Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: In Brunson We Trust

Which is to say if the Knicks win the chip, WE GOIN’ TO 7TH AVE FOR THE PARTY! YERRRRRRRRRR!

(Yes, I’m measured enough to say it only gets harder from here, as the Pacers play a fast paced game meant to gas out a rotation that Thibs keeps thin, and OKC is really, really fucking good. And the Wolves have the Randle/DDV full circle angle. But hey, unlike in baseball or football where it may be in the 60-70/30-40 range, the Knicks have the overwhelming basically monopoly, because nobody cares about the Nets. Even when the Nets were good, AND the Knicks were trash. Which has been most of the last 25 years, minus the STAT and Melo years. That’s why it would be a madhouse. Not a riot in the “burn it all down” kind, but also who the fuck parks their car in Midtown in front of Penn Station anyway, other than Uber drivers?)

(Also don’t tell Senorita Weaselo, who won’t understand.)

Okay, what about football news? This is a football site still.

Reseeding the playoffs in the divisional round is DEAD (again), as the Lions withdrew their proposal. Meanwhile it looks like the Brotherly Shove is going to be unceremoniously shoved into the illegal bin, as it looks like the Packers have the votes to make it illegal. (UPDATE: THEY DON’T HAVE THE VOTES, THE TUSH PUSH WILL NEVER DIE BY A 22-10 MARGIN—they needed 24.)

Ooh, but how about a lineman award? Something like Protector of the Year, but with a better name. (Nope, Protector of the Year it is.)

Meanwhile, you can start assembling the Dream Team for 2028, now that NFL players will be allowed to compete in the Olympics! Justin Jefferson wants in.

And this year on Hard Knocks… a team that made the playoffs? (They can apparently do that now?) It’s the Bills.

How about what’s on?

The Cup still gets first billing:
Walk Leonhard: The McJesus and Pals Story vs. Vichy North Stars (EDM vs. DAL, 8:00, ESPN)

Then the war begins again (after SGA gets named MVP):
Reggie delenda est vs. Healthy Metal Bats Crew? Let Big Mitch go to work and then hope he hits a single free throw. (IND vs. NYK, 8:00, TNT)

Also baseball (as I continue to grumble about the Yankees on Prime) and probably some sort of CONCACAF fuckery. As far as lesser footy goes, CONCACAF fuckery is low on the list, though ahead of Oceania Lesser Footy has always been at war with Eastasia Lesser Footy (over the Aussies moving to the Himalayas East Conference, which is to say Asia), and, of course, MLS.

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Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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Doktor Zymm

The medical facts of Irsay’s death in a handy diagram

FB_IMG_1747887442411
WCS

Is this their “thing” this playoffs? They going to lose Game 2, as well?

blaxabbath

Thank goodness Irsay died. I didn’t know what to do with the CLOTS preview for Year 3 of, “Waiting to see if they got a generational QB or not”

SonOfSpam

Now your preview can focus on “how decayed is Irsay” or “how funny is it that AJ Foyt outlived him” or perhaps “Andrew Luck: Still Living”

fleshwound_NPG

aj is NEVER dying

ajfoyt-lion
Gumbygirl

It’s Not- Cal Worthington, and his dog spot!

SonOfSpam

Just great commercials, #blessed to be in SoCal in the 70s-80s

fleshwound_NPG

spike lee’s pacers PTSD is eternal

SonOfSpam

He really should know better.

fleshwound_NPG

FUCKING LOL KNICKS

Mr. Ayo

Where’s the fucking foul on that? Stupid NBA.

Mr. Ayo

Well, good night Knicks, thanks for coming out.

Mr. Ayo

Why is Indiana taking a timeout? The game’s over!

Dunstan

For the last week, many of my podcasts have been running ads narrated by somebody from something called the Giggly Squad. As best I can determine, this person is the epitome of a vapid “influencer” type, and I think I want to murder her.

fleshwound_NPG

best thing to do is what i usually do: avoid podcasts

Mr. Ayo

Wait, they don’t do possession arrows in the NBA?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not since Rasheed Wallace retired

SonOfSpam

I’d like to think Jim Irsay’s ghost helped that shot go in, but his ghost is probably shooting hellheroin.

litre_cola

Holy Fuck. I believe that I have found my most hated announcer other than that broad in English futbol. Reggie Miller. I would rather hear Collinsworth read War and Peach with commentary than listen to another second of that fucking guy. How is it a good idea that he calls Pacers games?

SonOfSpam

-Doyers fans, 1977

WCS

My buddy wanted to see the Indy 500 for his bachelor party weekend, so we did in 2014. Friday night before Sunday’s race, we were in a nice locale downtown. I absolutely swear Irsy was at the other end of the bar. This wasn’t long after he had his (then-most-current) DUI thrown out, so he reckoned it’s time to get started working on getting the next.

Gumbygirl

Trump got his tacky plane, and Hegseth says they’ll take ” proper security measures” with it. Fuck that. I’m hoping as hard as I can for improper measures.

SonOfSpam

Target should sponsor it.

IF YOU GET WHAT I’M SAYING.

Gumbygirl

Presented without commentary

1000006342
Mr. Ayo

FREE HARDWOOD BALL!

fleshwound_NPG

LOL KNICKS

fleshwound_NPG

only a 2 but still LOL KNICKS

Mr. Ayo

OH NO!!! HAHAHAHA!!

fleshwound_NPG

lol knicks DON’T YOU DARE DO IT

fleshwound_NPG

“no way this power play of theirs is sustainable.”

-everybody that has played the dallas stars

peter deboer knows where the bodies are buried

fleshwound_NPG

if peter deboer cannot win a cup THIS year it will never ever happen and all those undefeated game 7 wins are only good for a free subway footlong

WCS

Live look-in at the Oilies dressing room…

comment image

SonOfSpam

You sure that wasn’t the Colts’ ownership office?

Gumbygirl

Jaysus, Shatner was hammier than Vons a few days before Easter.

Don T

With Irsay gone, GM Chris Ballard is now the Clots Proconsul. His first proclamation
/breaks wax seal
“Shittier quarterbacks”

Mr. Ayo

The Oily Boys are all tied up!

Mr. Ayo

SKINNER!

comment image

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

3-1 lead is the most dangerous lead in the hockey

Mr. Ayo

The spirit of the rule is any 2 goal lead, so this is correct.

The corollary is that if you can push it to a 3 goal lead, then you’re golden. Usually.

Don T

Our thoughts and prayers are with Irsay’s stash. Why let that waste oh Gawd!

fleshwound_NPG

monkeys crap their poop

irsay-tweet2
fleshwound_NPG

man had a tweeting prime on par with trump, hall of fame poster

SonOfSpam

JJFozz WISHES he could post that fucked up.

litre_cola

I am trying to watch 3 things at once. My brain needs more thc it seems.

Fronkenshteen

So will the new owner of the Humps also be crushing pills on his desk with the butt of a sawed off shotgun, living in a one-man rock n’ roll fantasy camp, and sleeping in a race car bed?

Mr. Ayo

Don’t think she’ll be doing that, but who knows?

comment image

fleshwound_NPG

brief glance at her wiki says studied religious studies and geoscience, plus rode horses

a whole lot of normal stuff, but those eyes say every once in awhile we’ll get the irsay crazy at random

jjfozz

May she and her franchise fail worse than I did in college calculus.

fleshwound_NPG

the man could tweet

irsay-tweet1
jjfozz

he made the world much better today

jjfozz

Bird flew into the house today, which signifies a dead soul returning. Great. Hoping it was just my dad bugging me cause he had free time on his hands.

Mr. Ayo

The Oily Boys are scoring all over Dallas.

Redshirt

Don’t bother turning into NFL Network tonight.

El Generalisimo Francisco Franco Still Dead SNL – YouTube

Doktor Zymm

Huh, Chase categorizes dirtball tickets as a ‘Health & Wellness’ purchase

Doktor Zymm

That’s not a bonus category, so just the base amount

Mr. Ayo

Can understand the wellness part, but the health part is way off.

jjfozz

Jim Irsay dies. Just another grave to piss on added to my list.

Fuck that guy.

Fuck that family.

Fuck them for eternity.

Doktor Zymm

Gotta hydrate

jjfozz

My bladder will be full of beer, bourbon, piss, and vinegar. My hatred for that family could eclipse the sun.

Brocky

To he fair, your hatred could eclipse a lot of things

Redshirt

There are other bodily fluids you can use. I personally plan to show up to Donald Trump’s grave with a Skyline Chili Five Way, Taco Bell, White Castle, Ice Cream, Red Bull, Mountain Dew and Laxatives to give Derp Fuhrer my respects.

Gumbygirl

I like the way you think, patriot!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Don’t forget the Arby’s!

BugEyedBoo

Don’t forget the asparagus!

Sharkbait

Jim Irasay was a ROUGH 65

Horatio Cornblower

Too bad about Jim Irsay. And by “too bad” I mean “too bad it wasn’t Jerry Jones.”

Doktor Zymm

Jerral IS the same age Al Davis was when he died, though his face isn’t visibly decaying yet so he probably has a couple more years

fleshwound_NPG

real skin decays

his “skin”, however…

scotchnaut

Given his family history, you’d think that Jim Irsay would have left everyone in the middle of the night.

Last edited 9 months ago by scotchnaut
Brocky

Banner!

Sharkbait

That’s it. Shut it down. Scotchy wins.

Redshirt

(freeze frame on Scotchnaut’s comment – You’ve Got the Touch by Stan Bush starts playing as DFO End Credits beings scrolling)

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

21 up votes in the offseason wow

ballsofsteelandfury

25 now. That’s gotta be a record!

Redshirt

Okay, who’s creating new profiles just to up the Up Count?!

SonOfSpam

Jim Irsay died as he lived, an asshat nepobaby. He will be missed by his dealer.

King Hippo

Fortune shines upon the grandchild who is first to the medicine cabinet, though

fleshwound_NPG

true, but still WAY better than his dad

Brocky

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Redshirt

Irsay was still alive?

LemonJello

Not on the inside.

WCS

So, what killed Irsay?
There’s a bunch of options, but my money is on something related to cocaine, hookers, and David Carridine.

LemonJello

Rickets? Shingles? Scurvy?

WCS

Fisherman’s elbow? Handmaidens’ gout? Achy-breaky pelvis?

scotchnaut

What killed him? A lifetime of doing whatever he wanted and no guardrails (friends that cared about him) whatsoever.

Mr. Ayo

Also, how much cash did he have on hand? Was it more than the 29k he had last time?

Doktor Zymm

Died of shock when he saw the tariff on importing underage Asian hookers and fentanyl

Gatoraids

go CLOTS?!?

scotchnaut

/excerpt from Irsay’s eulogy

“He taxed his body to the absolute limit with more drugs and pills and alcohol than you can possibly imagine because he could afford it. His last few years were shrouded in as much mystery as his handlers could possibly create and for that they should be commended. Jim was always given the benefit of the doubt by ESPN and the legacy media because he was rich and won a Super Bowl. If he didn’t have any money his body would have been found in a trailer or behind a dumpster. AMEN.”

Brocky

Jim Irsay dead at 65.

Man I knew some people wanted the tush push gone, but I didn’t think it was THAT serious

Doktor Zymm

I’ve mentioned this before, but my manager is really fantastic. Almost 9 months in and I’m still really glad I ended up in this job

fleshwound_NPG

*insert grateful dead lyric here* RIP

irsay-drunk
fleshwound_NPG

jim irsay is dead

told yall the curse of andrew luck is a motherfucker

fleshwound_NPG
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

JJFozz was with me the entire time.

Mr. Ayo

Never cross a civil war general.

Atlanta knows.

ballsofsteelandfury

Gotta love McJesus and Pals!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nah.

–Me, a J-O-O

ballsofsteelandfury

Makes sense why you don’t like oil…

King Hippo

Hippo would like to know whether pre-Vichy North Stars also played in a shopping mall? LAWD knows Minny has one big enough.

ballsofsteelandfury

Funny you should ask:

“For several years after the arena was demolished, the property served as an overflow lot for the Mall of America. In 2004, an IKEA store opened on the west end of the property, and the new American Boulevard was rerouted through the east end of the property. The remainder of the site is planned long-term to become the site of Mall of America Phase II, of which the IKEA would be an anchor store.”

From the Met Center Wikipedia page.

King Hippo

HOLY SHITSNACKS