The lizards are crawling on my face and eating my eyes. Failure is indeed an option and I have chosen most unwisely, again, Shit
This all comes from a sanguine suggestion of “Yeah Right” Pie indeed.
Cover me in the blood of Christ for I am truly forsaken but only on Tuesday’s and some Thursday mornings but please don’t forget that there is a nominal fee. Which you will have to pay but this does not guarantee that I show up or if I do I will most certainly be tipsy, just a quick warning that you will probably choose to ignore.
Last time I tried this I stumbled headlong? Face down? right into a bowl of not very good ice, what milk? Cream?
It’s always fun having no idea where this is going to go. Do you? Perhaps a hint is in order?
You already said what it’s going to be, stop pulling me donger and get on wit it.
Pie!
I like pie now
Not that kind of pie you old degenerate
I like panties too!
HUBBA HUBBA
The foulest of temptresses bring to bare the most revered of bonbons magical abstruseness.
So let’s just see what I can do to a pie, don’t worry I did this at home and used a stick.
Time for a silly question, ready?
What’s your favorite pie?
Look that lame joke played out rather embarrassingly earlier so let’s be more mature shall we? Sadly probably not.
Fruit pie? Chocolate cream or perhaps a mincemeat (just what in the unholy fuck is that) pie? I wonder if there’s actual blood in said pastry and if so I should try one of dem sum bitches.
As for me I like Key (Yeah Right did it) Lime but I hate Pumpkin and piss on any and all cheesecake.
Nobody cares about your lame opinions can we please just move on? Jeeeez.
I will summon forth the fiery reveal. If it’s pink we all dine in hell tonight!! Shiver and fall to your knees as the mighty divine horns all blat in unison. The confection of decisions is? (I’ve got a bad feeling about this whole messy business) Pecan!
Nice, my second favorite usually only enjoyed around the holidays or in New Orleans.
Sallysbakingaddiction.com was where I started this adventure.
The rest is all my fault. I like to take credit for my own bad delusions and please do not forget that I like my sentence structure stupid and unbalanced.
See not so challenging. Now lets rankle the devils of unreason.
These first photos are from “Yeah Right”
So this is what it’s supposed to look like but I turned it into (I’ll take control of the photos from here on out) something more like this
I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE?
Something about using two pieces of parchment paper will keep it from turning into dust.
Off to the local Piggly Wiggly for this:
STOP LAUGHING MOST LOATHSOME GHOSTS
Nice to know that the dead have a sense of humor.
“Gentle reminder somewhere along the way be sure to heat your oven to 350”
Which turned into this
SEE ALL PRETTY LIKE
Now let’s make a real disturbing bit of nasty shall we? Just followed the recipe as was and it turned into a right nightmare.
Pour the pecans right into the uncooked pie (Aren’t you supposed to pre-bake the pie crust?) crust.
LOOK A BIT LIKE ROACHES THEY DO
Let’s move on to getting wet. Fold the eggs together
Next fold gently with the tempered, melted (too warm the eggs cook) butter and homemade (See the shitty ice cream article) vanilla.
Hey is that spooge?
Just pop it over there for a jiff, be right back we will.
Off to the dry ingredients, first,
I started all fancy by grating real cinnamon sticks, I know I’m bougie like that.
Then
Hey this is easy
Now just glop (Technical jargon, you wouldn’t understand) that yuck into the Karo and blend nice-like until smooth and fulfilled.
Now drop the glop into the dry stuff, did I mention to stir your dry ingredients together with a fork, oh that’s right you’re the cook and knew that already forgive my obtuse nature.
Pour the mixture into the pie crust that already has the pecans patiently waiting and give it a shake to let the glop settle on the nuggets from trees.
Well put it into the ready easy bake oven for twenty minutes Silly, then rotate 90 degrees and then bake for another 25 minutes. Start checking, if the crust is on fire then you can be certain that it’s ready for Satan, Hail!
Anno Domini
Was it good? well, yes and no.
I followed the recipe exactly, that was a metric shit ton of pecans! Cut that down to half of what wacky pants says. What I ended up doing was peeling most of the pecans off and then it was tasty, sweet, (sweet? Brown sugar and Karo syrup is sweet? You sir are a real wordsmith) sticky and that kick of real cinnamon really shined through, the store bought crust while cooked just fine was well? Kind of tasted like what you might imagine a paper towel would taste like.. Damn it I’ll own that one. Another abject failure? You decide.
Next time I do this silly business I will be doing a dish where an animal lost it’s life.
I think I need a moxa treatment to overcome my maladies of mind and burn away my inner demons.
Taj/Lar 2/24
My first attempt at drawing undies, made one feel a touch meretricious.
I shot this,except where noted, wrote this, drew this nonsense all on my own, there was some forced coercion. No one else to blame, forced to look inward.
Oh, Nikki Haley won DC. Well that should change everything!
(whatever, just keep insulting dickwad)
2000 voters in this primary. Give me $50k and I can win more than 1,300 votes here.
She needs to stay in until the end. If she does, she’s the Republican candidate. Either one of three things will happen to Trump:
1) He will be ruled ineligible based on insurrection clause.
2) He will be convicted.
3) He will die of a heart attack or something else age-related.
If this was another country, the fourth would be he dies by assassination, but this country got over that in the 80s.
Looks like SCOTUS is ruling on the CO case in the morning.
Really hope they surprise us, but not holding my breath (mainly cuz I can’t)
I call him OLD TURD MAN because it’s almost an anagram for his name.
My flight tonight was delayed about three hours, I cannot wait to make it home to take a shit.
I understand this completely.
Take a shit on the airplane. Then you can always say you did that once. Go for it.
Great bedtime song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cWMLA5hrp4
I would go to this reverend’s church.
Oscar doubleheader today. Instead of Barbenheimer, I did Killers of the Things. Very good and WOW (resp.).
Poor Things sucked and I’ll die on this hill.
And I think Barbie is the biggest piece of shit, Emperor’s new clothes claptrap that deserved to be shelved instead of the Coyote Ae movie. A pox on pink!
I still haven’t seen a newer moviefilm than Django Unchained SO THERE
That’s the one with Tim Scott and Byron Donalds?
See, I really enjoyed Barbie. Haven’t seen the others.
So while I respect you as a smart lawyer and good all-around amigo, you are wrong and should feel shame.
Personal preference in order:
American Fiction
Killers of the Flower Moon
Past Lives
Then the rest.
Still haven’t seen Poor Things.
Next week.
Best actor Geoffrey Wright.
Best actress Lily Goldstone.
Oppenheimer’s gonna hoover all the awards. Haven’t seen it yet.
Really rooting for Jeffrey Wright, but I think it’s hopeless.
He was so good.
Always is, just a great actor.
Spoiler Alert: in his latest collaboration with Scorsese, DeNiro’s character has problems with law enforcement.
Loved that film. True to the book. Enjoyed the viewpoint from the married couple.
Solid film.
Alas it won’t win.
Oppenheimer has too much momentum and it was an ok movie at best.
Lily Gladstone is neck-n-neck with Emma Stone for Best Actress, but that’s about it.
Pirate bromance is so adorable!
Is this the most heartbreaking song or what?
https://youtu.be/QYEC4TZsy-Y
Yes. The whole “I thought I was someone else, someone good” kills me.
No matter the context, it always gets me
My 1A for this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrgtUUG_rp8
aaaaannnnndddd 1B (and man, does it ever take some doing to outdo Casmir Pulaski Day):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJJT00wqlOo
As part of my annual research for the Oscars I just watched The Zone of Interest.
The art direction and cinematography were top notch.
And that’s all I’m going to say about that movie.
Not an easy watch.
It’s gonna win best Foreign Film but I’ve seen enough nazis on the evening news these days
Anatomy of a Fall has a say so about best foreign film but you’re correct on all the other counts.
Gig update: Please stop me from eating all of the taffy.
I think you should probably eat all the taffy
Trust her, she’s a DOKTOR!
Politics is weird
Without context or knowing who this is, it’s a cheesy cute picture.
Shall we say another way to give your feet a break while in heels is to get down on your knees during Beetlejuice the Musical?
Amazing how far chemistry has come that it can make the teeth of a smoker like her look whiter than the pure white porcelain sinks.
American smiles are a real and frightening thing
She getting the jizz off?
Gross. I mean her, not cooling down the tootsies.
Someone MUST have this and write about it.
I was so close to ordering this tonite before the shame piazza won out. Maybe next weekend.
Not available up here.
I definitely had the Double Down when it was available. I needed a nap afterwards.
The last time I had KFC, my heart was racing like Secretariat. I’ll stick to Popeye’s when I need a fried chicken fix. The Colonel is a stone cold killa, you can actually feel it coming!
Not it. I have never once thought ‘gee, the problem with this delicious pizza is that it has a lovely buttery garlicky crust instead of some mediocre fried chicken’
Isn’t this is just lazy/shitty chicken parmesan?
great minds etc
Seems like white-trash parmigiana
What cheers us all up?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dRgZFC-_HQ
Chris Mortensen just died.
Seriously?
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/39647922/award-winning-nfl-reporter-chris-mortensen-dies-age-72
Also Bob Mott, starting catcher for the 1979 World Series champion Pirates.
Both were 72.
Him and Manny Sangienne (questionable spelling alert) did the catching. I loved that team.
They were fa-mi-ly
Willie Stargell and Dave Parker.
Dave Parker was a truck on the basepath.
Let me give it a shot. Sanguillen. Maybe? He was awesome, greatest smile in beisbol. He would sign autographs forever, and I’m pretty sure he never spoke a word of Inglés. So happy though!
Just told my piazza delivery person.
Thought they would cry.
Boo cancer.
Pecans don’t have enough legs or antennae to really look like roaches. And not enough wings to be like those flying roaches
Good God, I remember those nightmare creatures from Northern Virginia. JEEBUS
Those fuckers FLY AT YOUR FACE
I seriously almost passed out and died.
Not an experience I wanted to remember. On the plus side, those fuckers that dared fly at me all died quickly.
Really enjoying “our flag means death”
And this is a Jim episode!
Jim is such a badass lady
I need to watch season 2. I looooooved season 1.
Pool is refilling!
Shame piazza ordered. 6th drink in hand. Text message to bossman calling out sick scheduled. Let’s go!
Woo!
although I know it’s a typo I really dig the idea of building a shame piazza
Retirement goals!
Looming Monday is just the absolute worst. Especially without SNF.
Here’s a funny coincidence: right now my music player (on random) is playing “Sleep the Clock Around” by Belle and Sebastian. Also by Belle and Sebastian:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXiRbf-4RXc
My Wolven Sort HippoSpawn is moving to Colorado in May, going to room with her twin. I am very glad they rebuilt their relationship from high school.
She’s also taking Grandson Bronco with her, which is good and right (he is her little baby, after all). But this afternoon, I held him and cried and cried.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7asb7B3cH-o
Is she graduating or changing schools?
She graduated in December, been tending bar while she figures out next steps.
Colorado is a nice place to figure stuff out. That’s nice that she’s going to spend time with her sister.
I just ate a big bowl of salad for dinner, I’ll be lifting weights tomorrow, I have a BOGO coupon for Double Del Bacon Cheeseburgers that’s expiring shortly, and I need more Del Scorcho packets.
The stars are aligning for a guilt-free trip to Del Taco tomorrow.
One of these days we should take a field trip to Del Taco #1 in Barstow. Not kidding. Worth the trip and I can visit a few old ghosts.
Things I didn’t know about myself until today: I’m a little afraid of the camera on the jib falling on me. It’s gotten pretty close to being in the path of my bow.
Hey Brick, speaking of camerapersons, are you familiar with The Godfather? He’s a friend of my dad’s from HS.
Don Vito Corleone?
I forgot that Cleveland changed the name of their dirt football team to the Cardigans. I though it was something with a ‘g’ but Cardigans is way better
We could call them the “Backyardigans,”but that would get Balls overstimulated. Again.
https://youtu.be/A_uR4jjessY?feature=shared
My dear Dr., you have besmired and bismirched the good name of all Cardigans in armoires and wardrobes around the world.
What else have you forgotten Doktor?
They’s such total Love Fools!
https://youtu.be/iYuldgIOelY?si=K71kiko3hKahI_KH
just the taylor swift deep state cabal extending their influence smh
https://youtube.com/watch?v=K-a8s8OLBSE
They’re losing their favorite game.
/I am of course referring to Gran Turismo 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LfKFLPpoz1A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1KC_ULLXJ8
Good news ! The restaurant has my card, and SIL can pick it up. They think we’re morons, and we probably are, but crisis averted.
Here’s a very cool description of how the Space Shuttle engines were started at launch. Watching this is much better than preseason baseball or down-card NCAA basketball:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgT9-oMXgCU
So I have discovered a now glaringly obvious fact. Taking an edible and being on Ozempic or Trulicity are not compatible as the edible may kick in 8 hours later when you are smoking a cannibas cigarette, rendering cogent thought extremely rare.
Sounds like a good time to me!
But when you’re driving?
Hmmm. Pull over and call an Uber. Get some Uber Eats while you’re at it!
And why are you smoking a cannabis cigarette if you’re driving?
Lol, I thought you would catch that.
I don’t miss much, Cheech!
Is CBSSports run by a bunch over 60+ types? Is that why one of their feature games is 15-13 Indiana vs. 15-14 Maryland? ESPN3? Yes. CBS? No.
Oh look! The 2nd half of the doubleheader is 8-21 Michigan vs 17-12 OSU!
Catch the (Non-COVID) Fever!
BIG- Basketball Isn’t Good
Mmmmm, pie! Here’s my latest disaster. The other day, we drove up to Big Bear to return SIL’s dog to her. We all went out to a nice old resto up there, Captain’s Anchorage, highly recommend. We split the bill, I paid half with my Amex. SIL paid half with her Visa. The place is very dark, both of the credit cards are dark, and we each had a martini and split a bottle of wine They returned hers to me, mine to her, and we signed, never noticed. Today she called and asked if she left her card in my car. She called the resto, they don’t have it. I looked, not in the car, but I found hers in my wallet, with the receipt. I have to call them at 4:30 to see if they have mine, please let it be so, and get them to permit SIL to pick it up since she’s still up there. Why can’t I just have a steak and get pleasantly buzzed without it turning into an ordeal?
You’re not the Universe’s favorite, but you are mine, just don’t tell the others.
If there’s anything more irrelevant than pre-season baseball, I’ve not encountered it yet.
I was just now browsing my list to find MLB network so I could watch spring training games. I’m jonesing for some baseball.
In a Jim Jones kind of way?
Found a pirate stream and watching Cubs Cleveland as we speak.
Who coined the term jonesing, I am pretty sure it pre-dates Jim Jones?
It definitely goes back to the early 70’s
Intro by Don Cornelius!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex4biy8GOPI
Intro by Cheech and Chong!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlhWPVJNAOo
It appears in some 60’s films, but I don’t remember ever hearing it in a movie from before then.
I remember in my cigarette phase using ” Jonesin’ for a smoke” regularly.
So the phrase goes all the way back to the 1920’s then, good to know.
It reportedly originated among addicts in New York City in the 1960s, referring to Jones Alley (also called Great Jones Street), a hangout for drug users/sellers in the West Village.
That explains the needing a cigarette thing.
Thanks Brick, I have learned two things today.
I visited what must have been a several million dollar apartment in Great Jones Street once. Dude in one of my classes at NYU was living there rent-free with a much older lady, though apparently it ‘wasn’t like that’
Suuure
Move over Pistol Pete.
Gilbert Arenas, you can step aside, too.
/headstone shudders
I wonder what Pete Maravich’s NCAA scoring record would be if he only played against school girls.
This is about the astronaut who drove halfway across country intending to torture and kill her romantic rival. The narrator and drawings are pretty funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1240pBzz2w
If I remember right, she did it while wearing a diaper so she wouldn’t have to pull over.
The storyteller has a bunch of fun with that fact.
Oh, to be loved like that. And dismembered when she freaks out on me.
Is it better to have loved and lost a couple limbs than never to have loved at all?
Did she cut off my ‘twig and berries’? If yes, then the answer is no. Just no.
I’m in different about pecan pie, but love me some butter tarts which are basically the same thing, so thinking I don’t like pea-cons all that much in pie
We buy (and sell) this brand by the skidlot. She (a very savvy businesswoman, btw) started out in Sudbury but had to move to a larger facility down around Toronto.
Sure, Andy Reid’s weekly allotment, but how many others do you sell?
How much for delivery to the GTA?
Mandatory.
“but hopefully not flakey”
All right! Just finished up my obligatory five minutes of watching UConn during the regular season so that when the tournament starts I can call myself a diehard fan.
OSU fans stormed the court after their 14-3 (at the time, currently 25-3) team beat Iowa back in
DecemberJanuary. Give me a break.Napoli plays Juve here in a bit. I feel a spanking coming up. Speaking of spanking…
I feel a nippling, myself…
I wonder how many overeager menfolk have received a concussion from those deadly weapons!
Napoli wins!
It was a touch pecan heavy but a very tasty pie none the less.
I would absolutely kill for a fresh strawberry rhubarb pie right now.
Peach is normally my go-to, but we had a peach-raspberry one last year that I’m looking forward to a Round 2 with.
an interesting combo that I never would have imagined. I’ll watch out for that.
I don’t like it on it’s own but toss some vanilla ice cream on there and it becomes amazing.
This is probably down to the dairy allergy I probably have (and only recently realized) – but I always thought iced cream is just a coverup for the pie being shitty. The fruit and the crust flaky goodness should suffice to carry the treat,
.
Watch UCONN bully some punks from Seton Hall or Caitlin Clark? Seems like an easy choice.
I look forward to 5.5 months from now, and I have reason to turn my TV back on.
/thank fuck for City of Men’s comeback but the footy can still fuck right off atm
Is there any substance to a “Broom to Saudi Arabia” rumor circulating?
Yes. I think it’s partially contract re-negotiation posturing, but as with Gundogan, those don’t always result in the player staying.
Crap-I’d hate to see that but money is money apparently.
From my vast FM experience, anytime you can make money on an old player…it’s mighty tempting, even when it tugs at the feels.
I watched the highlights of that and after the dive attempt all I can say is that United fucking had it coming.
And Gus Johnson with the call!
If I wanted to watch a bunch of kids from Connecticut bully some losers from New Jersey I’d…um…hmm. Trying to think of a situation where kids from Connecticut would be bullying anybody. Tennis camp, maybe?
Benetton? Or whatever that store is called.
Lacrosse, ya big dummy.
They’d both be getting bullied by the Long Islanders though!
I’d always assumed that lacrosse is bigger in New Jersey than it is in Connecticut.
I love me some pecan pie but I love me a DJ TAJ post more.
He’s a genuine beat poet, no doubt.
So…Joe Mixon + iambic pentameter?
that’s just GOOD COMMENTIST HUSTLE right thar
He is the best!
Store bought puff pastry makes a damn fine pie crust.
I saw an article in the NYT this morning with the headline “Why Pants?” which I thought was great, but turns out the full title was “why pants are so wide again” which I don’t care about
In other Sunday morning me news, pool (of refinished pool diving board fame) is getting the plaster grinding-finishing-etc today. Here’s the AM pic, after the dudes added all the plaster yesterday.
That’s a lot of rope.
“Yeah that’s like twenty times as much as you’d need.” – Michael Hutchence
“gurk”
-David Carradine
“Wrong!” – Kieko “Kinky” Noshimura
Need Yanited to do the business to Citeh to extend the Mighty Reds lead.
Narrator: That did not happen
I enjoy pecan pie, but I also understand why it can be off-putting to some.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Did you just Blair Witch yourself? Impressive!
Pecan pie is a dessert rich in contrasts….
Speaking of pecan pie, here’s a 550 lb bluefin tuna going from the fishing boat tobeing plated at a sushi restaurant in Japan. The process involves some very sharp knives.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfyyqTKm_W8
Edit: I Blair Witched myself.
I heard that in my head in Morgan Freeman’s voice.
As to Old Scratch, do y’all ever wonder if anyone ever stumbles into a Black Mass just thinking “hey, a Black priest would be kind of cool?”
Usually if I’m stumbling into a Black Mass around here, it’s because Meghan McCain is using Halloween as an excuse to wear something slimming and we all thought her standing at the door was just a consumptive pitch black tunnel that begins at the sidewalk.
But I haven’t really gotten out to meet the neighbors much either….
Blax are supposed to like a little junk in the trunk amirite??
– Sydney Powell, standing outside the hotel room door giving pointers to Jenna Ellis before her first private encounter with Rudy Giuliani.
Es muy allergico!
I always wonder what tree nuts taste like. I had Frangelico once when I was on Extasy, it tasted nice until the hives and fever came.
I’ll make sure it’s NL Champions Souvenir Candy Necklace Night at vs COS…..
oops wrong hole
I think they’re pretty awesome, although almonds are overrated. But even macadamias aren’t worth epi penning for
Out first house had a big mature pecan tree in the back yard. Get tons of pecans. Dogs out there bringing in 9 month old pecans and cracking them open on the rug and leaving the damn shells on the ground floor year-round.
I tried pecan pie many times. It always came out all rawlike in the middle.
Yes, that happens. You think it’s done, then you find out it’s not. Sad! I put some choccychips in mine, because I’m fancy.
You’ve unearthed an ancient memory of mine. Pecan pie with instant coffee tasted fantastic-the bitterness of the latter cut through the overwhelming sweetness of the former and it was a great combo.
Unfortunately, I was served pecan pie every day in the mess hall during boot camp at Great Lakes, IL. I have traumatic associations with it and I have never eaten it since. Although this looked very good and if you made it and served it to me I would break my embargo on that one occasion.
You got dessert in boot camp?
Fucking Navy dorks.
Of course we did. But the same kind of pie every day? That’s fucked up.
You don’t even want to know how well we ate on the submarine.
Patrol menu:
Stuffed celery and fruit cake? 😖 But I’m sure they taste better with an officer yelling AND YOU WILL LIKE IT.
We did an operation once off the USS Iwo Jima and I got to eat in the Chiefs mess. Not too shabby.
I like this pie a lot but you do seriously have to eat it carefully. A pecan shell inadvertently left in there will disrupt your desert at best, generate an unplanned trip to the dentist at worst.
That’s why, every time I plan on having a slice of pie, I go online and make an appointment with my dentist. Then, if I don’t need them, I just go to another dentist.
Seriously, do you know how many dentists there are?