I apologize for using last week’s boob drawing as the banner image. Not only did I break DFO policy on full frontal nudity, not only did I make two commentists come unexpectedly , but I also, and this is the worst sin of all, fucked up a joke that DJ TAJ was working on. I really am truly sorry for that last one.
So, aside from sincere apologies, what is there to talk about?
Current Events
This week I realized that I am Alice and I have dropped down the rabbithole into Wonderland at work. The decisions getting made lately are INSANE.
I’m taking suggestions on how to decorate my office to fit the theme. Big gigantic playing cards? Cutout cat on the wall? Big hat? Tell me what I should do. I have never tried hard drugs but I feel like I’ve been on LSD all week.
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Sports Update
The NCAA tournament rolls on. I think I am very much out of the running since Michigan, my championship pick, is out. Tonight’s games are: Texas Tech v Florida and Duke v Alabama.
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Goals Update
Since today is close to the first day of April, I’m going to take advantage and provide the three-month update on where I am:
GOLF GOALS: Lower my Handicap Index to less than 21, Shoot an 18 hole score of 89 or better, Win a tournament, and finish in the top three of my club championship.
UPDATE: My Handicap Index started the year at 26.7. It is currently at 26.0. I scored a 92 on the heels of last month’s 91, so I’m getting more consistent. I feel an 89 or better is just a matter of time. I also came in second in a tourney, so I’m building up points towards the championship!
FITNESS GOALS: Do one NFL Combine Bench Press Rep (235 lbs), Get a PR of 300 in Squat, and run 2 miles in less than 23 minutes (Army standard for my age).
UPDATE: I did not start the workout program as planned. Therefore, my new PR attempts will be delayed.
WORK GOALS: Get 5 non-performers to either quit, retire, or transfer, Get 3 mentees promoted, and institute a company-wide cost-saving measure.
UPDATE: 2 non-performers are gone and 1 mentee got her promotion. She is also on the verge of a second promotion. Three people in my department had final interviews this week for a promotion. However, I only consider two to be people I mentored. The third is actually a non-performer so if he gets a promotion and leaves, I will count that towards my numbers. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY! The cost-saving measure is in the process of being implemented. I won’t claim it yet.
INTELLECTUAL GOALS: Read 5 Christopher Moore books, create a 7 episode minimum series of fiction, and do a creative visual project.
UPDATE: I read The Stupidest Angel, Lamb, and the three books on the Vampires in San Francisco series (Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and Bite Me) so the first one is done and dusted. I finished Noir and Razzmatazz and I think Razzmatazz may be my favourite book of all time! I also just finished A Dirty Job. Y’all read the last chapter in my fiction series this month, so that goal has been achieved. I am still in the process of getting a lunch scheduled with Brick to go over our visual project. It is difficult since he refuses to spend any time in LA.
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In this space, I will tell you what I’m drinking as I type this post. Today’s drink is: Green tea with Italian Creme creamer plus three Brown Butter Salted Caramel Mini Biscotti from Trader Joe’s. Yes, that’s how I roll.
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Your weekly Psych gif:
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Your weekly hot girl pic:
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Your weekly music video:
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One last thing:
Hat tip to Brocky:
GOD DAMN IT KEWPIE!
J.C.: Oh, hey Satan.
S: What’s up, you seem down?
J.C. “Was just troubled by the whole “BALLS” misunderstanding
S” Dude, I get it but I think he understands
J.C.: The crazy part is it all stemmed from out mutual admiration and love of “Big Balloons”
Suddenly, Door Flies Open.
S: Hey Kewpie, what’s up?
KEWPIE: I got an idea how to make this all go away.
J.C.: Thanks, Kewp, but I think I can handle this
K:: Trust me it’s fool proof. Everybody laughs then everybody forgets
S: What have you got in my mind Kewpie?
K: I’m going to pee in my own face.
J.C.: That’s so not, hey where did he go?
S: I think he might be drunk. Did he say he was going to stand on his head?
Hey Jesus
Solid progress on the goals Sir. We switched to DST here in the EU over night, so I look forward to slightly off beat day.
And not one local kid on the roster…
https://allsportstucson.com/2025/03/29/arizona-mens-wheelchair-basketball-team-wins-first-national-championship/
Who’s been otu drinking with hi scousins? thiiiiis motheracuacka! god, what w agreat geeling. man, shit is good. wait, dmore drinks? this fucking white boys is on baord!
I ain’t EVEN entering the cheat code that gets me to “Fozz mode.”
offical cheeat code: fuckinggodamnbourblepissheadmanta3498
Are the cousins hot?
–Balls, probably
Italian chicks are, undoubtedly, hot.
Nods…
look, the timeline is bad. chalk as far as the eye can see. juju busted a knee…
but a dookie vs florida man title game is too far
we better get a hell of a market adjustment for all this
like a leafs game 7 ot own goal loss. we’ll take that.
You know what baseball doesn’t need?
An hour long pregame show.
There are 162 games I sure as shit ain’t investing 162 hours of my remaining life span to a goddamn baseball pregame show.
Gracias Senor Balls but no mia culpa required.
We’re still friends.
pitch clock not applicable for the talking head hot take industrial complex
We were at a Cactus League game on Sunday and the catchers or batters could VAR strikes and balls???? What the fuck?
Was very pleased it wasn’t a thing at the Dbacks regular season game last night.
I’m watching tonight’s game right now.
Let’s go Cubbies.
They got smoked last night. You could have seen Blax, his missus, myself and Mrs. Cola cuz we were behind the bench. Blax does not fuck about when getting tickets
Wish I was there.
Sounds great.
Can confirm, does not fuck around.
fine with it if only to watch players hilariously waste their challenges in the very early innings of games over one random pitch
somebody put lovie smith into my baseball!
In this timeline Duke is going to win the whole thing eh?
dook vs florida man
Why is Bob Dylan Our Greatest Songwriter Ever?
In the song “Tangled Up In Blue” from his 1975 album Blood On The Tracks
Dylan rhymes the word “employed” two lines later with “Delacroix”
That’s Nobel Prize level rhyming, folks. It can never be surpassed.
https://ibb.co/ZRQPTjJG
I’ve never understood the appeal of Bob Dylan
You need to take a lot more hits of acid.
It could be a generational thing, I don’t get it either.
https://youtu.be/PSaO5-cTEq8?si=TkDgJ9DClsE1Cd3g
“Employed > Delacroix”
What’s not to get here?
Taylor Swift couldn’t do that. Nor Lennon-McCartney, Paul Simon, or even Morrissey.
Nobel-Fucking-Prize!
Time to shoot down some stars. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!
Do the Winipeggers a favour!!!
There’s Winnie the Pooh pegging porn!?
They’re trying, but turns out they still suck out loud.
Oooh, this episode is starting with a collapsing nun!
The nun is pregnant!
Immaculate?
Yes, but turns out it was just a cyst. Though they didn’t discover that until she had already told the Mother Superior and gotten booted out of the convent for being a whore and now the nun thinks God is an ass!
Not played by Sally Field.
I should visit Scotland again some time soon, haven’t been there in years and I assume we’re gonna tariff the shit out of all their good booze so I should go smuggle a bunch back
I know a few places!
oh mah DEAR SWEET JEEBUS, Carrie Coon is in s3 of White Lotus!!!!
AND Parker Posey!!!!!
Found a funny:
*trying to open a jar*
brain: clench your jaw
props to that Clayton kid, he made a very difficult shot for the dagger. Then everybidy made FTs.
think I heard a squeal of delight from Gatoraids’ corner of the Clubhouse
for most the game was me tightening my tribute to David Carridine and Michael Hutchinson
Though nowNot first time that Texas Tech has exploded over Florida.
Oh that’s good
I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my aunt used to be Billy Donovan’s next door neighbor in Gainesville. He was always really nice, and I really liked his wife. I picked your Gators in this game, my final four is still alive!
glad to hear Billy Ball always seemed nice to us and really got the program rollin
Ha ha I’ve been back in L.A. for a week now! However I had surgery on Monday.
It was outpatient plastic surgery on my
enormous rackformer left foot so I have to stay home and non-ambulatory for about two weeks, but after that I’m good to hobble around and by then I’ll have received from England a secret gift that I have for you that I didn’t blab about the other night. Opiates are a hell of a drug; washed down with bourbon they’re even worse. But we’ll make a date here real soon, on or after April 15-ish.You didn’t get a quickie tit job also? It’s like I hardly know you!
Works for me! Glad the penis reduction surgery went well!
You can just tell us it was a butt lift, we would all be supportive (emotionally, not physically, I assume there are post-surgery garments for that)
New an improved Meathook experience. Such sights to show you.
GUNS FUCKING UP!*
*in a good way, mind you-sorry for the confusion
as long as the guns are known for killing a fascist or two in their day
M1911: The Nazi Killer
ppsh-41: the 1250 nazis per minute killer
Yeah but only 1 in 20 bullets went anywhere near their mark, but the rifle was easy to maintain by peasants. Hence the Soviet & Chinese infantry doctrines of mass human wave attacks: Get Up Close And Shoot! 1250 bullets/minute = 62.5 hits/minute which is probably 6.25 serious hits/minute and .625 kills/minute. Still pretty good. If your human wave is large enough you can do some real damage against the best entrenched marksmen.
Florida might be the more talented team but Tech’s willingness to play D right to the end of the play clock might mean the difference.
My week in Canada’s meth lab basement comes to a close tomorrow. Was lovely and we got at least a dozen apologies for the current regime. Very much enjoyed Sir Blax’s hospitality at the beisbol game last night!
I bet on Florida but would like the chalk fest to end. Was hoping Bama would be the one to rock the boat.
Who could ever forget Denise Milani. Good lovin’!
Drinking Soju tonight because I’m cool like that several years ago.
TTU hanging in there…
Keep working on that golf game! Played my first round last week and shot an 80. (which raised my index from 16.0 to 16.5?) If I can do it, you can too!
What did you shoot on the back 9?
/shows self out.
If it weren’t for that fucking windmill I just know I could have shot 75!
Nice job! Pretty soon you’ll get a 69!
THIS PAIGE BUECKERS AGAINST OKLAHOMA LEMME TELL YA I CALL HER 1994 SNOOP DOGG BECAUSE SHES GOT A 40 AND IS SURROUNDED BY HOES
she also makes money!