability as a running mate because the country would be voting for her by proxy and not enough people like her).
  • Gavin Newsom has ruined California and is extremely easy to attack.

The only real alternative is RFK Jr. and the media has split along Republican and Democrat lines. There is no independent media anymore. Therefore, RFK has no shot as the media will not give him the exposure needed to be a viable third candidate. They won’t even allow him to join in a debate!

And that’s not saying RFK is a GOOD alternative. It’s saying the media doesn’t want to promote ANY third party or ANY real competition to the status quo. The Republican and Democratic parties are too good for their bottom line. Fuck democracy, it’s about the dollars for the media.

Besides, the Trump Revenge Tour would be fascinating to watch.

Author’s Note: I wrote the above prior to the debate on Thursday. If the Democrats don’t replace Biden, they’ll not only lose the election, they won’t get a majority in either the House or the Senate for at least a decade.

***

As a quick reminder, the full Summer of Soccer schedule is below:

***

Your weekly Psych gif:

***

Your weekly hot girl pic:

Marika-Fruscio-17.jpg

***

Your weekly music video:

***

One last thing:

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Cecil Rhodes

My word! These blue blokes from Bratislava look to be giving the Three Lions a bit of trouble at the minute. Come on, England — I demand satisfaction!

BugEyedBoo

Snake!

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WCS

Probable DOA was confirmed. That’s two already since 22:00 EST for me, and at least one other from another operator I spoke to.

It’s Independence Day week, and there’s a bad batch of something making the Yinzburgh rounds.

Brick Meathook

I know there’s a heat wave across most or North America, but here in coastal California I’m wearing a sweater and I just turned the heater onn a

WCS
Mr. Ayo

*dials 912*

I’d like to report an assault

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbdRLyixJpc

Doktor Zymm
WCS
Gumbygirl

I was never able to get past the plug flinging thing with them. Ew.

Brick Meathook

Song written by Shel Silverstein :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuvfIePDbgY

BugEyedBoo

.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
yeah right

Balls, you know I love you and respect you.

Hell man I’ve cooked for you.

TWICE.

So you know exactly where I’m coming from when I discuss your new entry.

From the very depths of my heart.

Fuck you.

2Pack

They made you do it. Nobody said being Marika’s slave was going to be easy.

2Pack

She appreciates you Buddy

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Doktor Zymm

You’re just doing what he wants you to do!

yeah right
WCS

https://www.wtae.com/article/wilkins-township-cars-into-home/61461058

I’ve only been doing this for a few weeks, but of all the calls thus far, this one making the news wasn’t on my BINGO card. The call itself was so routine and forgettable, I didn’t think about this at all until I saw it on the news earlier this evening.

WCS

The caller was actually laughing about it for moment, until the extent of the damage became evident.

Horatio Cornblower

The homeowner, Arnie Levine said he called 911, but the operator just started laughing at him, then sent 17 Simpson’s gifs applicable to his situation.

Last edited 5 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
Cecil Rhodes

I say! Look at those valiant British North Americans shithousing their way to a berth in the knockout stages of the Copa America! It truly brings a tear to the eye of this old Empire Builder!

litre_cola

Oh we can play knifey divey sir.

Also, sir Hippo. Please retract yesterday’s statement and you are off the list. Horatio, can’t for the life of me remember why you are on the list. But you are.

Doktor Zymm

He probably deserves it

WCS

This is the correct response.

Horatio Cornblower

There’s very little doubt of that.

Horatio Cornblower

Damn, I was hoping one of us was paying attention.

WCS

Guess who just reported for duty.

Mr. Ayo

*falls*
*can’t get up*
*dials WCS*

Mr. Ayo

*wakes up in the morning*

Dammit, it’s 911, not 927!

WCS

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Brick Meathook

Was it me?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Congratulations, Canadia! Though it would have been more enjoyable had it been a bit more decisive.

Game Time Decision

Love that song. Also like to watch reaction videos of people hearing it for the first time.

Mr. Ayo

4 points with a negative goal diff and advancing?

Great job, Hat!

Doktor Zymm

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Apparently Repubs used this pic back in 2007 to attack Gavin for being a womanizer. Yet another highly hilarious arena of debate should we see him run against Trump

Last edited 5 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Trump would probably admit to sex with Stormy because HOW MANY PORN STARS HAVE YOU FUCKED GAVVY??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All this photo shows is that he appreciates the finer things in life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly I’d be more concerned if he *wasn’t* checking out such a rockin’ pair of tits.

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Apparently this is young Gavin? He looks better without the permanent smug look he has now

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scotchnaut

He’s doing a very fine ‘above it all’ in this pic.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He looks like he would have been a big fan of the movie Gleaming the Cube.

WCS

“Gleaming the Cube” is an obtuse term for pounding off.

Doktor Zymm

Wait, so spinning the cube, literally, in Astor Place, is performance art symbolizing having sex with short people?

Horatio Cornblower

Dammit, we just got him to bed, too.

Senor Weaselo

So Senorita Weaselo and I are listening to different violinists playing Tchaikovsky (because she’s looking at it with an eye on auditions), so this leads to the following question for the non-musical field here:

Name a still-alive (edit: Classical) violinist, not named Itzhak Perlman. We’re trying to figure out who are currently the second and third-most well-known violinist alive. (We have guesses, but that’s still from the lens of violinists.)

Last edited 5 months ago by Senor Weaselo
Horatio Cornblower

Amanda Shires.

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Mr. Ayo

Haha, who’s Itzhak?

So, Yo yo ma? No, that’s cello.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who was that chick who was dating the Uber CEO? That’s the best I can do. Imma look her up.

Ah, Gabi Holzwarth. I guess she does hip hop now.

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WCS

She and Robert Plant were just here last week.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Joshua Bell

yeah right

I was trying to come up with the most foul thing I could say to my soon to be evicted upstairs neighbor and
….

blaxabbath

Thank you for accommodating and punishing me.

This is how it should work!

yeah right

Mission accomplished.

Horatio Cornblower

The announcers describing one of the leading women in the 10,000m run as “finally healthy” and then they cut to a close-up of the pack and it’s like “ma’am, none of these people are ‘healthy’ by any criteria that doesn’t directly involve baby birds.”

Doktor Zymm

Wait…should we be pushing them off cliffs so they learn to fly?

Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That wasn’t as feelgood as I hoped it would be.

Mr. Ayo

One lived! How many did you think would live?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Three! And then after the first one, I revised my expectation to “zero”.

Horatio Cornblower

Fox has the US Olympic Trials on. Women’s 10,000m final is on. I find these long distance track event hypnotic. They look like they’re just jogging along until you look at the splits and realize they’re basically doing what I’d consider a dead sprint for 25 minutes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve never watched serious track in person but I did see someone pretty high level (I assume) training for the 200m at a local college and holy shit were they fast.

scotchnaut

These Chilean babies writhing on the ground at the barest touch. I can’t imagine the volume of their high-pitched screaming when they get all their tattoos done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

YOU HAVE A MAN ADVANTAGE, CANADA! YOU DO NOT NEED TO TAKE ON 3 DEFENDERS BY YOURSELF! JUST PASS THE BALL! SOMEONE IS OPEN, I GUARANTEE IT.

Horatio Cornblower

“These guys sure are in good shape” I say, adding whipped cream and strawberries to my banana-chocolate-chip ice cream. “I wonder how they do it?”

Game Time Decision

Strawberries are healthy unless you’re Tom Brady

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They should have thrown any one of these items at him instead:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Honey, why is Google serving us ads for ‘strawberry-tipped dildos’?” – the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, next week

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The worst part is that she’ll ask me and by that time I genuinely won’t remember and answer “I honestly have no idea” and she’ll think I’m lying.

Doktor Zymm

Perhaps you should be flattered she doesn’t apply Hanlon’s Razor?

litre_cola

Hollee fucksticks is this game a war. So south americano it’s superb.

Doktor Zymm

As much as I hate to say it, I think Ol’ Gav Tiresome could beat Trump. And then we might get a less shitty California governor! If nothing else, I would love to watch a debate between the two because the amount of arrogance might go critical and somehow destroy them both

Horatio Cornblower

Watching UFC fights and I’m going to get ‘860’ tattooed on my neck so I can go around reppin’ Connecticut’s area code and just constantly getting the shit kicked out of me.

scotchnaut

Do you need the tattoo for that though?

Horatio Cornblower

Couldn’t hurt.

Mr. Ayo

As you just laid out, it actually might really hurt

Senor Weaselo

You could alternately get the Luis Gil “God bless me” neck tat!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, don’t be walking around the 203 with that shit, homey. You’ll get your ass smoked.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Besides, the Trump Revenge Tour would be fascinating to watch.

Yeah see I guess where you and I differ is that I don’t think of the prospect of thugs like the Proud Boys becoming full-on paramilitaries and beating the shit out of people with complete impunity to be “fascinating”.

Horatio Cornblower

What RTD’s talking about is far more likely to actually happen than what you’re talking about. All that right wing sound and fury is nothing compared to the blank apathy of government bureaucracy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I see. But the part when it’s Kristallnacht for every Planned Parenthood in the country won’t be quite as fascinating, I take it?

Senor Weaselo

Fascinating as in the sacking of Rome by the Visigoths?

Horatio Cornblower

Well Rikki, that’s why the Founding Fathers had the foresight to allow you to purchase things like cop-killer bullets, and do things like modify high-powered semi-automatic rifles with things like bump stocks.

Show some initiative, sir.

blaxabbath

He could also JOIN us err…them! Proud Boys… and help Make This Place Your Version of Great Again.

Mr. Ayo

I’m assuming this is in the soccer playing category only

Mr. Ayo

You might be right!

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Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, jeez, some real uggos there.

/rolls eyes so hard I fall over

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What’s the country code if I want to send someone in Argentina a text message?” – Brett Favre

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Did you ever meet my friend Babette? She was half Argentinian and rather cute.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, that would make sense.

scotchnaut

Canada should have a goal by now.

Mr. Ayo

Not sure why everyone’s upset about the debate.

NO ONE is changing their vote based on what happened. Both candidates suck, and both showed why.

Mr. Ayo

That thing starved a long time ago though.

Horatio Cornblower

It made me more likely to vote for Biden: before I wasn’t going to, because was going to win CT by 10+ points and I think he’s too damn old and kind of shitty for a lot of reasons.

But now I have to, because he did such a shitty job I’m no longer sure I can sit this one out. And Trump is far, far, far worse.

Horatio Cornblower

Their dedication to running people whose age precludes their having any skin in the game for any period of time longer than, say, next Tuesday, (Biden, Pelosi, Clyburn, Hoyer, Blumenthal and on, and on, and on, will never see 75 again), while constantly missing opportunities to appeal to younger voters, but never missing a chance to ask me if I “can rush just $5 so we can afford to buy airtime to pretend we’re not just running a huge money-raising operation while managing to get outmaneuvered on literally everything” is truly stunning.

In a way it’s impressive.

Horatio Cornblower

To be clear, if anyone can afford to send money to their House, Senate, and *especially* local Dems running they absolutely should, because it really looks like we’re going to need them.

Mr. Ayo

Stupid Comcast. I get FS2, but not on cable. Only by streaming from their shitty web site.

Mr. Ayo

Yes, but only in SD

Mr. Ayo

Damn straight. I’ve got it figured out with 3 screens going now:

1) FS1 on main TV
2) Spa 24h on second TV (streaming)
3) FS2 on computer (streaming)

Hooray internet!

Horatio Cornblower

What does South Dakota have to do with this?

Mr. Ayo

I’m just saying by the time I got there the fixture would be over. Very unfair to me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You’ve heard of Canadian doubles in tennis, where one side has an extra player? I hope you’re ready for Canadian soccer!

Horatio Cornblower

In terms of Weekly Hot Girls pics it doesn’t get much hotter than Jessica Biel and Alison Brie, so here ya go!!

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Paul F. Tompkins is also devilishly handsome, so there’s that.

scotchnaut
Horatio Cornblower

He has some routine where in the middle of it he says “I’ll tell you this for free” and just the way he says it absolutely kills me.

ArmedandHammered

We will let you deal with all the MAGgots that show up after you start posting pro Putrid Pumkin shit. My issue with the banner makes the lovely Marika look like hooker advertising herself.

Don T

Trump will lose. And to be sure: Biden will get the good drugs by the Sept. debate. Houthis are delaying evrethang smh

Horatio Cornblower

Biden’s prep for the next debate, pictured:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnBtoOAhba4

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bitchin’ scissor kick attempt by Chile.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Huh. I wonder *how* the police were involved.

Well, one thing we know is that the 13 year-old “male” who was shot and killed wasn’t white, otherwise they’d have referred to him as a “boy”.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m no fan of cops, but maybe don’t run away from them and/or display a replica Glock while doing so. it’s not going to end well for you and no cop is ever going to get in trouble for shooting you if you’ve got one of those Airsoft-type guns with the orange tip (heh) removed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given that cops have a history of murdering both armed and unarmed people in broad daylight, I will never fault someone for trying to run away from them with all haste the instant they try to interact with them.

Horatio Cornblower

Absolutely, but don’t do it with a very realistic replica of a Glock.

In fact, just don’t carry very realistic replicas of Glocks at all.

Senor Weaselo

“Boy” would be an Albany expression.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna guess the cop accidentally shot itself and landed on the kid, smothering him to death

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Where are they playing this Canadia-Chile game? The field looks like trash.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ugh. Never again. What a dump.

litre_cola

Drove 15 hours. Made it just in time.

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scotchnaut

Hmmm. Watch soccer or yet another dumb show that involves dragons somehow? What to do. What to do…

litre_cola

Biggest match in our country’s history.

scotchnaut

Game 8 vs the Soviets in ’72 is begging to differ.

litre_cola

This sport silly hobo killer.

Horatio Cornblower

‘Shoresy’ has dragons in it?

Brick Meathook

Something very similar happened to me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voBpms4Sr9k

TheRevanchist

That lomo saltado plate pic was taken at El Polla Inka. I recognize the table, the soup, and that container on the table of that green sauce.

scotchnaut

Your Deep State-adjacent ramblings humor and intrigue me. Have you adjusted your medications? If not, I will gladly subscribe to your podcast.