The AFL season starts this week with the “Opening Round” which the AFL has done for two years now and it’s apparently here to stay. Oh, and this year, we have a WILD CARD! In the God Knows How Many years I’ve been actively following the AFL (not counting my years in the 80s when the league was on ESPN 2), things have changed a lot and continue to change. So, what’s new for this year? First, let’s start with how things ended last year. Then, we can focus on what’s happened during the preseason. Finally, we can look ahead to this week.
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The Final AFL Ladder from last year
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AFL Grand Final Highlights
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The AFL Preseason Results
The AFL Preseason Highlights
AFL Opening Round Standings and Schedule


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AFL Footy Tipping Contest Last Year’s Results
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Notes and Comments
Alas, the iconic Centre Bounce is no more. The AFL killed it because apparently the refs can’t do it correctly so instead of spending time and money teaching them, they decided to just fuggedaboutit. Also, they decided they wanted to subscribe to the NHL’s newsletter, so now 10 out of the 18 teams will get into the playoffs. The top 4 will continue to get byes and the Double Chance. 5 and 6 will get byes. 7 to 10 will play immediately after the last round to see who plays 5 and 6. God, I sound more and more like an old man every day. GET OFF MY LAWN!
I wouldn’t put too much stock into the preseason results. Like the NFL, different teams take different approaches and there is a lot of experimentation. The good thing is that the preseason has been cut down to just one game. The interesting part about this off-season is that we had a State of Origin game prior to the preseason games. This was held in Perth and matched up players from Victoria against players from Western Australia. A good time was had by all and it was successful enough that there is talk that it may come back next year.
The Brisbane Lions are (AGAIN) your defending champs. As you saw in the video above, they overcame the Geelong Cats to win back to back Premierships. Truth be told, they are a VERY good chance to win again as they return pretty much everyone.
BFC still owes us a Boots On The Ground from his last trip to Australia as well as his adventures on playing the actual game in the States. Don’t think we have forgotten!
I will not make any predictions this year because it seems like it’s Brisbane against everyone else. However, Carlton, Collingwood, Gold Coast, Geelong, and Sydney should contend.
Congratulations to Sharkbait, who edged SonOfSpam to take last year’s AFL Tipping Competition! Make sure to join again this year to see if we can dethrone him! Action starts TONIGHT, so make sure to get your tips in!!
If you are a member of an AFL club or you got a Watch AFL membership, you should be able to watch every AFL and AFLW game, including replays. Game times vary between Australian afternoon and evening, which actually makes it easier for us in North America to watch as the games can be seeing in the evenings on Pacific Time and early mornings on Eastern time.
If you haven’t become a member of a club or signed up for the Watch AFL app, you can still watch the AFL and AFLW games in the USA on either FS1 or FS2 and in Canada on TSN. Showtimes can be found here on the Australian Football Association of North America website. But I do recommend that you join a club. It’s fun and they send you free shit.
See you next week!



Was it just me, or was the site nuked for a bit?
Not just you
Since being crappy and expensive wasn’t enough, Vegas also was full of germs and now I have a sore throat and headache
Hey, Horatio, if you’re no longer in the back office and I’m no longer on twitter, how do I get in contact with you about showing up at your house and/or meeting you at Treehouse this month?
Join BlueSky! It’s pretty much nazi-free unlike that other place. Lots of us (ok like three) make merry there on occasion (ok like never).
Oh good call, I have an account there that I almost never use.
FRIEND US. I will almost never DM you with vids from Heated Rivalry.
I can attest to the “almost never” part of that.
Apparently I already follow you, so….awkward
Oh ok…the account I think is yours, I didn’t realize was you. STOP BEING SO MYSTERIOUS.
Yeah, there is that. Also if you have Don T’s contact information he can pass mine along to you.
Also I just went to Treehouse Sunday. And BT’s Smokehouse. I couldn’t possibly do that twice in a month. That would be terrible. Simply terrible.
I might be able to swing a day trip there. Let me know
Found your cell. I’ll drop you a text as I firm up plans.
Goddamnit Horatio get back on Slack or we’re going to reverse your stock options grant.
Let’s play a new game:
“How Many Screwdrivers Can I Fit into Jeff Goldblum’s Face?”
What if he prefers mojitos?
Oh man I need to make some mojitos before lime and/or mint season ends.
Father of a daughter AND a smoker 😏
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8xcFuqD0fs
LADY FIGHT
Dead BLEERGH!
Yeah, poor LadyRef got coldcocked.
https://www.cnn.com/world/live-news/iran-war-us-israel-trump-03-04-26?post-id=cmmcjah4h00003b6rgwa9z3l7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWdfRRtAs3o&pp=ygUdZGVtb2NyYWN5IHNpbXBseSBkb2Vzbid0IHdvcms%3D
What’s democracy?
I wish to fuck I could afford a subscription so I can watch, but you know I HAVE TO WORK TO MAKE SURE MY FUCKING KIDS GET WHATEVER THE FUCK THE WANT WHENEVER THEY FUCKING WANT IT AND DON’T EVERY SAY “THANKS DAD FOR WORKING AT A PLACE THAT KILLS YOU SECOND BY SECOND.”
It’s $193 American to become a global gws fan and get access to all AFL games from any team:
https://am.ticketmaster.com/gwsgiants/globaldigitalgiant
I’ll kick in $15 to the gofundme
right now, believe it or not, that’s not in our budget. oh sure, she can buy 45 fuckign candles a week, but hey we NEED those
Hence the gofundme
I’ll also kick in something.
/kicks in neighbor’s front door, demands casserole
I found the Manningcast. I can find you a rummy harbor.
Damn the arches and RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Ooo. Nice one from Dave @ The Draw Play today…
https://www.thedrawplay.com/
(Sorry, RTD, but it’s funny cuz it’s true)
Anyone bring some heroine? Hippo is bored.
A heroine?
I gotcha covered:
archery is great FOAR shoulder definition ppl forget that (but not Hippo)
Uh, no, but I’m in Ohio. Odds are a meth lab is somewhere within a square mile of my location.
Woo hoo, it’s AFL – after dark!
They have to, so Carlton matches don’t violate obscenity laws smgdh
Is this where we talk about the interview Toby Greene did where he said he punched out his own dad for being a dick?
/for those that don’t recall, wifey provides services to older compromised individuals.
Her latest client?
[in John Madden voice] “Here’s a guy that”-
-was traveling to a court date in a city an hour away (he had assaulted a tenant) and pulled over into a restaurant parking lot and relieved himself there in front of several folks having lunch
-runs out of gas before reaching court
-walks to a gas station, buys a jerry can, fills it with gas and then walks on down some road
-ends up at a hospital, walks into the ambulance bay and asks attendants there if they know where his car is
-attendants get him to emergency where he is diagnosed with sky-high blood sugar and is ‘properly’ medicated
-he’s put into a taxi and sent back to the hospital in his own town but the taxi driver let’s him out in front of the main entrance so he wanders around the site asking if anyone knows where his vehicle is.
-a well-meaning individual leads him to a vending machine (because he’s hungry) and buys him a few chocolate bars.
-a taxi is called and drops him off at an address that his dad owned when he was a kid. The residents call the cops but he’s gone by then.
Wifey surmises that she’s on the hook to help the guy re-sked the first court appearance, escort him to the police to explain the peeing incident, (they were called, obviously) have him tested for a shit-ton of things including dementia, hunt down a next-of-kin and on and on.
Good to hear Joe Biden is still getting out.
I’d sell my soul to the devil to have Sleepy Joe as president again, rather than the abomination we have now.
Sleepy >> Pantshitting
Absolutely, but Biden’s stubborn, egotistic insistence on running for reelection is a good part of the reason we have that colossal shitbag right now. I’ll never forgive him or his hangers-on for that.
#MeToo
No Dem was ever going to win-that’s how fucked up the US is right now.
I don’t think that’s true. If they run a normal campaign with someone other than Kamala, they probably would have won.
Unnamed Democrat always wins, unfortunately they have to run named Democrats
If the Dems run a straight white guy not named Gavin they win. Veteran even better. And no trannies.
Maybe, maybe not, but they’d have had a hell of a better chance without having to scramble from July to November, with the voters memories of a basically catatonic Biden fresh…
You know what? I’m just going to get more and more pissed off going down this road. It’s hot chocolate time.
I believe Scotchy is correct here. The media landscape (including online) during the couple years leading up to the election demonized Biden (and other Dems by association) and absolutely memory-holed everything horrid about Trump and the GOP. The fact that Trump got whatever-million votes is unfathomable, and I really don’t think the opponent would’ve mattered much upon reflection. Now a still-too-small majority is going “Oh yeah, that fuckin guy” and the midterms should be positive, but I fear this same stupid thing will keep happening. Bottom line, in the next 5 years, we need a huge disruption in governing-as-usual and to castrate billionaires’ influence (for a start).
Sorry, didn’t mean to soapbox. Let me be king in ’28 and you won’t have to read this shit anymore.
The Dems should have called an emergency primary to find somebody who was qualified to run. instead they rushed her into the starting gate, somehow forgot how to coach her and then got crushed.
all politics is stupid as fuck and fuck if i care about who’s in the white house
they are all bottom feeding fuckwits who assfuck America with everything they have to line their pockets and create a huge gulf between classes, races, and everything else
they should be force fed gallons of fecal matter shat out by sumo wrestlers
Watching Arsenal hang on to a 1-0 lead for 81 minutes against goddamn Brighton while Nottingham comes back twice with insane goals to take 2 points away from Man City
Wait, what? Holy shit I need to look up the highlights!
Was mental. Sadly Mighty Whitey was a wet fart today, but if it means Spurs goes down I will take it.
The first goal Nottingham Forest scored was nuts.
Now y’all can lose at the Etihad and still win the Title by a point. Just…no other oopsie doodles. A diddly.
I’m already anticipating the inexplicable 1-0 loss to Everton.
Cincinnati 19 – Team Cuba 2. Go Reds! Beat those…Reds!
Well Lou Holtz died
I told him it was a bad time to visit Tehran.
That was a short reign as Supreme Leader! Bibi doesn’t shtoop around.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/missing-epstein-files-justice-department-b2931925.html#
(last week)
Bondi: “Mr. President, the Washington Post is going to release a story about our cover up of the Epstein Files next week. Can you think of something that will distract the media and public from this story?”
Trump: “No problem. I got just the idea!”
This has been in my head pretty much constantly since Operation Epic Fail started. Join me!
https://youtu.be/aRHqs8SffDo?si=5GNpEdomAS0Ww_F5
Diggs released. AJ Brown! Come on down!
You shut your whore mouth.
Did I miss the link to the tipping contest?
Aside from life, I need more things to lose at right now.
Just sent you an invite
/say the line
Am I in yet?
Did not receive
🤮
https://bsky.app/profile/insidenflnews.bsky.social/post/3mgaqwwuq322b
Like we need more reasons NOT to go to Ohio.
Hasn’t Ohio suffered enough?!?!
I’ll answer that after the midterms.
40 comments by 11am? What did I miss?
Anyway, it finally happened. Someone literally blew up the restroom at work.
Yeah, well that’s what happens when you participate in a Supreme Leader Election zoom call from the toilet. Israelis gonna getcha.
Instant reaction: Rams got a necessary upgrade with McDuffie, and Chiefs got some quality picks for him. I think it’s a rare win-win trade.
Rams still have Atlanta’s 1st (#13), their own 2nd and 3rd, then nothing until the 6th round. Better not miss on the early picks.
1st three picks should be tackle, WR, and maybe another CB.
Thank you for your attention etc.
So it appears a U.S. Navy submarine sank an Iranian warship in the Indian Ocean and the “Department of War” is all tingling about it.
That’s like bragging about beating up a retarded kid. The MK-48 torpedo probably cost more than the ship it sank.
To be fair, with War Secretary Lord Master Supreme Hegseth Offender for the Faith and Just or whatever Trump has changed his title to, I’m surprised we haven’t accidentally bombed ourselves yet. Militarily. I know Hegseth is probably bombed right now.
Kuwait seems to have accidentally shot down an F-15. That kind of counts.
Three F-15’s, actually. Air-to-air, if I’m not mistaken.
Hey, the Speaker of the House said we are NOT at war, so you must be mistaken.
Wouldn’t be the first time Republicans got tingly over a police action.
🏆
Question…do you think any soldiers or seamen or Marines like Hegseth’s schtick? Using “warfighters” and “lethality” and all the macho bullshit?
I wanna think everyone’s just rolling their eyes at him, but maybe some are bought in.
https://www.alternet.org/iran-holy-war/#
Better not to dwell that Trump’s commander accidentally implied he’s the Antichrist.
Every day there’s more proof that this is just the dumbest timeline
I have no problem living in a computer simulation but is it too much to ask that they debug the code first?!
sadly, i think we’re in the alpha release
Probably. Young, dumb, and easily manipulated is the ideal, especially for infantry types. Submariners are smarter, because they have to do a lot more than point and shoot.
Boots in the infantry are young dumb and easily manipulated. After a while you get jaded by all the “ooh rah” bullshit this and “warrior ethos” that and wonder if your officers should be drug tested, and IQ tested because of the absolute stupid shit they think, say and do.
Excuse me, but I need to step away and tell that young LCpl NOT to marry that stripper, give her power of attorney AND not to buy that clapped out, used Hellcat Charger at 28% interest. (This flashback brought to you by the United States Marine Corps)
The fundies will never get jaded, especially now that they’re framing this as a Holy War. They’re programmed to whole-heartedly believe the bullshit, no matter how ridiculous. And there are sooooo many of them with the Jeebus Chip, it’s scary.
.
Why not QAAaaaaron Rodgers? He’s gotten every coach he’s ever been under fired, IIRC.
Well, except for Tomlin who, after one season, said NOPE and GTFO.
Now there’s an agent for regime change…
Aaron can’t overthrow anyone. Underthrow, sure!
“Congratulations to Sharkbait, who edged SonOfSpam”
Hey, I appreciated it.
…eventually
“Edging? That’s amateur hour. All they’re gonna do is bleed a bunch without any real damage. You gotta use the point – thrust it into a vital spot and you’ll be on your way so fast nobody will remember that you were even there.” – Ray Lewis
Posted 15 years ago? Well it’s new to me, damnit.
https://youtu.be/PyV-oTTyIWg?si=HkyZsyYBnSpu1wP9
I love Balls’s posts because they’re always like scientific papers. It’s not just a season preview, it’s definitive proof of said season.
QED!
“Science? Don’t believe in it.” [Dismissive wanking motion]
-This entire administration, probably
Lets goooo!
I have to support Western Bulldogs. That was a fun game to go to
Round 5 of chemo today.
The surgery she is a candidate for consists of:
Opening her up, removing all the bad (3 masses and wherever else it’s went). Then, they pour HOT CHEMO into the cavity and let her marinate in it for hours, drain it off, and close her up. 8 hours. Walking same day. Sweet christing hell.
Worst. Sunday Gravy. Ever.
Hoping that things go better than planned
That IS the good plan 🤣
I’m currently with my dad at the hospital
His cancer is not in remission again and they see masses near his spine mid back.
His kidneys are also functioning at about 15%, so they want him in to do a zillion tests and see what the next steps are for both the cancer and kidneys. He’s also having issue with his back and is in pain.
They talked about doing radiation as the area seems small, so not a need for chemo.
So, kinda get what you are going through NSBS. Stay strong and let us know if we can do anything for yous
We hang in there. For them.
Fuck cancer.
It killed Rush Limbaugh.
(Have to say I haven’t been all that pleased with its work since)
Flaming Hot Chemos sounds pretty 2026.
Really? Coulda swore they opened for squirrel nut zippers in 98.
Fuck. Cancer, and cancer treatments, are awful. Hang in there, both of you.
As an American who loves but is not steeped in the history of the game, the AFL Origin preseason map is crazy to me. It’d be like the NFL saying “hey, Jared Goff, go play a full extra game before your first preseason game where you’re throwing to Brandin Cooks and Davante Adams because you’re all from California. Don’t worry if some of your teammates are on the opposing team, they will still try to hurt you.”
And yeah, I owe at least three BoTGs, they’re on the list.
That’s why we need the NFL version with California v Florida!
Dammit, I don’t wanna root for QAron in any capacity.
That’s why I said Goff!
THIS DOG OF MINE WHO JUST DISCOVERED WHERE THE CAT VOMITED I CALL HER A LESBIAN ON THE EVE OF THE APOCALYPSE BECAUSE SHE IS LICKING THE CARPET LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.
Or Benedict Bridgerton AMIRITE?!
I didn’t realize there was a post-credits scene.
Oh yes!!! You get a wedding!
They should do a spinoff with the one-armed housekeeper. They could call it “Hazel Deformed”.
Brisbane won the last two years and they’ll win again this year. So we’ve added more playoff teams to make this year feel different.
I do like the one game preseason though.
No way, this is our year, WOOOOOO
(GWS injury list is already in mid season form)
The season is still so fresh that even Redshirt thinks the Bengals somehow have a path to the double chance round, despite Mike Brown’s cheapness.