I’m going continue the bit with the lists. Tonight, I present to you a list of things I like that start with the letter P:
- Pie
- Pasta
- Printemps (it’s French)
- Ponies (but not like Redshirt)
- Poon (better than the other word, don’t you think?)
- Parties
- Paella (Valenciana is best but I like all kinds)
- Pars
- Paris (the city)
- Pillows (the kind shaped like a butt)
- Premierships
I could go on. However, I need to move on.
So, aside from THAT, what is there to talk about?
Soccer Update
Barcelona has won La Liga. They have also won the Copa Del Rey. Real Madrid did not win a trophy and will have a new coach. It’s only a matter of time before Xabi Alonso is pried from Leverkusen.
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Stanley Cup Cocaine Update
The second round games have been pretty awesome, haven’t they? Toronto managed to force a Game 7 last night. Game Sevens are the greatest things in the world
The Jets will try to also force a Game Seven tonight against the Stars.
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Golf Updates
I played this morning with my boss and shot my all-time best at that course. A 96 and my handicap should drop down to 25.3.
Last week, I barely missed getting into the money by one stroke. The funny bit is that I scored an 11 on the 18th hole. If it wasn’t for that disaster hole, I would have done quite well.
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In this space, I will tell you what I’m drinking as I type this post. Today’s drink is: Monster Energy Ultra Vice Guava.
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Your weekly Psych gif:
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Your weekly hot girl pic:
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Your weekly music video:
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One last thing:
Seriously, hat tip to Brocky:
Well, you can’t make this shit up. Damn.
#BFIB 1, Asslicking Royals NIL. Fin. The RIGHT way.
Padres vs Mariners ⚾️
Playing for the Vedder Cup
That’s Rockingggg!
Gooooo Padres!
hearts and thoughts they faaaaadddde
faaaaaaadddde away….
NL west update, go LA!
🔱 🔱 🔱 UP!
Prediction: Calvary FC will end up scoring more goals than the Jets today. (They had four in today’s victory)
Spicy cucumber margarita is delicious
That looks really good
Everything at this place has been solid, Mamita in Novato
That’s Rocking
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ycdIlKo_yRI
https://ibb.co/rK3FdjRF
Also, I will NOT switc over to liquore. it is my downfall. it make s the whole night goe siedweays . nop, gonnae be a big boy. nad not wear pants.
Bourble’s abrewin’…
FUCk!@ I did. Fucking dammit. i suck
Is Litre at the pub, parenting, or both?
I am parenting one handed tonight. my two oldest are out, the youngest is . . .somewhare
I think the Fozz lads need to see just how far Dad can piss from the roof. DO IT.
been drinking since 3, mostly beers threw a few cocktails in for good measure, but beer for restr of night
HOW THE FUCK YO DOING BOYS?
Downtown Old Torrance today. Eldest granddaughters birthday party. I’ll be at the bar.
Who is Litre’s emergency rescue person for tonight’s iceball tomfoolery?
To easy? Okay round them all up.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/louisiana-orleans-inmates-escape-rcna207232
They obviously meant it as “To (the Big) Easy (go through here)”
I took a nap and just checked in and WTF man you guys are al over the place.
It’s the pills you are taking. Everything is fine. Nothing to see here.
Hippo SEZ – take MOAR PILLZ
Have I ever mentioned that I vehemently dislike the Kansas City Royals? Cause I do.
How do you feel about the British Royals?
buncha inbred cockwambles innit?
https://ibb.co/mC5CFDq5
Had to -1 on principle, sorry.
I saw 166 posts and thought maybe the missiles were incoming. Hippo disappoint.
We’re time traveling. Strap in, enjoy the ride!
I am minded of the Ramones’ excellent wordsmithery:
I don’t wanna be buried
In a PET Sematary
I don’t wanna live my life agaaaaiiiiinnnn
Isn’t that Psych gif actually from The Breakfast Club ending?
https://youtu.be/lL1iOJCSr4g?si=loIImaIfUwora6J3
Yup. They recreated it for the high school reunion episode.
Psych, another show I’ve never watched.
Holy shit dude. That show is great!
I’ve heard good things, I’ll give it a shot if I can find it streaming.
It’s on Peacock
https://imgur.com/C2ptfVq
They are recycling things. Much like this post
Makes sense in this economy.
Well this is just super weird….
I guess this is the week for time warps…
Wait, what’s happening?
Blame Scotchy
.
one of the worst calls I’ve had just now.
AMA BFC:
Do you pee in the shower? Not, like, while you’re showering, everyone does that. I mean like when you are waiting for the water to get hot do you just stand to the side and pee down the drain rather than using the toilet that’s right there because you tell yourself it saves water.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbRinqYBLYs
AMA BFC: What happened to Weezer after 2004?
AMA BFC:
How do we get Hippo to try anal?
I’ll hang up and listen…
Opiate suppositories.
I mean, you don’t even need the suppositories, just an IOU
AMA BFC:
Big fan, first time reader, long time commentator.
What the shit is Vanda Phamaceuticals, and why is sponsoring hawkey?
I’ll hang up and listen.
Vandalay industries specializes in latex
I need to share this, JLH would want me to. I am at the age now when how my lawn is looking is more important to me than when the next good concert is. Read a tip last year about weed control and gave it a try. They said add more grass seed. Much like how the weeds take over, seeding more makes the grass take over. The shit works people.
I don’t have a lawn so can’t try this out, but still love this
This is good to know. I’ll pass it on to my country club’s grounds keepers.
I’d much rather go to a concert, but my lawn isn’t going to aggravate my tinnitus so it’s an ongoing battle, really.
Stuck on a pointlessly inane and rather annoying domestic violence call and missed that bananacakes finish.
Like c’mon lady, you have TWO arms who cares if one is broken.
(To not be sexist, Im imagining the lady in question in a lesbian. I often imagine that.)
Actually, it was the man repeating the female had hit him with a Louisville Slugger earlier today, but this time was “just her fists.”
He also mentioned he should have called several times in the past.
I’m not unsympathetic, but she could beat the shit out of him and any number of calls he’s not likely to be able to do anything. Hope he leaves. Hope the lady gets the help she needs.
You need to be like, look, lady, go take that black eye to your local urgent care facility and your relationship problems to a therapist, because I’m not either. Also, next time listen to him.
HOW GODDAMN HARD IS IT NOT TO BURN TOAST!?!?!?
NEXT QUESTION
Should the NHL award own goals instead of their patently stupid current goal attribution policy?
Yes. Own goals should be scored AND punishable by death
Do you think Commercial Real Estate, as an investment, will ever recover? Return to office mandates have been flying all over the country but my portfolio is still in the DUMPS.
No. Commerical real estate has baked in CAGRs that make NO sense and between the current bond market and the realities of the impending Trump-induced recession, no one is making as much money as they told everyone they will.
Well, back to the plasma bank I go.
Absolutely not. My company just closed on a new lease that is 50% of our old lease. And they threw in extra garage parking spaces.
My firm just re-upped our lease for less than 50% of our previous space, (and I’m assuming less than 50% of the cost), because everyone works from home.
And I do not believe the building owner is fighting new tenants off with a stick, either.
Would you rather drink 1000 ml of gin, or 1 L of gin?
How many furlongs of gin?
Didn’t we already deal with the Kentucky Derby?
I prefer my gin in fathoms.
I would have to try each, for science.
Moar free ice ball?
I fucking love cocaine!
Or not. Stupid Knights.
Update, stupid Draisaitl
Balls doesn’t like the Monkees? Take it back, or I’m calling ICE!https://youtu.be/Sz-2jckjeHo?si=CpBR-cfyGSnt78Uw
He may be too young to appreciate them. There is no excuse however for him not liking muff…
Dammit!! Missed that one!
OILY OIL OILERS
Vegas player (Thomas Hertl) was smashing his stick on the bench in frustration. The blade caught one of the trainers or equipment guys next to his eye. Owie.
Also, as much as I enjoy this jorb, and happy to do it, it’s still really nice to look at the clock and see an hour went by without really noticing.
For the BFC AMA – What is more important for a fair society: truth, justice, or reworking that fumble at the endzone = touchback turnover?
Belated AMA query for BFC – How old was you when you accepted Moses into your heart??
He doesn’t belong in my heart. But I’ve been an MOT my whole life. Wasn’t until my 20s that I realized God was optional.
Ministry of Transport?
Ugh. So annoying. There was no serial killer running story in the Phryne Fisher books. There also wasn’t constant will they/won’t they sexual tension with the Detective. Why do TV producers think we need this shit? Give me a great series, and as long as the episodes are great I will watch and thank you for leaving the pointless relationship bits aside.
Chargers are up 21-0 over the Broncos.
(puts hand to earpiece)
Apologies, I’m told this is a “based-ball” score.
Ban the Monforts forever.
Those padres do like scoring.
If I weren’t married and was into older black women, I would have a decent shot at getting laid tonight.
Please do not cuck Doug Emhoff.
You could accomplish both at once, just saying.
I’m disappointed on behalf of the older black lady, although just based on an average of older black ladies I’ve met in the DC area you’re probably missing out and she’ll have a great night anyway though
You said jazz, you’re not at Bohemian Caverns on U Street by any chance are you?
Nope. That place closed, sadly.
no! It’s been there forever
I’ll be right there.
Hit me up when you come east, I’ll wingman the shit out of you
Fucking sold.
Leave no club member behind…
/ wipes eyes on sleeve
Reviews of reEl mandarin oranges juice + gin / vodka:
1. We need more ice
2. Zcbmr 😉3joel🫘fy us d
3. /drops cellphn
We’ll send some paper towels
Hey, I already gave at the office
I’m on it!!
/grabs second suitcase
GIN&JUICE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
laaaaid back
It’s cool, you got a case on that phone
4. Our beloved Don T
I made it to the shower, so I should be fine.
/lies in bed, drops anchor foot, celing spins like a fan with a sock on one of the blades
Ohhhhh, I fucking hate the spins!
put a foot on the floor and suck it up honey!
*love ya*
Just got mandated for 16 hours. Princess may not like this…
Guess that means yinz are stuck with me, and get to witness my gradual decline into insanity!
JOIN US
Neat! Set a baseline!
If developing fried brain by hour 13, take a break. Get out of the routine to freshen up. Say, come back from a smoking break and tell the next caller “Ooh, so it’s all about you innit?”
Gradual?
She’s royalty, surely she comprehends the meaning of “mandatory?”
/also, she’s been with you through multiple early am London games – during which we ASSUME you’ve maintained proper discipline over your household??
that EYETALEEIAN Nobility don’t meen shit hear in MURIKA
Considering it’s entirely imaginary I equivocate a lot on this, but I can say right now that if I were to spend a large amount of money on a motorcar it would be a Hispano Suiza. The new ones are nice, but I would want to put modern guts in this one:
Make it electric or GTFO
Don’t see why not, my imaginary garage is on it! Gonna get some torque up in here
Didn’t realize Don T made cars.
Not this one, you’re thinking of the Borracho-Boricua
But you’re the car guy around here! Tell me you’ve never heard of the fanous Ford Model Don.
Yes, with a modern drive train and suspension this would rock the hood. Plus renting it out for weddings would make your investment back in a couple years.
Solid chance of old people hook up on the dance floor here….
Good. I want people older than me to hook up as much as possible so I have hope for my future sex life
For the record, you all suck at AMAs
You should see me at the AVNs
Or maybe you should just be more interesting so we want to ask you more things?
Nah, you’re great, we’re just lazy as fuck
Cold blooded
We are all figments of your imagination. It was asking MOAR than we are capable.
I was napping.
How was the colonoscopy?
Naps are the best
Deep
Sorry.
Does this look infected?
It def should not look like that.
lol Vegas. Wait, lol Oily Boys.
I like snakes, wouldn’t mind having one as a pet some day
I’ve owned them before.
Two rattlers and a Mojave Green.
There were a couple of house parties that told me that might be a bad idea.
They were very chill.
RATTLERS????
oh, Hippo gpon’ have nightmares
What if the snakes got you high when you licked them?
man, it’d have to be REALLY high. Like dilaudid high.
I’ve never been much of a party host, and feel like I’m out of town too much to really have pets, but maybe someday for each 🙂
For the record the were sidewinders. Not too big.
That’s no way to talk about Luis Gonzalez
What’s wrong with Earth’s satellite? NO MOON, NO TIDES.
Also, one day the moon will inexplicably slow down and eventually crash into Earth. Not soon enough, but still.
Actually, it’s pulling away, and will one day leave us
Just like Internet Dad…
“I’m just off to grab a pack of ciggys”
-The Moon
While you may be technically correct (the best kind), I did say “inexplicably” which covers all my ignorance.
But considerably before the sun collapses in on itself, which is what Space Karen is planning for. ANYWAY, we have KING TIDES but also tides are a metaphor for MENSTRUATION which is a lady thing but starts with MEN so clearly the ocean and moon are both TRANS despite not having genitals and now we can get them banned in FLORIDA
ugh, I’m tired just from typing that. How does anyone think like that all the time?
We’re too comfortable. Americans don’t have enough to worry about, so we make up shit to worry about. Anyway, the sooner all this (gestures toward humanity) ends, the better everyone else will be.
I’ve always said I’m not too concerned about global warming because it’s not Save the Earth, it’s Save the People and I don’t really care about survival of the species
THIS TEAM, THE CAROLINA HURRICANES, I CALL THEM THE BLITZKRIEG THROUGH THE LOW COUNTRIES BECAUSE THEY’RE WHIPPING A LOT OF CAPITALS ASSES IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME
3 sides from The Canadia and Blessed Vichy in the Final Four, who says nae???
Oh, Reds…
Matrix Not Like This – YouTube
Ten runs in the 1st inning, and you’re gonna sweat.
(points to the six runs in the 3rd and the collective history of Cincinnati sports)
That might be top five worst accents in movies.
Good evening. I’m posting up at a bar for some live jazz (starting in about 15 minutes). As a result, I’m getting some spillover bartender conversation. Apparently someone here ordered a Bellini. This bar does not and should not be assumed to have peach puree/juice. The customer was like “it’s fine, just put peach schnapps in the prosecco.”
I am REALLY hoping there’s a feedback loop I can witness.
I have lots of questions but I’m apathetic enough right now that I’m not going to bother to articulate them
Ok this is now an AMA
Aaaaaaand we have had “feedback” about a different cocktail.
What was the feedback?
“This doesnt taste right. It’s an espresso martini. Can you pour some of it out and add some Bailey’s?”
😐
OR just gulp a bit and ask for a topoff. Pour it out, harrumph.
This seems like a great time to tell the tale of how Mars Bar in NYC (sometimes referred to as the last dive bar in Manhattan) got shut down by the health department.
Mars Bar was the sort of joint where you ordered a beer. A canned or bottled beer. A place that became popular precisely because it was a true dive bar and a bunch of assholes who should have been shivved decided to invade. Some bitch came in on a Saturday night and ordered an Appletini. They did have the ingredients, but they had probably been around since the 70s, and they just had one of those bottle condoms over the pour spout, so the apple schnapps was full of fruit flies. Barkeep made the drink, chickie didn’t want the extra protein and asked for a replacement. Not a different drink, a replacement. SURPRISE SURPRISE the replacement also had dead fruit flies in it. What the hell do you expect when you order a stupid, shitty cocktail at a proper dive? She complained to the city and goodbye last real dive in Manhattan. https://ny.eater.com/2011/7/22/6667705/exclusive-a-final-look-inside-the-legendary-mars-bar
I don’t see a question
What would you do if you ordered an appletini (suspension of disbelief required please) and it arrived with 850 fruit flies in it?
Politely decline it and order a (sealed, non draft) beer
I knew there was a reason we got along
Bartender: How about I fix you a real drink?
/takes out orchid root shavings and anvil
Someone ordering an espresso martini has no leg to stand on when it turns out “bad”
As a mammal who once tried pouring a shot of gin into a cup of coffee?
Can. CONFIRM.
Grappa, espresso, YOU’RE WELCOME
were they missing a towel?
https://youtu.be/IAUcHcVnzBM?si=xBp9pe9LI7RyD3-I
.
fish, which is all that Bellini eats
At least the Reds won’t be shutout again
Don’t worry, the #BFIB are running down the Bastard Man Small Bears!
My two favorite teams, the Reds and whoever is playing the Cubs!
You both suck
but teh RIGHT way!
/oldest son is back for a visit so we pulled some 20oz rib-eyes out of the freezer
Me: “We’ll need so salt these for a bit and then throw some pepper on them.”
Son: “Absolutely!”
Me: “We have to put them on an elevated rack so the air can get to both sides.”
Son: “Got it.”
Me: “If you want to put on some garlic in the pan…”
Son: “You’re such a back-seat cook.”
Me: “….”
/maybe he has a point but he was with me right up until there
/tbh, he’s much like me in that he has this invisible line with respect to interacting with people and after it’s crossed (which is inevitably) he’s a rude bastard
It’s going to be a sweet moment when he learns the “recipe” for hobo “stew.”
Totally get the invisible line thing, I’m not rude about it (unless you consider a French Exit rude) but I do have a way of ending up elsewhere alone with a book.
What’s the difference between a French Exit and an Irish Goodbye?
I thought one included anal
That’s a Greek Mentorship
Nothing, at most what you were drinking beforehand
Marzipan?
(No one will understand this)
/weaselo is offended
Leaves angry voicemail
:strongbad emails song:
Devastated that I didn’t make the list of M’s.
Merde
-balls
I was expecting “M&M, but only the green one when she’s sexy”
You might be under “A”…